Onwards

This is not the blog I have been working on, this is just a brief note, a stay of execution you could say, so that I can tell the world that I love my wife, we have been together 25 years and we have been through some good and some bad times but we have always been there for each other, sometimes high sometimes low, we argue, we bitch, we moan but guess what we still love each other.

I know I have been a milestone these last couple of years and sometimes you would rather cry than smile, but you always have picked me up and this my way of being thankful,a small way of saying I will be there to pick you up, even when people let you down, you know I will be there for you, (actually that probably isn't helping) but you know what I mean.

I promise I will always do my best for you and our children and our grandchildren hell even the Kraken, I feel as though I have dragged you away from a mainstream population, but I promise I will do everything in my power to make things better.............Cliché

The next blog should be here on Monday depends on how I feel when I get up, and so as always ......onwards until the next time ............Toodles!

And yes the name game is in play!

Telephone Line

Did I mention that the wife broke her phone, did I mention that she had to use mine for seven days and that she used it more in seven days then I had in an entire two years, we were counting down to getting a new phone, I was contemplating simply using my works phone but that would have meant that I was connected to work 24/7 365days and the wife wasn’t happy about that, neither was I, if I’m being honest, I don’t converse with a lot of people not sure why I simply don’t, I have a lot of friends I don’t think I’m very much a talker (unless you set me off about music) I only have a mobile so the wife can check up on me for 24 hours (sins of the previous husband) hey ho if that what she needs to do (get a life Mrs).

So anyway she drops her phone and the phone splits from the corner (oops) she then turns into the Pyscho bitch from hell it’s as if she has had her hand chopped off as well as her ear ripped from head (good god woman it’s just a phone) I thought she was a member of the Borg Collective, resistance was futile, after a healthy dose of Valium, I explained she could actually use mine, this brought her off the ceiling, we were going to have to call an exorcist after all.

We then went through seven days of hell, even though she had my phone and boy did she use it I checked the log, she damn nearly melted the battery (LOL) maybe that’s why I have so many issues, it’s good to talk, we spent seven days checking what she wanted, as always she wanted to be like the sheep and have a Banana (work it out I won’t advertise for them)  looking at all the packages all the deals, twisting her insides to pulp worrying over her deal, I took all of two minutes, nothing wrong with the phone I had after two years, just that’s the nature of the beast, I was downsizing my package to keep the wife as close to her package as possible, I was also going with a Microsoft phone similar to what I have for work possibly the best phone I have ever had, mind you I am a luddite, but you already knew that.

The wife and daughter turn up at the allotted time we go to the shop, I thought the wife was going to burst into tears she was so happy, I actually got the better deal because the actual phone I wanted wasn’t available online (where I was doing my reconnaissance for the new deal) in the shop the helpful chap said ah we don’t do that line online but we do in store, a result for a change, I’m so lucky I would fall into a barrel of nipples and I would come out sucking a thumb!

So here we are six days after the event and the wife is still seventh heaven, me I’m ok but at the end of the day it’s just a phone, I thought I would do a little blog as I’m working up to do something epic and its taking a little longer than I thought and Now Hear This 2 has to come first, the wife’s at work all day so today shall be music and reading along with a small number of chores I have a hell hound at my feet a shit load of reading materials and a boat load of music. for me that’s a good day I know I ain’t going outside but hey ho one step at a time right? So until next time watch the skies and keep spreading the disease………...Toodles

Don't Fear The Reaper

So here we are day one after seven days of hell, I think I was supposed to wake up happy, guess what I didn’t, I do think however that I did put a brave enough face on, as the wife didn’t beat me about the head and shoulders. The wife was working for most of the week (although not today) so I could feel that this was going to be another week of hatred self-loathing and generally wishing for oblivion. I trudged through the day doing general tasks, stuff that I would normally do, stuff that I have no issue with, the issue was me.  The wife returned from her hunting expedition (Monday is shopping day) and I generally just hid in the darkness of the back room I didn’t do any of the things I intended to do, when it was time to walk up the wooden hill at the end of the night I did so with general misery seeping through my bones. The wife then breaking her phone and then going into strop mode didn’t help my general hate the world mood!

Day two I awoke and to my astonishment I was kind of happy…….OK I mean in my bones I wanted to stay angry, but it simply wasn’t in me, my mood improved after I had some breakfast, did a good deed and took the youngest off on the start of her holiday away from us, I read a little I watched the news a little (I devour the news when I’m off) and generally continued on with my small chores, I ate some more but then the world went all skewwhiff on me, I was asked to go and pay a bill, by myself , all alone, I was thrown from a moving vehicle and I rolled into the post office right into the queue with the old dears, damn I even had cold hard cash in my hand, to pay a bill, I could have gone ballistic in Barry’s Bargains (please don’t ask) I stood my ground and did as I was asked and then ambled back home still in a reasonable mood, how was this happening especially after the doom laden Monday, I have no idea.

