The Mystical Potato Head Groove Thing.

Ok so it had been all quiet on the western front and G was away on a mission on the utmost secrecy, even Cookie didn’t know where he was allegedly he was deep cover somewhere in the old Soviet Bloc he was armed and extremely dangerous .......ok so he gone for a boys week of surfing in Cornwall but the other stuff sounded better! we still decided to have ago for a drinkie and for a change we decided to go to the Brit instead of our usual haunt there was only the four of us, so as always the wife was running on her own time zone and all though I did encourage her (shout) it was to no avail and when we finally got there after picking E up we got through the door and poor SMOR was sitting there all forlorn. 

We got ourselves an alcoholic beverage and sat and generally chatted amongst ourselves enjoying the banter as we normally do, a few more drinks and a decision to move venues just across the road to the Maltings an ok pub but upstairs and being buoyed by drink I jogged up the stairs like the crippled person that I am, I wasn’t overly enamoured by the prices either but we soldiered on but the atmosphere was also a drag and we wanted to fun so we headed back to the Brit and that’s when it happened time stood still and all other things in the universe ceased to matter we were obviously missing G as we all started to talk like him (nobody can walk like him certainly not me with my knees) and so we decided that we had to get the word “Potato” into every single sentence, utterance anything we were naming fave CD’s such as Dark side of the Potato by Potato Floyd you can guess what went on which even now I wouldn’t dare to put anything further as the space time continuum would rupture and spew “potato’s” everywhere. Needless to say we all nearly needed an ambulance and a team of specialists for heart and brain surgery cos we chuckled so much, I like the fact that we all channelled G so much that we were all nearly carted off to the loony bin ah well all good things do sometimes need to come to a close….well not quite!

The week returned to normal (well as normal as we actually allow it) frivolity soon raised its head with the sending of various photographs of you guessed it “potato’s” I even set up a page on Farcebook for The Potato Liberation Army yes even at my advancing years I still like to be just a tad silly.  On the Thursday SMOR got us in to see The Union Actually that was a story in itself as we met up in The Mile Castle in Newcastle for a pint and a bite to eat, Curry being the order of the night the wife wasn’t too happy because she knew I would be loaded for bear afterwards but she smiled sweetly and got on with it, we weren’t to bothered about the support bands (it must be an age thing because when I was younger I wanted to see everybody) so we wandered up with about 10 minutes to spare annoyed to see that it was upstairs and that it was sold out (the band deserved it but in the interests of safety it should have been moved downstairs because it was a disaster zone) me and the wife decided to head back down the stairs and sit and listen to the great music, I tend to agree with SMOR that’s as big as they are going to get a great band but rock music is dead at least in it’s present form we headed out the doors early took SMOR home well we did have to have a cheeky drink in the “Wouldhave” well we would have been naughty not to call in we were only being social able honest…..

We dropped SMOR off and headed off into the darkness heading back to that mythical land where potatoes live wild and free without fear of being stripped naked and smashed to bits ok I lie but it does sound like a heavenly place, a dream that might one day be a reality and not a pipe dream of a lunatic Russian billionaire intent on freeing our beloved “pomme de terre” damn I have started talking in tongues somebody get this boy a doctor or a drink ......actually I prefer the second one but if it has to be the first one can it be a female one and pretty as well ooops time to move on

So the week came to a juddering halt work beckoned and I was looking at 10 days on nightshift doing Christmas decorations at work I wasn’t happy I wasn’t even pretending to be happy it’s the one part of my job that I hate, but it did mean that I could take the time to catch up on as much work as I possibly could, not that ever goes to plan obstacles and diversions always get thrown in the way but hopefully with a bit luck these would be navigated to a satisfactory result.

Well what happened to all the “potatoes”  I hear you ask well that really would be telling I have a feeling that this potentially could run and run so watch this space or even the stars because you never know when the Potato liberation Army will strike ready to strike fear where ever a potato lives in fear and oppression ..... Ok I need my meds now and I need to lie down in a darkened room but don’t say that you haven’t been warned

Music

I don’t read the music press because I think they are all failed musicians bitter at others hard work, I like music actually I love music it’s the one thing I cannot do without, I could live without a TV I could at a push live without something to read, BUT and I really do mean the capital letters I COULD’NT live without music it helps me get through the day sometimes through the night and as always through the shitty thing that can be at times my life!

