The Great Waffle Wipe out!

The weekends over and it feels like a washout (weather withstanding) and I'm trying to get myself motivated five days to go and then a holiday(OK so time off not a going away holiday I really don't have any organs left), the weekend wasn't bad but it wasn't great either if you get my drift!

I'm sat here listening to the new Tenacious D CD hoping for some inspiration because I feel bleurgh not good not bad, just wish I had done more over the weekend, the weather really was not conducive to being a male who has to walk everywhere but I wasn't inspired to go anywhere, wet does simply not mix with walking. so I decided to kickback and finally get around to watch the last season of Sons Of Anarchy, fourteen episodes all hot to trot.

So the wife and the youngest had tickets to go see Jeff Dunham who I didn't want to go and see so I was home alone and once the toon were getting stuffed away I went off into TV land, I don't normally sit and watch as much TV as this but what the hell the rest of the world does from time to time so why not. Now what I should have been doing is getting to grips and finishing "piffle" but again the mood moved away so I sat and vegged, numbers for the blogs have once again become consistent (is this because of a happier vibe?) and views for the books have stayed at a consistent one hundred and fifty a week, which if I'm honest has me perplexed but what the hell its massages my ego (hahaha) but I need to make sure that I'm doing it at least once a week keeping moving forward so to speak  don't want to kill the momentum!

Technology has been driving me round the bend this week, so the search has been started to upgrade my systems, I can't afford it but there is the problem, I'm stuck with this laptop at the moment the other computers have given us the blue screen of death, and I'm sick of putting my hand in my pocket to try and keep something that has passed it's sell by date on life support, so while on holiday there shall be a clearing of old hardware and the potential for a new piece of kit being brought into play with this one being held in reserve in case any thing goes wrong with new piece of technology (does this make me a pessimist...hell yeah) this one has been the best computer I have ever had and I got this free when I got the daughter a mobile phone a few years ago (go figure).

Tenacious D hasn't really done the trick as expected so I will finish up and get ready for yet another early start, i just need to be focused for thirty seven and a half hours I have no intention of doing any more than my paid hours this week I need to be in a good place for the holidays, so I'll be back in a few days with more stuff to report than I have tonight, it feels like a load of waffle (hence the title) its funny how inspiration pops up at the silliest of times and there are some times I have great stuff pop into my head usually at the most stupid inconsiderate of times, so here we go hopefully the week will improve and the weather as well so play nice have fun and I will see you all again soon Toodles! 

Bill (Tee Hee)

OK so you should know if you have read the previous blogs that although things haven't been great, things have returned (finally) to an even (ish)keel , you will all know that I threw a hand grenade the other week, well here's the tale of the fallout to warn you of what's ahead .....Tee Hee!

I smelt a rat (a nasty big one at that)and I decided to do a little digging and I was soon aware of land mines left in my path (please be aware for legal reasons there will be lots of metaphors and false leads) which because I do things properly for things like this, I was well prepared for, I had had a sense of impending doom which I couldn't shake, so I ducked and I dived and generally did a lot of soul searching. I was aware of how much time I had spent at the beginning of the year working my butt off. which my family bore the brunt of (thankfully) so I (finally) took them into the equation as well and realised that the wife was not in the best of shape and that it was potentially unfair to expect her to deal with even more of a work load and grumpiness from me. That's not to say that she was the excuse, she was actually part of the solution, I was thinking clearly for once,part of the reason why I had a double dose of paranoia was the fact that I wasn't prepared as much as I like to be, as I had explained before this wasn't a job flipping burgers and as I like to be loaded for bear if you get my drift, I decided to carry lots of ammunition. so I awoke on the Monday morning realising that this was not a good move either way, so the hard part now was actually to extract myself without causing me any blow back.

Once I had decided on what I wanted to do the rest was easy,I had an innocent look (I am a cherub) and a sanctimonious tone expressing my unhappiness that I didn't want to continue for reasons of an unnamed nature (for legal reasons they won't be mentioned in print) and a few heart to hearts explaining the reasons why to the individuals involved, there were a few relieved faces and some very nice sentiments which to be honest nearly pushed me back into it but I had made a plan and so intend to stick with it for better or worse(better for me worse for every fecker else). But I wasn't finished just yet there was still time to muddy the waters just a bit so I got my stick out and mixed the water just a tad!

There was meant to be three of us for the job, me and a guy I work with and somebody from down south I don't like finishing last even in a three horse race. I soon found out from snatched conversations that people thought I didn't hear (as there was still loads of skull duggery being played) effectively  the guy from down south was a no show in all departments and people were in meltdown as they knew that his would be a five minute interview for him, four hours to get here and then thank you but no! he must have either tumbled or realised that he was as dumb as a box of frogs because his wife rang to say he wasn't attending, so it was now a one horse race and with me out to graze (well not quite) it was a straight forward winner! at this point my area manager buggered off to take a phone call of a private nature and as it was my office I had no intention of buggering off ( haha) now at this juncture I have to point out I can read really well upside down oh and I tend to speed read which is why with a chance to read a document I can counter most of the salient points in a legal argument at work, I might not know everything but it certainly looks like I do! so when he stepped out I stepped up to the conference table at the other side of where he was and read and memorised all the questions for the interview, when he came in I didn't move but continued to read and make notes from the legal document I had placed in front of me, which he took time out to see what I was doing and which I took great pleasure in going into great detail and bored him to death.

