Yet another bump in the road

And just like that life came to a grinding halt, with something as innocuous as a simple letter, I had been told (in the never ending saga of trying to get a new knee) to suck it up buttercup, but hey lets go back to the beginning and I will tell you the full tale.

In 2011 me and the wife went to a get together with friends in Blackpool, a good night was had by all but sometime as we were walking to the venue my knee did something it shouldn’t have and it caused me a lot of pain, it didn’t stop the night, but I was in quite a bit of pain, but I soldiered on, like the good soldier that I am, the pain eased the next day but it continued over the next couple of weeks, it got so bad that I eventually went to the DRs, because I had Bupa through work I was seen by a surgeon and had an operation in under two weeks cue 13 weeks of rehab, and I got on with my life, however the place that I worked at wasn’t helping, concrete floors, on site 6/7 days a week covering 24000 + steps a day, well lets just say it didn’t help my knees, it was simply the start of a long road of pain!

Fast forward 11 years I decided to go back to see another Dr, as I was really suffering, hoping to be told (as I still had Bupa at the time) that I could as see the surgeon again, only to be told “no they wont do anything for you as you are still too young”(I was 57 at the time) and for some stupid reason I believed him and simply cracked on like a good little boy, fast forward to a couple of years and I gave in, as I was slowing down to a snails pace and in pain on a daily basis. I didn’t see a Dr this time I saw what’s known as a nurse practitioner, she asked me a couple of questions including what painkillers I take (erm none if I can avoid them) and she said (another stupid man) then she asked the most important question “why have you waited so long?” so I told her all about the previous visit, she asked which Dr and I told her who and what was said, she wasn’t happy and she went and told said Dr in no uncertain terms, I was in the army and took a couple of tellings off, I never took anything like that, ooh how I chuckled, she then started the ball rolling, of course I had to do physio, that didn’t help, I then fell out with a surgeon, when I asked a question and the member of staff went to ask, she got abused by him and I stood up to him and that didn’t go down well with him, more appointments and an appointment to give me a plan of attack I had to lose 10 kilo’s before my next appointment.

I had three months to my next appointment, I had to lose the weight over Christmas, deep joy because of my knees I can’t exercise like I would be able to, I ate very simply, steamed veg with chicken or fish, I wasn’t naughty I behaved and when I went back I had actually lost 17 kilo’s I could have my new knee, hopefully in May, then everything went upside down, issues regarding surgical cement hit the whole world, I knew there would be issues, then I got radio silence, until I got a call from a clinic to prepare me for my op, it should happen 12 weeks after that, then nothing and all the while I keep getting worse, at the end of my clinic I was advised to contact my GP and see if she could send a letter to find out what was happening, and again radio silence was maintained for about 4 weeks, when I was informed that a reply had been received, and this is what pissed me off, I wasn’t asking to jump the queue I was simply asking where I was in the queue, I was in serious pain and suffering as I had had no contact other than an anonymous text asking me if I still wanted the operation, what do they think, no its a miracle my knee has repaired itself, good grief are these people for real?

What was in the letter, well basically I have to suck it up and wait your turn, OK it wasn’t that blunt but that’s what they meant, I had been sucking it up for over 4 years, and as I said previously I wasn’t trying to jump any queue I was simply after some communication, I was simply gobsmacked at the callousness of the reply very little human emotion in the letter, surgeons really do have the god complex, well this one appears to think he is! I had had a conversation with a friend from another NHS trust who gave me some advice that I thought I would never need, after my anger subsided I sent him a text, to which he give me a call and said all the right things, he said he would have a word, he calmed me down and we chatted about nothing but music and general chit chat, he certainly cheered me up, he went to work the next day and got me added to his surgeon’s friends list, at the back of the list I may add, I certainly haven’t jumped the queue, but I could be potentially seen by January next year not the following year, I have to see my GP so she can send a letter transferring me to me that list, fingers crossed, I have written this missive to share not just my frustration but the rest of the population are probably suffering as well, and I have a cunning plan that I will write about on another date.

