FM Atomic Generation

FM – Atomic Generation. 10/10.

I always look forward to a new FM album, but this time they have gone and done it, knocked it right out of the park!

The album starts with the stadium lifting Black Magic, all singalong chorus and infectious hooks, this should get huge radio play, but it won’t, why? because its honest, well-crafted and well played, not some sterile pop pap! The ball keeps on rolling into Too Much of a Good Thing, a classic FM rockier type of ballad, something which they excel at. The rock keeps on coming with Killed by Love, and then straight into Only in It for The Money, my only gripe about this song is the dodgy till effect at the beginning of the song, sorry boys but I had to find something to complain about. Having said that its also the meanest riff on the entire album, something heavy oh yes indeed, the song itself covers all bases with Mr Overland being Mr Nasty all the way through, this leads us straight into Golden Days which takes right back to the eighties with a Don Henley kind of vibe, very similar to the boys of summer, but not if you get my drift.

They then go cross country on our ass and head back to a Rock/Motown type of vibe that they have tried before, something that Santana would kill for, with Playing Tricks On Me, there are so many tracks here that should be getting radio airplay, somebody should be charged for crimes against the nation! they then take the foot off the pedal, just a little, so that the band can have a breather but Make The Best Of What You Got will still get the crowd on their feet, it lulls you into a false sense of security that the band have played all of their best cards, but we are so wrong on that score, Follow Your Heart, is this band doing what they do best, a supremely crafted song with everything going right for them, this is the jewel in this particular crown, keyboards and guitars interplaying as they should with awesome vocals and some power chords in all the right places! Mr Kirkpatrick blazing away in a refined and smooth way like a modern-day Brian May, doing all the right things in all of the right places, and not one bit of shredding to get in the way, all the pieces fit and because of this it just makes the song soar.

How do they follow that well they break out the ballad, Do You Love Me Enough? Its so damn good it hurts, where else can they go with this? well they let Mr Davis loose with his trusty Hammond organ and they simply get Stronger, by now we the discerning listener are just about done there’s not a lot more they can do, or so we think, but they hit us with a fantastic acoustic led ballad called Love Is The Law, which brings the album back to earth with a gentle bump and not a crash landing.

I’m not sure how FM follow this, they have crafted the best album, their most consistent album since their debut, the band fit in and interplay, nobody plays over anybody else, the keyboards are to the fore as they should be, The guitars are to the point nothing is overdone a damn fine effort , my issue is that I want to see all eleven songs performed live as they would slot great into their set, this really is music for an Atomic Generation!

Loving you Sunday morning.

Here is the news, or rather what has happened within the last 48 hours and what is coming down the line!

So Friday night me and the Mrs were both at work, which helped me to get home in a sensible time, once home we were soon off to bed and then sharp to rise, I did some chores first thing picked up my prescription, bought some pasta sauce for the tea and then went and bought some shoelaces (£2.50 WTF)  however the wife had a quickish turnaround yesterday, so it looked like I had the house to myself, a quick conversation with my brother meant he was going to come up and collect (ahem) some music (43 gyg)  then my stomach bug kicked in and I suffered miserably all afternoon, the visit from my brother cancelled and an afternoon on the settee with myself and my fever dreams for company.

The wife arrived home shouting at me for being a sickly bairn (your welcome) and we had a brief shouting match, what the wife wants the wife gets! I made the tea, we ate (in silence) and then we got ready and set off on a jolly jaunt!

Now its at this point I would normally blog about the evening, but I’m not going to, simply because I was poorly and I didn’t really interact with many people, I have a feeling most people thought I was a misery anyways (ha me with my reputation) I honestly did have a great time, but I was trying not to gas anybody (thankfully I didn’t) and I wanted what was in my stomach to stay there (thankfully it did) but it didn’t make me the best company, I can only apologise for that, but trust me I did have a wonderful time, the wife did as well, however it took me over 45 minutes to get her to leave, by this point I was crippled with stomach pains and I was nearly on my hands and knees as we got home, thankfully I was able to resolve the issues once at home.

I awoke this morning not being able to find the wife, it turns out its her turn to be poorly (your welcome) so I got up made my notes for this blog and sat while the laptop took ages to resolve its issues with being switched on at this time of day, I have done all of my chores I just await the corpse bride to shake a leg and come and give me company, what does the day hold? Well I have this little missive to post, I need to clear my laptop and see if I can fix it, if not I need to get as much off here as I can, before it goes Kaput!

