Duchess

I did a really stupid thing today (what do you mean just today lol), we did a flying visit to see the South Shields Massive and I didn’t take my black book, I thought I would be fine, my memory is a finely honed machine, I can do this, erm no its not lol, so this is a shortened version of an afternoon with some of the nicest people around.

I was put in charge of the operation to get us  there, not in a driving capacity purely from a timing perspective! so we were out the door before three and off to get some motion lotion (that’s petrol to you lot) task completed, we set off in an easterly direction and we chilled all the way there, we went without drawing to much attention to ourselves, no music playing on the way down, some quiet contemplation and a lot of wondering, how was this was going to go? it had been five months since our last visit, life seemed to be conspiring against us lately, but we were flying in low like the dam busters, we didn’t want to take any flak, we had a small window of opportunity, and we intended to make the most of it.

We got there ten minutes before everybody else did (in my opinion, if I’m not there 15 minutes early then I’m late, yes, I know exactly how sad I am) drinks purchased and sat in the correct location, I knew  that there was going to be a few of us ( I didn’t realise that the entire 6^th panzer army was about to invade) we bumped into the friendly nurse of the group and his good lady and as always,  a proper gentleman, asking all the right questions, how we are doing health wise, the day started right, and then more and more peeps arrived, we had picked the biggest table, but we could have easily done with another three that’s how many bodies had turned up, we thought it was going to be quiet gathering (how wrong were we) we did know most of the faces present, but with not being around them for so long thought we would have been left out, not to worry we were as always made welcome.

The Duchess arrived beating G, her man servant with her stick, he loves it, I was worried as some of the party had left their handbags unattended, do they not know G that well or has he been cured/beaten of his addiction? The first vodka tonic arrived and peace returned to the table, then music started playing, me and the wife are deaf you know, casual conversations carried on and there was so much going on, I knew I would never remember everything, however the title came to mind, just popped in there, we used to argue whether was a lady or not, so we finally agreed that after a conversation regarding the lady title, she decided that she was happy with the Duchess title and we agreed that I would stop calling her a lady ….erm NOT! her words not mine, I do like to press that button as often as I can, she has always been a lady to me, so the song sprang into my head (the blog always starts with a song) and now I can’t shake the bloody thing, I actually still have the single as I bought it on the day of release (god I feel old).

G’s beard by this time was on the loose, I’m led to believe it has it’s own manga comic,  damn he nearly took a few peoples eyes out, it has a life all of it’s own, but it could do with being a nice shade of green or blue or purple……..you get were I’m going with this don’t you? it needs enhanced , get it sorted dude, you will be fighting everybody off with a colourful appendage (ooh Matron) at this point the Duchess needed a drink as she had medication to take (it’s easier if she takes it, getting G to swallow something other than alcohol or chicken wings is a bit tricky allegedly) so a lemonade and an alcoholic chaser for the after effects to be diluted were requested, today was not to be that day G arrived back from the bar with just a simple lemonade, it took a party of five to hold her down and to keep the table righted, damn some one nearly called out the riot squad, but the Duchess calmed and acted as she should and sucked it through her straw, all the while plotting the destruction of her man servant, the punishment devised no doubt is too ghastly to write in this blog, all I can is “Gentleman they can rebuild him” G the six million dollar beard!

Lots of questions asked and answered, even the one main question, I’m so glad that the sleepless nights can now be halted! Our short visit soon came to too quick of a conclusion, we said our goodbyes just as a vodka tonic arrived to sooth the raging duchess, we both wished we could have stayed or even visited the members of the posse who we didn’t get to see, I’m sure we will have some cunning plan worked out for those lovely people, on the way home I was accused of being silent, I wasn’t, I was simply trying to remember the pertinent facts of the day, we decided to have some Chinese food for tea (the first of the year) as soon as we got in I put the food on the table while the wife dealt with a mad pooch who had missed us (but could also smell the food) as I frantically scribbled the shite that I had in my head, into the book I should have taken with me in the first place!

Now as we sit in the aftermath of our Chinese food ( and yes the wife had duck)  basking in the afterglow of a lovely afternoon, that finished as quickly as it began, I now have to try and make some sense of the shite that I have scribbled down with the pooch at my feet, I  thought that this was going to be a short blog but we are already past 992 words, so it wasn’t as short as I anticipated,  I have to decide if I need to take my foot off the peddle as I have done nine blogs in the last fortnight, I have no desire to flood the market, I am aware that numbers are dropping off and that usually indicates that I’m killing you all with the amount of written words, so until the next time, enjoy life, tell your friends that you love them, more blogs to come this has been a joint presentation with the South Shields Massive until then ………..Toodles!