Brother 52

So, as the year draws to a close and as always at this time of year my issues have played havoc with me and my brain (only due to tiredness and nothing to worry yourselves about) , thankfully the family have been great and have given my head a bloody good shake.

The year has generally been one of my most positive years, I have had my ups and downs but as a rule I would say 90% of the time I have been up! hopefully going forward things can stay positive in the new year ( I bet it all goes horribly wrong once I have completed writing this) and blog wise there should be more historical items coming down the track.

Negativity disappeared after my small little rant (see previous blog) and the numbers were quite stable given the nature  of my rant, numbers are in the ascendancy with over 38000 for the year, you think that I would be happy, and I suppose that I am, but you always want it to do better,  some have done well some have done even better and some have traipsed behind like the lost children that they are, but with an average 730 hits per blog this year I seem to be doing something right, the problem is I have no idea how that happens and I have no idea at how to improve what I’m doing (no I’m not looking for any tips it is what it is and I’m more than happy with what’s happening, as I have said in the past I’m a technophobe living in a modern age).

The name game still has its fans and if I’m honest it’s an easy way to get a head start and I like doing it, although I think these days when Nils gives me a wrong answer I’m sure he’s doing it to cheer me up. The landscape has changed over the last couple of years with the countries who are reading the blog and are not natural English speaking (however their written English is excellent……...much better than mine) some of the responses are lovely!

I have been receiving questions for the next “Now Hear This” blog, I have no problems with this however it is around a year and a bit away so try and keep your powder dry, I will stock pile the best questions so fear not fire them in when you can. Potentially blog number 500 is still online to be the last one, unless something else crops up, huge explosion of inspiration or some such thing, I honestly can’t see it progressing from there, I would like it to end on a high, and by then I have a sneaking feeling I will have said just about everything in my addled brain! If I thought I had anything interesting to say I would continue but even I know when the well is going to dry up!

I have plenty of ideas I’m just not sure that the way that I am saying it is not going stale, I’m sure that some of you will tell me one way or another and it is quite a way off (we are potentially looking at 2021) I intend to keep to 52 a year if I can and you know I have a tendency to move the goalposts when I want, why? Simply because I can!

Before anybody gets on my case “The Whalers Dues” is a true blog I just want to make sure that it is the best piece that I can write no matter when I finally do release it , a lot of people will be disappointed, some might find it humorous and some might simply enjoy the bile, it’s been so long gestating that I feel it might also be a damp squid, I had so many great thoughts whilst it formulated I simply did not want to lose it to the ether, its simply too good an idea to waste!

So that’s the end of year blog, I will see you all in the New Year with new ideas and some great blogs enjoy the holiday season enjoy the company of your loved ones, pets and anybody that I have missed, as always keep spreading the disease and watch the skies for incoming until then ……..

Toodles!

Still got the blues

So, the year is drawing to a close and the blog is slowing down for the end of year, my intention was to ensure that we averaged 52 blogs over the course of the year this is number 51 the end of year blog will be 52.

All was well in blog land until the last blog, I was relatively content with what I had produced , as well as I can be that is, and the blog did reasonable numbers actually it’s in the top three for the year (numbers wise) however I received a few negative comments, from people who were unhappy with the historical content, it would appear that one or two people (ok it’s 4) are only happy when I’m miserable, me with my reputation! No names but they were unhappy that (gasp shock horror) that I had consistently been writing happy blogs.

Now that is not my intention…………………..hang on a second , I don’t write the blogs for you lot, I write them for me and I write what’s in my head at the time (hence this rant….incoming)  I admit at times I can write some dark stuff, but that’s not the intention now or at any given time, having said that, if the only reason that  you read the blog is to laugh at the clinically depressed person writing them, then you really are a sad individual.

Now this is not going to be a personal rant at these individuals (I’ve learnt my lesson with that particular issue) if you do not like what I’m writing then all I can say is please don’t read them (see I’m being polite) there is enough crap in the world without feeding off someone’s misery, am I really that miserable (answers on a post card to FOAD .com) my intention is to write something I’m happy with.

The fact that four individuals are only happy when I’m unhappy says an awful lot about the state of some people’s minds, the fact that you write such negative bile to inform me that you are unhappy with what I am writing really is mind boggling, just for the record I intend to write nothing but sunshine and rainbows from now on positivity is the keyword, watch this space boys and girls.

Other than that, there’s not a lot going on, I have mainly been concentrating on work, and the health of the wife which has been flagging just a little. The fat man’s (that’s Santa and not me) visit is just around the corner so I need to gather my thoughts for the coming end of year blog and I need to list all things positive (hahaha it might be a short blog) and what to expect in the coming year “The Whalers Dues” is definitely going to have to wait, simply because even with all the polishing that has gone with that particular blog, there is simply too much bile and unhappiness to post for all of the doom mongers, I am trying to actually make it as positive as possible however just when I think I have turned the corner to positivity, it slides back towards darkness, and that is exactly not what I want to post.

I hope all of the readers (five of you lol) have a great Christmas and I can only say thank you to all of you who read this on a regular basis so many times so……. THANK YOU! Keep spreading the disease and watching the skies for incoming, the blog survives because of you lot (good or bad)  so until the end of the year……………………………..Toodles!

All Systems Go

I was a normal teenager I liked music, drink and then girls in that order, music and drink at the same time were pretty much high on the list, not many bands came to Gimpsville so we normally had to travel to see even local bands!

I had seen a few, many lost back in the mists of time, Wet Dream (I wasn’t old enough to get in so I stood outside The Mount to listen), Fallen Angel and New Disease to name but a few, I liked local bands, I supported them as often as possible, I loved pubs as well, I supported them every single day, I had to it was my god given duty!

To be honest with little else to do pubs were a great source of comfort either with company or not, although I tended to get insular (hammered) if I went drinking on my own, as I tended not to gravitate towards company, just the bar! One day in 1982 I was invited to go and join a cunning plan to see the mighty Hellanbach, playing in Gimpsville, was I up for it hell yeah I was.

It was a mid-week gig (a Thursday if my memory serves  me right) and it was at the Masons a great pub that has gone to waste, one of best music venues in the area and the owner does nothing to it, how the band managed to get the gig in there I have no idea, but it was my focal point to get me through the coming weeks, I had to go there as I had  not a lot going on, Big G told me where to be and when, it was a plan, I then had a really bad episode so disappeared off the face of the world for a few days, when I resurfaced, I had cut off all of my hair and was not in a good place.

Thankfully Big G was just the right medicine for this world-weary gutter snap, I was given instructions to grow up and buckle up, I was told to stop drinking as it would kill me, “erm is that a clown’s nose you are snorting shorts from”? “This isn’t about me come on man up”! and with that we disappeared into the night arriving at the venue just in time for the crowds to appear ok maybe about 30 people but not a bad crowd for Gimpsville somebody who I didn’t know asked if I was a member of the road crew, allegedly a crew cut and a combat jacket is what it takes!

Much merriment ensued with Big G snorting so many shorts out of that clown’s nose I got drunk just watching him, I had one or two pints (cough splutter) and then enjoyed a great gig from one of the better local bands, do I remember the intimate details of the gig hell no I was shitfaced and I know I slept behind Helen’s Cash Stores ( a local landmark from back in the day) a mere 400 yards from my mother’s house as I was so emotionally tired (ok I was as pissed as a rat) I know my intention to sit and look cool as the band played lasted all of about two songs, what the band thought of the lunatic with a crew cut and a combat jacket on headbanging along to all of their hits was doing I have no idea whatsoever!