 Day three I awoke to sunlight and again surprisingly more general happiness, not wanting to break into song happiness, not wanting to skip down the street, but kind of ok with myself (WTF)  again I was given another task to complete straight away I went back into grumpy mode, but in reality it was all a show , I got on with the job in hand and then just got back on with the day in hand read a little watched a little and then ate a little something and it wasn’t head buried in the fridge eating crap type of eating it was healthy and at proper meal times, I was starting to worry.

Day four was meant to be a joyous time, I had been tipped the wink about a great little farm shop in the area, so we had agreed that I would take the wife out on her one day off for breakfast and a waltz around the farmyard, I had done all of the reconnaissance, the one thing I couldn’t find was prices (not a good sign) I just didn’t want to turn up like tramp begging cup in hand and having to use my card to hide my financial embarrassment, yup you guessed it I had to use the card it was lovely , it just wasn’t cheap, again I’m not complaining its very rare that me and the wife do this kind of thing, it was a nice change, she even got to see the little piggy’s in the sty, of course I killed the mood when wondered out loud “wonder which is next for breakfast” then a jaunt around the local country roads which confirmed to the wife she is married to a country bumpkin, the rest of the day was more of the same, reading a little, watching a little and definitely eating some more, happiness levels were at around 40 - 45% which for me is pretty damn good.

Friday came and gathered pace but I wasn’t done in the dumps, and that shocked me, I even tried to tempt myself into misery I simply couldn’t do it damn what the hell is wrong with me, we picked the daughter up from her jolly jaunt and soon we all ensconced into our happy little home.

Saturday unfortunately turned up with a bog black dog something I wasn’t happy to see, that Black dog showed no mercy and Saturday I was back to being Mr Misery, no change there then but it was something I wasn’t expecting, even the start of the football season couldn’t cheer me up I had to wait 48 minutes until Charlie Nicholas said “Situation” (again don’t ask unless you are sad and really want to know). The day dragged on and even the arrival for a visit from the Hurricane did little to raise my spirits although I do try a little harder when he’s here, he’s too young to know how shit life is when you get older (although after the hand he has been dealt with I think he already knows) once more I was glad to be climbing the wooden hill.

Sunday I opened one eye in the vain hope that there would be no black dog, thankfully there wasn’t, there must have been some kind of residue as the wife was concerned enough to ask me if I was alright, and she wanted to enjoy her day off with her melancholy husband, once the Hurricane had been returned home and the Kraken had had some face time the wife decided that because we weren’t doing a good deed for the youngest (plans change on a minute to minute basis with her) she would treat me to lunch! We opted for our local spoons and the wife got an alcoholic drink for a change, me I went for lime & soda, I suffered for it soon afterwards, we had forgotten that spoons don’t do a traditional Sunday dinner and there was over a dozen places to go but that meant taking the car, so we tucked into steak and kidney pie with chips and peas and it was quite lovely, as always me time with the wife makes me that little bit happier.

Arriving home and declaring to the world that I intended to blog as the Lime from the lime and soda went through me like a freight train (I like it strong but I think there might have only two or three drops of actual soda water in the glass) I spent the rest of the afternoon being reminded exactly what my arse is actually for, thankfully by early evening it had died down but I felt like a shot puppy for the rest of the day and was glad yet again to hit the hay.

This morning I woke up kicking myself that the blog hadn’t been done and that I hadn’t won the lottery so that meant I had to go to work, thankfully the wife was getting her new phone tonight and hopefully that will make her once again (I doubt that……..coming dear). So that’s the blog and it wasn’t the ball of misery I thought it was going to be, I’m generally miserable because we are living on the bare bones of our pants (I know do the crime do the time) but I don’t work as hard as what I do, just to get as little as what I actually get, the wage is ok it’s the paying of bills and buying food that I’m not exactly happy about, my next holiday and I’m determined not to be writing another blog of general unhappiness and being stuck in the house I want at least one out of body experience, so until next time ……Toodles!

Doctor Doctor

Another week rolled into town and as always with a week from hell (7days in a row) things soon turned too poop, things that technically were out of my hands, but shit has to roll downhill and this time it stopped at my front door!

Because work (for once) was so crap I’m simply going to try and forget it I now have seven days leave, I intend to try and relax (yes I know virtually impossible with my posse) right in the middle of last week I had a hospital appointment, I think it’s that particular day that I will try and describe, not a particularly good day but better than the rest.

