Sunday 27 December 2015

We'll Burn The Sky


I had to change the pace of the blogs, life had been shit and I really didn’t want to infect the blogs any more than I had, so I drew a line in the sand and I took a stand. My intention is to stand and fight and if I have to I will take life and its four horsemen down with me, together me and the wife intend to Burn the sky (hence the title and yes the name game is very much in play).

I was happy that I had blogged and had got it out of the way, but I was running on empty and the vapours were not something I wanted to smell, something was rotten and for once it wasn’t me, but life itself, and for once I wasn’t going to be beaten, I had a cunning plan and I intended to put it into operation. Thankfully I was back to work and even that wasn’t cutting the mustard, well that’s not exactly true, it was, but I was listless, the days were just bleeding into each other, each day becoming just a mind numbingly boring slog, even coming through the front door to see our hell hound bouncing about because he’s happy to see me (WTF) didn’t kick start the motor of life, but at least there was a spark, that at least was something, I’m not used to being the centre of attention, ha go figure.

I had yet another Dr’s appointment actually it was meant to be with the practise nurse I started to panic when I saw a Dr sat in the room (oh dear now what?) as it happens   it wasn’t as bad as I thought, the super tanker that is me is slowly but gradually being pulled back on course, I was presented with a new medication (that was to have ramifications more of that later) I thought they were going to just call me fat! however I had lost some weight (again WTF!) nothing over the top but certainly baby steps,  the worrying thing was the fact that my test results for my heart weren’t back (I did try to tell them I didn’t have one!) ah well I have another appointment soon so maybe that will present me with some better news, back to more work and sometimes the wife is on her duty shift on a late shift and it would appear I have become accustomed to sitting in the dark at home, now not in a miserable or miserly well (well actually I’m not sure on the last part) I have used the cover of dark to sit and try and have a working plan for life in general and it has seemed to work (so far) it might not be perfect, but I’m getting there, baby steps boys and girls baby steps!

I have also spoken to the youngest on the odd occasion usually about food and how to cook something (seeing as how I’m the home Marco Pierre White……cough splutter not!) it’s nice to make contact even if for a little while, as I keep saying the world keeps turning and she is growing and starting to spread her wings, she is no longer our little girl anymore (try telling the wife that) for once it appears I am thinking of myself and giving myself some space, funny how that works, I need to be careful I might get to like it!

Again back to work and the 17th audit of the year thankfully the last one that is aimed at specifically me, not that I mind, my average is sitting at 96% I know I’m doing something right, if I’m not that’s what the audit is for, so unlike other people I never panic about an audit especially when the nearest person on the audit trail has a 71% rate (oh dear) I’m not perfect but I always try my best. Thankfully it is helping me come back to an even keel! Hopefully as you read this that you might realise I’m getting better, I’m not “happy” or “fixed” but I am fighting the good fight. Some people are having some very heavy times in their lives, I hope I can offer them the support that they have offered me over the last couple of months, this year has been decidedly shit for friends and family through sickness and health, Life will win in the end (it always does) I just have no intention of giving in or of going quietly (that’s the new me go figure) music has as always been helping and I have been playing even more music (if that is even possible) but it’s always the classics, but what the hell, I’m having fun with the stuff that I’m listening to and that’s what music has always been about!

We had a jolly jaunt to take the youngest some food supplies at Uni, I checked the weather forecast, “there’s going to be some rain but we should be OK” famous last words a journey that takes just over 70 minutes one way took a little over 150 minutes (you do the math) to get there, we didn’t stay long because of the condition of the rain soaked roads on the way there, but it took us over 390 minutes to get back with many diversions and downed trees with a smattering of drowned policemen doing a valiant task of getting us on our way home, the worst weather we have driven through, my hearts go out to the people in Cumbria and all of the support people who endured though that long night.

The next day although we were drained we had arranged to go and see G & E, who because of our situation we felt that we had neglected them, we simply hadn’t been the best company and G had enough on his plate without us adding to it, we even turned up on time ………..well for us, within ten minutes of the arranged time, we set off to The Rattler and had a wonderful Sunday lunch, but as always it ended way too soon, the previous days adventures were taking the toll, the wife had pulled something (ooo er missus) and was struggling with her breathing, we came home after a lovely meal (and even better company) like the old couple that we are and snuggled on the settee with the hell hound at our feet.