So hopefully, this shall get me back on track, both blog wise and hopefully health wise, watch this space, so stay safe and stay alive until the next one ………….Toodles!

Five Truths

Some people treat their birthday as they would any other day. That does not mean they begrudge anyone else their celebration; they have simply chosen not to mark their own in the same way. For me, that outlook rests on five personal truths.

1. Strength Can Begin in Simplicity

Since childhood, I have rarely celebrated my birthday. Growing up in a one-parent family, I saw how hard my mother worked to afford even the simplest things. The strain took its toll on her and, in different ways, on my brother and me. We did not complain; we simply wanted what was best for her. I learned not to place too much importance on special occasions, because they could bring pressure as easily as joy. When you grow up with very little, you learn not to miss what you have never had. Life simply carries on.

2. Peace Is Its Own Celebration

I am naturally low-maintenance. Gifts, parties and noise have never mattered greatly to me. I enjoy being with family and friends, but I do not need to be the centre of attention. I also value my own company. Sometimes, genuine peace is the most meaningful celebration of all. Not everyone will understand that—and they do not need to.

3. Give More Than You Receive

I have always preferred helping others to receiving things myself. We live somewhat on the outskirts and do not see people often, but distance does not lessen my commitment to those I care about. My wife is navigating some difficult circumstances, and I hope I am helping her through them. The same is true for my family and anyone I consider a friend: it may take me a while to get there, but if I can help, I will. Some people see me as strong, although I am not always sure that I am. What I do know is that I will make myself available when someone needs me. When it is my turn to need support, however, I find it difficult to risk feeling like a burden.

4. Learn to Create Your Own Happiness

Ultimately, each of us must learn what genuinely brings us contentment. It took me time to understand that. I savour a quiet meal and moments alone, but I also treasure time with family and friends. I am not as insular as I once was. These days, I can be equally happy in good company or in the stillness of my own space. Solitude is not loneliness; sometimes it is simply where we find balance.

5. Measure Life by Progress, Not Dates

For me, another year is not really about cake or candles. It is about whether I have grown, learned or achieved something meaningful. A birthday may mark another journey around the sun, but the passing of time matters less than what we do with it. We all need a sense that we are moving forward; otherwise, what is the journey for?

This is not intended to sound dour. It is simply my attempt to explain how I see life, family and friendship. I was once far more withdrawn, and I have experienced many highs and just as many lows. Much of that came from my own state of mind rather than from the people around me. A few people have asked about me and about my philosophy on life. I am not sure this qualifies as a philosophy, but it is honest: value people, offer help when you can, find peace within yourself, and judge the years not by the dates that pass, but by the person you are becoming.

How does that sit with everyone who asked questions, no the name game is not in play, but my notes are pretty close to the actual blog as i wrote this as a stream of consciousness on public transport, i have to admit that i enjoyed writing this truthful missive, i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did, the first of the month, watch this space, but until then.........Toodles! 

Fluff

It has been pointed out to me that most the stuff that I appear to write these days is “Fluff”! At no point in time have I ever said that the scribblings of this old man are anything but fluff, I simply put down on the page whatever is floating the clouds in my brain, I mean this is going to be fluff, I don’t care it is what it is, I have a long list of stuff that I want to write about, but if a spark is fired then lets get the word down, and if I like I will post it!

This is not above solving the problems of the greater issues, this is simply me staying in touch with my reality, life is not always great and I have had some horrible moments in my past that I thought I would never get over, thankfully at this moment I am in a good spot so if I do write some drivel, I mean fluff I believe I’m entitled , I do strive to write something meaningful at all times however that’s simply something can not be controlled, life is what it is and we have no control over it, we all can simply do one step at a time and then hope that we reach our destination safely.