I had gone to my doctor with an issue (non diabetes related) and he had prescribed some medication and it worked, simply cleared up the issue, woo hoo I hear you all cry, I knew it wasn’t meant to be a permanent fix but hey ho with everything else in my line of sight it was soon forgotten about, take the tablet issue has gone……. well not quite! Earlier in the year it reared its ugly (and allegedly it is very ugly) head again, so off I went expecting to have my dosage upped, however the doctor I saw was the one who had been missing my diabetes for eight years, so instead of just upping the dose, “I want some tests done” he declared! Now I wasn’t happy at all.

We waited (me and my wife who is my social secretary and the person who deals with all of my appointments and social gatherings) and a letter finally arrived giving us a choice of 4 places to attend one being over 30 miles at one end of the spectrum with another one being literally a mile from my door (you can see where this heading can’t you) yes that’s right even though I requested the closest hospital they sent me to the furthest, I then unleased my mini kraken (the wife) and thankfully got the appointment that I required, although I was put to the back of the queue and made to wait 8 weeks, the day finally came and I left work to head back to Gimpsville to arrive on time for my appointment, with a cascade of crap going on around me I knew what was coming but I was grateful of the reprise.

I managed to get home earlier than expected a quick wash and a change I checked the time table for my preferred plague carrier of the day I had a choice get there really early or get there just on time I opted for the earlier option, seven minutes later I am walking through the doors of the hospital, directed to a huge waiting area within seconds I was whisked away to another smaller area, where  upon I had the usual little things done (Weight Height etc) and then I waited, and then waited some more, all the while watching as all of the staff did sponsored walks, have you ever noticed how all of the staff just walk in circles they must cover miles, there was a guy who must have been a porter and holy crap he was of Olympic standard. Then there was a person who I thought was my doctor who scuttled off and didn’t reappear, however the nursing staff kept on walking and walking.

By now I’m annoyed (because I was early) at the world and everything else, and the little waiting room is starting to fill up, and my paranoid angry head is starting to fill my head with notions of running for it! and the nursing staff kept walking around, sometimes with bits of paper and other pieces of hospital paraphanalia, all the while my paranoia was feeding itself, no back up support I was there by myself and I wanted to get the hell out of dodge, still I waited (the curse of turning up early) punctuality is a disease with me, then the anointed hour was upon us and still no sign of my appointment being called. More staff walking and at this point I really was getting ready to bolt, then I had to put up with “it’s a lovely day isn’t it?”  “no” was the reply to which they reversed course muttering how horrible I was, out of the corer of my eye I saw the person who I thought was the doctor skulking back, late grrr and still I waited, I was watch watching and giving myself just 5 more minutes, then the most handsome doctor in the world walked in and he knew it, if he’s my doctor I was going to blast him for being late, literally I was called soon after to find out it was skulky boy, I won’t go into details I had the appointment and was nearly out the door just as the consultant asked “for a full raft of tests” just to be sure (the bastard) I then got called back for a blood test (with a needle that could have been used in Zulu it was so bloody big) I then trotted (yes you read that right this little piggy trotted)out of the hospital and hopped back onto a plague carrier (empty thankfully) and 7 minutes later I walked through the front door, still wondering why the nurses did all that walking.

The wife returned from work not very well (it was later discovered she hadn’t taken her medication in the morning ……. silly woman) life wasn’t a bowl of cherries at that moment, but I cooked for everybody and we enjoyed a nice meal in our own little way, me brooding over life the universe and everything, the wife in her poorly little ways and the youngest in whatever mood she was in, you can never tell she is so much like me she runs silent and runs deep!

I spent the rest of the night bopping from point to point and not really relaxing, I wrote the salient points of the blog to be worked on over the weekend, I read a little and eventually ended up watching Iron Maiden live at Wacken, back to work the next day and then the weekend which I was dreading simply because I hate dealing with stupid people, thankfully none turned up until I was literally walking out the door, they were given short shrift although it did grumble on when I got home it was nothing to worry about as I did my usual impression of a zombie in a chair!

Today is the start of my 7 days off, the wife is at work for most of it and I can already see that I’m going to fester, broke already at the beginning of the month and certain people don’t seem to care they just keep piling on the pressure, yeah it’s probably best if the wife is at work and the youngest goes off on her little jaunt, I have the seeds of destruction in my pocket, its times like these I used to go walkabout so not to upset anybody, I don’t have that option anymore so I have to suffer the consequences, hopefully I will turn the corner and the black dog will have fucked off, here’s hoping  until the next one Toodles!