I had to change the pace of the blogs, life had been
shit and I really didn’t want to infect the blogs any more than I had, so I drew
a line in the sand and I took a stand. My intention is to stand and fight and
if I have to I will take life and its four horsemen down with me, together me
and the wife intend to Burn the sky (hence the title and yes the name game is
very much in play).
I was happy that I had blogged and had got it out of
the way, but I was running on empty and the vapours were not something I wanted
to smell, something was rotten and for once it wasn’t me, but life itself, and
for once I wasn’t going to be beaten, I had a cunning plan and I intended to
put it into operation. Thankfully I was back to work and even that wasn’t
cutting the mustard, well that’s not exactly true, it was, but I was listless,
the days were just bleeding into each other, each day becoming just a mind
numbingly boring slog, even coming through the front door to see our hell hound
bouncing about because he’s happy to see me (WTF) didn’t kick start the motor
of life, but at least there was a spark, that at least was something, I’m not
used to being the centre of attention, ha go figure.
I had yet another Dr’s appointment actually it was
meant to be with the practise nurse I started to panic when I saw a Dr sat in
the room (oh dear now what?) as it happens
it wasn’t as bad as I thought, the super tanker that is me is slowly but
gradually being pulled back on course, I was presented with a new medication
(that was to have ramifications more of that later) I thought they were going
to just call me fat! however I had lost some weight (again WTF!) nothing over
the top but certainly baby steps, the worrying
thing was the fact that my test results for my heart weren’t back (I did try to
tell them I didn’t have one!) ah well I have another appointment soon so maybe
that will present me with some better news, back to more work and sometimes the
wife is on her duty shift on a late shift and it would appear I have become
accustomed to sitting in the dark at home, now not in a miserable or miserly
well (well actually I’m not sure on the last part) I have used the cover of
dark to sit and try and have a working plan for life in general and it has
seemed to work (so far) it might not be perfect, but I’m getting there, baby
steps boys and girls baby steps!
I have also spoken to the youngest on the odd occasion
usually about food and how to cook something (seeing as how I’m the home Marco
Pierre White……cough splutter not!) it’s nice to make contact even if for a
little while, as I keep saying the world keeps turning and she is growing and
starting to spread her wings, she is no longer our little girl anymore (try telling
the wife that) for once it appears I am thinking of myself and giving myself
some space, funny how that works, I need to be careful I might get to like it!
Again back to work and the 17th audit of
the year thankfully the last one that is aimed at specifically me, not that I
mind, my average is sitting at 96% I know I’m doing something right, if I’m not
that’s what the audit is for, so unlike other people I never panic about an
audit especially when the nearest person on the audit trail has a 71% rate (oh
dear) I’m not perfect but I always try my best. Thankfully it is helping me
come back to an even keel! Hopefully as you read this that you might realise
I’m getting better, I’m not “happy” or “fixed” but I am fighting the good
fight. Some people are having some very heavy times in their lives, I hope I
can offer them the support that they have offered me over the last couple of
months, this year has been decidedly shit for friends and family through
sickness and health, Life will win in the end (it always does) I just have no
intention of giving in or of going quietly (that’s the new me go figure) music
has as always been helping and I have been playing even more music (if that is
even possible) but it’s always the classics, but what the hell, I’m having fun
with the stuff that I’m listening to and that’s what music has always been
about!
We had a jolly jaunt to take the youngest some food
supplies at Uni, I checked the weather forecast, “there’s going to be some rain
but we should be OK” famous last words a journey that takes just over 70
minutes one way took a little over 150 minutes (you do the math) to get there, we
didn’t stay long because of the condition of the rain soaked roads on the way
there, but it took us over 390 minutes to get back with many diversions and
downed trees with a smattering of drowned policemen doing a valiant task of
getting us on our way home, the worst weather we have driven through, my hearts
go out to the people in Cumbria and all of the support people who endured
though that long night.
The next day although we were drained we had arranged
to go and see G & E, who because of our situation we felt that we had
neglected them, we simply hadn’t been the best company and G had enough on his
plate without us adding to it, we even turned up on time ………..well for us,
within ten minutes of the arranged time, we set off to The Rattler and had a
wonderful Sunday lunch, but as always it ended way too soon, the previous days
adventures were taking the toll, the wife had pulled something (ooo er missus) and
was struggling with her breathing, we came home after a lovely meal (and even
better company) like the old couple that we are and snuggled on the settee with
the hell hound at our feet.