I then sat back at my desk and while continuing to consult the legal document (I'm really good at covering my tracks) and wrote down several responses to the questions then rewrote then in a totally new order to what was on his sheet and took it home with me to polish the turd that I had wrote (but it did give me the tools to re shape it as we went) I then sat and typed up what looked like my ideas for the interview (tee hee) and then sat back and enjoyed the rest of my night preparing for the day ahead a nice relaxing bath and time to make my self a little more presentable.

This morning (for legal reasons lets call  my work compatriot Bill) it was time for pay back Bill looked really smart but wasn't in a suit, I had enquired what the dress code was required for the interview and yes a suit was required (oh dear) and yes I did take great pleasure in informing him that was the case (oops) it was at this moment he realised I no longer resembled Grizzly Adams that my bushy beard was now a trim and precise goatee oh and instead of looking like a bag of shite (that I think I look like in adult clothes) I looked pretty damn presentable for a change, I didn't wear my suit as that really would have pushed him over the edge and that's not what I really wanted to do to him I'm naughty not bad! He then scuttled off to sort a job but was soon back with a worried look and at the first opportunity he got me alone he asked me "I thought you had pulled out for the job" " I have why! what's the problem?"  he now knew what I was up to, good luck to him I hope he gets the job but it wasn't a level playing field before, I was just scuffing up the pitch a bit and I wanted him to know that if it had been a level surface would we would have been neck and neck and if I'm honest I think he knows it. so we both went our separate ways him to worry what I was going to do next and me to well lets just say .....to have fun.

I went to several people when they had a spare moment including all of the interview panel saying "I know I'm not part of the process but here's my notes could you at least let me know if was I at least in the right direction? as  I would love some constructive criticism " I have to admit that all the responses were positive (and so they fecking should I had the answers hahahaha) and a few of them looked to say "oh shit if he's this good and he's not prepared how good is he when he brings everything to the table" and again I was as always humble and thanked them for the advice and opinions and walked away with a smile inside but a pious look on the outside, I then got down to work and watched as there were indeed some funny conversations and funny looks generally aimed at my direction, as I left Bill was knee deep in to his interview in truth as it stands he's the best man for the job (at this moment in time) he has all the tools and all the information to do the job but none of the social graces to keep twenty grown bolshy blokes in tow and a degree of focus that most horses have when they are racing (yes folks I meant blinkered). It's out of my hands now (again maybe not hahahaha) I have a few cunning plans and some interesting twists still to come into play,that I shall watch to see how they play out, but the game isn't finished just yet so watch this space.

Am I bad boy I don't think so I could have really poisoned the well and that's not really my style if I'm not the man for the job fine and dandy I just like it to be fair for everybody. I will say for the record if it was an even race from the start I certainly would not have done what I did today I believe in being honest I really do and that is part of my problem others aren't, sometimes though I wish the rest of the world was as well.So tomorrow brings the week nearly to a close, Friday shall remain a day of joyous noise from me and feck everybody else the weekend beckons as does the The Boo Hoo Club but that's OK I'm in a good place so I intend to do as much of "Piffle" as I possibly can so have a great time and I will see you all soon...Toodles!

Angel from the coast

The title of this blog is a Thin Lizzy song (before I get buried in emails I know OK) but I can't seem to get the bloody thing out of my head, so I will go with the voices in my head (oh bugger I have been found out) and name this blog after it (it's not even my fave Thin Lizzy song but its stuck in there good and proper) I was hoping the new Cold Chisel album might just blow it away, but no as soon as a song finishes it pops back up and as a song I do like it (can't think of many Lizzy so I don't) but for the life of me I just don't understand why? maybe because I haven't played the bloody song in ages but it's bloody haunting me!

Anyway you don't read my drivel to listen to the voices in my head (do you?) lets crack on from yesterday and yes I was in a better place (not for long thanks to the wife but we will get there) I had posted the blog and felt good for the first time in a few days and we bimbled on with our day like leaves in a slow moving river, going with the currents seeing where they actually took us, the wife had discovered that the band Daughtry were supporting Nickleback so that put her in a spin as she would love to see the support band (continued in the blog my wife is a perv who lusts after younger men part 56099)the problem was we already have tickets for another band on the same night (oops) a band that caused me a load of grief because the previous year I did what my wife wanted to do and not go to see them only for her to change her mind on the night of the gig (why was I surprised?) the easy option and believe me I always prefer to go with  that, is that I buy her a Nickleback ticket and she goes and lusts after the young men in her life (again) as soon as that thorny problem was solved we (as in me myself I) could breathe easily once more!