You will also see on the blog page , although I am tinkering with the idea of maybe a Facebook page, some album reviews, I have been asked to review three albums for a Scandinavian website, no names no pack drill I won’t be posting under my real name anyway (scared of another Redneck infestation)  and if it goes well I might get some more, the editor of the web page likes my blog so hey ho nothing ventured nothing gained, please let me know what you think and if it’s a good fit I might just do that page/group thing!

So again to all the nice people from last night thank you for a fab time, sorry for being a misery, I was genuinely trying my best, and I thought I did  better than what I thought I would be, I’m only in a few photographs, so I know who you are and a stiff talking to is on the cards, and does anybody know where I can buy a cattle prod as somebody is awfully nice when they see me and have started hugging me at the beginning and ending of the night, I don’t do hugs, I have no idea what is expected in theses situations, a scoring system, a bear hug in return, I think I’m a little like Sheldon in the hugging department, I do come from a loving family (I think) I simply do not know the etiquette for returning hugs, I know the duchess tried to get me out of the bad habit but sorry boys and girls I’m just not used to lovely people being affectionate!

That’s us done I return to the reviewing of the albums (thankfully I have them all, the problem is I also like them all) the first one will be up later tonight even though it is finished some fine tuning and polishing must take place before it is published, me with my reputation, have a lovely Sunday and until the next time ……………….Toodles!

The salt of joy.

I so badly wanted to write this blog this morning, I wanted to do it so badly that I even contemplated doing a sickie, work won out, my conscience wouldn’t allow me to stay off for something so trivial, (the blog trivial hang on a second) so I went to work did my bit and mulled over this!

So ,early Sunday I blogged and I was in a happier frame of mind, because I simply didn’t think I was going to be able to, the rest of the morning drifted and then I felt like hammered crap, my body still getting used to the waves of nausea that the new stuff is causing, I’m a big boy I will suck it up and get better, hopefully! I didn’t have a huge amount of stuff to do, well I did but nothing that I had an inclination to start on, I discovered that I had left my work mobile on, so like a fool I started going through the email I accumulated in 48 hours (67 and counting) once I had sorted stuff I decided I needed to have a lie down, we were invited to another birthday party and I was determined not to spoil it for the wife, I said I was determined I didn’t say that I was successful!

I didn’t sleep or even snooze but I did feel a lot better after my resting period (honest I didn’t blink once) I sat bolt upright as the house phone rang, for some reason I felt guilty, it was my brother wishing to complain about his ongoing nightshift, I was grateful for the interaction, as I knew we would soon be talking about…….music, forty five minutes later and I felt like I had saved the world, I carried out some of the smaller tasks I had intended (I no longer felt guilty)  and the wife escaped from the asylum a lot quicker than expected , I made food and we enjoyed our own company, its strange not having the kids in the house, I had a quick bath and the wife got her blacksmith kit out to sort out my hooves!

We set out in plenty of time, the wife had a slight rage attack as she couldn’t get the sat nav to stick to the window, why we needed the sat nav I  have no idea, thankfully after the 52nd attempt she gave up, I even let her play (gulp) dance music all the way to the town, we got there early, I know the wife with her reputation, we nearly had a world war as the wife nipped into a parking bay and the wife is simply so aggressive, the big ugly lump who was scowling at the wife had no idea who he was scowling at! I tied her to the bumper of the car to let some steam off, I did suspect we were going to come back to 4 very flat tyres (only at the bottom) thankfully we didn’t.

The wife thought that she had seen the special guest music star outside the venue, thankfully it was a Muslim gentleman trying to get his wife in her burka into his car, I could see it was going to be one of those nights, we got there and said hello to the birthday girl, and the wife was happy as she saw so many of her friends, now I now these people and they are indeed nice but I’m sure they simply put up with me as they have only known me about 26 years, very nice people and they are all so nice to me, my spirits were indeed in the ascendance (you know it won’t last) we grabbed a table off to one side but was soon dragged to the centre of the room to witness the gathering of the tables.