I like comedy as well, but its music that sooths the savage breast, my first single (which I still have) was Alice Cooper Hello Hooray, my first two albums (I remember when I bought of my music who I was with and the such  thing) was Mike Oldfield Tubular Bells and Blue Oyster Cult On your feet or on your knees an album I still play at least once a month, Tubular bells I can live without but I do need a regular dose of BOC!

I was influenced by my brother to a degree, but then punk happened and although I still liked those “hippy” bands as they became known, I just liked the faster more aggressive music to be honest most of them were just pop bands masquerading under the new guise until pop was fashionable again, I loved quite a few of the one hit wonders as well as the more serious contenders, I still play the first three Stranglers albums on a regular basis, I do find it funny that not many made it past the debut album stage live fast die young was certainly the motto that captured punk, there were a fair few good debuts but some really crap follow ups I love The Tom Robinson Band’s Power in the darkness, but TRB2 while it does indeed still have  some charm to be honest its dross! The dickies managed two albums but then drugs kicked in, The Vibrators were cracking they just couldn’t sustain it, The Boomtown Rats were just a pop band, Stiff Little Fingers were good but were soon turned into a pop band (a cracking good one though) and The Jam just believed their own hype, The Adverts were cack, Sham 69 were just that a sham! Then the freaks came out like Lene Lovich and well we then descended into hell!

By which time I was being dragged back into rock music I do prefer a melodic singer rather than a rabble rousing shouter, and as for this cookie monster stuff that passes as vocals not my cup of tea, I like to think that I don’t pose, just because something comes along that’s new doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good, I have friends who jump from to ship to ship to this day and they probably do have a better knowledge of music than me but I would rather have quality over quantity every day, I’m as guilty as the next man there are only so many hours in the day and I will admit to liking new music less and less, I return to what I know and love.

There’s not much I don’t like Prog rock I like, Punk rock I like, Rap some of it I think is clever while most of it is repetitive, Pop well let’s be honest you can’t beat a good tune can you, Rock music Metal whatever you want to call it that goes without saying, but it has to be good I prefer somebody with a voice and who can hold a note, I’m not a fan of stuff without a proper drummer on it but I bet there is about 99% of the music out there I will at least listen to it before I say I don’t like it!

Led Zeppelin (yes boys and girls we are going down this road) most people rave over them and they leave me stone cold, I understand why they appeal to the mass public but sorry they do absolutely squat for me, most people look at me blankly when I say I don’t like them, am I not entitled to an opinion, if you like them good luck to you but sorry that’s not the altar I kneel at! when it comes to music and I can guarantee you that 99.9% of the stuff I like has people going WTF that’s what it’s all about if we all liked the same, the world would indeed be a very boring place.

There’s a few bands that I have gone to watch (free tickets and the such like) and if they have been good I will admit it, the biggest shock to me was Marc Almond who supported Cher, and he rocked! no pitchy notes or anything a good set that I enjoyed, I didn’t want to but I did my toe was tapping from the word get go! Some bands that I love have done some of the worst gigs I have ever seen, Queen at St. James Park stands out a country mile and trust me I’m a huge Queen fan, usually it’s the set list well it was in that case! I’m not a fan of greatest hits sets I want to see the good stuff, I have seen some local bands  that have put on better shows than any stadium band could ever hope to, simply because they still have the belief that they enjoy it as opposed to it being a pay check!

Yes I had my little stint in the music business and it was fun but that’s all it was I personally think I was adequate, I had the help of some very good friends but it really was just a moment in time, some fun while I figured out what I wanted to do with my life (still don’t and still don’t care!) it’s very much like a muscle if you don’t use you lose it and I haven’t used it for over 30 years properly so rest assured I won’t be stepping back into the frame anytime soon. Music has been with me through good times and bad times I even know what music I want played at the service when I die, Ivor Biggun will figure prominently hahaha. Music has been the driving force for me, it drives me up the wall I can’t play an instrument or the fact that I can’t sing (I could when I was younger but that’s another story for another blog) or whistle hell as I have stated in various other blogs and stuff I couldn’t hit a bloody chime bar in time!