However at times when you think that you are heading in the right direction, a small speedbump however can send you spiralling off the road into arguments with people, some who matter some who don’t, when it spirals like this to be honest I really don’t care, the old me appears and then its not fluff that gets spewed, the world and his dog can go and get fucked, it also shows in my writing, as a number of people have picked up that my writing appears to be “happier” its quite astonishing how people who have never physically met me seem to know me, probably better than I know myself.

I would like to have more of a footing in the real world, but what with work and my health issues and family pressures it appears that is not likely to happen anytime soon, but I will keep writing, its all that I can do, for me myself and my sanity, what little I have left, so if its fluff I post go with the flow, its where I am at that particular moment in time, there’s not really a lot that I can do about it, some people have said that the more I post the fluffier it gets, the more sporadic I post the more “real” it seems, to be honest I have no idea what they mean, I have flows and ebbs regarding what I post there’s not a lot I can do about that.

So life goes on, a small missive to keep me happy as this was in my head as I started typing, this was fired from the hip so to speak, stay safe stay alive, this will appear at some time, I don’t know when hopefully on a day when I am slightly happier, (I was happy when I started, I wasn’t by the time I finished)watch the skies for incoming, but until then …..Toodles!

Four on the Floor – Top Ten Album Covers.

In no particular order here are ten albums covers that impressed me as a kid and I do mean as a kid, as I have grown my tastes have changed, I like what I like, do I like all of the albums musically, mmm some of them I love some of them I’m not bothered about, but the album covers are stunning, some bands are missing in action, I love Queen and I like the artwork of most of the albums “like” being the operative word. I love most of the Iron maiden albums covers and Mark Wilkinson artwork for both Fish and Marillion and many other artistes, again there’s nothing here from them. So lets delve into my youth and see if there's anything that you like!

1. Blue Oyster Cult – On Your Feet or on Your Knees 8.5/10, the first album I bought with my own money, (Tubular Bells at a charity shop doesn’t count) there’s just something sinister about the cover, I had a huge poster from Callers in Newcastle I was there when they took it down in the shop and my mum asked them for it, if I had asked they probably would have told me to bugger off, but my mum asked and I got it rolled and put in a tube, it took one whole wall in my bedroom, I had a girlfriend who didn’t like to visit me simply because of that poster (LOL).

2. ELO – Out of the Blue 8/10. An album cover that’s quite simple (unlike the music) but whenever I see it it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling, again an album of its time and a time when I was usually happy, I know me with my reputation, times were good just like this album!

3. UFO – Obsession 9/10. what an album, what a cover they both blew my mind , I already liked the band, but this simply took it to another level and it took me a while to realise that the artwork was actually the bloody band, why only 9 out of ten, well about 20 years ago I went to an exhibition of alternative artwork and this was there in a multi colour version of this that was simply stunning!

4. Wishbone Ash – Live Dates 7.5/10. an album my brother had and I always wanted this as a

t- shirt, I love the art and I do like the music, I did see this as a t-shirt for sale in the USA but it wasn’t worth $80, but I was tempted, I do go back to the album from time to time, but the artwork has stuck with me.

5. Kansas – Point of Know Return 8.5/10. I kept seeing this album cover long before I ever heard it, but the second I heard it, I had to devour everything that I could, still one of the only bands I wanted to see that I never got to, and yes I do play most of the mid 70’s back catalogue of this band I simply loved Steve Walsh’s voice!

6. Tom Robinson Band – Power in the Darkness 9/10. The album cover that was the first thing painted on my school haversack (it was a 70’s thing) the album came with a stencil (which is now worth more than the album) I played this album non stop when it came out, the next thing on my haversack was The dickies logo, it lasted a fortnight before I repainted the TRB logo, that shows you how easy the stencil was to use because I did it myself (the second time) and it stayed for the rest of my school days!