My only issue up to this point the shutters on the bar was still down and I was feeling damn thirsty, once the shutters went up it was like a charge of wildebeests as they rush to a watering hole, I should have known that this was going to set the tone of the night, then it was the turn of the special guest Mr Dan Reed  who had flown in to do a special show for the birthday girl, he should move to the UK I’m sure that he is Newcastle more than me! We have seen him do a similar thing for another friend and he was good then, but last night was simply awesome some old songs and some newer material, some of which I intend to go back through my collection as I really do think I have to listen to some of his solo songs, on last night’s showing they were simply stunning,  it was at this point the evening started to take a down ward turn as there was a loud person down the front, this I could have handled but make your point and then shut the fuck up! It’s not your party, even Dan said as much but in so much of a nicer way, the crowd were forgiving, I imagine if it had been held else wear in different circumstances she may have got a pint glass to the back of the head! Her friend who sat next to her was wearing what could only be described as a downed hot air balloon, you would have though the fashion police would have locked her up but no they didn’t!

I have the distinct impression that this coven of witches (yes there were three of them) didn’t normally to gigs and didn’t know the normal etiquette, it was only going to get worse! judging by what I wanted to write last night I simply may have to ensure that “The whalers dues” is my next published blog. Publish and be damned I think is the order of the day, then there were even more nice people and my vibe was still on the mellow side, then we had the best raffle I have ever seen, this lady sure knows how to  throw a party, there was also collections for a well known cancer charity, which we were than happy to contribute as this fine charity has helped family members while coping with this horrible disease (Macmillan’s )just about everybody got at least one gift to take home the wife got one and the chance to take me home (maybe that second one is not as good as advertised LOL) Raffle complete it was time for the food, this where the night was slightly soured for me, I have seen food give a ways in refugee camps done in a more sensitive way, now can I say at this point this is my view nobody else was / is as sensitive as me and my little ego, I know people who served in several conflicts who wouldn’t have gone near the scrum, I shuffled up to join the queue, I couldn’t get anywhere near the cold buffet , it was busy that’s all, it happens so I thought I would try the hot buffet this is where I nearly lost my mind because the lady with the big mouth was trying to collect 3 lots of food at the same time while being unbalanced, I believe she was trying to use a crutch at the same time and she was hovering above all of the food until she got what she wanted, at this point I walked away in a strop simply because I didn’t want to spoil anybody’s night!

The wife wondered what had happened and started searching for me, she soon found me back at our long line of tables sat with a face like a slapped arse arms folded, simply so I didn’t throw a table in the direction of the woman who was oblivious to me and my ire! The wife had a familiar look on her face, I was determined not to spoil her evening, but I was struggling to keep the lid on my strop, and it was mine, nobody else seemed  to care, I had known it was too good to last, the wife didn’t poke the bear too often and thankfully the mood slid away, I refused to go anywhere near the food even after everybody had been up for seconds and thirds, there was still enough food left at the end of the evening to feed a small army, a damn fine spread , but as the wife said I was perfectly happy to cut my nose off  to spite my face, she knows me so damn well, hopefully I genuinely didn’t spoil anybody’s evening, the wife seemed happy enough with me, then the next musical guest a local band who my wife thought were The pretty weeds, it turns out that they weren’t, but they were damn good, a little investigation so we can catch them, not on a school night! but it was soon time to head for the hills and head back to Gimpsville (after all it was a school night) as much as we wanted to stay until the end it would not have been fair on the pooch as he was in the house in his cage.

We said our goodbyes, thankfully I was able to get away with the minimal amount of hugs, I still got caught, I was able to say thank you to Mr Reed for an excellent set, if you ever get the chance to see him in an intimate acoustic setting, go you will not see a better gig, I love Dan Reed Network and all their funky stuff but acoustically he is sublime, hang on I need a tissue I have something brown on the end of my nose, the end to a great night and a fab party, the wife had her joy levels topped up and that in itself is something to behold!

We returned to find the car intact and we enjoyed a quiet drive home (24 minutes later and 16 miles) we were soon having a nice cup of tea, it doesn’t take much too make us happy and we snatched it with hands tonight even me and my small strop didn’t spoil it and it really did make me want to blog there and then, now that’s the sign of a good night! so I have to say thank you for the invitation, thank you to all of the great company who welcomed me into their bosom (in a nice friendly way) for a fab evening,  hopefully there will be many more to come, so there you go a proper blog, with a story to  it rather than me going “oh woe is me”, the numbers for yesterday were good this one is going be damn good just like the party we were at (LOL) until the next time……….Toodles!

And yes the name game is in play……..it shouldn’t be too hard!

The audience is listening.

The seeds of self doubt (at least when it comes to writing) have at last bore fruit! I have beavering away all week trying to do something witty, but alas to no great results.