This has been a far shorter blog than anticipated purely because I have no desire to be picked up and transported to the nearest loony bin, I have done some silly things in the past that are related to music, actually far too many to mention but I did have fun, both of my kids like music and to me that’s a plus, I keep rattling on about winning the lottery it’s probably best I don’t because after buying a house I would more than likely spend a fortune going to see bands both big and small, buying merchandise and official copies of all and sundry maybe it’s just as well hahaha! When I think of what I have spent over the years it’s actually frightening I probably could have bought a couple of houses (couldn’t we all) but life’s for living or so I’m told!

Music is what keeps me feeling vital my favourite album from start to finish (which really does make people go WTF) is John Wesley under the red and white sky and it really can be a bit depressing but the songs speak volumes to me, I saw him sing most of the album in the sunshine outside a pub in Haddington many years ago and it has been played constantly where ever I go I love it! Your favourite album does not necessarily need to be the biggest album in the world! Music means different things to different people at different times, that’s why there is so many different forms out there from grind core to house to pop back to country and all that’s in between a good song is a good song it’s just depends what you consider that song to be!

I remember vividly a friend’s dad who claimed the music we (his sons and me) liked was cack but that the music he liked was the best, just as Tutti Frutti came on the radio and I sarcastically said that they don’t write lyrics like that anymore, and he didn’t pick me up on it he honestly thought that I meant it hahaha, each to their own enjoy and pass onto to your children they may not like everything you like and we certainly won’t like everything that they themselves call “music” but that is what life is all about!

Now Hear This 4

So here we are once more, a list of questions from some of the more forthright amongst you the discerning reader, this is becoming a popular bit of the blogs life span and my intention is to do one on every hundredth edition, that’s assuming we get to another landmark that is, but for now enjoy!

Am I happy with the way that the blog has grown? No, I don’t think that I am or will ever be, it is what it is, I’m not sure how I would define happy for the blogs some days I love it some days I don’t, lets just go with the flow on this one!

Do you still have a tribe? It would appear that I do, some of you come and go depending on your mood, but I would say that I have around 70 people who send your thoughts my way, pointing out my mistakes or generally just to say hi, people have a life so I’m quite happy how fluid it is, some people pop up more than others, some simply once in a blue moon it’s all good.

Why do you repeat yourself? Its simply the way my life cycle rotates, I would prefer to do more Tee Hee Club style blogs but the truth is our social life is pretty nonexistent at the moment due to the wife’s working hours, the club will rise again I’m sure of it! But I write about what’s in my mind at the time of typing, its not meant to life shaping just the inane dribbling’s of an old man.

Are you still obsessed with numbers/ratings? To a degree I am, I know where we are in a general location , I still check daily but I don’t check hourly like I used to, although the blogs do great numbers they are not earth shatteringly good, I’m happy with them, damn I would be good if they were single digits, I have no idea how to advance or promote the blog outside its base, the more you guys click like or whatever you do on your social platforms, would I like it to do better, yes I would, but I am happy with my lot, I bet you never thought you would hear that said on this blog lol!

When will we see The Whalers Dues? As soon as its ready and when it can be served without the bile that is laced throughout the entire piece, it’s a divisive piece of writing and one that I have put a lot of work into, and because of that it will be published when I see fit, now I know a lot of the regular readers will be unhappy with it, simply because I have wrote about it over the last few months its my white whale I suppose, it will see the light of day at the right time, hell I could post it tomorrow even I don’t know!

What is the most popular country for readers? Well this is pretty much neck and neck its tied between Germany and Sweden, followed by the UK and then Japan, the rest of the world does make an appearance from time to time but they are the top 4.

What’s happened to the historical blogs? As I’ve said in the past, I want to do justice to some of the great times I have had in the musical business, however sometimes the brain cells do not reflect what actually happened, I also have to be in the right frame of mind, these were my so called dark times and its sometimes very painful to dredge up the past, there will be more as they are the most popular read blogs, however it has to be done on my terms not anybody else’s!

Are you still depressed? I’m not stupid enough to say I’m cured, but I would say I have taken steps in the right direction, again I’m not the person to ask, others might beg to differ!