Although I saw many more bands in Gimpsville nothing ever matched that gig just for the sheer power and spectacle, me and Big G might have been slightly intoxicated but we knew how to enjoy bands local  or national, the fact that the gig is still in my top ten gigs speaks volumes, I suppose the moral of this blog is get out and enjoy music be it local or national level groups, it sooths the savage beast, I still enjoy the power that music brings, I still like a drink (I’m old I probably drink in a year what I used to drink in a night go figure) and I’m still married so I must still enjoy the company of girls, well the wife I don’t want her to get any ideas that I’m a bad person I am most definitely a one girl guy (one crazy Pyscho bitch from hell is enough………..but she is my crazy Pyscho bitch from hell) .

So there you go I hope you enjoyed keep spreading the disease until the next time keep watching the skies for incoming until then ………..Toodles!

Crank it up

A long, long time ago I remember The Rods being played on the Friday rock show (Yes I know a radio show, how old am I?) and simply being blown away by them, then I found out that they were a three piece and I simply couldn’t believe the power that they put out, it was like an atom bomb going off instead of a hand grenade.

I managed to talk my brother into buying it, a bit of reverse psychology saying that he wouldn’t like it, he bought it as an import and I waited until he went out and I taped it(oops) I liked it so much I taped on both sides of the cassette so I could play it back to back on whatever journey I was on, boy did I love that album, I then discovered that they were supporting Iron Maiden and myself and Big G decided that we should make a trip to see them, tickets purchased for the Number of the Beast tour, we knew this was going to be fun with a capital F! although I was working a menial job, I knew I wasn’t going to be allowed a holiday as the guy hated me and all long haired youths with a passion so on the day I was (cough cough) not well enough to go juggling chainsaws (I was working for the NCB at the time) so I had to blow the shift.

So off we went to the big city (OK so it’s a small pit village in the north east compared to some cities but at the time to us Yokels from Gimpsville we thought it was big……...what did we know)  as The Rods were doing a couple of meet and greets (Virgin and Volume or listen ear or whatever it was called at the time…..it was a long time ago…I’m old!) in Newcastle and Durham, they hadn’t been very well organised and there was only a slack handful of us, they were great and a number of photos are out there with me and a few other’s (I’m sure that’s where I met Nev and Marty for the first time) a good time was had by all and then me and Big G discovered they were doing another meet and greet at another location (mentioned earlier, come on keep up) and there was less people there but they were happy to see us and again it was more joyful times.

They disappeared off too Durham for a third meet and greet but we sloped off to the pub, these meet and greets take it out of you, we mooched about until the time of the gig not wanting to miss the band only to find that the doors were chained shut as Iron Maiden were shooting the video for The Number of The Beast so it kind of over ran , we finally got in with G carrying a huge bag that had a rather large tape deck well they were large back in the day, The Rods hit the stage and literally ripped the city hall a brand new arse. Iron Maiden came on after and were bloody good, but they simply weren’t a match for the Rods.

Later that year they released the Wild dog’s album and when it came out and they did announce a couple of gigs but as much as I tried to get to a gig life seemed to bite me in the arse on a regular basis, it was simply work, work, and then some more work on top of it. More albums of declining quality and less UK tour dates the world kept moving and life simply got on with it. Although I did play the debut album on a regular basis and Wild dogs from time to time it was generally with a slight whiff of nostalgia, they were indeed great times.

Leap forward quite a few years and it would appear that The Rods are going to be playing Newcastle supporting Dio’s Disciples (I think it was I didn’t stay to watch the whole show as we all recreated the photograph of some thirty years earlier (with only Nev Looking as young as he was back in the day and yes he was wearing the same bloody Rods T shirt that he had worn back in the day!). The band again were as tight as they had been 30 odd years earlier, now I understand why they didn’t become as big as what they should have been, but I don’t know anybody who saw the band who didn’t fall in love with them live they were smoking hot, as it happens me and mrs were making a weekend of it as we were booked into the Vermont Hotel in Newcastle we had been tipped off that whitesnake were staying there and we enjoyed the company of the band and road crew, ( thanks SMOR) we even swapped rooms with Mr Aldrich because our room had WI fi and his didn’t.

Good times and friendships were struck with Brian Tichy putting us on the guest list to seem him playing Vamped in Las Vegas with Sass Jordan a couple of years later, on the night of the Rods we ran out of the stage door with the whitesnake members into a taxi back to the hotel, we lived the rock star life style for all of 30 seconds, it was fun while it lasted.

The moral of the tale would I go and see the Rods again, hell yeah although I would go on an empty stomach, the last time we saw them it was the beginning of my ails of woe with my health and literally anything I ate no matter how light developed into toxic gas of atomic levels , I’m hoping that’s the reason  that they haven’t been back, And not because I gassed the rhythm section after the gig, Gary Bordanaro’s face was a picture ha-ha that’s the breaks allegedly!

So, another hysterical I mean historical blog the last one did good numbers out the doors, and now I have done another rambling epic quite soon after, they are a little like buses they do come in quick succession, a lot of good comments after the last one hopefully with me getting back on the saddle for writing, keep them coming, so keep spreading the disease, watch the skies for incoming, until the next time…….Toodles!

What You Don't Know!

So, at long last a historical blog, that covers an era not in huge detail, just enough to wet your appetite for the few more that will be coming down the track.

I seem to remember reading Sounds on a weekly basis and I remember an article that grabbed my attention, Gary Bushell had set off to the USA and was doing a series of articles on bands over there, one that took my interest was a band out in New York called Twisted Sister, not long after that an EP appeared, now that did float my boat (although my girlfriend at the time “M” borrowed it and never returned it ), then there was a night in Newcastle and a trip to see the Tube being filmed, I was a tad drunk (me with my reputation) so I decided to avoid the melee down the front, then it felt that I had been slapped in the face and I sobered up as Twisted Sister took to the stage in all their glory!

I was hooked from the word get go ( go on YouTube and hunt it out it is simply stunning)the next day I went hunting the album, which I loved also, then I got on with my life with all the ups and downs that went with it, I came home for a visit and a friend said that he had bought me a ticket to see them at the Mayfair, oh yes please I will have some of that, then as if by magic they appeared on the TV doing their new single “I am I’m me”, and it was like Christmas all over again, I couldn’t wait , April 15^th came around soon enough me and my mad bunch of sober (not) friends went and had a fantastic time, lots of jumping around and having fun, they threw in a couple of covers, Rolling Stones and Slade a jolly time was had by all, you really couldn’t stop rock n roll.

I attempted to and failed miserably to see them on a couple of other dates, so I once again got on with my life, as did they, I suspect they missed me as much as I missed them, I was over the moon when I discovered the fine folks of Gimpsville had organised a trip to see the return visit on the Stay Hungry tour (all of which I have described in graphic detail in a previous  earlier blog)  again lots of jolly japes and a fantastic night was had by all, I was the troupes acrobat and escapologist  for the evening, they were a tad more professional with barbed wire and no covers this time! then they kind of got huge and disappeared from my radar for a while, imagine my surprise as I walked into Newcastle’s HMV to see a huge display with Dee Snider coming out of a man hole (OOH Matron) and although I bought the album there were the early signs of weariness settling in.

