Passing Strangers

I have went off down another rabbit hole, what with all the social distancing and Co Vid rules, my head has been battered with the changing of rules almost on a daily basis, I work in area with a lot of public walking through on a daily basis, but just because my head has been battered doesn’t mean to say that I can’t have a thought that takes me off on a different tangent, nothing to do with Co Vid, but all to do with my own personal social distancing!

It’s true that we are all born alone we also die alone, I can remember when I first heard that, and it has stuck with me all of my life, I do have friends but I kind struggle to be friendly at times, I’m not totally user friendly, I am a lot better than I used to be, a certain lady (and she is a lady) used to go out of her way to make sure that I was included, not that I ever wasn’t, but I have a tendency to hang out there on the perimeter, it’s easier, I don’t have to make decisions, but I have been universally accepted by a wonderful group of people (you all know you are) I can just go with the flow, I have always had a close group of friends or so I thought, but in all honesty it’s the people who I been friends with over the last thirty years that are nearest  and dearest!

I had a small group of friends at school in Gimpsville, with a couple of local friends who I didn’t go to school with, but I would say that they were friends, of course you leave school and then the group shrinks, not because you don’t like them or they don’t like you (I surely hope not) and then you have a really close group, then you move out of Gimpsville and move back, you still keep those friends but it’s not like now when everyone has a mobile phone, its took effort, jaunts back and forth, making the effort to keep to the arrangements worked out, but looking back I realised that it was me doing all of the running, it didn’t get returned to the same degree, that’s fine these are your oldest friends, you move away again and then it gets really strung out, I get it people have lives and things happen it’s not like I didn’t try, I don’t feel guilty I know I did my best!

Then over the years I made new friends, friends who took me for who I am, not what I could do for them, they took me at face value, most of them were a couple of years younger than me but we loved music, going out having a great time and I was welcomed with open arms, to my knowledge I never pissed off anybody and never had a major falling out, I made a lot of new friends with my wife’s friends and the same thing happened they took me in with open arms is this how life is supposed to happen, I never knew!

What happened to my old friends, well I eventually moved back to Gimpsville and with the exception of one of my friends (to be honest my original best friend) I have had next to no contact with any of them if I bump in to them in the street we exchange pleasantries but that’s it, at least one has died, and again I get it I moved away, although I did come back often, were the rest of them really my friends or were we simply passing strangers, with similar likes, in this modern technological age I don’t even have a mobile for them, a couple reached out on Farcebook but other than that initial outreach, nothing! its makes me sad, sad for those long gone days of drinking and chasing around town in cars and on motorbikes, music and girls being the order of the day, I’m not expecting those days to be relived I just thought that we would have a better relationship than we do.

What started me off on this particular rabbit hole, I was stood at my front door trying to get a decent signal on  my works phone (Apple pfft) when I saw said best friend walk past and he didn’t even give the house even a cursory glance, he’s been inside these doors, if I go past someone’s house that I know I always look so that if necessary I can give them a wave to acknowledge them as being part of my life, even if just a little part no matter how long ago, damn I’m starting to sound like a hippy, but in many ways I wish I had never returned to my hometown, I could at least live with the good times that we had all  those years ago, are we still friends yes I would say that we are, but after all these years when they know where I am, I simply don’t wish to offer the hand of friendship for it to be ignored just because they have moved on.

My new friends, well we have hardly seen anybody this year simply because of Co Vid, the last few years have been hard simply because of my wife’s previous employer making it hard for her to have a social life, again because of the weird short shifts, hopefully when all of this craziness is over that will improve, we can but hope! I don’t want anybody to think that this is a “oh woe is me type of blog” I simply have a fractured understanding of family and friendship, that’s my bad, life is as good as it can be, a true lady taught me that (when she is reading this she will be wanting to stab me, see I do miss you and the welder) take life with two hands and shake out of it what you can, I intend to keep doing that, I intend when we go drinking in the town and catching up with them to laugh, cry, joke, talk music and generally do what friends do, damn I miss it a lot who knew I would get attached to people, I blame the wife as she could make friends in an empty room!

So where am I at in life, I would say mid-stream (that doesn’t sound very good I know) and as always simply trying to go with the flow, this current fiasco will be over at some point, and we can resume some semblance of life, I’m sure that’s what we all want, if you are a new friend (30 years and counting) I miss you all and yes I intend to bore the pants of you soon enough, if you are an old friend (50 years or more) come and say hello be it on Farcebook or in the real world I don’t bite (well not anymore) life is too short to worry about any of this, I’m a friend for life, if I was a friend at school I’m still a friend now, I’m not after anything than to know that you are all alright!

So, there you go on this crazy countdown towards 500 continues, I’m getting all of my inner hippy out now so it doesn’t impact on the new version of the blog, I want it to have just a little bite! So, watch the skies for incoming there will be another one just around the corner, until then keep spreading the word, like share do what you do because the numbers have been good, until the next time………...Toodles!