On the Road Again.

So finally, something that has happened to us socially, now not historically, I’m not sure if I remember how to one of those!

So we were both happy we had booked a little jaunt away from home just the two of us, no Kraken, no kids and no pooch, just some us time, we were off to a little place outside of Richmond for the end  of March, then Co vid hit and the world turned upside down, our date got moved to October, we started counting the days, finally it arrived thank god for that, here is brief description of the mischief we didn’t get up to!

Work had been crap, actually it hadn’t it’s just that I had been poorly and I was easily worn out, I had a week of leave booked and a phone call with the Dr who kind of talked me out of being poorly and I kind of agreed with him, I didn’t fancy a camera being invasive front or rear, so I kind of was like a noddy dog, “but if it flares up again come and see me” er…..OK! Monday afternoon guess what happens, yes you guessed it I was sick as a dog and was as weak as a kitten, this could only get better…...Not!

But as the week cracked on we were getting all excited, could this actually happen, we didn’t pack until the Thursday just in case there was another lockdown, Friday we awoke and checked what we had packed and had a number of cunning plans, my sickness came and went, however my wind from both ends didn’t it’s awful, I was definitely the walking wounded, it seems to be a common thread maybe I simply shouldn’t plan holidays! Thankfully as the day went on, I perked up (even just so slightly) we couldn’t get there before a certain time, so we took our own sweet time, I had to call into work to drop off my laptop and phone so we could transfer to the new company after the weekend.

Off to M&S to buy supplies nothing fancy, some food and some nibbles and then some magazines, Classic Rock and Fireworks, I couldn’t find Rock Candy (maybe tomorrow) there was a brief moment (not) of panic when I had thought I had lost my phone, actually I didn’t really care one small jot, it was found once we got back to the car, panic over well I suppose it would have been if I had actually panicked, we took a slow drive to our destination (Flowery Dell Google it, its lovely) we did a socially distanced booking in and then on to our little palace for the weekend, the cabin was lovely we chilled and checked it out, we were set to chill, the weather had been good all the way there, but there was a black cloud on the horizon and for once it wasn’t me…….Ooops!

It started to drizzle as we closed the curtains for the night and we socially distanced on separate couches as my arse was like a ragged royal salute every other ten minutes, it wasn’t  funny and no I don’t do it on purpose, contrary to popular perception, a great night and then we were off to the land of nod, no wooden hill to climb, I was asleep in record time (even for me) of course I was up again at a ridiculously late time of six o’clock, which for me is late….Honest! I was washed out, my get up and go had got up and buggered off in the night, it was still dark, so no wildlife straight away, but there was plenty of bird life throughout the course of the day and a squirrel me and the wife named Sammy, a small breakfast (toast) and I got the heating on as it was a tad nippy, once the place was up to temperature it stayed warm, but first thing was just s tad nippy even for me.

I did a bit of a tidy up not that it needed it, and then broke out the MP 3 player (before it died about 12 songs in (grrr) the rest of the day was actually me sleeping for large portions of it, not what I had intended but the wife was more than happy, so no complaints from me except it rained and rained it was a total deluge, so it was a good job that we intended to stay in all day, we lazed, nibbled on our supplies, watched some DVDs ate some more nibbles and generally chilled a great day was had by all, including Sammy, it would have been great if I hadn’t been as weak as a kitten, the squirrel could have beaten me up!

Again I was up even earlier on the Sunday, again a small breakfast a quick bath and we packed, the weekend was nearly over we just had the ride home, so we watched Sammy running himself ragged, we left just before our allotted time, another call into M&S on the way home as we had forgotten the main reason we had called in on Friday in our keenness to get away with our nibbles, my main complaint about the weekend was I could have powered the nation with all of the wind from me, believe me it was horrible. The ride home wasn’t bad the weather had come out again but again I wasn’t strong enough to complain, we got home just as the rain arrived, we again just chilled I made a late lunch I even snatched an afternoon snooze, some of you might think how bloody boring, actually it was just what we both needed.

Back to work the next morning the good vibe soon disappeared, but it was good while it lasted, I looked to see if I could book it again next year for the summer it was booked solid, damn and blast maybe we will have a look for a new place, that’s if I last that long, I had another conversation with the doctor and he has made me stop my medication (well some of it) and he is going to organise a camera and the crew, so deep joy, I’m having good days and bad thankfully they are in equal measures, I’m sure it’s something innocuous, but I am not dismissing anything till everything has been done.