Life it would seem is conspiring to deal me a losing hand, as I keep getting dragged into family life, you know household chores, talking with the wife…………exactly, generally its keeping me distracted from what I do this for, a few kernels of blogs are simmering away, but nothing is prepared to give itself up just yet.

I’m not complaining I’m just simply distracted, something that does not normally happen, you the discerning reader are being decidedly nice about the blogs and it would appear that you are happy that the flood of blogs has subsided, as long as I don’t do a Mick Wall or a Dave Ling and go missing in action for months at a time (been there done that) you guys are happy to go with the flow.

Numbers have been well, alright, it’s not earth shattering, but I’m happy with my lot, in a blog writing kind of way. No that doesn’t mean that I have reached a plateau, I need to simply give my head a shake I know that there are peaks and troughs from time to time, maybe I have just peaked a little early, maybe the devils instrument the television is to blame, or the fact that I am attempting to be a normal human being (that will have to stop) I’m sure I will find a solution at some point. I am also being distracted by my efforts to collate things in my life, be it alphabetical or chronological, I need to concentrate, I’m a typical male I should not attempt to multi task.

Interaction has come down to a dull roar and maybe that’s the main reason, I start plenty of ideas, but finishing them is the hard part, I have a week of public transport coming up and a new black book, I’m hoping for a lot of inspiration, just something that will inspire the seeds of my brain to spring forth, my health has not being helping, nauseous is the main feeling of the day, I know the routine now I just have to deal with and keep with the timetable that my body has set for me!

So that’s the effort for today, a day of rest beckons before I have to go out with the wife and mingle with the world for a small musical birthday (no not mine) interlude, this in itself should help with a musical evening planned I do like music, you may have noticed, I’ll be happy as long as this damn nausea buggers off, so as always thank you for the support, good things are just down the track, and for the people who have been enquiring about “The whalers dues” it’s still there, I just want to have ago from a different angle, I  have it in my sights, I know it can be a whole heap better, but then I always  say that, keep spreading the disease,  watch the skies for incoming until then…..Toodles!

Later that same evening.

I have been a very busy boy at work this past week, hence no blogs, I wanted the blood to rise so to speak, conserve my energies for the things that matter, life, loving and work! Me the Mrs had been invited to a birthday party, I didn’t know the person, so I was just to sit there and look pretty, as always, the whole evening  was actually pretty good considering I only knew one other person at the shindig, I sat and did what I love doing, I people watched, my mind was agog with all the potential for a new blog, a title had been picked “The Whalers Dues” if it’s any help the title for this one is from the same band, but from an earlier album.

Although the idea was sound, I got the distinct impression some people would get that I was being mean spirited, I wasn’t, however I can’t seem to twist it to the positive edge I want, and because of this, I have no intention of posting it just yet, I only have notes, not a fully-fledged blog, so I better pull my finger out of my ass and come up with something, otherwise there will a crowd in the streets with burning torches and pitch forks, allegedly!

As I have already stated work was busy, it always is, but I had to concentrate for once, lots of music through the week and a smattering of exceedingly long blinks (at no time was I asleep). Saturday I was in charge at the asylum, thankfully it was actually a kind of quiet day, I only had to deal with one dumb ass, and I can assure you I was both pleasant and polite! The wife had agreed to pick me up, she didn’t as she was (no surprise there then) late, I headed off to our local Costco, some small provisions and then some fast food for us to have substance before our sojourn, hunting the whale (damn I could have had an It Bites title for a blog, another time), so to speak. We had a great night and stayed out later than I thought we would, it wasn’t unpleasant and I didn’t complain (I know I know) we travelled home and then up the wooden hill to peepy byes!

We slept in, well the wife didn’t she could sleep the day around, but I stayed in bed until 10.30 (WTF) a late ish breakfast and then a nice long bath, after which I had my first shave in fourteen months, baby faced I descended to little interaction (the wife does not like me clean shaven). Then I soldiered on preparing the Sunday lunch, chicken and veg followed by apple pie and some ice cream, I know how to spoil the wife, she went off with a food parcel for the Kraken, I got on with the dishes and noodled ideas for the afore mentioned blog, then with arrival of my own red cross delivery service (if you ever meet the Kraken you would understand) she was soon ensconced on the sofa trying to get interested in a documentary all about the Atlantic ocean ( I watch some good stuff, lol at least it wasn’t panzer porn)there was soon the soft sound of a chainsaw being started and she was soon blinking for longer periods of time  than I ever do, at least I’m nice and I leave her to chase rabbits or whatever she dreams about on the sofa?