It wasn’t until March 1986 that another tour was announced, well I say a tour I believe it was a single paltry date at the then Hammersmith Odeon, I was working in London at the time so I was able to blag a ticket, what I saw was a travesty, Dee Snider still working his arse off however the band it looked like that they were wheeled into place there was no spirit and so little movement a sniper could have picked them off in a heartbeat, the stage set was theatrical (don’t ask me I lost interest after about four songs The leader of the pack and the soppy ballad The price within those first four songs bar tender keep them coming and don’t spare the horses!) as hard as Dee worked the others simply didn’t want to be there, a friend who met them, asked  the question why no Newcastle date and JJ French replied “we don’t have the time” Dee was seen to be shaking his head in disappointment. I’m glad I went off and got drunk, as it was the day after was the day I woke up and realised I had to give my head a shake and get a grip, the following week I was sacked and then sued by my then publishing company (I have blogged in depth in past blogs or at least I think I have LOL my memories not what it used to be)

That was me really, I bought “Love is for suckers” which really was a Dee Solo album, in all but name, they didn’t tour with that album as far as I’m aware and life moved on at a pace, I got married had kids had no disposable income and the world kept turning they (the band ) had many ups and downs and  they did return to Newcastle,  although I never did go and see them, Dee Snider is a great showman however he cannot carry the rest of the band, who appear limp and disinterested alongside him, every video since 1986 just seems as though Dee is still on rocket fuel and the rest are on water, go figure! maybe it was my first flush of youth that excited me, those two Mayfair gigs are still in my top ten of gigs, they really were on fire in the early days.

Now to push this blog off into the ether lets see what happens with this one, it has been a long time gestating, I’m still not 100% happy with it, but I could only keep rewriting it so many times (154783 times so far…kidding) so watch the skies and keep spreading the disease another one will be along shortly but until then……………Toodles!

The Needle and the Damage Done.

Before I get any more complaints, I know its been a while, I have been busy……...ish, well in a kind of way life got the better of me and I kind of cooled my jets……just a little! As always thanks for the kind platitudes, but I’m not dead yet I just kind of came to a stop, you could say I kind of ran out of gas………...the wife wishes I did LOL!

Education has taken way too much out of me, love me I’m thick, but the recovery time has been longer than anticipated, the main reason why I hated the course was simply because the time I’m doing it nobody does my job, so there’s a lot to catch up with I know I have said this before, but hey I’m getting older I’m not as fit(fat) as I used to be!

Health has also been a factor and my ill health has been kicking my arse big style, no I’m not giving up but I have to concentrate and deal with my issues, I have to stop kidding myself that I can do this every other day, this is life threatening and I have to put my big boy pants on, suck it up buttercup and again this is not a “oh I’m not well” I’m not, however it’s my health, so it’s me that has to fix it.

I have also had to deal with the return of the vermin in my attic, more poison, more traps, they seem to raise their heads every 9 months or so,  I  have an older  neighbor who hasn’t done any maintenance to her house in a few years and she is not as blessed in the sight and sound department, I think I need to catch up with her sons when they turn up and tip them the wink, I also seem to have a small cousin of the attic vermin in my shed I shall be spending the rest of the day trying to deal with that, I will give it one chance to leave after that I am going to go all out killer on it.

I have still been writing working on bits and pieces, but pessimism has been the order of the day, but you never know when inspiration strikes and hopefully in the run in to the new year there should be some historic blogs on the way (incoming) I do feel as though that I’m back in the saddle in a writing kind  of way, I haven’t fallen out of love with writing, just crap keeps getting in the way, usually it’s me!

I had a strange day yesterday as G & E where having a weekend away, pubs and lifeboats being mentioned and G kept mentioning me (I’m hoping that he’s missing me……..sob, not as much as I miss them…….even bigger sob) stuff like that makes me miss the tee hee club, work conspires against us as the wife keeps been given shifts that mean we can’t visit like we used to (the wife is a bigger cripple than me and she cant do work and then party all night long like she used to, ok I mean have a couple of soft drinks) however we did get a lovely visit from part of the South Shields massive, boy did that help.

Tomorrow its yet again back to work back to the quacks, more needles and I now will have to take insulin in my fight for fitness, I know  in the end it’s a battle that we all lose, I however have no intention on being beaten on this, I’m no quitter and this is something I intend to fight long and hard to do my bit, I have seen too many friends suffer at the hands of ill health I do not intend to be one of them ( I know I’m a dumb ass as I’m already suffering however I do not wish to suffer any more than I am).

Life is still crap but it’s my life so why can’t I have some luck, not much, just a small amount, I still have to deal with an angry wife, I still suffer the consequences of stupidity every day when I go on Farcebook and when I deal with the people I have to deal with at work, I know its all about the grand tapestry of life, but I am just a tad worn down with some of the crap, hey ho I know I will just have to dust myself down and crack on.

Life does indeed go on and although I’m starting to feel like a human pin cushion, that’s diabetes for you, however there has been some extreme cunning plans being made in a major life changing way, nothing in a friend way but more in a family way (it’s all good…honest) something long term that will take huge amounts of planning and some money , there is a plan lets just see if it comes to fruition, so here’s the deal more blogs are coming, more historic ones are coming, I know, I know you have heard it all before but watch this space you may be pleasantly surprised.

What I have been doing over the weeks is reducing my social media foot print, not leaving what space I have, simply posting less and less, this is simply because of the amount of negativity that’s out there in the big bad world, this is further compounded by the negative effect on someone who I class as a friend and if we had made our acquaintance earlier in life I would like to think that  he would have been a much larger part in my life as he is such a huge source of inspiration, but some of the shit he has had to put up with from so called friends well, if that’s what you call friendship I want as little of it as possible, I do not understand the ethic that “if I’m unhappy I will make all around me unhappy” life’s too short and in the end we all have to return our library books intact, if you can make sure that you could improve someone’s life why don’t you try it, you never know you might like it!

So enough of me and my twittering sorry for the delay but normal service has been resumed watch the skies for incoming keep spreading the disease, be happy and try do good things for everyone, listen to me prattling like a 1960’s hippy until the next time …………………. Toodles

Oh and yes I have seen the queen movie, did I enjoy it I did, but for me there were too many simple mistakes that should have been avoided, no I’m not going to review, go see it, go enjoy it suspend your drab life for two and a half hours and enjoy some of the majesty that was Freddie Mercury!

Yesterday

Finally, a day off, some wonderful live Yes music to sooth the savage beast and an opportunity to actually complete a blog, not that I haven’t blogged in the interim I simply haven’t completed any to satisfaction!

I’m trying to complete a course that I have avoided for the last 7 years, now that I am over halfway through it, it doesn’t appear to be as bad as I thought it would be, it is still hard and I’m not saying that I am enjoying it, I can see the finish line, I simply hope that I actually pass the bloody thing, here’s hoping.

I had a couple of seriously black days during the last few weeks, I’m hoping that they were purely because of the increased workload, my overloaded little grey brain cells were not firing on all 6 cylinders, thankfully I am a lot better than I was, it would appear that I have shrugged off the blanket of darkness I had surrounded myself with, my fault nobody else’s I get these turns from time to time, I simply hadn’t foreseen this one or the level of unhappiness that came with it.

I blogged or at least attempted to, but again they were filled with dark thoughts and general unpleasantness and that’s not what the blog is meant to be, there are some small kernels of truth that I will expose and amplify in future blogs, not the bad stuff but hopefully some good things!

Some historical ones are definitely in the pipeline as well as “The Whalers Dues” which although I feel as though I have broken the back of I certainly haven’t finished………...yet! I intend to try and keep on a straight line until the end of the year and then some big decisions as to where I go from there, I understand that not everybody likes to read the mutterings of an unhappy 53-year-old! For once I will gratefully listen to suggestions as I repeat myself, I do not want this to grow stale.

This blog isn’t just for my consumption, but for it to grow and I do wish for it to be just a little successful, it has to improve, it has its moments, I wish for them to be more than just now and then. So that’s my agenda for the coming blogs, what have I been up to in the last few weeks well, simply in one-word work! I really do need to get a social life, I have missed some great nights out of late again me being a misery and financially holed below the water line hasn’t helped, but onwards I intend to try just a little bit more………honest!