The handover at work went quite smoothly, it’s not the job that’s wearing me out, it’s me I need to perk myself up, I don’t want the new company thinking I’m some kind of Leper, and there you have the blog, not a historical one, not one where I have been whinging (well not much) and although we didn’t really social interact with anybody we got out and did something different! With this blog we are into single figures before the change, the next one will be a little late simply because of my shift pattern (something I could whinge about …. but I won’t for once) so watch the skies for incoming , remember to stay safe and until the next one …..Toodles!

Passing Strangers

I have went off down another rabbit hole, what with all the social distancing and Co Vid rules, my head has been battered with the changing of rules almost on a daily basis, I work in area with a lot of public walking through on a daily basis, but just because my head has been battered doesn’t mean to say that I can’t have a thought that takes me off on a different tangent, nothing to do with Co Vid, but all to do with my own personal social distancing!

It’s true that we are all born alone we also die alone, I can remember when I first heard that, and it has stuck with me all of my life, I do have friends but I kind struggle to be friendly at times, I’m not totally user friendly, I am a lot better than I used to be, a certain lady (and she is a lady) used to go out of her way to make sure that I was included, not that I ever wasn’t, but I have a tendency to hang out there on the perimeter, it’s easier, I don’t have to make decisions, but I have been universally accepted by a wonderful group of people (you all know you are) I can just go with the flow, I have always had a close group of friends or so I thought, but in all honesty it’s the people who I been friends with over the last thirty years that are nearest  and dearest!

I had a small group of friends at school in Gimpsville, with a couple of local friends who I didn’t go to school with, but I would say that they were friends, of course you leave school and then the group shrinks, not because you don’t like them or they don’t like you (I surely hope not) and then you have a really close group, then you move out of Gimpsville and move back, you still keep those friends but it’s not like now when everyone has a mobile phone, its took effort, jaunts back and forth, making the effort to keep to the arrangements worked out, but looking back I realised that it was me doing all of the running, it didn’t get returned to the same degree, that’s fine these are your oldest friends, you move away again and then it gets really strung out, I get it people have lives and things happen it’s not like I didn’t try, I don’t feel guilty I know I did my best!

Then over the years I made new friends, friends who took me for who I am, not what I could do for them, they took me at face value, most of them were a couple of years younger than me but we loved music, going out having a great time and I was welcomed with open arms, to my knowledge I never pissed off anybody and never had a major falling out, I made a lot of new friends with my wife’s friends and the same thing happened they took me in with open arms is this how life is supposed to happen, I never knew!

What happened to my old friends, well I eventually moved back to Gimpsville and with the exception of one of my friends (to be honest my original best friend) I have had next to no contact with any of them if I bump in to them in the street we exchange pleasantries but that’s it, at least one has died, and again I get it I moved away, although I did come back often, were the rest of them really my friends or were we simply passing strangers, with similar likes, in this modern technological age I don’t even have a mobile for them, a couple reached out on Farcebook but other than that initial outreach, nothing! its makes me sad, sad for those long gone days of drinking and chasing around town in cars and on motorbikes, music and girls being the order of the day, I’m not expecting those days to be relived I just thought that we would have a better relationship than we do.

What started me off on this particular rabbit hole, I was stood at my front door trying to get a decent signal on  my works phone (Apple pfft) when I saw said best friend walk past and he didn’t even give the house even a cursory glance, he’s been inside these doors, if I go past someone’s house that I know I always look so that if necessary I can give them a wave to acknowledge them as being part of my life, even if just a little part no matter how long ago, damn I’m starting to sound like a hippy, but in many ways I wish I had never returned to my hometown, I could at least live with the good times that we had all  those years ago, are we still friends yes I would say that we are, but after all these years when they know where I am, I simply don’t wish to offer the hand of friendship for it to be ignored just because they have moved on.

