The brightest bulb has burned out.

I happen to think that if I don't examine my life, then surely my life has not been worth living (don't worry this is not a doom and gloom blog) I also happen to think that there is the potential of heartache could float to the surface, with that in the front of my brain whenever I'm down (which isn't as often as it used to be honest) i constantly examine and re-examine episodes of my earlier life and so here is where I'm at today!

The only progress I can say with total honesty is that I now have interaction with a much wider range of friends (yes friends me with my reputation) I'm not the insular teenager I turned into (as a child I was quite open to friendship) although my fragile ego (ah come on boys and girls I blog and publish my own books even I know I have some kind of ego) gets shattered a number of times over the years, it has not shaped me in a negative way, unfortunately progress is usually short lived because each and every deflation (oooh that sounds so rude) was usually followed by an aggressive assertive ego building session (doesn't sound like me)to make me a more resilient replacement/ass-hole (delete as you feel appropriate) son, soldier, lumberjack, ass-hole, drunk, husband, writer, divorced, ass-hole, drunk, stand up type of guy, husband, father, hard worker, ass-hole etc etc (you get the picture)  not that I have studied my life cycle much!

Success, failure they are in actuality just false selves because they are just fleeting moments in our existence, with no real substance or permanence and yet we carry them with us for eternity (damn when did I ever get this deep?) so where does this leave me? ego less ....yeah right I'm still blogging hahahahaha (and tonight I take over the world hahahahaha), but then it struck me like a bolt from the blue what if I am not a name but a number .....24626445 if your interested!

There you go even in a tight corner I can waffle for my country and pull a blog out of nowhere, I'm counting down until I start my holiday next Friday night and praying that my pay rise is in the bank otherwise you could see a very depressing blog next Friday night but until then play nice and watch the skies there will be another blog along before then ....Toodles!