The numbers have been really good when you consider how much previous work I have been publishing, some good comments as well, to the few who have whined, you didn’t buy the books when they were available so wind your necks in, the world keeps turning let’s hope the numbers keep on in the upward spiral that they have been, another reason to give my head a shake and improve the quality of the shite that I spew , I mean the quality blog that I produce….LOL!

So that’s this small missive complete, I do believe that the next blog could have something to do with Twisted Sister……maybes here’s hoping, I have started but I simply have to finish lets see what happens next, so watch the skies and prepare for incoming I feel the need to kick this up a notch, keep spreading the disease and until then………………..Toodles!

Holidays

As a kid we had holidays Scarbourgh a couple of times, Blackpool once and I was ill the whole time (with an ear infection that led to a perforated eardrum) and Dunbar in Scotland which although it was boring it was a great time the only real holiday were we interacted with the person who if memory serves me right was our dad, not that we did much apart play on a very long windswept beach looking for razor clams, hells bells even my brother was nice to me hahaha.

 The last holiday we did have was in Scarbourgh and there was a vibe from the beginning, which me and my brother didn’t pick up on, good god we were just kids going on holiday my dad didn’t want to pack the car there was an issue with “something” but my mum insisted and we set out at about 5 in the morning to drive there (this was the seventies) and we were normal kids with my dad insisting that if we didn’t calm down he would turn the car around, we were staying at a place called Strawberry Grove or so he said and we drove around Scarbourgh for what seemed ages and my mum was suspicious as he didn’t want to ask for directions, in the end my mum got him to pull over and she asked a policeman (yes they still walked the streets in those days) who after scratching his head admitted he had never heard of it although he was new to the area( some of the details were refreshed in my memory by my mum over the years hell I was just a kid) at this point my dad then said we might as well go home, it was then that I saw my mum lose her temper with my dad for the one and only time and boy did she have a go at him as we drove down the street she saw a boarding house that had vacancies “well if we can’t find the place you have booked we will stay here for the night at least” so this old lady showed us to the upstairs flat and we settled in, my parents to separate corners ready for the bell to ring when a mouse popped out of nowhere and broke the ice we all laughed and mum shrieked and we went for a walk around the streets taking in the sights, we had chips and candy floss my brother and me got on really well for this holiday and if truth be told this was the beginning of the end for my parents, things were strained but when you’re seven you don’t really notice I think my brother had and that’s why he was all of a sudden older but wiser and a proper brother, that first night we resolved to stay awake as long as possible, we stayed awake as long as the streetlights stayed on but we did indeed drift off , not before we talked of things that we had never talked about before and for that short time I realised what a big brother was for and I was a happy little camper for having a big brother although at the time I had no idea why?

We stayed at the flat for four days exploring the town and watched the battleships in Peasome Park, went on the boats and very nearly met my uncle Robson for the first time but my dad steered us clear for some reason, and then after four days mum’s courage had waned and she was quite happy to head home, which was probably because she knew that my dad had paid by cheque and it was bouncing all the way to the bank, things were strained all the way home and even I noticed, the relationship foundered a few weeks down the line and that set off many issues that even all this time down the line I still struggle with.

A few years later my Uncle took me Bridlington (my brother dodged that bullet) with his second wife and his son from his first marriage, the holiday was good but my cousin was weird and kept trying to freak me out on a night time it was the first time I ever used the F word I have to admit we didn’t really get on, but the holiday was a welcome distraction, but to be honest I wasn’t going to miss having a holiday! what you didn’t have you didn’t miss.

 I wasn’t to have another holiday for over fifteen years, when in a new relationship (with the wife) we organised a trip to Cyprus a holiday that was eventful because I actually became a proper adult and enjoyed a great time with the eldest as you should when on holidays. Apart from a fall where I tore a ligament in my foot (and no I wasn’t drunk) and the fact that we locked ourselves out of our hire car it was a low key holiday but once you have a holiday you soon realise what you are missing and from there on in I looked forward to our jaunts whether it was to Haggerston castle (a caravan park) or to the Med or Florida I always enjoyed spending time with the family (yes that’s right me with my reputation)  but what did become troublesome was when we started going with the Kraken she was and is a major pain when walking into an airport and on a plane, the actual holiday she is usually good company and chills like everybody else but those hours waiting for a plane or the actual flight itself erm no I think I would rather take an orbital sander to my genitals than go through that ever again (unless I could hire a private jet) that’s why I am so looking forward to our jaunt to Las Vegas this March great company and me and the wife where she can decompress away from all the grief that she has to put up with (say the word I will gladly step up to the plate and sort it with total finality) it has been arranged at short notice and with a short run in the Kraken can only (and I know she will) throw a few hissy fits before we go, but I know we will have to pay for it when we get back.

There are some destinations I would love to go to (when the lottery gives me my winnings hahaha) Hong Kong I nearly got posted there in the army but the Falkland’s war would have scrubbed that posting, Japan, New Zealand and lots of places in North America but money is always tight and they are indeed just a wish list, maybe one day. The ultimate destination is to hire Richard Branson’s island Necker (have a look at the website) that is on my bucket list one day (a definite euromillions win for me to take my friends with me) it really so funny when you don’t a holiday you don’t miss them but once the genie is out of the bottle it’s so addictive and honestly if I was fitter (not fatter) and the wife was not in such poor health the list would probably be twice as long, we are of an age when we should be kicking back and indeed having fun with a capital F.

I know the wife does indeed put up with many shit times (it’s her choice and I have no desire to influence) and hopefully (I know it will) she will enjoy the time away with friends and laughter is the best medicine or so I’m told, I have been hatching many cunning plots with E about if I should take my “Peter” mask for lots of photographs for the books to come but she also planted the seed that I could see the inside of an American jail as I get told to “raise my hands and remove the mask” hahaha we shall see, I am counting down the minutes (52980) until we go, we shall be doing the ritual of taking and abandoning our wrecked trainers as we buy new ones in America, hahaha and I know there will be quite a few chapters to come out 

Everyday

I need to stop and take a breath, I am in full on learning (allegedly) mode, I’m just completing week one of a four week course, with an exam at the end of week two and my revision has been cack, (understatement of the year it hasn’t been that good) my head stuck so far up my own ass, I have no idea if I’m coming of going! This course has been my nemesis for the last couple of years and now I know why.

The course is not helping my mood, but’s its simply one of a number of issues! black dog and black clouds have abounded, to be honest I have enjoyed it in a perverse kind of way, simply because I intend to beat this, I may get knocked back from time to time, I simply intend to come back stronger than before!

I have been hiding myself within blankets of isolation, not talking to people, not even family, that’s nothing new, but it is the worst symptom of my issues, lord knows my family put up with enough from me! I know that’s not a good thing, but its so easy to fall into the mischief of depression, which in itself just feeds all the other bad things, my moods have probably been the worst I have had in over six months …………………...but and there is a but, I do intend to beat this!

The issue that I have is me, yes, I know that, but I simply keep painting myself into a corner, not leaving myself a path back, so it’s always a huge leap into the dark, it doesn’t always work, my health isn’t helping, again its one step forward and then two backwards, but I do intend to do better, one day at a time, I just have to do this every day! Its not simply me who suffers, others do, friends, family and work colleagues, I do it every day, I simply shoot myself in the foot, no actually I’m probably shooting myself in my head with both barrels!

I need to ensure that I actually use the methods that I have been taught on my CBT course, however this is not always the case, it’s like I’m always around a corner waiting to whack myself on the shins with a bloody big stick, every day I do this, this time though I am fighting back I know I can do better!

