Killer of Giants

Like bloody buses, I don’t have the urge to write for ages then one two three in the space of an hour. Yes, I know I’m an idiot, I have no idea how it works either!

I can say without a doubt the log jam is well and truly broken, possibly the out pouring of kind words from you lot the discerning readers moved my literary bowels so to speak, I have to temper what I actually write though as I want quality not quantity (yeah right) as I finished the blog yesterday my brain was awash with tons of ideas, even if I simply cherry pick two or three that should be ok, I know by publishing this one its going to kill the last one but I’m ok with that, the numbers are more than good and if its like the last couple it will limp  on for a while yet!

Technology was annoying yesterday and is still winning the war today, it doesn’t take much too turn me into an angry man, me a luddite hell yeah! I keep putting my Windows to UK English but whenever it does an update it reverts to American English pfft we came up with it first boys and girls please allow me to attempt to spell it the old-fashioned way (correctly).

I am conscious of the fact that since I have stopped writing I have gone back to devouring the weight of the house on a regular basis, that in itself is not helping me with several issues, my problem I know, but I’m unsure how I can resolve it, I do so well then revert to type! I would rather be happy and hardly eating, than being unhappy and eating the whole planet, yes, I know I seem to have issues, I can’t seem to find the owner’s manual for myself and I don’t know how I can do a permanent reset!

Farcebook is annoying me with adverts and people who I may know, I get great enjoyment deleting the adverts but as for the people well I know what I would like to do, I don’t know them, so I don’t want them on my page, I like being isolated (you may have noticed) I nearly smashed the laptop to bits, but I took a deep breath and went to the pub with nice people………….a win all around!

I have vermin (no not the family the four legged long tail versions) in my loft again and its doing my napper in, I keep putting poison down and they keep eating it then disappearing for a few nights then another one turns up, I need to save some pennies to sort out some chicken wire and some landmines (maybe the last was a tad over the top) after that I’m simply going to blow the house up with an atom bomb (I’m not really but its exasperating) I have used most of the tricks of the trade, I cant wait to move house, where is the lottery win when you need one.

This weeks holiday has not been the best for me for no other reason than I have defeated myself at every turn, I am away from home on a course next week hopefully being busy will help me figure some of this crap out, I know I went for some CBT a few years ago and I still use some of the therapy exercises on a daily basis, I’m a million times better than I was, simply taking new steps every day, I’m not fixed but I tinker with myself everyday (that nearly sounded rude).

As always I have to ask you all to continue whatever you are all doing, click like or share because something is working, the numbers are climbing to a new level nearly every time, I promise I shall be doing a historical blog sooner rather than later, last night as I already stated was lovely we were invited out along the road from some wandering vagabond minstrels that were travelling from far off lands to other locales and gratefully they popped into Gimpsville to see us on their way home, unfortunately the invite came a little too late for food as I was knee deep in making a curry for me and the youngest, the wife doesn’t partake, more for us, yum yum! but we gladly accepted the invite and I decided now was the time to stop my dry year (actually eight months) I haven’t felt any better for not drinking  so me and Jack kept ourselves company last night, with a house call from Dr Vodka for a cheeky nightcap, double yum yum!

The night was over was over far too quickly as always, but cunning plans as always are afoot I’m hoping my spleen has regenerated in time for the weekend ( I have a buyer from Nagoya interested) , actually I might sell my heart as it would appear I don’t have a use for  it! I hadn’t switched the laptop off so when I went to close it I had a message from a friend who was having issues in his life, a brief conversation ensued all in a positive direction, you never know what anybody is going through even if they appear happy on the outside, all I can say to people who are distressed in anyway H.O.P.E – Hold On Pain Ends, and trust me if any of my friends need a shoulder to cry on please reach out  help is literally a heart  beat away, you are never truly alone.

There you go number two number three is simmering but unlikely to be here anytime soon simply because of my jaunt away from home, but there may be a “Now Hear this” before the end of the weekend we will see , it depends on my anxiety levels, me a diva I think not (LOL) so be nice to each other enjoy the time that you have with people and watch the skies I have the bug again, for writing you silly people, the name game was won by…………………….NILS! god damn you had to have googled that one this one is a lot easier and its titled simply because it’s what I was listening to yesterday as I did my prep for this one, so until the next one…………………Toodles.