7. The Skyhooks – Guilty until Proven Insane 8/10. the cover made me buy the album, I paid £1 for it my local shop cut out bin (I used to by a lot from there as I was always skint) and I loved the whole album, I knew nothing about the band but I played it a couple of times a week (and I still do) about a month after I bought this, a band called Iron Maiden released a cover of Women in Uniform that came from this album, I prefer the Skyhooks version.

8. Molly Hatchet – Debut 9/10. their best album but the album artwork by Frank Frazetta turned me onto the artwork of this fab artist, who I unknowingly had liked his previous album artwork ( Nazareth) good album great artwork.

9. The Scorpions – Lovedrive 9/10. At the time I thought that this was a weird cover (just about all of the Scorpions album artwork was) however similar to the UFO album, the band was on fire as was the artists, this album artwork was produced by Hipgnosis as were quite a few of this list and a lot of wonderful other artists, the album kicked the band out into the stratosphere I think the album cover helped.

10. Judas Priest – Killing Machine 9/10. I love this album cover (and all of the music) I do actually like quite a few Judas Priest album covers (there’s a couple of stinkers as well) this just about brought the decade to a close, things from here went through the roof and again if I went through the decades I probably compile a top one thousand covers, no I have no intention of doing this, don’t worry I know I do wander off the beaten track from time to time but with this I can assure you that I will stray this time!

Now this was all about the covers not the music , mind you I do like all of the albums, some of them I love, believe it or not 99% of the time covers have not influenced my buying pedigree of music, but that 1% of the albums I have bought based on a cover and not knowing anything about that band all of them have have been fantastic! Now what to blog about next time, you will just have to wait and see but until then …….Toodles!

Greatest Hits.

I have been watching a couple of podcasts of late and a couple of made an impression, with peeps saying top tens and the such like, I had a little time so I put pen to paper (so to speak).

Favourite Comedian – Billy Connolly, I have him seen more than any other comedian, and I have never seen the same show twice, (26 gigs in total), I do like a lot of American comedians, but this man to me is the King of Comedy!

Most Inspiring Sportsperson – Gordon Banks, still my favourite goal keeper and the person who really did inspire me to want to take part in sports, it was soon decided I was too small to be a goal keeper, so I became a defender, I believe people should get paid for what they deliver, however I think that the modern day sports people are paid obscene amounts, maybe that should be a full blog for later!

Favourite piece of classical music – I do like classical music but there’s a lot I have no idea what they are called or who the composer was, but to be honest the piece I will go with is O Fortuna by Carl Orff, if you don’t know it, its the piece that Ozzy used as an opener, I liked it before that I will say that the rest of the opera that it’s taken from is rather dull!

Favourite Song – Rainbow Stargazer, I honestly thought I would struggle with this one but no this popped straight into my mind and every other song I thought of that I pitted it against Stargazer, however not one single song could compete, this eight minutes of superb majestic rock music, it was also my mothers favourite song “play the song about the wizard” sill makes me smile!

Favourite Style of films – now this one I did struggle with this one, but it has to be British Movies, predominately Black and White classics, way too many to mention, I will be honest and if you ask on another day I might have another answer, watch this space!

Favourite Book – now this one did indeed give me a massive headache and I have bounced backwards and forwards between so many including in no particular order Taipan – James Clavell, Magician by Raymond E Fiest anything by James Elroy, Stephen King and so on and so on, but I’m going to stick with the three books that I learnt to read as a child and its by Enid Blyton The Magic Faraway Tree series, the first and still simply the best!

Favourite Actor – male or female I have no idea who I would or even could nominate for this position again I would probably nominate people from the golden era, so I’m going to raise a white flag and cop out of this one, there is simply way too many great actors!

Favourite Singer – Freddie Mercury, listen to the first seven Queen albums unbelievable, the later albums are good but the seeds were sown here, and he can sing any style, nuff said!

Work Of Art – I have no idea, I know what I like, I know what I don’t like and with this I mean classical art pieces, I do like modern artists (Mark Wilkinson) but I am going to go with Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh!