Why are some you obsessed by old blogs? To be honest this is my question to you lot, I still get people obsessing over certain blogs, “Girls” being one of them I have no regrets of what I posted, however as I have stated previously I have no intention of naming anyone and if it continues to get the same level of attention I may simply leave the blog up but I may redact all of the actual blog, get a life and stop obsessing about a girl I went out with in school , hahaha that’s my job!

What was my happiest Music industry memory? This has been the hardest one in this set of questions, I can’t put my finger on any one thing it depends on the mood the set of circumstances and I suppose there are simply too many to simply pull one out of the hat, some I have written about, some I haven’t, when I decide you lot will be the first people to know, is that a deal?

What would be your last meal? What do you lot know that I don’t? I’m a man with simple tastes so I suppose egg and chips, sorry if that disappoints you, it is what it is.

How long do you see this continuing? How long is a piece of string? I have no idea, there have been quite a few times when I have come close to stopping then  I come roaring back with a million and one ideas, I suppose I will know when it is, I know its not going to last forever, I’m finding it hard to keep it fresh for me never mind you lot, as long as I’m happy doing it, but I know there will come a time when the bridge will be out and I wont be able to continue!

How much stock do you have? I have and I know this because I counted them all yesterday around 2000 bits and pieces in various state of prep maybe about 8 fully finished, but I’m not sure where they fit in the grand scheme of things, this does not include the Whalers Dues, I have around 150 nearly there, but they lack something, be it humour or even a touch of humanity, the rest are literally just paragraphs or even lines, simply ideas that I had the good fortune to have something to jot them down before they faded like snowflakes do. All of them are long hand and in ink, I have a number of books with ideas that sometimes just sometimes I flick through for inspiration, Hip to be square was one such blog lets see what the seeds that I have sown produce in time! I do know I have deleted a lot more in fits of despondency that I wish I hadn’t simply because although I remember the subject matter the simple spark has long gone!

Do I enjoy my writing? Most of the time I would say yes, sometimes its like pulling teeth and sometimes its simply euphoric, those times are few and far between, and I take those days when they descend, the rest of the time I simply soldier on, because if you don’t put the work (and trust me I put an awful lot of work into these) in, well then its simply a waste of not only my time but yours as well.

How Old am I?  That’s for me to know and for you to find out, some of you lot obsess about the strangest things, what can I say, I’m an old, old man lol!

Have you peaked? No I don’t think I have, I have come close a couple of times, but then I find faults were I could have improved something, I feel that I have a way to go, rest assured once I feel that I have peaked, I will go with good grace, I don’t want to be like some old boxer clinging on to the ropes to relive past glory’s!

What has been the low point of the blog? The lowest point was this time last year, the numbers were shrinking and there was no obvious reason why, it got me down, I thought that the work was good, but results were poor and feedback virtually nonexistent, I dusted myself off and then fought back, then all of a sudden there was a rush of readers and comments, I breathed a sigh of relief and moved on, there have been times when I nearly stopped because my thoughts were so bleak, but again you the readers have brought me back many many times.

What is my favorite mode of transport for writing?  Well if I had to say one it would be the train, followed by the bus, I don’t drive but I’m not a huge fan of writing in the car I feel its bad manners to ignore the person I’m sharing the car journey with.

What else do you enjoy other than blogging? Erm, not a lot really enjoying time with my wife my friends, reading, music and that’s about it how boring can I be!

What does the road ahead bring? I have no idea, work is a busy time with further education (at my bloody age) beckoning, the wife needs to get well, the family needs to move on and be better, the blogs have to hit the spot otherwise I will lose interest as quickly as you lot would. I know I have a lot of back material but it still requires a lot of work, so I have to find the balance so that everything receives the care and attention it deserves, myself, the family, work and all the rest of the minutia that makes up my life, I intend to take August out, I feel the need to recharge my battery’s, I will still post stuff, material that has been published elsewhere but not here, I’m not expecting the numbers to be huge, its simply to keep a pulse for those of you who do surface from time to time and bitch when I haven’t posted something new, my intention is to keep quality running through the coming posts and not just quantity, I have said this before in the past, it all depends on what the brain cells kick out, I do see the finish line, its not for a while yet, lets see where the road takes me and hopefully some of you will be at the side of the road to wave at me from time to time!

