Don't Fear The Reaper

So here we are day one after seven days of hell, I think I was supposed to wake up happy, guess what I didn’t, I do think however that I did put a brave enough face on, as the wife didn’t beat me about the head and shoulders. The wife was working for most of the week (although not today) so I could feel that this was going to be another week of hatred self-loathing and generally wishing for oblivion. I trudged through the day doing general tasks, stuff that I would normally do, stuff that I have no issue with, the issue was me.  The wife returned from her hunting expedition (Monday is shopping day) and I generally just hid in the darkness of the back room I didn’t do any of the things I intended to do, when it was time to walk up the wooden hill at the end of the night I did so with general misery seeping through my bones. The wife then breaking her phone and then going into strop mode didn’t help my general hate the world mood!

Day two I awoke and to my astonishment I was kind of happy…….OK I mean in my bones I wanted to stay angry, but it simply wasn’t in me, my mood improved after I had some breakfast, did a good deed and took the youngest off on the start of her holiday away from us, I read a little I watched the news a little (I devour the news when I’m off) and generally continued on with my small chores, I ate some more but then the world went all skewwhiff on me, I was asked to go and pay a bill, by myself , all alone, I was thrown from a moving vehicle and I rolled into the post office right into the queue with the old dears, damn I even had cold hard cash in my hand, to pay a bill, I could have gone ballistic in Barry’s Bargains (please don’t ask) I stood my ground and did as I was asked and then ambled back home still in a reasonable mood, how was this happening especially after the doom laden Monday, I have no idea.

 Day three I awoke to sunlight and again surprisingly more general happiness, not wanting to break into song happiness, not wanting to skip down the street, but kind of ok with myself (WTF)  again I was given another task to complete straight away I went back into grumpy mode, but in reality it was all a show , I got on with the job in hand and then just got back on with the day in hand read a little watched a little and then ate a little something and it wasn’t head buried in the fridge eating crap type of eating it was healthy and at proper meal times, I was starting to worry.

Day four was meant to be a joyous time, I had been tipped the wink about a great little farm shop in the area, so we had agreed that I would take the wife out on her one day off for breakfast and a waltz around the farmyard, I had done all of the reconnaissance, the one thing I couldn’t find was prices (not a good sign) I just didn’t want to turn up like tramp begging cup in hand and having to use my card to hide my financial embarrassment, yup you guessed it I had to use the card it was lovely , it just wasn’t cheap, again I’m not complaining its very rare that me and the wife do this kind of thing, it was a nice change, she even got to see the little piggy’s in the sty, of course I killed the mood when wondered out loud “wonder which is next for breakfast” then a jaunt around the local country roads which confirmed to the wife she is married to a country bumpkin, the rest of the day was more of the same, reading a little, watching a little and definitely eating some more, happiness levels were at around 40 - 45% which for me is pretty damn good.

Friday came and gathered pace but I wasn’t done in the dumps, and that shocked me, I even tried to tempt myself into misery I simply couldn’t do it damn what the hell is wrong with me, we picked the daughter up from her jolly jaunt and soon we all ensconced into our happy little home.

Saturday unfortunately turned up with a bog black dog something I wasn’t happy to see, that Black dog showed no mercy and Saturday I was back to being Mr Misery, no change there then but it was something I wasn’t expecting, even the start of the football season couldn’t cheer me up I had to wait 48 minutes until Charlie Nicholas said “Situation” (again don’t ask unless you are sad and really want to know). The day dragged on and even the arrival for a visit from the Hurricane did little to raise my spirits although I do try a little harder when he’s here, he’s too young to know how shit life is when you get older (although after the hand he has been dealt with I think he already knows) once more I was glad to be climbing the wooden hill.

Sunday I opened one eye in the vain hope that there would be no black dog, thankfully there wasn’t, there must have been some kind of residue as the wife was concerned enough to ask me if I was alright, and she wanted to enjoy her day off with her melancholy husband, once the Hurricane had been returned home and the Kraken had had some face time the wife decided that because we weren’t doing a good deed for the youngest (plans change on a minute to minute basis with her) she would treat me to lunch! We opted for our local spoons and the wife got an alcoholic drink for a change, me I went for lime & soda, I suffered for it soon afterwards, we had forgotten that spoons don’t do a traditional Sunday dinner and there was over a dozen places to go but that meant taking the car, so we tucked into steak and kidney pie with chips and peas and it was quite lovely, as always me time with the wife makes me that little bit happier.

Arriving home and declaring to the world that I intended to blog as the Lime from the lime and soda went through me like a freight train (I like it strong but I think there might have only two or three drops of actual soda water in the glass) I spent the rest of the afternoon being reminded exactly what my arse is actually for, thankfully by early evening it had died down but I felt like a shot puppy for the rest of the day and was glad yet again to hit the hay.

This morning I woke up kicking myself that the blog hadn’t been done and that I hadn’t won the lottery so that meant I had to go to work, thankfully the wife was getting her new phone tonight and hopefully that will make her once again (I doubt that……..coming dear). So that’s the blog and it wasn’t the ball of misery I thought it was going to be, I’m generally miserable because we are living on the bare bones of our pants (I know do the crime do the time) but I don’t work as hard as what I do, just to get as little as what I actually get, the wage is ok it’s the paying of bills and buying food that I’m not exactly happy about, my next holiday and I’m determined not to be writing another blog of general unhappiness and being stuck in the house I want at least one out of body experience, so until next time ……Toodles!