The old man of the house was taken up to the Kraken's (who was doing us a good deed yes I know we sold our souls to the Kraken....again) and we got ready at an acceptable pace no rushing, the wife asked me a silly question as to what I wanted to wear only to be slapped with an injunction by the fashion police to stop me going anywhere my wardrobe, once we were both suited and booted we headed out in the rain to catch public transport, we were there in plenty of time and actually caught an earlier bus and then settled down to some innocuous banter (yeah right) which erupted into major in fighting I believe you have read the previous blogs on how I was feeling and how I was on a bit of a short fuse well the wife read the launch codes and then pressed the ignite button for no reason other than she could and I went off like a fire work, it wasn't nice and she is right she can't talk to me especially as when she is being as stupid as she was on the bus! I calmed down and I think I only ranted and raved like a lunatic for the last nine miles (of an eleven mile journey) we headed through a wet Newcastle and arrived at our destination the worst Wetherspoon's in the town, staff who can ignore somebody up close and personal (thankfully it's not just me it's every fecker) and we grabbed a little table in the corner while waiting for peeps to arrive, however we were surrounded by football gremlins and dodgy Osmonds fans heading to the city hall!

Thankfully everybody and more turned up and we grabbed an even bigger table so we could sit and talk about Kestrel eggs and various other bits and pieces, and we chatted up a storm which is just what the doctor ordered, and in no particular order we sorted out world peace, how to feed the world and that a law should be passed so that everybody wears cowboy boots (OK so I made the last one up but the first ones are true) but we didn't discuss facial hair , damn a missed opportunity, and before we took root we gathered our forces and headed to Lick Your hoop (there were some worried faces as we left when we said where we were going)  and again there were even more peeps there that we hadn't seen in an age and even though the prices were through the roof nearly three quid for exhibition for fecks sake, we struggled on for the sake of the pub, we would hate for another pub to close because we weren't spending money! at this point I became a good boy and went with the flow and the crowd en masse migrated to Sgt. Peppers (WTF) thankfully we didn't stay too long in this freak zone as the bar staff didn't accept money just body parts and praise the lord I had no more left to harvest! and as seeing as they wouldn't accept money they wouldn't give us drink so we left hurriedly (result) as the zombies were surrounding a poor soul who had ventured into this cesspool in a bloody wheel chair!

We left and headed to the old stomping grounds of the Percy which I was delighted (nearly) to see that they weren't going to let me in as I had been to quote the lovely intelligent person on the door (the bouncer and yes the sarcasm button is well and truly stuck) "larking about further up the road" hahahaha we hadn't even come the way the idiot was pointing, go to specsavers you Knob Jockey, this is probably why the Percy was half empty not that I minded, thankfully the bouncer with his glasses on pointed out the right people and we were allowed to gain access to that lovely establishment and yes the freaks were still out in force (hurrah) and the night ground to a halt amidst alcohol smelly toilets and freaks dancing thinking that they were living an alternative lifestyle when in fact they are the biggest fashion out there, we said our fond farewells and we jumped into a taxi with a pleasant driver who chatted about music he even smiled when he stuck his hand in my chest and ripped out my heart from my chest as the taxi fare was a third more than a Blueline taxi and that was the only organ I had left next time we will wait the twenty minutes either that or we get the last bus home because we spent more on travel than we did on drink and we spent a shit load on drink I can assure you!

After all of that we still hadn't decided what to do with my beard, I just didn't know what to say or do maybe I will decide later today, anyway thanks too everybody who was there for a great night sorry we didn't get to see our friend who rang to say that he hoped to see us, and absent friends were fondly thought of (Kes where are you Kes?) there was loads for a blog (as is written here)  and the night was a good one we ended up in bed without any supper which I suppose in my fat state isn't a bad thing and I was asleep as quick I always was and I slept dreaming of Anthrax playing Y&T songs and a certain Thin Lizzy song going around on a bloody loop in my head so a good night was had all (hopefully) and that's it for a while I have so much too sort out for work and the hand grenade that was thrown, wish me luck and I will see you all on the other side and until then Toodles!

Tidal (Happy Ending).

OK so the last one was a tad bleak lets hope this one is like a Hollywood movie and has a happy ending although I can't guarantee it!

So the day after the depressing blog (and I actually deleted about sixty percent of it as it was so black) I woke in a good frame of mind, which is always the way to start the day, all I ask for out of life is to wake up happy, the day may slide from there and that I can handle that, because it's down to me to sort it out from there but it really does need to start from a happy place otherwise I'm screwed. I had a quick breakfast and headed out to the bus and thankfully there wasn't a lot to bother me, a short trip to my destination for the day, bus journeys are the same everywhere if your a local you go for the same seat every time, if you can! if you can't, well then you tend to get stared at (as this is a local bus for local people). I kept my head down after the previous day of me been a pain in the ass, so I thought low profile was the order of the day, the main concern for me at this moment in time if I'm honest, do I keep my beard? or get rid of it? (not how to feed the world shocking isn't it) I do hate shaving but its at the stage where its annoying me more than it does other people so maybe it has outlived it's usefulness, something I'm still pondering as I sit and type this little ditty!