And there you have it, I hope you enjoy the answers or even enjoy the fact that your question was picked, a lot of the questions were repeated so if you want to know what they were, go find all the other Now Hear This posts, so I now shuffle off and take a well earned blog break, keep an eye out for stuff over the next 4 weeks the stuff posted will be revamped material from other sources, keep spreading the disease until the next time……………….Toodles!

Bulletproof

Its all about tipping points in life, I seem to have crossed over a few and I seem to be in constant denial regarding where I am going!

I mused regarding this in the Spiral Architect blog but little did I know it was going to be in  a way more profound than I thought, again this is not, I repeat this is not a “oh woe is me blog” simply a stop on the roadside of life moment, and an attempt to give my head a shake, things are not in the correct order at the moment, slight aspirations of paranoia, thankfully due to social media, which I need to give a damn kicking to, I have fallen into old  bad habit of darkness, but at least I can recognize them these days and I can bitch slap them to hell!  I’m not sure what has happened, but at least this time I’m happy to take them on head first.

I’m not as bulletproof as I assumed that I was, maybe that was the issue? I thought I was doing better than I actually was. I’m not the most social creature on here in real life or even out there in the  big bad world, I used to be, what has happened to me? but those outings do a lot to gee me up just a little, however the wife although on a short hours contract she always seems to be on the wrong shift to have a social life, I hope our friends realise we are not being anti-social we are simply trying to juggle life and all that seems to come with it!

My health has been kicking my arse big style and I have to come to realise I’m never going to do the things I used to, play football, run, play squash, go canoeing, used to being the operative word, I have to accept this I don’t want to, so consequently my brain sends me off on spirals, I may not have been very good at any of those things I mentioned but I did enjoy them, again simple reasons for my happiness levels have been shrinking, it’s the little things that keep you sane, it’s the little things that keep your life in balance!

I am trying desperately to keep my health both mental and physical on an even keel, its tipping the scales in the wrong way at the moment and that’s why I am trying my best to retain some semblance of order, the medical professionals keep reading me the riot act, not believing that I am trying my best, I am, it’s just harder than I ever thought it would be, the chip, chip chipping away from the  mental health hasn’t been helping, but I can do better, I will do better, I must do better its as simple as that!

The wife’s health has not been the cure all that we thought it would be after major surgery back in January, and there are many minor battles still being fought, she is so much stronger then I ever could be, but even she has had some tough times and unlike me she does simply get on with it, with only a few moments of doubt on her part, all I can do is offer her my support and to let her know that I am indeed here for her. I am simply recognizing what is circling us and I know we have to be prepared to battle that little bit harder. Who knew getting old was going to be so complicated?

So that’s number 399 done, there is till time to get some serious questions in for the next one, I am also thinking that there is a shelf life for doing this, its great for me, however I have plateaued numbers wise, and although my vanity is quite happy with the numbers, I think if I can’t consistently break out of the box then maybe its time to shuffle off, don’t worry not just yet, maybe a break or something, I need to keep this fresh for me and all of you guys, this one of the better things for my mental health so don’t think that you are shot of me just yet, simply musing aloud so that you know what is swirling through the thought process!

So, get your arse in a comfy seat and get some snack’s because the next blog is number 400 you can’t say that you haven’t been warned and while you are at it, remember nobody is bulletproof we all die in the end, so watch the skies for incoming and keep spreading the disease until then though I guess it’s …………Toodles!

People are Strange

There’s a song called “People are Strange” and the honest truth of it is “No Shit” who has to be a brain surgeon to work that out, I’m going to get the good bit out of the way straight away, Some people are fab, some people might be slightly off, but that doesn’t mean that they are not genuine classic people, ”Gods” if you so wish to call them, purely because they are so helpful, no matter what they are going through, they will always help others, you really can’t get any better than that! And you know who those people are within your own circle of friends…………...don’t you?

