There's a hole in my Bucket!

I couldn’t keep a lower profile if I wanted to and to be honest it feels like I have had my hands tied behind my back and I want to pull my zip down god what did we do before the internet I’ve had a few blogs on the boil but they have went by the way and I was tracking numbers a habit that seems equally hard habit to break,  but we died a death when AOL kicked us into touch honestly can anybody tell me why it’s  so fecking hard to organise a new connection and telephone number tracking numbers on both blogs new and old and the old blogs are averaging about 20 a week that may be people rereading  old blogs (it could also be our redneck infestation)but I’m not taking the  risk the old blog is dead long live the new blog..........

Work has been a major ball ache with people having pissing competitions I don’t play but I will piss on the back of your legs if you want to be a pain so it’s probably just as well that I’m on holiday I can’t believe how busy work has been even all those well laid plans although they worked it doesn’t take a great deal to put a spanner in the works so the holiday came just at the right moment not doing a lot even less without the internet can’t even fill the iPod cos I need the internet (ha ha ha ha ha ha ) so my list of jobs will be pottered on so to speak but we have had a great weekend so I think I had better fill you all in with  the details

I took a lieu day on the Friday I couldn’t face going into work so we got stuff ready we had been invited by E & G to fins and chrome a classic car rally (we went last year) they had bought a camper van so the experience would be even better than the one we had last year (which was great) so now there is a mobile Hotel Jagermeister we had arranged to meet part way so we set off but I had  to pick some gear from work we slipped in under the radar and got back out just as quick and were soon on our way E & G missed the rendezvous so kept going to the next discernible point and we followed them into the car park of an American diner were G had all ready laid some cable (if you don’t know don’t ask.........YUK! )  and we headed off we were close anyway but the first roadblock was soon thrown in our face as the price had increased from last year we didn’t care we wanted to have a good time so we got parked and set about making base camp G made the table and did technical stuff we took our gazebo (clever stuff it just pops up) so we put that up and pinned it down just in case the weather kicked in (oh boy did it) while E made mince and dumplings (wow and they were lush ) the wife had been really sick I was hoping that this was going to be the right medicine it certainly looked like it. The sun was shining we had some beer and the evening was great we had some canny crack (that’s conversation for peeps who aren’t familiar with Geordie speak and not drug related) a lovely walk in the grounds lots of rabbits and stuff and E wanting G to pinch stained glass plants libraries .....You get the picture and no E you with a snipers rifle on the roof is not really a good career move a bit limited really, We headed back and me and E were excited as we thought the bookstall was setting up close to us (boy were we wrong and disappointed) we had a bit more drink the wife had bought me a bubba keg so we got G one as well he reckoned you could get 3 cans in  I didn’t try it (lightweight I know) and we turned in for an early ish night G having an audience E had her hands full but the pillow fort was assailed and G was subdued (eventually) they had gracefully given us the main bed (gratefully accepted) mind you I would have happily slept under the bloody van cos we were having such a bloody good time. The rules of the camp stated that you had to be quiet that didn’t work out as we had a cackling witch to one side a crap band (they even had a bloody drum kit) and general drunken antics did we care...........no we had G to get to bed !

We awoke to grey skies but our spirits were not down in the dumps we soon got breakfast on the go bacon and sausage sarnies lush we tidied up and prepared for the big day we were expecting more friends to visit, while we waited we thought we would have a wander check out some of the cool cars as we went and the stalls as well.....the book store turned out to be a sweetshop (gutted)  and three quarters around on our circuit my knee popped (bugger) things started to look decidedly cack we stopped at another sweet stall as the girls wanted something sweet and me and G weren’t up to the task sweeties bought  we headed back to base camp just as the rain started somebody up there didn’t want us to have fun thankfully they don’t know us that well, Paul one of our neighbours had turned up while we were away and had a cunning plan he had brought a mini spider man chopper to display (peeps had cunning plans all weekend) he even had brought a tent to act as a garage for the chopper these guys take their motors serious Kev Bucket turned up on his Enfield (now I will be honest I know sod all about this kind of thing I know what I like and I liked this) we had a quick brew and then  the fun began people were starting to come onto the fields we thought we could get everybody together but some things didn’t pan out it was at this point we noticed the wife had eaten all her candy floss and most of her fudge so she was packed to the gills with sugar and boy could we tell, it’s at this point I have to congratulate Kev Bucket for not drawing our attention to the fact that if we had had a ceiling the wife would have been through it how E didn’t club her like a Canadian seal during the grand prix qualifiers I’m not sure, having said that she does deal with G on a daily basis (sainthood can’t be far away) others turned up and we went to help put tents up (not that the cripple here could do much) Kev Buckets girlfriend Charlotte (nice French person with a south shields accent) had driven down with their van with a tent on top which when folded out was wonderful obviously designed for those marauding zombie giraffes  out on the Serengeti but a great piece of kit, Caroline’s tent was a pop up affair that was to cause much pain later only for the wife to be the hero of the day!