I was concerned for the old man of the house as he had been poorly, not that I could have been of any help (I wasn't in the house) it doesn't mean that I couldn't have a little concern for him, I was still powering through the day as full of positivity as I could muster , dancing between items and using my blackberry to deal with things back on site, but as the day went on the good vibe melted like three day old snow in our back yard, it was taking an age to get home and because of it I was going to miss a friends birthday party (probably just as well when you consider the mood I was in) the wife was there and she wasn't in the best of shape with her back and other stuff and we sat and chilled in a semi conscious kind of way (and no alcohol was consumed shocking I know)we watched TV and I avoided the internet big style although I wasn't unhappy, I wasn't being user friendly so keeping myself isolated from the world was a good thing (trust me), we headed to bed in the early hours and slept!

I awoke to the bark of the old man wanting out and with the feeling that the hand of doom was on my shoulder and I really couldn't shake it no matter what I tried (a really crap start to the day)I was generally full of anger and hatred directed at every living thing out there in the whole wide world, the wife crept up on me like a fecking Ninja (talk about kick start your heart feck!) who knew she could creep on you as good as that or has my deafness crept back in? The day wasn't helped by my trustworthy lap top sticking to fingers up at me, which if I'm honest always sends me over the edge , I was needing to vent in a major way but actually had no actual outlet and I was trying to steer away my stroppiness from the wife as it really isn't fair to take it out on her (although that's what she does to me) as for once she hadn't actually done anything wrong (ooops!) we gathered our wits and headed out to post some books to people (I was expecting storm troopers from South Shields as the wife had been distracted earlier in the week) while waiting in the post office I literally had to leave I honestly felt like I was drowning (and not waving) my mood took an even darker turn while I was standing outside and I could see the wife getting her bomb disposal suit out of her bag as she knew this wasn't good! we continued doing what we had to but it wasn't going well and I started to snap at all the silly things you do when your in a huff  (me with my reputation) after my last little strop I was herded towards a task I had been putting off for months (and I mean months) going through my post and getting rid of everything that wasn't needed, I have to admit an hour and a bit of tearing paper up and I was in a jolly mood (you mean you couldn't tell?) I even phoned somebody to cancel something off my credit card without prompting (OK so it took me thirteen months.....I've been busy).

I have to admit I really don't understand what's causing me to second guess what I'm doing with my life or why the hell I'm as stroppy as I have been (can we go back to Vegas please) I don't feel as though I'm not actually in control of my own destiny (yes ladies I know I'm a married man so I'm not in control anyway) I'm not even sure about throwing the hand grenade at work was the best thing to do, things seem of late as though all my best laid plans seem to spiral out of my control even with my best intentions (I really have crapped in some bugger's teapot somewhere down the line!) The answer would be to go and light the beacons and get the Tee Hee Club to attend to my needs (G where areyou when you are required) but with different game plans that is definitely not going to happen sometimes I seem as though I'm running at full speed with no plan or direction (again yes ladies I know I'm a man did I not mention this already) with a dose of rampant paranoia thrown in for good measure, I decided to make dinner and at around this time phones started to ring and it was nice to hear the wife talk to people (I'm not really good on telephones didn't you know I was a Luddite) sometimes interaction with other people is a good thing (no matter how bad I am at it) and the joy was coming back into my mood (bet you didn't see the Hollywood ending coming did ya's!) the TV was kept off and my I Pod was put on as I'm trying to sort out stuff for the next Jubilee reunion musically (like a fool I nodded in agreement when the wife offered my services) and listening to familiar music has definitely brought back a good vibe although I'm now unhappy with the tracks I have put on, so back to the drawing board but in a good way lots of plotting and other such stuff!

The blogs numbers have tailed off slightly, I have a feeling the poisonous vibe must be infecting the readership so back to the good old ways, but as always these things are like the tides and I'm aware of that if I could just keep a continuous good vibe going I would be pleased, is all this writing a cry for help no I'm no longer the miserable person I used to be I just seem  to be, but storm clouds seem as though they batter my harbour walls far too regularly for my liking! but we can but try and weather the storm and say Foxtrot Oscar (book number two and still available at blurb.com) to the world and all the people who get in your way.

And that's the blog, I hoped you liked it (actually I don't I write the buggers for my own enjoyment) things are heading upwards and hopefully I might even do one tomorrow although tomorrow is a day I'm not looking forward to but I'm a big boy and need to grow a set and get on with life remember live each day like it's your last (because potentially it is)and if anybody is still interested I still haven't decided what to do with the beard (answers to dontgivearatsass.com)and to cheer myself up just that little bit more I'm off in search of my video of the dancing Chav (cheers G) and I will see you all on the next tide so until then Toodles!