Me, well my thoughts have turned back to food, pasta and meatballs for an early supper, it’s been that kind of day, I might even watch some TV stuff with her after I have done the rest of the dishes, I know I am such a good husband, health issues have been…….the same,  it is what it is and unless something changes dramatically I intend to do as I always do, I shall plod on! Hell, I may even rock it up a bit and watch some Countryfile! numbers have been quite good another reason why I hadn’t rushed back to the keyboard, so that’s been my lazy Sunday, I have a couple of cunning plans on the go (writing wise) the money has already dried up so unless something good crops up we may be in for a bit of a dry season, but all is good, I am being positive, well for me I am, and as I post this I will crack on listening to copious amounts of Yes, so watch the skies there will be more incoming, but until then…..Toodles!

Bad medicine

How the devil are you? No blog in over five days, no I hadn’t won the lottery, I had pushed myself a little too hard on the writing front and I nearly pushed myself the wrong way, writing is supposed to help me (trust me it does) but I had nearly overdosed the reading public and numbers were starting to fall off, reader apathy is the last thing that I require. So here goes let’s see if I still know how to do this thing we call blogging (blogging I said not dogging, good grief you are all sick puppies), this particular one is one that has been gestating over the last couple of weeks, I think I just need to get it out there.

Ok so my health is decidedly shit and although I have tried to follow the medical advice I have received, it doesn’t always seem to do the right thing, lets go back to the beginning about 15 years ago, I suddenly started to pile the weight on and I was always warm to the touch, off to the quacks I went and a large number of tests were diagnosed, some very expensive tests and lots of blood work, several diagnosis’s and some medication was prescribed, my condition however did not get any better and still the weight crept on like some kind of tidal monster.

We moved back to Gimpsville, different Dr’s different tests and more medication no further forward, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and basically was told I was a fat bastard and a liar, you can imagine how well that went down, not much help, not much sympathy and basically a war of attrition was started between me and the medical profession, my mental health at this point was also starting to suffer, not in a huge way, but if you have read my blogs you know that it doesn’t need to be much to set the boulders rolling down hill! Some deception on the behalf of my wife got me in to see a sympathetic Dr, who explained the situation in a more sympathetic way, which in itself made me more user friendly and I agreed to collaborate to see what was actually wrong, at this point I was over 21 stone and depressed, very depressed.

I started to attend the wellmans clinic for the over 40’s I wasn’t really getting anything out of it, but I was on my last warning with both my wife and the medical profession, I did what I was told, I was worried and would have tried anything at this point, I was asked for a blood test, to which I dutifully turned up offered my arm and they took what the needed, I then received a letter that stated it was abnormal, so they required another, appointment arranged and arm once more offered, another armful and then yet another letter, Abnormal with a capital A, the day that letter arrived I had a wellmans clinic appointment, so I took the letter with me, I thought I might as well ask, shy bairn’s and all that, well I was the last appointment, I got there the  usual fifteen minutes early, the nurse carrying out the clinic appeared to be a little stressed and was over the moon that I was early so we sat there and did all the things that we would normally do, at the end I was asked if I had any questions, so I offered up my letter and asked if I had anything to worry about?

This was nothing to worry about she would simply have a look at my records, now she was interested, lost in a myriad of blood tests over the previous 12 years, “I think that you are a diabetic! Hang on I need to get a Dr to confirm this” off she wandered like a medical Columbo, she returned with said Dr and together they poured over my results and it was agreed that they thought that I was indeed diabetic, at this juncture the nurse was just a tad annoyed as she reeled off the tests that they had done, all for nothing, one actually cost over £700 to conduct, boy was she steamed at this one, a simple test costing around £13 would have told them what they wanted, to cut a very long appointment short I was given medication for diabetes and told to return within the month.

Now I have to say I didn’t have any of the usual symptom’s of diabetes, the thirst and such like, but the problems started when I started to take the medication prescribed, damn do I have a thirst now, lethargic (no not lazy) generally wiped out, just not well at all, I returned as directed and told the Dr I was going to stop taking the medication as it had just made me feel a thousands times worse, I was instructed to double my dose, this would solve those issues, well they kind of did, but not that much, my blood sugar count that should be 50 – 55 was 96, now some of the awful truth was starting finally show its hand.