Charlotte was as it turns out the support act but her time was keep getting moved further and further back so we dispersed back to camp and decided it was time for the Barbeque even though it was Bucketing down (you will understand the pun as you read on) we erected G’s gazebo (ooer missus) and cracked on with the food beef steaks, chicken kebabs naked and reggie reggie one’s a veritable feast was had by all but the main event was fast approaching and we were all looking forward to the legendary Bessie and the Zinc Buckets (get the pun now thank god for that) Charlotte did her short set and we enjoyed it she did win a lot of other people over who to be honest were there for Rock a Billy and they were going to get it, for the foreign readers of the blog Bessie and the Zinc Buckets are a local band who are legendary for having a vast array of musical knowledge and being able to play it in the style of Rock a Billy trust me you ain’t heard Ace of Spades till you have heard the Buckets play it they also play a lot of obscure authentic stuff which is fabulous trust me they play loads of gigs and if you ever get the chance see them they are awesome I have followed them diligently for the last 19 years and have seen them more than 80 times I cannot recommend them enough Charlotte did duet on one number giving Glen Bucket (see the thread) a chance to nearly die after drinking from a slush cup  full of Jack Daniels (ooops tee hee!) the real Rock a Billy’s eventually got up to Ten Pole Tudor (go figure) and then the night really began everybody got slaughtered we had took our cool box with us as we didn’t intend to pay £3 a pint the guy running the bar tried to be a hard arse but Les who runs fins and chrome sorted that out oooooooh and look the bar then dropped the price accordingly and the night rocked even the cripple had fun and hopefully I will post all of the photographs (along with suitable captions) at the same time as this blog go have a look and have a laugh the rain stopped around about 8.30 ish as E predicted and the night started and ended on a high, I had my fair share of drinkie poo’s but my knee was determined to stop some of the fun (it tried and it didn’t tee hee!) E & G slow danced as only a happy couple can, all that noise is just smoke and mirrors they may seem like they don’t care but sorry guys we know you do ha ha ha ha ha ! 

we start to rally the troops to head back to camp when we noticed as always G was up for some further partying (this could get nasty) and started to ask peeps back to camp Jagermiester thankfully me and the wife headed back to avoid getting blood on our selves when we were half way back they were just right behind us I have to admit at this point my knee was winning the battle I had to be helped to undress (yes I had a drink no I was fully competent just crippled with the knee)I would also like to thank G for climbing onto the bed and trying to sooth my fevered brow you did a sterling job and no I wasn’t worried at all ..........much!

 at this point G turned into Rupericht from the film Dirty rotten scoundrels and E really had her hands full now if anybody does know G when he goes into this mode he is really funny you don’t want to laugh as it makes him want to do it even more and E has her hands full (honestly sainthood can only be hours away never mind days) now at this point I would love to describe the rest of the events but I had my head buried under the covers choking on pillows as soon as G said he intended to have a shower E would have revenge in the morning but it was a close run thing and if you know me once I intend to sleep there’s not much that can stop me I was soon asleep even with all the mayhem in the camper van combination of being tired having a drink and being in pain.

The next morning we woke to brighter skies and happier times G was the last out of the pit as E took great pleasure sticking him with a bloody big umbrella, we soon had breakfast on the go and peeps wandered across and were supplied liberally with bacon or sausage sarnies Kev Bucket needing sustenance and I actually turned down a doughnut from Charlotte for breakfast yes that shockwave will go around the world I was on cooking duties and had a great time doing it we then broke camp to have a look at all the cars that had started filling the field not before Caroline and Mowgli turned up having failed miserably in folding the pop up tent away it looked like it had come to life under a spell and was tied down with elvish rope (sorry the weekend was sprinkled with lord of the rings quotes I had to get at least one in sorry E) The wife sprung into action with a quick twist it was under control and zipped up to everybody’s amazement (well done Mrs Tomaso) we had a look around saw some nice cars I have to admit that I prefer early fords Cortina’s Consul’s I didn’t see any Anglia’s this year I’m not a fan of new cars does that make me old?

We set off to head home took a wrong turning but still made it back in one piece had a little relax took mother in law home who had been dog sitting had a quick bite to eat then got ready to go the rattler for round 2 in south shields with E & G we intended to see The Frog on The Tyne which was Kev Bucket and Charlotte doing a duet type of thing(and again it was good, different but good) I wasn’t really not expecting it to be bad but I hadn’t expected it to be that good the Rattler was rammed we should have known bank holiday full of buck nuts and knuckle draggers there was even a skirmish in the middle of the bar 2 punches thrown and a bit of bluster and the door men responded only 5 minutes too late to resolve anything then we wheedled our way down through the room Mowgli was there and was trying successfully to get seats for everybody my knee was still in pain (still is 3 days later) we enjoyed the show and a lot of good crack cunning plans being sorted the only thing holding us back is finances and time scale but like I said we have cunning plans and only ourselves to blame if it doesn’t happen (it will it will it will)  it was nearly 1 in the morning before we even bothered to check the time so we had to head for the hills while the rest of the gang hit the crab shack (boo hoo) we need a lottery win so we can actually move within walking distance of our friends ah well there’s always next week.

So far the rest of the week has been Cack (yes with a capital C ) story of my life whenever I have a holiday things happen to conspire against me /us (does that sound paranoid) I might as well spend more time at work that may be shit but at least I have company that I’m not arguing with (well sort of) and that is just about the blog I have a few more days to go so I might add some extra stuff if anything exciting (yeah right) happens internet should be resumed in 2 days time (yippee) . I have enjoyed the pleasure of my iPod over the last few days and I do intend to do some reading (fingers crossed) but I have watched Cheap Trick playing all of the Sergeant Peppers album which was nice bit Las Vegas but well played and a really horrendous Molly Hatchet DVD from some festival in Germany from 2004 I love the band but I wouldn’t recommend it to anybody they play ok but there’s lots of out of focus shots ho hum look at me I’ve turned all Barry Norman on you all right I’m out of here and I might just add a little something before I actually post this counting down the seconds till I have my beloved internet back!

So there you go i can't believe how old this blog is, the two nicest people in the world damn they know how to enjoy life, they should promote a college course! only one one @old@ blog to come and then back to writing until then..............Toodles!