This is the picture

Now don't be alarmed, don't panic I'm going to say a few things here that some might think that I'm being controversial, I'm not really its just depends on how you view the big picture!

Firstly this is going to be the penultimate blog of the year, there I said it, I loving writing but I'm not in the right place to publish anything, too much going on in my tiny mind to comprehend, nobody can argue with that, as nobody knows what's going on in my head! I'm totally sick of publishing bile and although I have a ton of ideas that aren't bile, I'm not happy posting stuff that's not 100% I'm struggling with the big picture and I feel disconnected from the wife and all living things, so I believe that I have to at least offer her some support, this is not goodbye but quality control (at last) or so I would have myself believe.

I need to get some traction in my life, I have nobody to blame for this malaise but myself, if I don't get some traction people are going to get fed up and will cut the ties that bind, I know I have had a load of offers of help and I thank you all for that, however its something that I need to do, no matter how many offers of assistance I receive its something only I can do, so don't think that I have hit rock bottom (nearly but not quite) I know that I have to dust myself off and get on with it, I have done it before I'm sure that I can do it again.

I just had the crappiest birthday with only my brother really remembering it, not that I normally celebrate it, but the fact that the kids have to be reminded by their mother kicked me in the slats just a tad, adding up to my (imaginary ) tale of woes, so today I shall begin the long haul back to normality, if anybody wants to have a pop you can, just try walking a mile in my shoes then you might understand why I have become such a fucking misery, maybe it will shine some light on to why I am wired the way that I am.

So as I have said I am trying to right the displaced ballast (I'd love to know why I use all these nautical terms) in my rusty keel so if you see me on the street trust me I am trying to do my best, the blogs both old and new have being doing great business, and I have no idea why! over 15000 this year alone, go figure, keep spreading the disease I will be back hopefully better, but if all is equal I doubt before the new year, maybe a year round up and then to kick off the new year in a better frame of mind, I love all of the people who read and comment so don't panic its just a speed bump in the road, until the next time Toodles!