OK so you all know that I was intending to be a good boy did I actually do the deed or was I a lunatic well read on and find out?
We had intended not to be the first people there, so we set off at one o'clock and with only one slight detour to a petrol(bunch of robbing Twunts) station we had a quiet jaunt down to our destination, I had been going to be a naughty boy (if only for a second) and refuse to get out of the car, but I had enough apprehension so I just wanted to get it over with as it happens we were virtually the first people there, which in reality was a better thing than intended and thankfully I knew just about everybody there so I wasn't as anxious as I could have been ( I don't do well with "new"people) I was able to say hello to the peeps and position myself to the back of the party, as always my cunning plans went adrift straight away as the seat that I sat in immediately called in the united nations to get the fat bastard who was sitting in it the hell out of it, needless to say I beat a retreat back over the maginot line and stood at my post at least until other bodies arrived thankfully the chair recovered it's composure, although I don't think I did.
As more people arrived I knew I couldn't stand all day so again I went in with the heavy brigade and got myself into something made from girders and was comfortable, and I conversed with various people who put me at my ease and we sat and drank the beer that we had brought, me being the willing goffer collecting drinks for peeps and being able to say hello as I wandered through the ever growing throng, although there were some people there who I didn't know it was a happy go lucky kind of atmosphere so I didn't mind, there was much brandishing of sausage's (G would have had a field day) and general chit chat, the weather was kind and so were the people populating the event as always there was some scurrilous gossip and because I didn't know the people I didn't take any notice ( I know this will come back to bite me but I'm a bloke I have the attention span of a fish unless it's something that I am interested in) and as the day went on the crowd grew sparse but the event rumbled on and it was good fun (well I enjoyed myself) there was a bit more grilling done and the evening wound itself up.
We were preparing to leave when the wife who was at the front of the establishment, she was having a joyous moment when she went down like she had been picked off by a Russian sniper in Stalingrad (sorry about the second world war references but there was a long conversation about German Tanks or Panzers as us sad bastards like to call them) when she came back in she looked awfully sheepish but the blood from her wounds looked like she had been actually at Stalingrad for some hand to hand fighting thankfully we had a fully supplied field hospital and Lady J stepped into the breach like something out of M.A.S.H (I'm not sure which character, I won't say nothing as her skills saved the wife from losing both legs from the knees down and she might beat me up.....Klinger!) thankfully the skilled surgeon saved not only her legs but her sight and at least both lungs but that's a tale for another blog!
There were plenty of suggestions for the title of the blog, one of which because I have led a sheltered life(trust me I have) was quite an interesting one until I actually confirmed what it was actually about and there's me grinning like a loon going "yeah that sounds cool" until I did indeed confirm using the urban dictionary that it indeed was what Lady J was referring to! Damn I am gullible, I can also confirm that I have no intention of doing a similar book to this Fifty Shades of Polythene that's doing the rounds I am an author of some respect (I might also be not not very good at writing smut!)
We did a good deed and ensured that not only did our resident surgeon arrived safe and well (and no I haven't tried your muffins yet ....oo er missus) and one fashioned obsessed waistrell who was by the time of being ejected from the car was suffering with the affects of his girly Rose (his words not mine) and yes the jacket did look fab, we headed back off into the night heading back to the Consett delta where us Clampetts stored the wagon away from marauding numpties and where the wife suffered in silence and I snored like a diesel engine in an old tractor. Off to the local A& E department this morning after a small breakfast (which will be even smaller for me after seeing a photograph from the back were I look like a pair of semi detached houses) wound cleaned and dressing changed I sit here typing this out, having enjoyed my weekend where as I thought I was going to be unhappy (well I was just not as much as I would normally be under these situations)I was pleasantly surprised, My intention for the day was that I was going to raise hell at the medical centre about not being able to get an appointment but with all the hullabaloo for the wife I have a cunning plan which will spring into action the next time I'm off work or maybe a late evening just as they are about to shut up shop hahaha we will see! back to work tomorrow (oh wunderbar) and because off the excessive blog writing of late I intend to (try) keep a low profile! so until then keep safe and play nice and if can't play nice then you mustn't be a nice person and believe me there's tons of them about ....Toodles!
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