These people shine out like a beacon and really do uplift the people in their group even if it’s in such a small way, they simply are stars from the word get go, that doesn’t mean to say that these people don’t have off days, they do, because besides what I have called them they are in fact simple (in a good way) honest, hardworking, caring people, they are not super beings they just appear to be, as they outshine  all around, the perception of these people will differ from group to group and individual to individual, some people that I might think are the salt of the earth may be considered by others as “not nice” we all have a slightly different perception to the world, but by and large there are good people out there, hopefully you shouldn’t have to look to far to discover them!

Then you have honest people who just wish to get by and will help but because of the drudgery of day to day life, don’t help as much as others wish for them to do, these are not bad people, they simply have more to deal than then necessarily they should be dealing with, you have to love these people because they are the lifeblood of Friends, Family and others that come into contact with you.

Angry is probably the biggest group of people out there and some are angry because of circumstance, some are angry for loss of a loved one, loss of a job, the list could be endless, however some are simply angry bitter people who hate to see other people being happy, these people should be avoided at all costs they will beat you into submission with ignorance and win simply because they are more experienced. Angry are usually jealous and vindictive, two lovely traits that just eat away at people and make them bitter and twisted as well.

You have sly people, again these individuals don’t like to see others enjoy life, you have haters, now these clever people are simply ignorant, don’t like your religion, colour, partner, size, again avoid these people they will not help you in life, I could go on and on with the various Neanderthals, but you get the general idea, there are some horrible people out there in the world, those who just wish to suck the life out of you, on public transport, at work in  Stores, Bus drivers, Car park wardens (the last one doesn’t bother me as I don’t drive……well except the wife who I drive nuts on a regular basis) the list would/could be endless but you know what, life’s too short, stop being a dick simply because you can, we all have our bad days, but again some people take being a dick too an Olympic standard!

If you can help somebody, try it, the Americans have a system call pay it forward, the more you do it the more people hopefully will be able to do it in return, I’m not saying go and  become a do-gooder, help your kids help your partner, help someone on to a bus (not under it) why have I become so altruistic, well some people I work with simply wish to score points they don’t want to help, their idea of “happy” is let’s get the people downtrodden and let’s keep them there, now again yes some people will definitely take the mickey , you soon find out who they are and you soon mark their card. Take a deep breath, as I get older I hate the world that we create as adults and no I don’t have a magic wand to deal with it, as I said some people are just born nasty, you can’t breed that out of some people, don’t try, you will fail and again life is way too short. I’m not a fan of keeping the great unwashed face down in the mire, I simply want to be treated the way that I expect to treat other individuals, maybe I’m clutching at straws, I don’t want anybody to panic and think I’m going to go off on a spree any time soon, I just don’t want my mellow to be harshed, am I an old hippy? sometimes I can be, sometimes I can be angry, sometimes I can be a whole smorgasbord of emotions, but I don’t wish harm to anybody, I don’t even feel anger to my first wife, or even my own father who abandoned his family 45 years ago, life really is too short, although I do subscribe to the “ a grudge is for life not just for Christmas” but I rarely follow up beyond 24 hours, me a blowhard, I guess you are right on that one , just because I remember peoples indiscretions doesn’t mean that I will act on it.

Well where do I fit in to all of this malarkey? I have no idea, all I know is that my desire is to wake up happy then take the rest of the day and all that that entails as it comes, that’s why sometimes when people see me I have a big black cloud hanging around me, I never have it when I wake up, I really would have issues then!

So, there you go I had a thought buzzing around in my head like a wasp who was pissed off, and I simply had to get it out, it’s more of a stream of……………yeah you know what I mean, I don’t intend to polish this one, this should give you an idea of what goes through my mind as I sit on a bus either going to or from work, I have a number of other ideas that will get polished and posted after the 400^th blog, keep the questions coming through , a few that have been sent through have been answered before, so they won’t be getting repeated unless I have a different answer (me with my reputation) most of the questions come from far and wide, obviously the people who know me locally and read the blog don’t have any burning questions (I am an open book) I always expect Norm to pop up with a southern rock question (you have to know Norm) but yes there will be an interesting set of questions (allegedly) this time around, so watch the skies …..incoming! and keep spreading the disease until the next time………..Toodles!

Spiral Architect

Wheels within wheels, life never seems to pause for a breath these days and things had been a bitty on the shitty side of things, I was determined not to let it beat me!

