Dear Me
Can I just say that over the years (well lets face it you ain't getting any younger) I have resented you for not being athletic enough (well OK so just lately.....hang on since when did 15 years become just lately?) Brave enough (should that not be dumb enough) Funny enough (erm lets not go there) Smart enough ( and again lets not go there either) Talented enough (what do you mean bodge it and scarper!) Handsome enough (oh I don't know) Rich enough (have you lot not met my wife) Admired enough (sob!) Educated enough (your having a fecking laugh right) Popular enough (OK so you got me on that one) Outgoing enough (me I'm just shy and misunderstood) Quiet enough (OK so my mouth opens and both feet follow) Old enough (although at this point I feel fecking old) Young enough (hahahaha) Loving enough(I don't think I'm qualified to answer that one!) and loved enough (there should always be a little room for some loving!) I have always demanded perfection from you (Doesn't sound like me) and have found you to have not hit the mark, the result of this obsession (shouldn't the tablets have kicked in by now? are you sure that this is about me at all) has been to make you terrified of failure ( now I know that you're talking about somebody else) and ridicule (with this hairstyle) Angry at any obstacles (me angry noooo) and finally incapable (careful) of enjoying the fruits of your labour. That is not only all around you but within you as well (fecking hippy) well I can assure you Mister that's all about to change,From now on I intend to make every effort (yeah right) to love and accept you (feck off) as you are! But since old habits die hard (I just had to get a song title in there kids) lets start with something easy....Your not as fat as you think you are (time to take the drink from the old loon).
Affectionately Me
PS: it's amazing what you can do while waiting for a parcel....until next time Toodles!
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