Favourite type of food – I like all styles, I haven’t come across much that I don’t like, but I would say home made Egg and Chips again purely from a nostalgia point of view, it is what it is

Lets see if I think the same in a years time!

Falling Apart at the Seams.

Another one about the fact that my body is quite literally falling apart at the seams (and yes the name game is in play) I had an appointment today for my diabetic feet testing, oh the joys of getting old!

As I sat in the waiting room, as always I was on time, as was the nurse, now that was a surprise, I was treated like a human being and the nurse was on point with all of my queries while conducting the testing, the appointment was what the NHS used to be all about, time taken to understand the persons needs, it wasn’t a conveyor belt type of appointment, time was taken and the appointment was a joy, well apart from when she attacked my feet with a machete, OK so I’m joking, but I hate being touched by other people (me weird oh hell yeah) I had a couple of semi serious questions (nothing life threatening) stuff that I wanted to talk to a health professional rather than looking stuff up on Google, yes the answer to all of my queries, the reply was “diabetes” for all of them. Oh nope hang on one of the answers was “Cellulitis” a hold back from a cheap holiday about twelve years ago, it flares up every now and again usually when I’m tired.

Oh boy am I tired, at the moment it feels like I haven't had a decent nights sleep in years, for about the last 18 months I have averaged around four hours sleep a night, the problem I have is once I’m awake that’s it I have to get up, that then knocks my whole day off kilter, when I get up I have my breakfast my dinner is usually around nine in the morning I try to go as long as I can, but once hunger sets in, my heads in my bait box looking for something to eat, I have my evening meal usually as soon as I get home and then its the long ride through until bedtime and then back to my four hours sleep, I do wake up feeling refreshed for a short period of time, I will admit to being rather tired after eighteen months of a sleep pattern that’s not very helpful to my health.

I was doing my walking through the house on Tuesday morning, in the dark so not to disturb anybody who is still in the land of nod, and as I walk like a bloody penguin, I accidentally kicked something hard there on the landing in the dark! Ouch was not the four lettered word that sprang to mind, my toe was badly bruised (and still is) but thankfully isn’t sore any more, typical of the little injuries that you pick up when you are wandering in the house in the dark.

I had my little incident because I fell over (see the blog Scream) which shook my sense of invincibility and that set my old neck and shoulder injury off, thankfully I didn’t bruise my forehead or smash the toilet with my thick skull, over the years I have had a number of similar injuries minor nicks and bruises that always seem to resurface at the worst time to remind me I’m not as invincible as I like to think that I am! Over the years the little niggles have generally gotten bigger with time and the fact I never went to get them fixed when I should have.

Oh the big things the broken bones, I’m not that dumb, I hobbled to the quacks as quick as my body would allow, but the niggles I never went, stupid then and regretting it these days, but we all learn the hard way, actually I’m not sure that I learn, we will see how it goes once I have my new knee, I will make sure that I get to stick with my rehab so that I can get on with life, all I do know is if it doesn’t happen soon, there will be further issues as my old and ancient body breaks down.

There are other maladies that I am having additional tests for at the moment, nothing specific or being spoken about until they have all of the details, I’m not too worried because the Dr doesn’t seem to be too bothered, they are simply being super cautious because of my age and already existing health conditions, I will go with the flow until the bell tolls and they can finally nail the arse of what ever is causing said issues, what is annoying is the fact that mentally, this is possibly the brightest spot of the last five years, I am trying really hard to be a more positive person, I’m not saying that I’m perfect and I’m also not saying I haven’t had some small blips, well because that would be a lie, I’m not happy with my sleep patterns (as already discussed) which to be truthful are usually pretty crap, there doesn’t seem to be any answers as to why over the last eighteen months I wake up after fours hours, I have done all the tricks, taken all the supplements (magnesium and the such like) last night I had the best sleep of this year, I had roughly seven and a half hours of sleep, helped by the fact I had drank rather a large quantity of vodka last night, I certainly don’t want that to be the answer, not that I don’t want to have a drink, but I have a tendency to get the munchies when I have had a drink, I am trying to watch my weight as I want my knee operation, too much of the munchies and the weight will come back on, a very vicious circle.