It felt like life had been circling the drain, work had also circling the same drain, my go to saviour from all things shitty and I felt that many of my relationships were in the same space, they weren’t it was just me having a moody! was it a good place or a bad place? I didn’t want to know, I was simply determined to stop the feeling dead in it tracks and have some fun with a capital F!

The last blog has done great numbers, although I do struggle with the historical ones for some reason, I do enjoy them, however I need to be in a good place to write them. The music page has taken a bit of a back seat simply because of time constraints, life is spinning so fast as we hurtle towards the end of July, I had 4 days on the sick (dodgy knee again) and although the Quack said I would be off for 6 weeks, nope that wasn’t an option purely because if I’m off for 6 weeks nobody can cover for me, yes some of  the light stuff, but none of the heavy duty / legal stuff, so I was better after 4 days well ish! and I then chained myself to my desk, still there just not bouncing about as much as I normally do!

Cunning plans are once again part of the fabric of life and as I said I was determined to spend some quality time with the wife, good thing or bad thing? who knows we had a lazy day on Saturday but did some of the things that the wife likes (shopping, shopping and just a little more shopping) I spent some on myself, WTF, but I actually was able to spend just a little on her! We started with a breakfast at our local spoons that was decidedly shite and I suspect part of my mine was recycled, complain hell no I simply won’t frequent it for a while, their loss not ours! A little wander to our cave of wonders and then the day meandered just as we wanted it to do.

Sunday was some chores which didn’t get done, so we flipped our cunning plan and went off to see  the youngest on the other side of the country had a nice lunch (curry for me, but the wife’s fish looked bloody lovely) we wandered through the streets and the shops and I bought some panzer porn (well a book on the Tiger tank)and to treat the wife once again, to be honest it was nice to treat her, I do spoil her, a slow drive home and then there was hedge to trim, a pooch to walk and then a blog to sort out (hell you think that these things write themselves) and its still so damn hot!

10 long days at work ahead, so music and blogging will be in short supply, but cunning plans do abound, including visiting friends out and about (it will have to wait until pay day) the wife works so many damn unusual hours it’s hard to co-ordinate, but if the allies can organise D day me and the wife can sure as hell plot a raid on the Shields Massive, incoming, you have been warned! So, a few more chores and then off to bed, one last thing its nearly time for blog number 400 and yes, it’s going to be another “Now here this” so get your questions in and we will put that out, hopefully before the end of the month. So, watch the skies there is definitely more coming, this weekend has been excellent the only thing missing was some Hurricane action, maybe next week, until then …………Toodles!

Hip to be square.

So, it’s 1986, I was back in Gimpsville, and I was (gulp) working for a living, a proper job with proper hours, as in up early and in late for very little money, I wasn’t the happiest camper, married life wasn’t the roaring success that had been imagined on both sides, all I wanted was a little honesty and some truth, it would appear that she wanted so much more, but didn’t want to put in the hard work for it!

Her parents still hated me (so that was a success) and she had been invited to a family do that she wanted to go to, I had no issues with that, one thing I have never said in any relationship is no, you have to work together, funny I made the same mistake twice (go figure) but at least my current partner is happy to work with me and thankfully is both truthful and honest!

Anyway, I digress (me with my reputation) back in 1986, I was only going to be sat in the house when I got an invite to a gig down in London, would I like to come and have a few drinks, erm that would be a hell yeah! I made sure I wasn’t at work, I booked my train tickets to go down on the Friday night come back on the Monday morning, there was going to be a few of us, yeah I think it has all the ingredients for a cracking weekend, I wasn’t loaded with cash, but I had enough to have a few drinks, the only problem was he wouldn’t tell who we were going to see, I scoured the music papers and the only people of interest who were playing on the date that he said was Buddy Rich at Ronnie Scott’s or Huey Lewis and the News at the Hammy Odeon, I was happy with both choices, but I still had a nagging doubt in the back of my mind!