I know that life is shit, but its better than it has been before, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, its way off in the distance, but its there, and that in itself gives me just a little glimmer of hope (Hold On Pain Ends) there I said it, damn it I will be a better person maybe not today or even tomorrow, but I will be one day!

So there you have it, I am about to head to bed as I’m done in, the course starts all over again, so I need my beauty sleep, if you see me give me a wave as I could use some human interaction, and I’m not always the best person for it, however everyday from now on I intend to do better, I have to for everybody that circles in my sphere of influence, every day, every day but until then, its deep breath time I need to run silent and run deep, until the next time Toodles!

Simple

So this is a blog all about me, nothing else, it has the potential to be nothing but drivel it also has the potential to be funny, witty, charming and a whole host of other things. It is not going to follow the format of the other blogs that I’ve done, this is something I intended to take my time with this blog(not that the others have been rushed). this is something that I intend to be for me first and foremost, if others get something out of it then good, but that’s not the aim from the word get go this is for me and really only me I’m trying to figure me out for me.

Some people think that I’m complex (yeah right) but for as long as I can remember life the universe and everything has always been in shades of black and white (no football jokes please) it was yes or no, right or wrong I’m sure you get the picture, I like to think that I’m honest, I hate lies I hate dishonesty and if you ask me a question I will give the most brutally honest answer I can give. This does not always endear me to people and some people think that I’m aloof and all the other terms that can be used to say that I’m not nice.

I cannot play the game of life I don’t do politics so if I cut you out of my life it’s because there is no space for you in my life it’s as simple as that! I don’t hate everybody (as some people think) I just have a very low tolerance to bullshit, I usually know straight away if I’m going to like you and if I do indeed like you it will take an awful lot for me to dislike you, having said that if you continue to poison the well I will cut you from my life like a tumour and will no longer tolerate you in my life to waste my time as let’s be honest I’m not getting any younger.

If I don’t like you when I meet you trust me give up and walk away, don’t waste your life you could give me a million pounds everyday for the rest of my life and I won’t like you! so far in my life I’ve only been wrong once and I won, so move on or move over or you will be trampled into the ground, I will tolerate certain things if I want to and I have a high tolerance for crap if it’s something I want, but when the line is crossed all bets are off , I will do whatever I have to so that I have peace of mind, now some people will think that I talk the talk, but don’t walk the walk the point being the relationship I have with my mother in law but hey I love my wife and I want her in my life, so unfortunately I am prepared to put up with a large amount of crap but if anything changes all bets are off and again I don’t lose.

I’m fiercely loyal and I will back any of my friends new or old totally to the hilt if I think they are indeed right, however if I think you are wrong, I will agree for you to have the right to have a different opinion to me and I won’t hold it against you. I’m not always right hey even I know that, but I will always give as honest an opinion as possible so if you don’t want to know I promise you really please don’t ask because you might just get offended.

I like to work to the best of my ability and try my best under whatever conditions prevail to do the best I can no matter what others think (usually the wife) I am prepared to work whatever hours I need to, to get the job done but I am honest if I can’t do it I will tell you I can’t and I will tell you why I can’t, my wife is driven mad because I’m a morning person and she isn’t I’m quite happy to get up and go , where as she is happy to have a lie in, stretch, scratch her ass and take her merry time (and there’s nothing wrong with that ) but it’s like water and oil it doesn’t always mix just as she is starting to hit her stride I’m worn out and tired and all I want to do after that is sleep sleep sleep!

I try to be funny although some people (actually loads so it must be true) say I’m sarcastic and I really don’t intend to be, I never have intended to be that but somehow it has seeped through me and well if people think it, I must indeed be what they say, I would never knowingly say anything mean to somebody I care about, but sometimes (hahahaha sometimes) my mouth opens and both feet try and fill the gap, hey I’m only human or at least that’s what I like to think.

I have issues (and I mean lots) with me and the older I get the more aware of them I become and sometimes I’m surprised if somebody tells me something that I never knew I was, I’m with me 24/7 so I haven’t got a clue I’m just me and if I do something wrong I much prefer people to tell me the truth about me (it’s ok I know I’m short fat and bald and yes I know I wear glasses but I’m ok with that really). I do prefer to be in the background and I like other people to have the spotlight, maybe I’m wrong but it really is too late to be trying me to be anything other than who I am right now.

I like a drink from time to time and sometimes (yes sometimes) I can be a tad naughty but I’m nowhere near as bad as what I used to be like when I was younger I had more issues with me, I usually just tried to drown them with lots of alcohol and if I had continued down that road I think……. well let’s not dwell on that particular road, let’s just say if the pubs were open I was in them and I was trying most sincerely to drink them dry and if they were closed Dr Vodka was a constant companion until they were indeed open again, I had some awesome friends, some who are no longer here and I intend to write about them in later blogs (possibly) but from the age 17to 21 I was very nearly to the point of selling my soul for the sake of a drink, why I hear some of you ask well I will again cover some of that in other blogs, my first wife put up with my drunken antics but just before I actually did the deed and got married, I pulled back from the brink and started over again I wasn’t a raging alcoholic but I did some silly things in flush of the youth (again some of which I will indeed discuss here) but sometime at the beginning of 1986 I totally stopped drinking and got my life back on track, that’s not to say I didn’t have any more episodes I did, but none as long lasting or as severe as those early days.

I know I’m not perfect and to be perfectly honest I have been told (professionally) that this is indeed the root of most of my problems, hopefully by spewing out these random thoughts I will hopefully become a better and more rounded person. I write because I enjoy it and hopefully because it will help me do what I need to do to be better for my friends and family, I do indeed think of myself as a simple man, this is just the first chapter of me looking inwardly (and not for the first time) and hopefully getting an answer that I can handle better this time around, I hope I’m more mature (somehow I think that’s doubtful) to deal with the answers that might arise, you never know I might not find anything other than I deal a fine line of bullshit I will let you the readers (and there are one or two of you out there)be the people who decide.

I have simple tastes mainly due to financial restraints that have been imposed by the way my life has gone again probably to be explored in other chapters, this is not the woe is me bit of the blog, I have seen some hard times in my life and through most of it I have been relatively happy with my lot, you don’t need money to be happy but I would rather cry inside a Rolls Royce than out in the rain in the gutter. Some of things I went through are not uncommon for some of my friends  it’s just I’m the one putting pen to paper so maybes just maybes I’m not the simple man I say I am!

I have never and will never think that I’m better than anybody else, I’m not against religion, gay people, politicians and all the other things that are out there I won’t bother you if you don’t bother me do I have opinions yes I do, but there are mine and mine alone and I will bear the convictions of my beliefs and thrust them on anybody that doesn’t need any more woes of their own, that’s not to say that I won’t voice my opinion because if you don’t raise your voice to be heard why are you partaking in this thing we call life.

Tiki 4

This has been way harder than expected, I had no intention to write this blog as I had been wallowing in self-imposed writers exile, posting stuff from published works and enjoying that people were enjoying it. But it a had a negative response on me, I lost the will to write, it was supposed to bolster my writing, it did no such thing, then I was adrift on a sea of morose thoughts, not bad thoughts for once, I had simply let go of my mojo and like a balloon it had floated away and then simply stayed out of reach!

Finally I was on a weeks holiday and although my intention was to lie around like a loppy dog (which I did) I still had a small but exhaustive list of tasks that I wished to carry out, ok so I have done 90% that’s good for me, the week floated on and me and the wife actually spent time together, we didn’t have any major plans as we were (no surprise here) skint, we did have a couple of cunning plans, but they were not until the back end of the week, health wise I was firing on five out of six cylinders something is definitely not perfect, so another long conversation next Wednesday.