Isolation

If I had done this blog this morning it would have been as black as a pirates heart, I had been distracted since the weekend by all manner of things and if I'm to be honest none of them pleasant, nothing seemed to lift the funk I was in and it was nothing in particular that had started it. although it started at the weekend and just festered away, this morning on the drive to purgatory my mood was as bleak as anything that I had in my younger days and I really didn't want to go there. It wasn't work related but it was helped later on in the day with lashings of paranoia and me going into full on tilt mode and kicking off big style I probably didn't do myself any favours but you know what I needed to vent so vent I did!

Did I feel better for it not really just gave me more lashings of paranoia, followed by a double portion of guilt, and at the end of the day I was fried and all I wanted was to get the hell out of dodge my mood was levelling out but I wasn't, I needed some respite from all the aggravation (which I know I wasn't helping) as soon as I left everybody behind and got some space my mood lifted slowly and as I sit typing this out I'm not saying that I'm in a Richard Pryor funny mood but its better than the Attila The Hun that I had been, a few funny texts between me and the wife (yes we do make each other laugh)  and a few comments on farcebook made me chuckle and I was almost human once more.

Even the arrival of  book number four didn't even lift the spirits but  the response of the wife after she had read it certainly did (if even for a little while) and the new one will be with those who require it soon enough not as soon as I thought as my post mistress (shame on her) has been distracted I read it again and yes as always there's one or two mistakes but if I'm honest, and I like to think I am! what the hell does it matter, I hope it adds slightly to the charm! but again I had tried to get started on "piffle" and I know everything I did this week was bleak and although I want a more serious theme throughout the book I don't want to send people to high areas to thrown themselves to the very depths of despair , so here's the deal I need to get to the end of the week and hopefully get my arse into gear, and think happy thoughts and boy do I need them we do have plans some that probably won't come to fruition or might spin off to the left of centre but I need to get back on track and do something happy I know I want "piffle" to be different but I want it to be better than "restrooms" and if it's going to do that then I really have to pull my socks up because this one is a doozie! at this point I know I have waffled enough and before I poison the vibe I have just realised I have a shed load of work to complete so until the next(happier) time Toodles!











 

Hand Grenade (this could get messy!)

So I'm sat here like Billy no mates as the wife and the youngest are off to see McFly I'm not sure who is meant to be chaperoning who? They set off at an ungodly hour (thanks E for helping get the tickets) even so it's nice to see my girls happy and act as though a family should, I went to assist the wife on a few messages before she went out and I spent some time in Iceland(the shop and not where Farcebook says that I probably am) so I could have some food (me depressed never) but its terrible I can only have curry when they aren't in the house to be honest I think I overcompensated as I also called into Yagers (a pork butchers where I live) for a couple of pork specials (they didn't last long) but I had a shopping list something for lunch (meatball pizza) something for tea (chicken korma) something for sweet (lemon cheesecake) OK so that went  in the first half hour (I was a down in the dumps what can I say except yes the full one went) and a bar of chocolate for to watch the TV with later on and I do intend to be good from now on(fingers crossed, touch wood and anything else to help.

I have to admit I'm glad to have the day to myself as work has been so strange this week I'm back doing what I like best (teaching)but there has been a distinct lack of goodwill in the classroom, I still haven't learnt how to deflect a bad vibe(when it arises) I just want to break a chair over their heads, nothing major just it has made a little grumpy (hahaha) and then I had a bit of a grump at my area manager as he seems to not take little old me seriously (so wrong bonny lad so wrong) so I decided to up the ante and picked out my favourite hand grenade (its an analogy boys and girls don't get worried) the last time I was ignored I was promoted over the heads of six very good tradesmen, its now time to up the ante and really try this time! I had been trying to get a straight answer out of him about the TSM position (the big cheese on site) and he simply avoided me, so I did what I do in these situations I applied for the post and once people found out that I had, it caused good times and bad times I have to admit I was going to do it just to be annoying (yes boys and girls I can be annoying I know I look so angelic) but the support that I have received since was to say the least outstanding, and with a number of people already not only offering me help but have actually assisted me with my application which caused me no end of trouble but as usual I have deviated from the tale so lets head back to the start!