My new friends, well we have hardly seen anybody this year simply because of Co Vid, the last few years have been hard simply because of my wife’s previous employer making it hard for her to have a social life, again because of the weird short shifts, hopefully when all of this craziness is over that will improve, we can but hope! I don’t want anybody to think that this is a “oh woe is me type of blog” I simply have a fractured understanding of family and friendship, that’s my bad, life is as good as it can be, a true lady taught me that (when she is reading this she will be wanting to stab me, see I do miss you and the welder) take life with two hands and shake out of it what you can, I intend to keep doing that, I intend when we go drinking in the town and catching up with them to laugh, cry, joke, talk music and generally do what friends do, damn I miss it a lot who knew I would get attached to people, I blame the wife as she could make friends in an empty room!

So where am I at in life, I would say mid-stream (that doesn’t sound very good I know) and as always simply trying to go with the flow, this current fiasco will be over at some point, and we can resume some semblance of life, I’m sure that’s what we all want, if you are a new friend (30 years and counting) I miss you all and yes I intend to bore the pants of you soon enough, if you are an old friend (50 years or more) come and say hello be it on Farcebook or in the real world I don’t bite (well not anymore) life is too short to worry about any of this, I’m a friend for life, if I was a friend at school I’m still a friend now, I’m not after anything than to know that you are all alright!

So, there you go on this crazy countdown towards 500 continues, I’m getting all of my inner hippy out now so it doesn’t impact on the new version of the blog, I want it to have just a little bite! So, watch the skies for incoming there will be another one just around the corner, until then keep spreading the word, like share do what you do because the numbers have been good, until the next time………...Toodles!

Box in my Head.

So once again I’m late again, simply because I disappeared down rabbit holes, (me with my reputation) sorting ideas and trying to formulate a winning formula, so I gave my head a shake, and simply did what I do best, simply write what I do best, from the heart!

My head feels as though its full of boxes, with stuff carefully stacked  inside, although at times it feels like its simply overflowing, if you have seen the dodgy Stephen king adaptation of Dreamcatcher, it works as a book, but is spoilt as a film although the scene where one of the characters is trying to protect his memories from the (surprise) alien monster! Well that’s what my head is like (isn’t it Jonesy?) and that’s just in my waking moments!

I have been having surreal cinemascope technicolour dreams, something I haven’t had in a number of years, from the age of 17 through to the age of 53 I simply relived the bloody incident that happened when I was in the army, it haunted me, same six minutes over and over again waking and asleep all day every day, no wonder at times I was a headcase, then I did a CBT course (please see the older blogs) then all of a sudden something clicked, the course did what it was supposed to, it actually helped, no  I wasn’t fixed 100% but I am better so much better, don’t believe me ask the wife, but then it was like the dam broke and I started having really vivid dreams and usually with people who I know, in settings that are familiar but slightly off!

Now don’t panic there is nothing overtly sexual in anyway, they are always slightly twin peaks kind of style, some of these people are people who I haven’t seen in over 25 years, sometimes simply weird and slightly psychedelic, I mean last night I shot someone because there was three of us and we only had a two set sports car (and I really like the person who I shot damn I was mortified) and when I tried to get rid of the body it simply turned into a farce of carry on proportions, what the hell was  that all about, and then my old boss who I haven’t seen in over seven years was telling where I was going wrong and how he would do it. Then I went back to work and everybody knew I had killed someone, but they carried on as if it was something that I did in a regular sort of way am I my works Dexter?

What freaks me out is that they are so real that they are with me when I wake up, then its like someone pulls the plug like a bath it fades away down a plug hole and I simply can’t remember a damn thing, I only remember my dream from last night because I wrote it down as soon as I awoke this  morning. I panic that I have the start of Alzheimer’s simply because they fade so quickly, now I know that dreams are supposed to do that but sometimes its freaky.

Is it because I am not used to dreaming, maybe I need a dream doctor, I mean I sleep fine these days (that’s if 5 hours a night is fine) sometimes they are exhausting, like running a marathon and never getting to the finish line, I mean it’s there I just never get any closer to getting over the damn thing,  no I don’t want to go back to what I had before, but I simply awake confused and sometimes ever so dazed! Its no good for a man of my age, god I feel old.

A short and slightly weird one this time around, but I felt inclined to get it out there, and maybe the one I had planned will be up next, I am off this week with hopefully a trip away  at the end of it, I need a break, work has got me literally on my knees I am mentally and physically shattered, it’s a long time since I have felt like this, so there’s the blog, enjoy the week and watch the skies for incoming, you never know I might get the urge to write again and again and well you get the picture so until the next time you know what I am going to say, take care and stay alive but until then………………Toodles!  