The youngest disappeared back to Carlisle to complete a play about the moors murders that she had been rehearsing for months, this was the actual performance to a sold-out house, again the house we live in felt strangely quiet without her creaking bones, but as always we soldiered on. Friday arrived and we had an appointment for the wife in which we were an hour late, thankfully it was resolved peacefully and we sauntered off across country to pick the youngest up, good company and even better music and a nice drive sometimes it’s what you need to recharge your batteries.

An even nicer jaunt back, the play had been a raging success with some people stating that it should tour (come up with the money and it will ya sad sack) we were soon home, unfortunately the youngest was at work the next day so she was soon off to bed, we followed as we wanted to ensure that she actually dragged herself from her pit(she did) we gathered supplies for the forthcoming night time activities, it was to be opening of a friends personal Tiki bar in their back garden and we hadn’t seen friends in ages so it was a big  thing, it was 80’s themed party, sorry guys I have wore the same style of clothes since I was a kid so for me it was shorts and a Hawaiian style shirt (I still looked fat in it not fit) the wife went all Madonna on me and the youngest wore what she thought was appropriate, we had to wait for the youngest to get home from work and weave her magic but we got there sooner than I expected with only Buddy barking us a fond welcome although Diesel and Loki still came to see who was entering their home, Blue was simply happy to bimble on.

I had to admit I was concerned for the ozone layer with the amount of hair spray on show, mind you some of the chaps had covered themselves in gravy granules to simulate the tans of the day, no I was not one of them, thankfully my legs were lighthouses in the dark (bloody white) in my shorts, yes shorts! The bar was stunning and the naked flames added to the effect (no the bar was not on fire) a gas-powered fire pit was lovely but it wasn’t long before something was thrown on, thankfully the keeper of the royal flight was on hand to risk his pinkies! Not long after he also waded across the pool like some demented Godzilla! thankfully he stayed up right but it was close call, there were plenty of shenanigans and flying wigs, the dogs kept a watchful eye on us and soon GRRRR ant arrived and soon we were up to our elbows in sordid tales and jokes! I really do hope he enjoyed his daughters horse riding early this morning LOL!

I opened my mouth regarding the weather and all of a sudden it was spitting, thankfully it didn’t spoil the night it really was very light, the company as always was very good even though I remember people, I have trouble with names (its an age thing…….I hope) it was dark so I hope there are no issues, the themes of the parties keep on growing, there probably will be a live sized Godzilla for the Halloween party! And just like that it was time to go home, as the youngest had another early rise for work today (that’s life sweetie) and a nearly silent drive home with the wife concentrating in the dark roads home and the youngest very nearly falling asleep after the day’s activities, we arrived home, sorted the hound out, as I prepared the youngest’s bait simply so she had less to do, once she dragged her body from her pit! In between mixing tuna, I wrote down notes for the blog, the one I had no intention of doing (go figure) I wish I had actually done the blog there and then, as I had a million and one ideas that now in the cold light of day have simply evaporated, those are the breaks, so I’m told!

 The party was the perfect end to my holidays, as I have six weeks of hell coming, what with silly shifts and a trip away for work, which I don’t want to do, four courses and two exams that I don’t want to do and that’s just what I have planned, there is all the other minutiae that goes with my daily work cycle! My intention was not to blog my ego and mojo conspired against me, but I’m glad I did now, and no matter what the cost (financially) we really must get out and mix with (my fault I know) all the lovely people who are in our life, now I need to try and sort myself out for the coming morrow, thanks for all the readers and the kind comments of the older stuff watch the skies for more incoming, until then……………Toodles!

There's a hole in my Bucket!

I couldn’t keep a lower profile if I wanted to and to be honest it feels like I have had my hands tied behind my back and I want to pull my zip down god what did we do before the internet I’ve had a few blogs on the boil but they have went by the way and I was tracking numbers a habit that seems equally hard habit to break,  but we died a death when AOL kicked us into touch honestly can anybody tell me why it’s  so fecking hard to organise a new connection and telephone number tracking numbers on both blogs new and old and the old blogs are averaging about 20 a week that may be people rereading  old blogs (it could also be our redneck infestation)but I’m not taking the  risk the old blog is dead long live the new blog..........

Work has been a major ball ache with people having pissing competitions I don’t play but I will piss on the back of your legs if you want to be a pain so it’s probably just as well that I’m on holiday I can’t believe how busy work has been even all those well laid plans although they worked it doesn’t take a great deal to put a spanner in the works so the holiday came just at the right moment not doing a lot even less without the internet can’t even fill the iPod cos I need the internet (ha ha ha ha ha ha ) so my list of jobs will be pottered on so to speak but we have had a great weekend so I think I had better fill you all in with  the details

I took a lieu day on the Friday I couldn’t face going into work so we got stuff ready we had been invited by E & G to fins and chrome a classic car rally (we went last year) they had bought a camper van so the experience would be even better than the one we had last year (which was great) so now there is a mobile Hotel Jagermeister we had arranged to meet part way so we set off but I had  to pick some gear from work we slipped in under the radar and got back out just as quick and were soon on our way E & G missed the rendezvous so kept going to the next discernible point and we followed them into the car park of an American diner were G had all ready laid some cable (if you don’t know don’t ask.........YUK! )  and we headed off we were close anyway but the first roadblock was soon thrown in our face as the price had increased from last year we didn’t care we wanted to have a good time so we got parked and set about making base camp G made the table and did technical stuff we took our gazebo (clever stuff it just pops up) so we put that up and pinned it down just in case the weather kicked in (oh boy did it) while E made mince and dumplings (wow and they were lush ) the wife had been really sick I was hoping that this was going to be the right medicine it certainly looked like it. The sun was shining we had some beer and the evening was great we had some canny crack (that’s conversation for peeps who aren’t familiar with Geordie speak and not drug related) a lovely walk in the grounds lots of rabbits and stuff and E wanting G to pinch stained glass plants libraries .....You get the picture and no E you with a snipers rifle on the roof is not really a good career move a bit limited really, We headed back and me and E were excited as we thought the bookstall was setting up close to us (boy were we wrong and disappointed) we had a bit more drink the wife had bought me a bubba keg so we got G one as well he reckoned you could get 3 cans in  I didn’t try it (lightweight I know) and we turned in for an early ish night G having an audience E had her hands full but the pillow fort was assailed and G was subdued (eventually) they had gracefully given us the main bed (gratefully accepted) mind you I would have happily slept under the bloody van cos we were having such a bloody good time. The rules of the camp stated that you had to be quiet that didn’t work out as we had a cackling witch to one side a crap band (they even had a bloody drum kit) and general drunken antics did we care...........no we had G to get to bed !

We awoke to grey skies but our spirits were not down in the dumps we soon got breakfast on the go bacon and sausage sarnies lush we tidied up and prepared for the big day we were expecting more friends to visit, while we waited we thought we would have a wander check out some of the cool cars as we went and the stalls as well.....the book store turned out to be a sweetshop (gutted)  and three quarters around on our circuit my knee popped (bugger) things started to look decidedly cack we stopped at another sweet stall as the girls wanted something sweet and me and G weren’t up to the task sweeties bought  we headed back to base camp just as the rain started somebody up there didn’t want us to have fun thankfully they don’t know us that well, Paul one of our neighbours had turned up while we were away and had a cunning plan he had brought a mini spider man chopper to display (peeps had cunning plans all weekend) he even had brought a tent to act as a garage for the chopper these guys take their motors serious Kev Bucket turned up on his Enfield (now I will be honest I know sod all about this kind of thing I know what I like and I liked this) we had a quick brew and then  the fun began people were starting to come onto the fields we thought we could get everybody together but some things didn’t pan out it was at this point we noticed the wife had eaten all her candy floss and most of her fudge so she was packed to the gills with sugar and boy could we tell, it’s at this point I have to congratulate Kev Bucket for not drawing our attention to the fact that if we had had a ceiling the wife would have been through it how E didn’t club her like a Canadian seal during the grand prix qualifiers I’m not sure, having said that she does deal with G on a daily basis (sainthood can’t be far away) others turned up and we went to help put tents up (not that the cripple here could do much) Kev Buckets girlfriend Charlotte (nice French person with a south shields accent) had driven down with their van with a tent on top which when folded out was wonderful obviously designed for those marauding zombie giraffes  out on the Serengeti but a great piece of kit, Caroline’s tent was a pop up affair that was to cause much pain later only for the wife to be the hero of the day!