Wednesday was always going to be a long day four courses in one day, luckily the last one was cancelled so I did get home a little earlier than anticipated I do admit that I was stewing over my area manager, and the wife as always was supportive (well she grunts back at me at all the right moments) and said you do what you have to do. I was back on public transport this week and the journey in is nice and quiet(so I can contemplate the chaos and mayhem I intend to cause)but the night time is rather worse than normal as it's half term and I don't do squealing teenagers! (oops that sounds so wrong) Thursday on the way to work I decided that not only was I going to crap in a few tea pots, but I intended to be deadly serious (something i very rarely do) and really have a go for it the other candidates have been drip fed information over the last few months so that its a level playing field for them, but when I announced to the client that I did indeed intend to throw my cap into the ring he went ballistic as he said exactly that "it's not a level playing field" and that he would give me any assistance that he could to help (result) allegedly later that night he was discussing it with another manager(who until recently has hated my guts or so I thought) to which their reply was "Colin doesn't need your help but the others definitely do now!" there was an out pouring of positivity and I was pointed in the right direction to fill in the application, I finished my teaching and rang the wife to tell her that I was going to fill in the application (this was at twenty to five) and she sounded like she had been drugged (she really needs to stay off the Ketamine) I should have realised this would cause me problems later on but I was giddy from the support I was receiving,so off I set only to be dragged into the clients office to have a conversation as to how I wanted to do this which was really helpful, I then buggered off to my office to fill in the form, now when I do a blog it usually takes me about two hours and it's fairly fluffy (yes this is fluffy) stuff it's not deadly serious and there might (hahahaha) be one or two mistakes, I couldn't afford to get this wrong this was to be in charge of a five point four million pound contract to run a property worth in excess of a billion pounds, this really is the big leagues and I had to check and re check and then polish and polish it again it actually took me just over three hours I should have realised the positivity would soon run out!

I wasn't wrong as I was literally marching as fast as I could to catch a bus to get home I contacted the wife to tell her I was on my way home and she tore into me like a weasel on a bag of treats! now I have to admit I wasn't a happy bunny, yes she did have a point I had just done a fourteen hour day (but for good reason) including the travel and I have to admit it didn't end well so I hung up (told you I can do mature)I got to the bus stop  and discovered I had marched all that way for nothing as the bus was actually at half past the hour instead of quarter past so I thought I had better try and apologise! Thankfully I didn't make it any worse but I'm sure I didn't make any better(I find it hard to apologise when I feel I'm doing something for the benefit of my family) either but we went to our separate corners which was probably for the best I got on a crowded bus full of retards (OK teenagers who I have to admit I just wanted to kill the lot and I like to think my vibe seeped into them as the longer the journey went on the less the irritated me), thankfully they all got off before the end of the journey however I was cursed as they got off a crowd of OAP's got on and they must have all let go with the incontinence as they got on the bus the over powering smell of urine was unbelievable I'm surprised the bus driver let them on.

By this time I was shattered and I really wasn't in the mood for a scrap with the wife but she had calmed down (a little) and actually had put some food on for me, I lasted all of fifty minutes before I had to hit the hay to do it all over again the next day, which I did but I was still tired and the day couldn't be over soon enough I was home for six o'clock but my phone was dead so that nearly caused world war three, crisis averted I chilled and only blinked once. the youngest was home so it was a great time I was happy  and content I had thrown my hand grenade and there were some incredibly unhappy peeps life was in deed good!  As I type this I await the fourth book which is indeed on its way and I should really knuckle down and get on with things there's lots to do and I really do need to more for "piffle" which I have to admit is being far harder than I thought it would be, but what doesn't kill us will only make it more gratifying once it is complete and that's it done! I have so much more to do, thank you to everybody who has gone out of there way to assist me to get where I am today.Tomorrow is another day and hopefully there really is a light at the end of the tunnel lots of places to go in the coming week I just don't know if I can grow an organ quick enough to pay for all the damage that we can cause hahaha. so until then keep spreading the word life is......OK for the time being I have eaten my chocolate but then again you all knew that I would anyway until the next time Toodles!

Oh and by the way I was going to stop using song titles for blog titles but then Norm Burn suggested something after I posted on farcebook a comment so here we are and thankfully it didn't get that messy!

Alive

Easter has lived up to expectations and has been as shite as it usually is, there's been some thievery a round of the blame game and some illness (well there wouldn't really be a blog with out sickness would there) if we we were getting off the trains in the Nazi death camps we would have been shot as we got off (a bit harsh I know but that's how happy I  am at the moment).

It must be Monday as we have the grandson (again) here and the wife is trying her best to turn him gay, as she brainwashes him with Streisand movies, yesterday was a washout as the wife was in a lot of pain with her back (and it's just getting worse not any better and if truth be told not much better today) and shoulder and generally just washed out. I've seen more life in a corpse, but try as she might (and bless her she did try) I made the executive decision to send her back to bed, even though she did try and rebound, it was no good and I wasn't going to get her to traipse through to see The Tee Hee Club in the state she was in it would have killed the night for everybody including her, so I put up with the usual abuse for us not turning up and by the sounds of it we missed one hell of a night ( I received a number of texts during the proceedings) and allegedly G was seen without a top on! he may have the body of a racing snake but how did all the girls resist, one day we will learn the magic spells that he weaves with that body of his. as for the texts I could have been nasty and replied to the one I received at twenty past two when I got up this morning! but I reckon Cookie will deal with the naughty boys and girls who stayed out too late, I reckon there will be some sore heads today but at least the lucky buggers can do it all over again if they so desire, us we are captive in our own bloody home yet again Grrr!