A Day Late and a Dollar Short.

After the explosion of writing that I did for the previous three blogs I knew it was going to be a difficult follow up and it kind of has been, every time I have been going to knuckle down and do some writing other things crept in, work, work and then more work, oh and the odd diabetic coma, that kind of helps, let’s just say that things have been just a tad hectic. That’s not to say that I didn’t have thoughts on a new blog to be honest I simply haven’t had the time to let it stew, so to speak!

The last three blogs did good to respectable numbers and comments were on the pleasant side, apart from the odd grumble about the name of the game blog, I can’t please everyone can I, some whinge when they don’t get the name game and some whinge because they think that name game shouldn’t need to be explained, get a life its meant to be fun and not taken seriously, just because I’m sad enough to use song titles 95% of the time (like today) doesn’t mean anybody needs to guess it right, I mean the last one and this one are I think just a tad obscure, and nobody got the last one at all, so boo hoo!

I had a few concerned messages about the coming changes for the blog, peeps who have come to it late in the day, but are enjoying it, yes I’m sorry its going to change it has to change for the sake of my sanity, I need to bring some structure to the blog and to give myself some kind of timed structure rather than just blather on and on like I seem to be doing here, you never know you might like the changes I have planned, then again you might not, but as I have said in previous blogs I write these for me, the fact someone takes the time to read is simply a bonus as far as I am concerned.

I have also been asked if there is going to be anymore “Now Hear This” (forever known now as NHT blogs) blogs, yes there will be one more and yes if you have questions send them in, now is the time as I compile them, I do have a list although not exactly complete, some are simply repeats from previous NHT blogs or a simple variation, I’m less inclined to use them, it depends on the quality of the questions sent in,  but to answer the question there will be one more, blog number 499 if everything goes to plan, and we all know that that rarely happens, and please stop asking questions about the “girls” blog all the info that I am willing to discuss is in there, I have no intention of going over that blog ever again, I did it, I finished it, I posted it, I even answered queries about it, move along there  is nothing else to see!

I have some free days coming along and I feel the need to try and set out the blogs to come, I kind of know what the last two or three will be, but I feel that I need to have some kind of structure going forward so I don’t get distracted, (oh look a butterfly) so after today I intend to comb through all of my books and notes to see that I have not left any stone unturned, I want to make sure all the good ones (LOL) have indeed been written and posted, the new format will be vastly different with only the odd “social” blog thrown in for good measure, when and if we do  indeed regain a social life after these dark days! I’m not counting any chickens and I have everything crossed, let’s hope shall we.

Music has also been consuming me, but not as much as  I would like, time seems to slip away a lot quicker the older you get, and believe me I’m getting old, or is it just my body’s way saying that its going to fuck me up, it sure seems that way to me! Musically it’s been mainly new stuff (the new Fish album all three versions of it) the new BOC album and lots more, I got complete discographies of The Sweet and Budgie including live albums and compilations, so there’s a lot to go through not including the 16 gigabytes of MP3’s  I received of new various artists yesterday, I shall be a very busy boy in the coming weeks.

My health has not gotten any better, well it kind of does but then something else happens, it’s definitely my body’s way of saying sit down old man, I have had niggles since the beginning of  the year I can’t think of a day when I have felt 100% ok, there is always something underneath the veil of happiness that I try to project (sometimes badly) at the moment I have a couple of RS Injuries, my knees have been taking a beating, my belching and farting has quite literally come down to a dull roar, and I have an appointment with the quacks in a fortnights time, where it will be just about gone, he will say that’s it and say he is happy and I know that it will come back with a vengeance at some point (I went year a between episodes this time and its not nice) lets see what hideous test he has for me next, it has had me worn down, I really would like to get to the bottom of it.

My weight which is the crux of my many issues seems to have ground to a halt, my eating habits are nowhere near as bad as they have been, but there have still been random moments of binge eating strange combinations, thankfully I do seem to have a good team at work and in my family that can and do help me, they may not know it at the time but they are invaluable in pointing me in the right direction, I still have some blips along the road, life at the moment is so full of the unknown that’s its only natural that they happen, it’s how I negotiate around them and come through the other side as unscathed as possible, friends and family do indeed help!