So there you go, another blog and the one thing that the sleepless nights has been doing is helping me write more than I have been, that can only be good for the blog, so stay safe stay alive and keep watching the skies the intention is to try and do a blog (or at least publish ) every five to six days, I know I’ve said that before lets just see how good I can keep the promise of delivering plenty of blogs, until the next one…………..Toodles!

Four on the Floor – 1982.

 There were so many albums that were released in this year that I thought I would struggle to pick four, but I did quite easily, now don’t get your knickers in a twist, this is my choice, you will have your choice, if you do start your own blog, you might simply enjoy writing about it, you might also get a large amount of abuse for your choices, don’t say I didn’t warn you if you do!

Tygers of Pan Tang – The Cage. 8/10.

Quite a swerve from previous albums they went all polished and added keyboards and tried to go a little bit like Queen, it nearly died a death as the band had a full album of material already written with John Sykes (the demo’s are out there) one track survives the cover Love Potion no9 , its a cracking cover but to me feels out of place on the album, the record label spent money to get a “name” producer Peter Collins (Rush, Gary Moore, Nik Kershaw to name but a few) the band were struggling to come up with songs, they turned to Steve Thompson who is from my neck of the woods, and who I did converse regarding song writing wise around the same time period, he was very helpful, the songs on here were a little poppy, the only issue for me is the opener Rendezvous, I think it was slightly too “poppy” I could have done without the syn drums at the start, a lot of the songs are around the three minute mark, I like the album, however it all turned to crap after the tour, they regrouped but it never hit the heights of this album.

Asia – Asia (debut). 8.5/10.

A supergroup that everybody said would end in failure, they turned in the biggest selling rock album of the year in the USA (10 million copies worldwide and still sells), a great debut produced by Mike Stone, 9 tracks of superb muscular music, there’s not a bad track on the album, ride easy which didn’t make the album being a b side and it really is, they only did a gig at Wembley in the UK, with a juggler as a support act, again it didn’t last the second album was rushed with John Wetton leaving / being sacked halfway though that tour with Greg Lake stepping in (the video is on YouTube) and at the end of the tour Wetton was back and Steve Howe had gone as well, I personally prefer the third album(Astra) but on this album they simply didn’t put a foot wrong , great cover, great album, great band!

Judas Priest – Screaming For Vengeance. 9/10.

They have never made a really bad album (maybe the debut) there have been some bumps in the road, Point of Entry was probably a little poppy for the rock crowd (although the tour for that album was so good) they regrouped to Ibiza and recorded a classic, nine tracks, one cover, one instrumental, a great cover, there was nothing wrong at all with this album, why 9/10 well the hit single outstayed its welcome (for me) I like the song, but it’s just the only track they ever seem to play, my issue was the home tour which was at the tail end of a massive world tour with around seven months in the States and Canada, a lot of UK fans felt neglected, it was worth the wait, Quiet Riot supporting, the city hall full to the gunnels probably the best gig in Newcastle for me, and they played some awesome gigs there up until this point,

Iron Maiden – The Number of the Beast. 9.5/10.

I love the first two albums, but to me this was when the blue touch paper was lit, Martin Birch cracked the whip and the band took the bit between their lips and ran with it, 8 awesome tracks the band hated invaders and wanted to put the B – side Total Eclipse on the album, I’m glad they didn’t as it was a bit of a plodder, the fact they still play half of the album live (and in the original key says so much), I go back to this album more than the current crop of albums (and I still like those albums) but I would love them to get back to the short sharp punch of this song style, this album, a short review simply because there is so little wrong to pick to pieces, is it perfect, no, but it’s as near as you can get it dammit.