As a kid we had holidays Scarbourgh a
couple of times, Blackpool once and I was ill the whole time (with an ear
infection that led to a perforated eardrum) and Dunbar in Scotland which
although it was boring it was a great time the only real holiday were we
interacted with the person who if memory serves me right was our dad, not that
we did much apart play on a very long windswept beach looking for razor clams,
hells bells even my brother was nice to me hahaha.
The last holiday we did have
was in Scarbourgh and there was a vibe from the beginning, which me and my
brother didn’t pick up on, good god we were just kids going on holiday my dad
didn’t want to pack the car there was an issue with “something” but my mum
insisted and we set out at about 5 in the morning to drive there (this was the
seventies) and we were normal kids with my dad insisting that if we didn’t calm
down he would turn the car around, we were staying at a place called Strawberry
Grove or so he said and we drove around Scarbourgh for what seemed ages and my
mum was suspicious as he didn’t want to ask for directions, in the end my mum
got him to pull over and she asked a policeman (yes they still walked the
streets in those days) who after scratching his head admitted he had never
heard of it although he was new to the area( some of the details were refreshed
in my memory by my mum over the years hell I was just a kid) at this point my
dad then said we might as well go home, it was then that I saw my mum lose her
temper with my dad for the one and only time and boy did she have a go at him
as we drove down the street she saw a boarding house that had vacancies “well
if we can’t find the place you have booked we will stay here for the night at
least” so this old lady showed us to the upstairs flat and we settled in, my
parents to separate corners ready for the bell to ring when a mouse popped out
of nowhere and broke the ice we all laughed and mum shrieked and we went for a
walk around the streets taking in the sights, we had chips and candy floss my
brother and me got on really well for this holiday and if truth be told this
was the beginning of the end for my parents, things were strained but when
you’re seven you don’t really notice I think my brother had and that’s why he was
all of a sudden older but wiser and a proper brother, that first night we
resolved to stay awake as long as possible, we stayed awake as long as the
streetlights stayed on but we did indeed drift off , not before we talked of
things that we had never talked about before and for that short time I realised
what a big brother was for and I was a happy little camper for having a big
brother although at the time I had no idea why?
We stayed at the flat for four days
exploring the town and watched the battleships in Peasome Park, went on the
boats and very nearly met my uncle Robson for the first time but my dad steered
us clear for some reason, and then after four days mum’s courage had waned and
she was quite happy to head home, which was probably because she knew that my
dad had paid by cheque and it was bouncing all the way to the bank, things were
strained all the way home and even I noticed, the relationship foundered a few
weeks down the line and that set off many issues that even all this time down
the line I still struggle with.
A few years later my Uncle took me
Bridlington (my brother dodged that bullet) with his second wife and his son
from his first marriage, the holiday was good but my cousin was weird and kept
trying to freak me out on a night time it was the first time I ever used the F
word I have to admit we didn’t really get on, but the holiday was a welcome
distraction, but to be honest I wasn’t going to miss having a holiday! what you
didn’t have you didn’t miss.
I wasn’t to have another holiday for over fifteen
years, when in a new relationship (with the wife) we organised a trip to Cyprus
a holiday that was eventful because I actually became a proper adult and
enjoyed a great time with the eldest as you should when on holidays. Apart from
a fall where I tore a ligament in my foot (and no I wasn’t drunk) and the fact
that we locked ourselves out of our hire car it was a low key holiday but once
you have a holiday you soon realise what you are missing and from there on in I
looked forward to our jaunts whether it was to Haggerston castle (a caravan
park) or to the Med or Florida I always enjoyed spending time with the family
(yes that’s right me with my reputation) but what did become troublesome was when we
started going with the Kraken she was and is a major pain when walking into an
airport and on a plane, the actual holiday she is usually good company and
chills like everybody else but those hours waiting for a plane or the actual
flight itself erm no I think I would rather take an orbital sander to my
genitals than go through that ever again (unless I could hire a private jet)
that’s why I am so looking forward to our jaunt to Las Vegas this March great
company and me and the wife where she can decompress away from all the grief
that she has to put up with (say the word I will gladly step up to the plate
and sort it with total finality) it has been arranged at short notice and with
a short run in the Kraken can only (and I know she will) throw a few hissy fits
before we go, but I know we will have to pay for it when we get back.
There are some destinations I would love
to go to (when the lottery gives me my winnings hahaha) Hong Kong I nearly got
posted there in the army but the Falkland’s war would have scrubbed that
posting, Japan, New Zealand and lots of places in North America but money is
always tight and they are indeed just a wish list, maybe one day. The ultimate
destination is to hire Richard Branson’s island Necker (have a look at the
website) that is on my bucket list one day (a definite euromillions win for me
to take my friends with me) it really so funny when you don’t a holiday you
don’t miss them but once the genie is out of the bottle it’s so addictive and
honestly if I was fitter (not fatter) and the wife was not in such poor health
the list would probably be twice as long, we are of an age when we should be
kicking back and indeed having fun with a capital F.
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