Charlotte was as it turns out the support act but her time was keep getting moved further and further back so we dispersed back to camp and decided it was time for the Barbeque even though it was Bucketing down (you will understand the pun as you read on) we erected G’s gazebo (ooer missus) and cracked on with the food beef steaks, chicken kebabs naked and reggie reggie one’s a veritable feast was had by all but the main event was fast approaching and we were all looking forward to the legendary Bessie and the Zinc Buckets (get the pun now thank god for that) Charlotte did her short set and we enjoyed it she did win a lot of other people over who to be honest were there for Rock a Billy and they were going to get it, for the foreign readers of the blog Bessie and the Zinc Buckets are a local band who are legendary for having a vast array of musical knowledge and being able to play it in the style of Rock a Billy trust me you ain’t heard Ace of Spades till you have heard the Buckets play it they also play a lot of obscure authentic stuff which is fabulous trust me they play loads of gigs and if you ever get the chance see them they are awesome I have followed them diligently for the last 19 years and have seen them more than 80 times I cannot recommend them enough Charlotte did duet on one number giving Glen Bucket (see the thread) a chance to nearly die after drinking from a slush cup  full of Jack Daniels (ooops tee hee!) the real Rock a Billy’s eventually got up to Ten Pole Tudor (go figure) and then the night really began everybody got slaughtered we had took our cool box with us as we didn’t intend to pay £3 a pint the guy running the bar tried to be a hard arse but Les who runs fins and chrome sorted that out oooooooh and look the bar then dropped the price accordingly and the night rocked even the cripple had fun and hopefully I will post all of the photographs (along with suitable captions) at the same time as this blog go have a look and have a laugh the rain stopped around about 8.30 ish as E predicted and the night started and ended on a high, I had my fair share of drinkie poo’s but my knee was determined to stop some of the fun (it tried and it didn’t tee hee!) E & G slow danced as only a happy couple can, all that noise is just smoke and mirrors they may seem like they don’t care but sorry guys we know you do ha ha ha ha ha ! 

we start to rally the troops to head back to camp when we noticed as always G was up for some further partying (this could get nasty) and started to ask peeps back to camp Jagermiester thankfully me and the wife headed back to avoid getting blood on our selves when we were half way back they were just right behind us I have to admit at this point my knee was winning the battle I had to be helped to undress (yes I had a drink no I was fully competent just crippled with the knee)I would also like to thank G for climbing onto the bed and trying to sooth my fevered brow you did a sterling job and no I wasn’t worried at all ..........much!

 at this point G turned into Rupericht from the film Dirty rotten scoundrels and E really had her hands full now if anybody does know G when he goes into this mode he is really funny you don’t want to laugh as it makes him want to do it even more and E has her hands full (honestly sainthood can only be hours away never mind days) now at this point I would love to describe the rest of the events but I had my head buried under the covers choking on pillows as soon as G said he intended to have a shower E would have revenge in the morning but it was a close run thing and if you know me once I intend to sleep there’s not much that can stop me I was soon asleep even with all the mayhem in the camper van combination of being tired having a drink and being in pain.

The next morning we woke to brighter skies and happier times G was the last out of the pit as E took great pleasure sticking him with a bloody big umbrella, we soon had breakfast on the go and peeps wandered across and were supplied liberally with bacon or sausage sarnies Kev Bucket needing sustenance and I actually turned down a doughnut from Charlotte for breakfast yes that shockwave will go around the world I was on cooking duties and had a great time doing it we then broke camp to have a look at all the cars that had started filling the field not before Caroline and Mowgli turned up having failed miserably in folding the pop up tent away it looked like it had come to life under a spell and was tied down with elvish rope (sorry the weekend was sprinkled with lord of the rings quotes I had to get at least one in sorry E) The wife sprung into action with a quick twist it was under control and zipped up to everybody’s amazement (well done Mrs Tomaso) we had a look around saw some nice cars I have to admit that I prefer early fords Cortina’s Consul’s I didn’t see any Anglia’s this year I’m not a fan of new cars does that make me old?

We set off to head home took a wrong turning but still made it back in one piece had a little relax took mother in law home who had been dog sitting had a quick bite to eat then got ready to go the rattler for round 2 in south shields with E & G we intended to see The Frog on The Tyne which was Kev Bucket and Charlotte doing a duet type of thing(and again it was good, different but good) I wasn’t really not expecting it to be bad but I hadn’t expected it to be that good the Rattler was rammed we should have known bank holiday full of buck nuts and knuckle draggers there was even a skirmish in the middle of the bar 2 punches thrown and a bit of bluster and the door men responded only 5 minutes too late to resolve anything then we wheedled our way down through the room Mowgli was there and was trying successfully to get seats for everybody my knee was still in pain (still is 3 days later) we enjoyed the show and a lot of good crack cunning plans being sorted the only thing holding us back is finances and time scale but like I said we have cunning plans and only ourselves to blame if it doesn’t happen (it will it will it will)  it was nearly 1 in the morning before we even bothered to check the time so we had to head for the hills while the rest of the gang hit the crab shack (boo hoo) we need a lottery win so we can actually move within walking distance of our friends ah well there’s always next week.

So far the rest of the week has been Cack (yes with a capital C ) story of my life whenever I have a holiday things happen to conspire against me /us (does that sound paranoid) I might as well spend more time at work that may be shit but at least I have company that I’m not arguing with (well sort of) and that is just about the blog I have a few more days to go so I might add some extra stuff if anything exciting (yeah right) happens internet should be resumed in 2 days time (yippee) . I have enjoyed the pleasure of my iPod over the last few days and I do intend to do some reading (fingers crossed) but I have watched Cheap Trick playing all of the Sergeant Peppers album which was nice bit Las Vegas but well played and a really horrendous Molly Hatchet DVD from some festival in Germany from 2004 I love the band but I wouldn’t recommend it to anybody they play ok but there’s lots of out of focus shots ho hum look at me I’ve turned all Barry Norman on you all right I’m out of here and I might just add a little something before I actually post this counting down the seconds till I have my beloved internet back!

So there you go i can't believe how old this blog is, the two nicest people in the world damn they know how to enjoy life, they should promote a college course! only one one @old@ blog to come and then back to writing until then..............Toodles!

Family

These have been coming out at random but it seems kind of natural that family has popped up straight after the rant that was the previous chapter.

My family is no stranger than anybody else’s but sometimes it feels like we were brought up by the CIA we don’t (as of yet but you never know) open up to each other we keep ourselves to ourselves some people might disagree I like being who I am and I might not get on with all of my family at the same time (who does) and I certainly don’t think that they are perfect (well we are compared to some) but here is a brief history of our secretive little clan.