A fatty liver was also diagnosed, my feet were stabbed on a regular basis as were my eyes injected with strange drugs that made me look I had taken copious amounts of acid (yeah baby) my eyesight has gotten worse in the years since I was diagnosed, my weight has started to fall, slowly, but all in the right direction, my blood sugar hasn’t I’m now in triple figures, so now to the last lines of defence, I am trying a new medication, that will hopefully slow my pancreas down, if that doesn’t work it will be insulin, the side effects are a little off putting, however it will be something that I will put up with if it does the trick, I actually overdosed myself within the first 24 hours , I wont be making that mistake again, a nice  little dry heave and my breakfast at the side of the road, I’m so glad I wasn’t on the bus that day.

So here I go I eat very little, four square meals and no snacking, as for alcohol its almost none existent and some days my medications conspire against me and turn me in to ten pounds of hammered shit in a five-pound bag, yeah that good. Do I feel better, I’m going to be honest?  Hell no, occasionally I have a bright day but they are few and far between, I take each day as it goes, however I do feel pleased at least they know what it is, so at least we are on the right track, my main goal is to keep losing the weight (slowly is the trick) I don’t expect to get down to eleven stone anytime soon, but I believe you need to have a target and that’s mine! There are other things that are wrong, my mental health for one, which is better than it has been in the last 35 years, still a work in progress (watch this space) my knees are crippled, again the weight lose will help when it gets down to an acceptable figure, my strange allergic reaction where I simply want to peel all the skin off my body that has sprung up out of nowhere, well it appeared after I was diagnosed and prescribed my medication for my diabetes, a coincidence probably, I will let you decide that one! I shall continue to try and steer this leaky boat to a safe harbour!

This particular blog has been gestating for a while I thought I had better regurgitate it, just so that it was out there, out in to the brightness of the spring day that is upon us, normal service is resumed, keep spreading my disease, watch the skies, incoming until the next time…….Toodles!

Duchess

I did a really stupid thing today (what do you mean just today lol), we did a flying visit to see the South Shields Massive and I didn’t take my black book, I thought I would be fine, my memory is a finely honed machine, I can do this, erm no its not lol, so this is a shortened version of an afternoon with some of the nicest people around.

I was put in charge of the operation to get us  there, not in a driving capacity purely from a timing perspective! so we were out the door before three and off to get some motion lotion (that’s petrol to you lot) task completed, we set off in an easterly direction and we chilled all the way there, we went without drawing to much attention to ourselves, no music playing on the way down, some quiet contemplation and a lot of wondering, how was this was going to go? it had been five months since our last visit, life seemed to be conspiring against us lately, but we were flying in low like the dam busters, we didn’t want to take any flak, we had a small window of opportunity, and we intended to make the most of it.

We got there ten minutes before everybody else did (in my opinion, if I’m not there 15 minutes early then I’m late, yes, I know exactly how sad I am) drinks purchased and sat in the correct location, I knew  that there was going to be a few of us ( I didn’t realise that the entire 6^th panzer army was about to invade) we bumped into the friendly nurse of the group and his good lady and as always,  a proper gentleman, asking all the right questions, how we are doing health wise, the day started right, and then more and more peeps arrived, we had picked the biggest table, but we could have easily done with another three that’s how many bodies had turned up, we thought it was going to be quiet gathering (how wrong were we) we did know most of the faces present, but with not being around them for so long thought we would have been left out, not to worry we were as always made welcome.

The Duchess arrived beating G, her man servant with her stick, he loves it, I was worried as some of the party had left their handbags unattended, do they not know G that well or has he been cured/beaten of his addiction? The first vodka tonic arrived and peace returned to the table, then music started playing, me and the wife are deaf you know, casual conversations carried on and there was so much going on, I knew I would never remember everything, however the title came to mind, just popped in there, we used to argue whether was a lady or not, so we finally agreed that after a conversation regarding the lady title, she decided that she was happy with the Duchess title and we agreed that I would stop calling her a lady ….erm NOT! her words not mine, I do like to press that button as often as I can, she has always been a lady to me, so the song sprang into my head (the blog always starts with a song) and now I can’t shake the bloody thing, I actually still have the single as I bought it on the day of release (god I feel old).