The following days have moved on at a swift pace, back to work and a brief respite with SMOR and his good lady, Whitesnake hit the toon and we were hooked up with brilliant seats (thanks man) and passes for the after show, we missed Black Star Riders (on purpose) after seeing them a half a dozen times in 18 months we wanted the company of a likeminded lunatic ( I can hear him now shouting “how very dare you”) we watched the band (no review I enjoyed it, I know I was surprised as much as you the reader hahaha  end of story) met with some peeps and missed loads more, we then headed out as Def Leppard were getting arrested for throwing a bag of cats down some stairs ………………..oh no I mean as Joe Elliott started singing, to be honest the last time I saw a full Leppard concert the drummer had two arms (High and Dry Tour if you were interested)  they have done some nice stuff, they just don’t interest me enough to want to watch them, good luck if you want to but no thanks for me.

The next day I was Duty Dog, I know me in in charge of a billion-pound shopping centre, it frightens me as well, well not as much as it used to. It’s a long shift which I usually while a way dealing with stupid people who should not be allowed out of the house, never mind their street without a carer! A quick turnaround after a late night does not make me a happy camper, but I got through the day painlessly and without killing or maiming anybody, a low profile was the order of the day, once home with the wife back indoors we were soon ensconced watching all the crap on the TV that we had recorded but not watched, I made a killer sweet and sour chicken meal and then we drifted off into a TV stupor, then we climbed up the wooden hill as we were returning to Carlisle to pick up our youngest and bringing her home so she can serve in servitude over Christmas or something similar, that sounds so wrong written but it still strikes my funny bone over and over again , mind you as I pull this particular funny out, I discovered that so far all university has done is to teach my youngest how to drop the F-Bomb with monotonous regularity………..go figure my tax pounds working for the good of the country, but as always I get ahead of myself!

We were able to drag ourselves from our pit at a silly time (I was going to say at the crack of dawn but the wife kept asking who the hell is Dawn?) of the morning at a time when darkness still ruled (I know its December I was trying to paint a picture) and headed westwards as more heavy weather was heading into Cumbria and we didn’t want a repeat of the previous weekend, the wife still wasn’t well, ongoing health issues no not me, mind you I do believe I am the perfect tonic! So I was concerned for her, we got there in record time announcing to the youngest that the eagle had landed, we were like UN peacekeepers going to get refugees out of a war torn country once on board we got the hell out of dodge with Charlie firing all they had at our Chinook……………………. hang on I’m having Vietnam flashbacks for some reason! We got out ahead of the bad weather although we could see it coming in, at the half way point we stopped at a Little Chef for second breakfast (well we were hungry Hobbits) the weather caught up with us and it was a steady downpour as we crawled back into Gimpsville, stopping briefly to pick up the hell hound (who the Kraken was looking after just in case that there was a repeat of last week’s debacle) we headed the last stretch with a hell hound going mental as he was really happy to see the youngest, the wife was working up a head of steam as she thought she was going to have parking issues (don’t ask, we could live miles from anybody and she would still get annoyed bless her…………..it’s good she has a hobby so to speak!) thankfully there was a spot and we gratefully retreated indoors before the snow arrived!