My train was late afternoon to London, so I had picked a train that I knew would not be full, simply as people would be travelling in the opposite direction to get home, once settled in my seat I was happy to discover that I was the only person sat in the carriage, my only problem was I had a conductor who thought I didn’t have the right ticket, well once I had pissed him off he made a point of walking through  the carriage looking down his nose at me, that just made me want to give him a reason to hate me, so it was obviously time to get drunk! In those days I could gargle lager with the best of them, so 8 cans later I was well lubed and nearly fell onto the platform when we pulled into Kings Cross, thankfully I was meeting a couple of friends, so we all shared not only a taxi but also some cans, the taxi driver was a tad worried when we piled in, but he was soon happy when he realised we were from the (true) north of England and we were all true gentleman.

Once at the flat, well that became a blur as more alcohol, a visit to a pub, a visit to the alley to puke then return for more drink and then to Achmed’s for a trusty kebab, the world was fabulous and I embraced it with open arms, however I now needed to sleep I wasn’t as bullet proof as I thought! I awoke with a taste in my mouth that I would rather forget, however a quick shower and a brush of the old gnashers and I was feeling (almost) human and off to my favourite eating establishment, Mr Antonopoulos’s café, one full English later and some cracking banter we were up for anything, more of the in crowd arrived and we hit London like a hurricane with an awful lot more drinking and jolly merriment, also there was a rumour that I was seen dancing on the roof of a canopy of a rather plush hotel, well I say dancing more likely just drunken antics, as if you ask anyone who knows me (especially the wife) they will tell you I definitely can’t dance!

Due to the abuse of alcohol there one or two minor injuries, somebody had their foot run over by a taxi (not ours I hasten to add) and somebody may have vomited on the tube, to both of these, I can confirm it wasn’t me, a series of events in a Chinese restaurant, which I won’t mention for legal reasons, oh all right I was slightly drunk and I don’t remember the meal, I only know it was Chinese as I binned my t-shirt the next day because of the food (not vomit) that had stained it. Onwards to more drink, a bar we landed in I soon discovered fellow friends from Gimpsville who were surprised to see me and to see me in the state I was in, at this point I was well into double figures and couldn’t even speak gibberish, a little before ten I was taken home and left to sleep it off in the bath, I caused an awful ruckus when people arrived home to find me not in the flat, the front door wide open (well I didn’t have a key to get back in) and I was nowhere to be seen, it appears I got the munchies and turned up at Achmed’s ordered my usual kebab and sprite, I ate and drank my order and promptly fell asleep, I was so happy when I awoke the next day to find I had magically got home safe and sound.

The next morning was worse than the day before and I really did want to die, again a shower and a quick brush of the gnashers and off to get a full English it took me nearly an hour to finish it, to say I was fragile was an understatement, I was hanging, I had to have several mugs of tea to get through it, but it did revive me and I said Farewell to Mr Antonopoulos for the very last time, he had to be over 300 years old! It turns out he was 55 and retired back to Greece the very next year, to all intents and purposes he could still be alive today, now there’s a quest! More friends arrived and we were now like a small army, a loud boisterous party, but friendly nonetheless. We once again invaded the capitol city, but I was going to be a good boy as I had to be on the 6.30 am train back to Newcastle as I had to turn up to my place of employment, I did not like this working for a living!  Very nearly one last surprise my mate Steve Ridley in amongst the middle of us fresh from the USA where he had recently moved to, we were soon thick as thieves and the no drinking rule was forgotten, time for the gig we all jumped into taxi’s and as usual I did not pay attention, that is until realised that we were getting chucked out at Wembley, WTF! Well I was surprised.

Whitney Houston, do I look like a…………let’s not go there, we all piled in we all drank some and some of the crew even jigged about, can I just say it no it wasn’t me, I’m told we all enjoyed it, who am I to argue I was ahem just a little squiffy! I would have preferred any of the other two gigs but it was free and she was good………. Allegedly! We knew a few bodies on the crew so we were invited back stage we did drink some more and I have only a vague recollection of being put on the train in the morning, it was nearly seven months before I got my back and stuff back, I slept all the way home and got to work with time to spare thankfully I always kept spare clean uniform at work, I then promptly disappeared and did as little as I could, I arrived home just after 11 and the wife was suspicious that I looked as fresh as I did, what on earth could I have possibly got up to? I’m a good boy I am

So, there you go a historical one for a change, but there are one or two more bubbling away so watch the skies you never know what might pop up next, but until then ………Toodles!