G’s beard by this time was on the loose, I’m led to believe it has it’s own manga comic,  damn he nearly took a few peoples eyes out, it has a life all of it’s own, but it could do with being a nice shade of green or blue or purple……..you get were I’m going with this don’t you? it needs enhanced , get it sorted dude, you will be fighting everybody off with a colourful appendage (ooh Matron) at this point the Duchess needed a drink as she had medication to take (it’s easier if she takes it, getting G to swallow something other than alcohol or chicken wings is a bit tricky allegedly) so a lemonade and an alcoholic chaser for the after effects to be diluted were requested, today was not to be that day G arrived back from the bar with just a simple lemonade, it took a party of five to hold her down and to keep the table righted, damn some one nearly called out the riot squad, but the Duchess calmed and acted as she should and sucked it through her straw, all the while plotting the destruction of her man servant, the punishment devised no doubt is too ghastly to write in this blog, all I can is “Gentleman they can rebuild him” G the six million dollar beard!

Lots of questions asked and answered, even the one main question, I’m so glad that the sleepless nights can now be halted! Our short visit soon came to too quick of a conclusion, we said our goodbyes just as a vodka tonic arrived to sooth the raging duchess, we both wished we could have stayed or even visited the members of the posse who we didn’t get to see, I’m sure we will have some cunning plan worked out for those lovely people, on the way home I was accused of being silent, I wasn’t, I was simply trying to remember the pertinent facts of the day, we decided to have some Chinese food for tea (the first of the year) as soon as we got in I put the food on the table while the wife dealt with a mad pooch who had missed us (but could also smell the food) as I frantically scribbled the shite that I had in my head, into the book I should have taken with me in the first place!

Now as we sit in the aftermath of our Chinese food ( and yes the wife had duck)  basking in the afterglow of a lovely afternoon, that finished as quickly as it began, I now have to try and make some sense of the shite that I have scribbled down with the pooch at my feet, I  thought that this was going to be a short blog but we are already past 992 words, so it wasn’t as short as I anticipated,  I have to decide if I need to take my foot off the peddle as I have done nine blogs in the last fortnight, I have no desire to flood the market, I am aware that numbers are dropping off and that usually indicates that I’m killing you all with the amount of written words, so until the next time, enjoy life, tell your friends that you love them, more blogs to come this has been a joint presentation with the South Shields Massive until then ………..Toodles!

Catfish rising

There are some strange people out there! No not strange like me, but people who are really strange, I had a conversation with a real live person, out here in the real world, who is no longer on social media.

This person had all of their photographs and a false account set up in a different name, with all different locations, different family details, every thing was dubious, the name instead of Bob was changed to Rob, the similarities were damn close but this other individual was obviously out there and fishing for females, he claimed he was on the far side of the world, living life to the max, turns out he lived at the end of my mates street, the cheek of it, and he was really successful at collecting women for his harem!

My friend then complained to Farcebook, well you can guess what they didn’t do, they then took absolutely no action at all, they insisted that there had to be more proof than was being offered, and this other guy simply kept casting his net, so my friends wife who up until this time hadn’t been on social media (WTF)  set up an account and got added to this guys harem, it turns  out not only had he mined this guys accounts he had set up another twelve yes you read that right twelve accounts (when did he find the time to work for a living……continued at dontgetmestarted.com)he compiled them from the accounts with the most crossover, so that there were plenty of photographs to share, to make it look as though this one individual was having a whale of a time with all of these people, slowly snaring people into his wake.

So, my friend and his wife slowly started to collect evidence so that they could present the full story to the wonderful people at farcebook, well after seven months, that’s exactly what they did and you know what happened, well him and his wife were banned for snooping on a private individual, they got banned because there are rules against that kind of thing! WTF they got a 30 day ban for their troubles, now as it happens this person thankfully had a lot of friends who complained bitterly and the issue was resolved, I have no idea what this person was getting out of it, I have no idea, as I have said in previous blogs, I’m old fashioned, I have very little idea what people do or want from the technology that is ruling our lives these days.

I like to blog it helps me with my little issues that I have, it also helps me interact (well sort of) with people in the real world (180 people on my page I probably interact with about 10% of them) some people are weird, I shouldn’t have to tell you lot this, guard you and your family, keep safe your profiles, life is too short to have to worry about crap like this, what does my friend do about this, well they gave everything up about social media, they are on no sites whatsoever, maybe that’s the way forward, having said that if that’s true, then nobody will be here to read my drivel, until next time keep safe………..Toodles!