The following days have moved on at a swift pace, back
to work and a brief respite with SMOR and his good lady, Whitesnake hit the
toon and we were hooked up with brilliant seats (thanks man) and passes for the
after show, we missed Black Star Riders (on purpose) after seeing them a half a
dozen times in 18 months we wanted the company of a likeminded lunatic ( I can
hear him now shouting “how very dare you”) we watched the band (no review I
enjoyed it, I know I was surprised as much as you the reader hahaha end of story) met with some peeps and missed
loads more, we then headed out as Def Leppard were getting arrested for
throwing a bag of cats down some stairs ………………..oh no I mean as Joe Elliott
started singing, to be honest the last time I saw a full Leppard concert the
drummer had two arms (High and Dry Tour if you were interested) they have done some nice stuff, they just
don’t interest me enough to want to watch them, good luck if you want to but no
thanks for me.
The next day I was Duty Dog, I know me in in charge of
a billion-pound shopping centre, it frightens me as well, well not as much as
it used to. It’s a long shift which I usually while a way dealing with stupid
people who should not be allowed out of the house, never mind their street
without a carer! A quick turnaround after a late night does not make me a happy
camper, but I got through the day painlessly and without killing or maiming
anybody, a low profile was the order of the day, once home with the wife back
indoors we were soon ensconced watching all the crap on the TV that we had
recorded but not watched, I made a killer sweet and sour chicken meal and then
we drifted off into a TV stupor, then we climbed up the wooden hill as we were
returning to Carlisle to pick up our youngest and bringing her home so she can
serve in servitude over Christmas or something similar, that sounds so wrong
written but it still strikes my funny bone over and over again , mind you as I pull
this particular funny out, I discovered that so far all university has done is
to teach my youngest how to drop the F-Bomb with monotonous regularity………..go
figure my tax pounds working for the good of the country, but as always I get
ahead of myself!
We were able to drag ourselves from our pit at a silly
time (I was going to say at the crack of dawn but the wife kept asking who the
hell is Dawn?) of the morning at a time when darkness still ruled (I know its
December I was trying to paint a picture) and headed westwards as more heavy
weather was heading into Cumbria and we didn’t want a repeat of the previous
weekend, the wife still wasn’t well, ongoing health issues no not me, mind you
I do believe I am the perfect tonic! So I was concerned for her, we got there
in record time announcing to the youngest that the eagle had landed, we were
like UN peacekeepers going to get refugees out of a war torn country once on
board we got the hell out of dodge with Charlie firing all they had at our
Chinook……………………. hang on I’m having Vietnam flashbacks for some reason! We got
out ahead of the bad weather although we could see it coming in, at the half
way point we stopped at a Little Chef for second breakfast (well we were hungry
Hobbits) the weather caught up with us and it was a steady downpour as we
crawled back into Gimpsville, stopping briefly to pick up the hell hound (who
the Kraken was looking after just in case that there was a repeat of last
week’s debacle) we headed the last stretch with a hell hound going mental as he
was really happy to see the youngest, the wife was working up a head of steam
as she thought she was going to have parking issues (don’t ask, we could live
miles from anybody and she would still get annoyed bless her…………..it’s good she
has a hobby so to speak!) thankfully there was a spot and we gratefully
retreated indoors before the snow arrived!