SO, I feel as though I have done my bit, this blog may be a day late, but hopefully I hope somebody got some semblance of help from it (apart from me) I know a lot of you are going through strange and difficult times, lets not let this get us down, lets put one step in front of the other and get down the path in a strong and positive groove, and there you go another step to the final destination and yes simply to get you lot to stop asking I didn’t have a title for blog number 500, but I do now and I think some of you will get a chuckle from it, the next blog I promise will be on time and should be a historical (as opposed to a hysterical one) some of you have asked for blogs about certain bands, if I had any connection and for most of them I do, but I don’t feel as though not strong enough to do it justice in the form of a blog, there is one or two that may be interesting however it will depend on my mood on the day, sometimes they go down a rabbit hole and not all of them can be pleasant, bear with me and let’s see what transpires, they will definitely go into the mix for the final dozen or so blogs, once they pop up you might be happy, you might not be, there are some bands I feel like I have written enough on, some that I had indeed forgotten all about, lets see where the road leads us to?

So, watch the skies for incoming we are heading down the downward spiral (can I fit anymore song titles into one blog) the slippery slope towards blog number 500, the name game is In play lets see who gets this one, please stay safe and stay alive, you are here but once, don’t go out like a sputtering candle make sure that you go out like a rocket blazing across the stars, until the next time……………Toodles!

Moving on

So many of want to know the plans for the blog, because I keep saying  that its going to change and change it must, I am expecting a massive drop off from peeps who are reading now, but I do know some hardcore readers will indeed be still here as I kind of get a vibe as to why you are here.

Numbers have been great with a slight upward trend, not sure why, maybe I have simply hit my stride, I’m not sure but the upsurge is not enough for me to alter course and carry on, I do not wish for the blog to become stale, believe me after 485 of them it really is time to try something new, I have dabbled  on and off earlier in the blog, but after number 500 it will be become a permeant fixture!

Now no I am not giving up, it’s simply that the format is going to change, nothing dramatic, I intend to still be here however I intend to go to a monthly blog rather a weekly one and it will be something of a pure musical bent, there will the occasional detour, but rarely as I do wish to build the blog into something a little more “serious” please don’t panic at that word, it will all be revealed in due course and a collective sigh of relief will heard around the world.

By changing tack I’m hoping that this will refresh my writing and hopefully it might get people a little more invested, trust me I am working at full speed ahead for the changes, these things don’t just happen overnight I am practising what I need to do and yes some will be rejected, the reason why the blog is going monthly because it will take roughly a month to do all of the leg work, again  its for my sanity that I do this, and I for one am looking forward to the change.

The blog originally started off with being a ranty old man, then moved onto a social commentary type of thing but with the social life having dried up (remember those) there was little to mock, I mean write about, so I then went off on a voyage of discovery, I mean I waffled a lot, its time to come back into focus and do something that’s not simply frivolous, I do  not wish to become a one trick pony, I wish to add strings to my writing bow (as always the original planning of writing original stories is there, but I don’t have an editor, so I have thrown the anchors on that for a while, although as always I am compiling nuggets for a later date) this is simply just another step (hopefully) in the right direction.

To be honest I don’t want people to think that all I will do is whinge, I need a change and the fact that I have made a determined point in the distance, is simply the best for everybody, so what are the changes,  well I believe I have told you even though it is simply broad strokes (as always read between the bloody lines, lets see who is clever enough to work it out) if you can’t work it out well you only have around 16 weeks to wait, I  know the suspense…………isn’t there!

So the third blog in a week all neatly typed and hot to trot over the course of three days, but will be posted over about 10 days these won’t do as much as the last ones simply because I intend to post them quite quickly they may bleed into the numbers of the coming months, we shall see (intruder has had 93 readings in the last 10 weeks so there’s hope for some of the others) this is not the shortest blog by any stretch of the imagination, but it is the shortest in the last few weeks.

Now that’s the end of that one I need to see what spinning plate to select next, we are now  in the final stretch so to speak and I only want to pick the best ideas so that this portion of the blog ends with a bang and not a whimper, so watch the skies for incoming, please stay safe and stay alive, there will be more news leaching through in the coming weeks but until then………..Toodles!

And yes the name game is in play!