Friday was spent proof reading the new book (which is out right now for £4.95 and postage on top of that how good is that) and I had intended to sort out and send to the publishers but I still didn't have a back cover for it so we hummed and haa'd and decided on our strategy, so we sorted that out on Saturday morning and I then got ready to go to my brothers so we could sort out some music for each other, I made dinner and while we were eating it the Police knocked at the door to see if our security camera caught anything of some nuggets ripping number plates of cars (an interesting hobby....NOT!) it was only when I headed out to my brothers that I noticed that it was in actual fact our car that was one the ones affected (the little shits) I told the wife who then had to tell the Kraken who started the entire blame game in motion (at this moment in time I just knew that the weekend was now a wash out and was praying that somebody would indeed shoot me right now) I headed to my brothers (it's not like I could produce number plates from out of my butt!) and was actually there a full twenty minutes before the texts started saying it was all my fault etc etc I knew then that the third world war wasn't going to be avoided so I had to go home and listen to the pair of them ranting and raving about the world and it's cousin are all a bunch of C****! oh and yes it was as always my fault thankfully the rage burned out after about three hours I will admit if any of the genuine bile had been pointed my way I do believe I would have entered the war as the Americans did in the last one, just a tad late but I would have out gunned both of them and would have been looking for a landfill that was open so I could dump the bodies (it's getting tedious ladies, stop it or feck off and I really do mean that! shit happens and it's nobodies fault but the scum that perpetuate the crap so take a breath and stop beating each other up, it's not worth the grief and the only ones who will suffer in the end is yourselves!) the rest of the day was ruined me and the wife in our separate corners cordial but that's about it.

Sunday started a bit more brightly yes the wife wasn't in the best of health but the wide awake club (the police to those who don't know) actually turned back up with the number plates so all the bile and the worry wasn't really required (the world keeps spinning whatever happens trust me I know this for a fact) the wife attempted to make herself better but as I have already stated it was never going to happen so at the right time (actually when I thought the Buckets were on stage) I broke out the Sailor Jerry's and had one or (three) two ( extremely large) small ones Tee Hee! The day was wasted in many ways because of all the bile and all I wanted to do was eat and eat and eat just a little bit more (another reason why the party trick is wearing off) we sort off chilled and sent the wonderful new book off to the publishers (I may have mentioned this hahaha) and then chilled some more,actually watching the TV together like a normal(ish) couple, the intention was then to sort some more music out for the next jubilee reunion (well OK maybe tomorrow) but I now know that I need to step up to the plate as I need to get "Piffle" finished in the next few weeks (which will be highly intensive ) so I need to focus and step up a gear or three!

I have to admit that it doesn't take much too make me happy, but it really is starting to drag me down when everybody else can be filled with bile and negativity and some of it is being directed at me when in actual fact it wasn't me in the first place, it  keeps dragging me to the place where I used to be permanently and I really have no desire to revisit not even for a short period of time! Life is short lets just go with the flow hopefully times can be (not will be) just be a little more fun!

Me being the obsessed person that I  am the blogging site has given me (when I actually read it correctly) loads of wonderful information for somebody who can be as obsessed as me hahaha, so hello to all the wonderful people from (deep breath) The UK,USA, Russia,Japan,Latvia(!) Switzerland, France (and me with my reputation)Denmark,India and finally (and by no means least) Indonesia. thanks to all of the people who have been in touch (old and new readers) but although the numbers are indeed going through the roof for some strange reason ( I know its like the tides some times high some times low) the numbers are indeed very encouraging but please help spread the disease by liking or indeed commenting on what you like or even dislike (like I give a .....oops sorry)  the more the merrier, this will only improve if I do indeed get some feedback positive or otherwise. I did indeed go back to Myspace (and had a hissy fit) I'm there as Colin C Irwin so add me if you wish (god I'm such a media whore) I even attempted to set up a website and because I rushed at it like a lunatic(no surprise there then) I may have screwed it up so I will keep the information about the site under wraps until my technical advisor's cans assist me hahahaha. But it does look like all that i require and will hit hopefully all the right buttons and hopefully also be a fun thing for peeps to visit! I don't think that there's anything else i need to have a moan about (there's been enough in this blog already) hopefully me and the wife will get over the bump in the road and then hopefully we can get on (yeah right) and have some fun, well we can but try until the next time Toodles!

Turn the page

Finally I can breath easily the new book is done and dusted I just have to make sure that the back cover is done  as the front one is Fab! and then to wrestle(yet again) with technology and figure out how to publish it.You would think by book four I would remember hahahaha do you lot not know me.