Behaviour Control Technician.

I know, I know, I know that you have all missed me, the  last blog although hasn’t done the fantastic numbers of the previous few, it has still done well and has been limping along with hits everyday over the last four weeks, and yes I kept using that as an excuse not to write anything, the longer you go the easier it is to leave the page blank, something I seem to be doing a lot lately! In life and in the blogs, go figure.

Yes the name game is as always in play and I suspect you lot will have to google it as I have a feeling that not many will know it, having said that the last one was relatively easy (King Crimson pop pickers) and obviously nobody could be arsed to google that either, having said that if I don’t show that I care why should any of you lot, the discerning reader!

My intention had been to call this one “I Don’t Know” after the Ozzy song (oops did I spoil that one for you?) But I have been playing a lot of this particular artist, simply trying to lift my spirits and have been failing miserably, no not the choice of music, just the way I have felt, no black dog following me, simply wallowing in………….nothingness, hence the reason why no blog of late, I know I said I was going to give my head a shake, but if I shake it much more I’m worried something might just fall out!

I had a week to clear my head from life the universe, and well it would appear that I failed miserably, finances haven’t helped, even though we have been very good, August is always a strange month, I went back to work and yet again life spluttered, lots of great music old and new but nope I was still only firing on two cylinders and not being able to put a finger on it simply makes it worse.

Wandering aimlessly through this thing we call life has been …..meh kind of rubbish, another week of respite and yet my head still isn’t in the best of places, not gaining any traction is kind of dragging me down, lots of lovely people being in contact some with strange and lovely questions for another “Now Hear This” which because of upcoming plans I might just do at posting 450, it all depends on the questions collated or whether I am actually struggling to gather enough prose to post! All of my cunning plans seem to have been holed below the water line and I have even left “The Whalers Dues” alone simply because I do not want to re-infest it with bile, just when you all thought I was just about to post it…………..NOT!

I need to get back on the horse (that’s blogging boys and girls I haven’t bought another pet) so don’t be shocked if you get a couple (yeah right) in the coming weeks, well ok it might be longer as when I go back to work next week I’m away for an educational course and I’m not taking two laptops (work’s and mine) one little black book for notes but nothing electronic that’s not work related! I definitely need to have my head on straight as it’s a hard course, one in which I have been requesting for over six years now, so I better not fail it like the last bloody one.

So I need to work through my tiny list of chores (a few each day rather than one long slog) and then spend the weekend prepping for the (not so ) jolly jaunt away from my home and my loved ones maybe its just what I need, no I’m not blaming my loved ones for my malaise, but I need to up my game and this might just help me.

I have  been bumping into a few old friends over the last few weeks and I have to admit that it has been lifting my spirits when I see them, people I have known for over 30 years and although I live in the same neck of the woods I very rarely seem them, the level of field craft from the people who I live closest to is phenomenal , it was lovely simply to say hello and spend a few minutes interacting, asking how their family and loved ones are doing, I know I need to make the effort more often, maybe if I left the house every now and again that might help, in life and in blog writing. I have even avoided historical blogs as they haven’t helped me, I need to be in a good place to write them otherwise this ship will sink even if I was in shallow water or not! Historical ones seem to take a lot more out of me so to try and write them when I’m not in a happy place is counterproductive.

So, there you have it, finally some written word from me the happy camper from Gimpsville, the fact that I have actually put pen to paper (figuratively speaking) is a step in the right direction, hopefully! Lets see what the coming weeks bring,  I’m not expecting these next few blogs to be sponsored by NASA, a few of the earlier ones have done old school viewing figures and to be honest that did indeed put a smile on this old cynic’s face, even  if just for a couple of minutes, what am I going to do for the rest of the day, well play some more music so hopefully I can be inspired with life or worse case scenario another blog (you never know) so watch the skies for incoming and do what you lot seem to do best  keep spreading the disease, until the next time …………………Toodles!