Hip to be square.

So, it’s 1986, I was back in Gimpsville, and I was (gulp) working for a living, a proper job with proper hours, as in up early and in late for very little money, I wasn’t the happiest camper, married life wasn’t the roaring success that had been imagined on both sides, all I wanted was a little honesty and some truth, it would appear that she wanted so much more, but didn’t want to put in the hard work for it!

Her parents still hated me (so that was a success) and she had been invited to a family do that she wanted to go to, I had no issues with that, one thing I have never said in any relationship is no, you have to work together, funny I made the same mistake twice (go figure) but at least my current partner is happy to work with me and thankfully is both truthful and honest!

Anyway, I digress (me with my reputation) back in 1986, I was only going to be sat in the house when I got an invite to a gig down in London, would I like to come and have a few drinks, erm that would be a hell yeah! I made sure I wasn’t at work, I booked my train tickets to go down on the Friday night come back on the Monday morning, there was going to be a few of us, yeah I think it has all the ingredients for a cracking weekend, I wasn’t loaded with cash, but I had enough to have a few drinks, the only problem was he wouldn’t tell who we were going to see, I scoured the music papers and the only people of interest who were playing on the date that he said was Buddy Rich at Ronnie Scott’s or Huey Lewis and the News at the Hammy Odeon, I was happy with both choices, but I still had a nagging doubt in the back of my mind!

My train was late afternoon to London, so I had picked a train that I knew would not be full, simply as people would be travelling in the opposite direction to get home, once settled in my seat I was happy to discover that I was the only person sat in the carriage, my only problem was I had a conductor who thought I didn’t have the right ticket, well once I had pissed him off he made a point of walking through  the carriage looking down his nose at me, that just made me want to give him a reason to hate me, so it was obviously time to get drunk! In those days I could gargle lager with the best of them, so 8 cans later I was well lubed and nearly fell onto the platform when we pulled into Kings Cross, thankfully I was meeting a couple of friends, so we all shared not only a taxi but also some cans, the taxi driver was a tad worried when we piled in, but he was soon happy when he realised we were from the (true) north of England and we were all true gentleman.

Once at the flat, well that became a blur as more alcohol, a visit to a pub, a visit to the alley to puke then return for more drink and then to Achmed’s for a trusty kebab, the world was fabulous and I embraced it with open arms, however I now needed to sleep I wasn’t as bullet proof as I thought! I awoke with a taste in my mouth that I would rather forget, however a quick shower and a brush of the old gnashers and I was feeling (almost) human and off to my favourite eating establishment, Mr Antonopoulos’s café, one full English later and some cracking banter we were up for anything, more of the in crowd arrived and we hit London like a hurricane with an awful lot more drinking and jolly merriment, also there was a rumour that I was seen dancing on the roof of a canopy of a rather plush hotel, well I say dancing more likely just drunken antics, as if you ask anyone who knows me (especially the wife) they will tell you I definitely can’t dance!

Due to the abuse of alcohol there one or two minor injuries, somebody had their foot run over by a taxi (not ours I hasten to add) and somebody may have vomited on the tube, to both of these, I can confirm it wasn’t me, a series of events in a Chinese restaurant, which I won’t mention for legal reasons, oh all right I was slightly drunk and I don’t remember the meal, I only know it was Chinese as I binned my t-shirt the next day because of the food (not vomit) that had stained it. Onwards to more drink, a bar we landed in I soon discovered fellow friends from Gimpsville who were surprised to see me and to see me in the state I was in, at this point I was well into double figures and couldn’t even speak gibberish, a little before ten I was taken home and left to sleep it off in the bath, I caused an awful ruckus when people arrived home to find me not in the flat, the front door wide open (well I didn’t have a key to get back in) and I was nowhere to be seen, it appears I got the munchies and turned up at Achmed’s ordered my usual kebab and sprite, I ate and drank my order and promptly fell asleep, I was so happy when I awoke the next day to find I had magically got home safe and sound.

The next morning was worse than the day before and I really did want to die, again a shower and a quick brush of the gnashers and off to get a full English it took me nearly an hour to finish it, to say I was fragile was an understatement, I was hanging, I had to have several mugs of tea to get through it, but it did revive me and I said Farewell to Mr Antonopoulos for the very last time, he had to be over 300 years old! It turns out he was 55 and retired back to Greece the very next year, to all intents and purposes he could still be alive today, now there’s a quest! More friends arrived and we were now like a small army, a loud boisterous party, but friendly nonetheless. We once again invaded the capitol city, but I was going to be a good boy as I had to be on the 6.30 am train back to Newcastle as I had to turn up to my place of employment, I did not like this working for a living!  Very nearly one last surprise my mate Steve Ridley in amongst the middle of us fresh from the USA where he had recently moved to, we were soon thick as thieves and the no drinking rule was forgotten, time for the gig we all jumped into taxi’s and as usual I did not pay attention, that is until realised that we were getting chucked out at Wembley, WTF! Well I was surprised.

Whitney Houston, do I look like a…………let’s not go there, we all piled in we all drank some and some of the crew even jigged about, can I just say it no it wasn’t me, I’m told we all enjoyed it, who am I to argue I was ahem just a little squiffy! I would have preferred any of the other two gigs but it was free and she was good………. Allegedly! We knew a few bodies on the crew so we were invited back stage we did drink some more and I have only a vague recollection of being put on the train in the morning, it was nearly seven months before I got my back and stuff back, I slept all the way home and got to work with time to spare thankfully I always kept spare clean uniform at work, I then promptly disappeared and did as little as I could, I arrived home just after 11 and the wife was suspicious that I looked as fresh as I did, what on earth could I have possibly got up to? I’m a good boy I am

So, there you go a historical one for a change, but there are one or two more bubbling away so watch the skies you never know what might pop up next, but until then ………Toodles!