As it happens the snow kept falling, I took great
pleasure in resumption of my kitchen duties and cooked for the family, and yes
still it snowed then just as we were getting ready to snooze (I mean watch TV)
the was a knock at the door (ok it was the doorbell, but the doorbell ringing
just wasn’t as dramatic as it needed to be) it was keeper of the royal hounds
and his good lady wife what a surprise, the whole of Gimpsville covered in snow
and they had travelled all the way from sunny Shields to see “real snow” a
wonderful surprise as we don’t get many visitors (let’s be honest who the hell
visits Gimpsville especially in winter) as always with any visit it was over
way too soon and they had to fight their way back to the land of the living
(well sort of). Sunday was exactly what a Sunday should be, nice and quiet
Monday was a return to work with some worrying problems, my new tablets were
stating to give my kidneys problems and I was considering to stop taking them,
then the flood gates opened quite literally, damn I had to be quick and there
was (and as I type) still a few issues, tablets stopped being taken
unfortunately I was told that wasn’t going to be the answer as it would take
roughly the same length of time to flush them out of my system (damn that’s
nearly ten days, I’m on day eight as I sit here) Tuesday was even worse, not
funny and then there was the burning as well, I’m a bloke I’m crap at being
poorly the wife was as always an angel of devotion (at least she didn’t say
suck it up buttercup)I struggled on and at times I felt I was stuck in a
pension queue at the post office, once home I tended to crawl into my spot on
the settee, just me and the wife (as the youngest had been dragged off to the
Kraken’s Lair) we were watching a programme (I can’t even remember what now)
and it was describing the effects of PTSD, and wallop I was blindsided,
thankfully it didn’t last long, I was more than impressed in how I dealt with
the attack, the wife helped, but the black cloud ran away with its tail tucked
between its legs, that’s a good sign although at the time it wasn’t.
The week progressed with major fallouts and an attempt
on the Krakens life, I won’t be going into details simply because I wasn’t at
either incident mind you if I had been for the falling out, I do believe the
police might have been called to cart me off, I’m not a happy bunny some people
(including Family) are a waste of skin. The week crawled towards the weekend
not before the pit stop at the quacks, only for him to tell me that my heart is
fine (WTF) and I’m doing all the good things for my other problem and to keep
it up. Friday arrived and I came home as the wife went out to work I didn’t
even turn on any electrical device I simply sat in the dark and brooded, again
it wasn’t all good but it did get better, thankfully by the time the wife got
home I had put the side lights on and was at least “cheery” I think it was the
continuous running backwards and forwards to the loo that had me down, but the
new me dusted myself off and I got on with it and I didn’t mind not being
connected to that other world you know “the internet”!
Saturday came and I was duty dog again and it was
funny watching people who didn’t get the bus go pale when they realise how much
it is to get “public transport” ah well I hope you enjoy your Christmas parties
later on in the day, I didn’t attend mine although I have been on an upward
turn I still wasn’t anywhere ready for some social interaction, I was a good
boy and came home and enjoyed an evening of Queen taped on the Sky box from the
previous evening, and if you don’t mind me saying it was
………………………………………..AWESOME!
Saturday night we also had the Hurricane who was as
always a handful (girls are so much easier to deal with) Sunday has been more
of the same and at the moment we are getting our gear on to try and put some
that’s crossed with a mink (vicious little critters) and a Tasmanian devil, and
that’s just to get him up the stairs, I’m sure it will all work out in the end.
Back to work for a short week in the run towards Christmas, the last shift
being a duty dog shift the rota always goes pear shaped at the end of the year
although the wife was on time at the end of the shift well I say on time for
her 40 minutes isn’t too bad, according to her she can do no wrong, well would
can I say to that well I can think of a few things but surely they are not
printable in a family blog (WTF) Christmas came and went with hardly any
issues, the dinner I cooked was nice and on time just like the Kraken who didn’t
stay too long, Santa wasn’t kind because I’m told I’m too old for that shit,
although I did manage to get myself some CD’s ( an Al Di Meola box set, a
couple of Supertramp classics a Black Sabbath album that I didn’t have a bought
copy of, all classics) now I just have to get through my holiday and go back to
work (I’m dreading what I have to go back to but hopefully it will keep my
brain occupied) just the wife swearing at technology (and she is our geek
squad) if I put a swear box in the living room she would be owing the box a few
million pounds I kid you not!
So there you go the last blog of the year, I intend
for them to be written by a happier (fingers crossed) person in the new year
and my intention is to post 52 blogs next year, some may be small but they will
be posted whether I like it or not, misery will not be allowed to have company,
life’s too short and I don’t want the few friends and readers that I have to
get the idea that I’m an old misery (old yes misery no). Times have been crap
and hopefully this year we might (although I gave up holding my breath years
ago) just get some good times, I’m sure there will be tears after what’s gone
before us but hopefully less and less and a stronger stride in our pace as we
take on life at its own game, I’m not asking for much, just a little sunshine
to peak out from behind the clouds every now and again, so until the new year
keep spreading the disease (I really do mean word) watch the skies for incoming
I wish you and yours all the best and a fabulous new year until then……Toodles!
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