As I'm on holiday I intend to take my own sweet time and not rush anything, I have six days (five including today) to take my Luddite ways to get sorted there maybe a little food and just a smidgen of drink along the way, we had Junior for most of the week up till yesterday and the wife is just a bit under the weather, her back is definitely dragging her down, nothing that a lottery win wouldn't cure. we have a few cunning plans to go forward with and then after the long weekend I'm back to doing what I love best at work teaching!

I have yet again been number watching and I have to admit to being over the moon that they are on an upward curve! the books have for the last four weeks had over one hundred and fifty views hitting a peak of over two hundred at one point and I haven't been pushing them that much, a few more sales would help sooth the ego hahaha as if I had a bloody ego and the numbers for this site have increased as well, the last blog being the best read of the year, the fact that I can also check up on the location of my readership also means that some people who get in touch are not telling the truth where they actually are or the software tracking them is just a little bit screwed up. Because some of the old hands have followed are allegedly Scandinavian we shall see I do not fear a repeat of our infestation problem as I have this site set up differently and unless your a cyber genius I won't have the same issues (me and my big mouth) everything has been positive I'm not ranting or frothing at the mouth as much as I used to!

I intend to go back to Myspace soon and reset possibly under this name or potentially under my given name the Rollo Tomaso page has done it's deed,so if you are still connected to the said Myspace page expect an invitation for the new one! I'm also considering setting up a proper web page now that book number four is indeed ready, to try and do things just a little more professionally if the numbers do indeed warrant such a move. but I need to do some investigation as I'm rather crap with technology and want to see what it entails costs etc etc as I have no intention of incurring anything other than basic costs like erm nothing! I do this as a hobby and don't do it to make money so watch this space for further news of my total world domination. As for the new book it's as always about the same length as the others with completely new material and  pushes (thankfully) Piffle Waffle & Balderdash back by about five weeks to the end of May as opposed to the beginning of it, which in reality is a good thing as before the holiday I was writing what I personally considered stale material and because it is such a personal book I want to do it justice, going forward I do still have a few more in the pipeline but the schedule should not be as frantic but because of the size potentially there should be around a new one every three months depending on mood or workload I still haven't worked out what produces the best material we shall just have to suck it and see.

The photo book has gone on the back burner until I feel more confidant as I wasn't happy with the layout and at some point I will need Professional advice, that's if I can get Mr Harrison to talk to me as we are usually a tad intoxicated when we see each other, again it will help to collate more photographs over the next few years as opposed to running at it like a bloody loon! the fiction book is moving forward like a glacier as in very bloody slowly, as although I do have a story I'm just not sure if I have the right "voice" yet in which to tell it! I would like people to turn the page because they engrossed in the story rather than to see if I'm intending to insult anybody as seems to be the case with the present books, maybe I am as always over  thinking the problem but as I have been gnawing at this particular bone for a few years already I have no intention of being rushed. also the compilation that is coming after Piffle should be hot to trot just after May but again I need to see, I will also do something to make it so that its not just old material I don't want just to rehash the old stuff  and turn into Elton John and release a compilation every four weeks hahaha sorry couldn't resist it.

So now to wrestle with all things technological, thanks for all the kind comments and opinions (which is a tad worrying as so far they have been all positive) on wards and upwards enjoy your long weekend and I will see you all on the other side so until then Toodles!

Fools Game

OK just a short one because I got up with all the best intentions and with my brain buzzing to write and then I got bogged down (why the hell don't I just leave well enough alone) but I noticed that  this site was about to do an upgrade so I thought why not lets get it sorted and now me heed is battered!

Yesterday was not as good a day as anticipated I was in a good mood but the writing just wasn't there I had several attempts at doing stuff then deleted the lot and then proceeded to lie around like a loppy dog I actually looked at shoe sites as I was craving (oooh dangerous) some retail therapy I wanted a decent pair of trainers because I was sick of paying £2 for the ones that keep destroying my feet in asda.

So after a long search (come on peeps I am a bloody Luddite, I discovered what I wanted (some Chuck Taylor's does it sound like I know what I am talking about ....erm no) me and the wife headed down to get some and surprise surprise so did the wife (and no I didn't mind at all) we then headed off to the pictures to see Wrath of the titans which on a scale of one to ten is a three, purely for production values, the first one got slagged to death and was so much better, but hey ho we came home after some quality time together  and the wall was down I had so many ideas I needed to get them down and no it wasn't a quick process it takes me about three hours to do 3000 words what with the going back and checking all the grammar etc. etc.!

I again blinked on the settee (oops) and the next thing I knew it was one o'clock and time for bed to sleep like a log (yes I did wake up in the fire place) OK so the dog had me up at six thirty, but I have had breakfast (healthier than yesterday) and after the upgrade (boo hoo) I'm off to fight the good fight (that's the title of the next chapter I'm doing) and I hope to get through at least three chapters today so bugger off and leave me alone I have writing to do and this new upgrade means that I can check who is following the blog even more than I could before so if you know me and what I'm like you will know that a fools game awaits me, until next place nice and toodles!