I will be honest I don’t know my dad’s side of the family at all I know he had a brother called Robson who had two sons (the same age as me and my brother) I met my uncle once (that I can remember and the sons a couple of times, the last time I don’t believe I was particularly nice to either of them, one grew up to be a GP and one became an eye surgeon more power to their elbow! am I bothered to meet them to be honest I wouldn’t be as hostile towards them as I was then, but I doubt I would cross the road if I knew who they were. I never met my grandparents from my dad’s side so I suppose no great loss there then, if they had been that bothered they could have, because they lived directly across the road from my mum’s parents (but that’s a whole different story).

My Nana and Poppa lived in a small village called The Dene my Poppa was from Govan and was a hard little ginger Scotsman with a fierce temper (and yes although I never met him he died in 1963, I inherited ginger in my beard and that self same temperament) he came to work in the steel works at Consett at a time when unemployment was at unbelievable levels, and my Nana was his second wife, his first died years before, My  Nana was lovely (aren’t all Nanas) she was always a quiet thing, I loved her dearly (we all love our grandparents when in actual fact they are just carbon copies of our own parents who we usually fight with hahahaha) I remember when my Nana died she withered away before our eyes, it’s the first time we lost somebody that I was aware of and I still have the memory of her lying in my parents bed with the curtains closed I still have the last Christmas present she ever gave me a brown silk tie and its one of my most prized possessions.

My mum also had a fierce temper but was really good at holding it in check and before she had her stroke she was quick witted and independent, after the divorce she brought up two strong willed boys and put us before everything which I believe didn’t help her health her only pleasure according to her was having a smoke (it’s a habit me and my brother never picked up) she didn’t ask for nothing but worked as hard as anybody could, I get my work ethic from her, we only ever fell out once (or twice hahaha) and we always picked up where we left off  the very next day! my mum wasn’t one to hold a grudge ( so god knows who I got that trait from) she loved life and never complained and if truth be known you she had plenty to complain about. She loved music and even some of the music me and my brother liked including Rainbow (Stargazer being here favourite) and Manowar (Battle hymns “play the one with the drums”) we had fun at her expense after her stroke and she was mortified when she called the Pope a silly twat when in actual fact she meant twit!  We never ever let her forget that and there were many other times when she got muddled but that was a classic. She was (no surprise there) a fantastic cook, I still miss her cakes (drool) her rice puddings Tatty soup etc etc I could go on and on my only complaint about my mum she never let us do stuff it was always done for us and yes I know her argument that we both worked paper rounds as well as working in our local shop and had our school studies we wanted for nothing and although money was always tight and at times we were thread bare we never went without.

My brother and I fought each other every day totally and completely! he was totally evil to me at times (I’m hoping like all big brothers) but he was and has always been there for me when needed and has fought my corner on more than one occasion, we both share a love of music which I have to admit I blame on him completely and although there is a common thread between us I went off on my own as did he (I don’t think he will ever forgive me for talking him in to buying that single by that well known French heavy metal band Chic the single being le Freak the beating was well worth it) he is technical and a problem solver I’m not he looks like our dad except he has a full(ish) head of hair, he doesn’t suffer fools gladly and just gets on with stuff and if he cuts you out of his life trust me you have less chance than you do with me, he enjoys fine wine and even finer whiskey but suffers now through being diagnosed a celiac so can’t deal with gluten, we didn’t actually get on until I left home then we mellowed having said that he still has an evil streak but now he’s trained to be evil and I really don’t want to piss him off (that much anymore) he’s happily married to someone who I was great friends with and I went through all my school years with, they have one daughter who is so much like her dad it’s unbelievable the only thing we are both glad about is that the Irwin name dies out with us no sons going forward.

My Uncle Keith passed a few years ago and he was the Geezer of my mum’s family he had more edge than a broken piss pot (in  such a nice way) a great bloke who would do anything to help and once ran over three miles in about 20 minutes in his slippers to deal with two unruly boys I’m glad he had those three miles to run cos he scared me shitless that day and yes I got all I deserved, he was  a keen gardener another keeper of family secrets I loved boxing days going to his house and I will always remember when him and his wife (Aunty Maureen) took me to Bridlington in the summer of 1976 for a holiday (when he didn’t have to)and some lady dropped a jar of honey down the bus his quick wit had the driver telling him to stop otherwise he would crash the bus just to get some relief  for his ribs, a proud man who suffered several severe health scares a man who if he had got his hands on our dad would have pulled him limb from limb (bless him).

My Uncle Colin is like me in many ways I was named after both my Uncles Colin George and Keith Campbell to get Colin Campbell my Poppa must have a twisted sense of humour sticking Campbell with Macgregor, again my Uncle Colin reminds me of my Nana with his quiet ways but if he gets riled he’s a bit of a slow burner the main keeper of secrets who when I asked questions about the family history asked me “what did your mother tell you” “nothing” “then that’s the way it’s staying” I still see him wandering the streets of Consett as he likes a walk now and again (although I think it’s just to escape Aunty Ann and his daughter Lindsey).

My Cousin Keith who now resides in Sunny Scunthorpe (with his wife Geraldine) where I used to head off at every opportunity but then I got married and became boring hahahaha we still visit infrequently but I love them to bits and to a degree he was the pirate of the family here one moment then gone the next as a kid I idolised him,(truth be told I still do) he used to look a little like Rod Stewart (well it was the 70’s) with a cheekier grin.

And that’s about it there are one or two others out on the perimeter who sometimes come into view and then disappear just as quick as they appeared and that just leaves the kids.....

The eldest I met when she was about 18 months old and I have to admit I wasn’t a children type of guy but she slowly melted my heart and for about 12 years we were inseparable doing all manner of jolly japes and walks together then at 14 she changed and although we still have many differences I still love her dearly and I know enough that she couldn’t stay a little girl forever, but I have to admit to being disillusioned the way she turned out, all I know is that I can hold my head up high knowing I did my very best for her and was there for her many many times although for reasons known only to herself ,I am now the enemy and will probably remain that way, the bridge is always there but there is only so many times she can pour petrol on it and for it not have it totally destroyed that choice is entirely up to her, she has a lovely son 11 months old (at the time of writing this) and he is a right hand full and just looks like his mother did at that same age and we do the right thing by providing free childcare for not very many thanks! Since this was originally written the eldest has been through the mill and is now hopefully on the climb back to happiness, she has matured into the lovely person she was before!

The youngest is a star looks just like my brothers daughter and has the hair of her father’s Poppa , hard working and caring and totally scatterbrained  bless her not a bad bone in her body (until she gets riled like both her parents) she goes with the flow and can be just a little too laid back for my liking at times but hey ho she seems to be quite level headed and like her mother could get on and make friends in an empty room, has a keen sense of humour and has as yet hidden talents in that deep soul of hers.

My father I leave till last because I don’t really have an opinion of him and I didn’t get really upset about him until when I was trying to discover the exact where a bout’s of my Poppa’s grave ( a thrifty Scotsman buried in an unmarked grave) when the local curate told me all that I needed to know plus a little extra, I wasn’t too bothered about that my grandfather from the other side of the family lived across the road from my mother’s family ( that I all ready knew) but what came as a total shock and sent me into a terrible rage was that he lived at that address until he died in 1982 with his son Norman who never made any attempt to contact his two sons, who didn’t know whether he was alive or dead who lived about three miles away and at that exact time his youngest son worked half a mile from his front door  I try not to dwell on it too much because it’s such a small community where everybody knows each other I struggle to think that some of my beloved family were aware that he was there, this was the first time I had thought of him in over twenty years and now it comes back to haunt me on a regular basis something I can never understand somebody who doesn’t want to know his own children or grandchildren, me and my brother have the same hope that he’s getting buggered in some old folks home..... Ah you can but hope!

Ah and what about the wife I hear you all scream I hope to give the good lady a blog all of her own, it might not be as long as this but it will be heartfelt as always and truthful!