As it happens the snow kept falling, I took great pleasure in resumption of my kitchen duties and cooked for the family, and yes still it snowed then just as we were getting ready to snooze (I mean watch TV) the was a knock at the door (ok it was the doorbell, but the doorbell ringing just wasn’t as dramatic as it needed to be) it was keeper of the royal hounds and his good lady wife what a surprise, the whole of Gimpsville covered in snow and they had travelled all the way from sunny Shields to see “real snow” a wonderful surprise as we don’t get many visitors (let’s be honest who the hell visits Gimpsville especially in winter) as always with any visit it was over way too soon and they had to fight their way back to the land of the living (well sort of). Sunday was exactly what a Sunday should be, nice and quiet Monday was a return to work with some worrying problems, my new tablets were stating to give my kidneys problems and I was considering to stop taking them, then the flood gates opened quite literally, damn I had to be quick and there was (and as I type) still a few issues, tablets stopped being taken unfortunately I was told that wasn’t going to be the answer as it would take roughly the same length of time to flush them out of my system (damn that’s nearly ten days, I’m on day eight as I sit here) Tuesday was even worse, not funny and then there was the burning as well, I’m a bloke I’m crap at being poorly the wife was as always an angel of devotion (at least she didn’t say suck it up buttercup)I struggled on and at times I felt I was stuck in a pension queue at the post office, once home I tended to crawl into my spot on the settee, just me and the wife (as the youngest had been dragged off to the Kraken’s Lair) we were watching a programme (I can’t even remember what now) and it was describing the effects of PTSD, and wallop I was blindsided, thankfully it didn’t last long, I was more than impressed in how I dealt with the attack, the wife helped, but the black cloud ran away with its tail tucked between its legs, that’s a good sign although at the time it wasn’t.

The week progressed with major fallouts and an attempt on the Krakens life, I won’t be going into details simply because I wasn’t at either incident mind you if I had been for the falling out, I do believe the police might have been called to cart me off, I’m not a happy bunny some people (including Family) are a waste of skin. The week crawled towards the weekend not before the pit stop at the quacks, only for him to tell me that my heart is fine (WTF) and I’m doing all the good things for my other problem and to keep it up. Friday arrived and I came home as the wife went out to work I didn’t even turn on any electrical device I simply sat in the dark and brooded, again it wasn’t all good but it did get better, thankfully by the time the wife got home I had put the side lights on and was at least “cheery” I think it was the continuous running backwards and forwards to the loo that had me down, but the new me dusted myself off and I got on with it and I didn’t mind not being connected to that other world you know “the internet”!

Saturday came and I was duty dog again and it was funny watching people who didn’t get the bus go pale when they realise how much it is to get “public transport” ah well I hope you enjoy your Christmas parties later on in the day, I didn’t attend mine although I have been on an upward turn I still wasn’t anywhere ready for some social interaction, I was a good boy and came home and enjoyed an evening of Queen taped on the Sky box from the previous evening, and if you don’t mind me saying it was ………………………………………..AWESOME!

Saturday night we also had the Hurricane who was as always a handful (girls are so much easier to deal with) Sunday has been more of the same and at the moment we are getting our gear on to try and put some that’s crossed with a mink (vicious little critters) and a Tasmanian devil, and that’s just to get him up the stairs, I’m sure it will all work out in the end. Back to work for a short week in the run towards Christmas, the last shift being a duty dog shift the rota always goes pear shaped at the end of the year although the wife was on time at the end of the shift well I say on time for her 40 minutes isn’t too bad, according to her she can do no wrong, well would can I say to that well I can think of a few things but surely they are not printable in a family blog (WTF) Christmas came and went with hardly any issues, the dinner I cooked was nice and on time just like the Kraken who didn’t stay too long, Santa wasn’t kind because I’m told I’m too old for that shit, although I did manage to get myself some CD’s ( an Al Di Meola box set, a couple of Supertramp classics a Black Sabbath album that I didn’t have a bought copy of, all classics) now I just have to get through my holiday and go back to work (I’m dreading what I have to go back to but hopefully it will keep my brain occupied) just the wife swearing at technology (and she is our geek squad) if I put a swear box in the living room she would be owing the box a few million pounds I kid you not!

So there you go the last blog of the year, I intend for them to be written by a happier (fingers crossed) person in the new year and my intention is to post 52 blogs next year, some may be small but they will be posted whether I like it or not, misery will not be allowed to have company, life’s too short and I don’t want the few friends and readers that I have to get the idea that I’m an old misery (old yes misery no). Times have been crap and hopefully this year we might (although I gave up holding my breath years ago) just get some good times, I’m sure there will be tears after what’s gone before us but hopefully less and less and a stronger stride in our pace as we take on life at its own game, I’m not asking for much, just a little sunshine to peak out from behind the clouds every now and again, so until the new year keep spreading the disease (I really do mean word) watch the skies for incoming I wish you and yours all the best and a fabulous new year until then……Toodles!


Oi life come and get me ya Bastard, I’m ready and waiting for Ya!