A Wet And Soggy Muff!

Careful boys and girls this one is going to get a tad hairy!

OK so I think that I covered work pretty much in the last blog lets just not go there(much) in this one, I was sat waiting for copies of my second book to arrive but they were actually delivered to the neighbour I now know how Charles Lindbergh felt after the kidnapping of his child, thankfully though all my babies were returned, just as I turned up to put my size 7 boot through the neighbours door she met me on the path and I was relieved(mainly because we don't get on that much) , We had a night out planned for the weekend and I didn't want to be distracted, although the work week ended with me heading for the hills and me taking work with me, this was unavoidable with so much to cover but I intended to keep an even balance if I didn't do these little bits this weekend the coming (work) week would soon see me in a loony bin trying as always to fit a pint into a half pint glass, it wasn't lots but just a few bits and pieces to tidy up, the wife would beat me to death with a blunt instrument if I brought too much home(trust me I like my leisure time this is purely a short term arrangement) there is no push from above for me to complete on time, but if I don't it will drag over into the next year and so on and on, anybody who knows me will know that a time specific item is indeed that "time specific" so I will push on for the time being but the storm clouds that had potential to cause havoc but didn't, left a disease to fester in my heart that will not go away so I will put my nose to the grindstone but unless the festering heart is sorted out April 1st will bring a new meaning to "time specific" watch this space for cunning plans and dangerous explosions!

So onto the weekend again a time of fun and frivolity was indeed required and we intended to hook up with SMOR who was doing the Thin Lizzy tour, who we all weren't too bothered about but the support Clutch well lets just say I thought they were indeed quite canny I knew the name but not the music (that has since changed) so we headed to the Prancing Pony as we had many cunning plans for road trips and the such like, we actually left with time to spare and arrived without too much fuss I hadn't charged my mobile (not normally an issue I don't use it much) but the wife's was in the danger zone (because she's never off the bloody thing) so we all had to stay close in case we went M I A, as we got there G was feeding himself with protein for the night ahead watching something called wipe out which sent me into apoplexy when I discovered that the BBC sent the contestants off to Argentina to make this shite (I want a fecking refund) and he was duly called to do the dirty deed to try and evict Cookie from her domicile he had the look of a man heading the riot squad heading in to Toxteth, thankfully Cookie didn't kick off too much and G only had to use the riot shield about 4 times, we headed to South Shields while supplies were drawn out of machines the wife dashed into the local Morrison's too use their facilities I was abused as she headed to the ablutions because I hadn't taken notice of the National break dancing championships on the way down I have to admit I was disappointed nobody went down like they had been hit by a sniper so I doubt the quarter finals beckon for anybody. although there are always qualifiers taking place so I will keep you all appraised hahaha.

We jumped into the Ship and Royal for a cheeky one (and some change for the metro) and started planning we got to our transport just as one pulled in so we had the pick of our seats and we endured a uneventful journey to Newcastle (that means G was distracted and unusually peaceful)we arrived at the Haymarket and headed up the escalators (which are bloody steep) to find the wife hanging on for grim life breathing deeply, we arrived at the City Hall and bumped into SMOR chatting outside we were given a quick tour of the crew bus (purely because he was cold and wanted some warmth) we then had to try and stop the Ladies from wanting to break the bank to buy one for the weekends (we were good we didn't even steal a mug), we headed indoors and saw familiar faces and said hello then headed to our seats (Thanks SMOR great seats yet again) and enjoyed Clutch as I have said before they were great and would thoroughly recommend them to all and sundry, we saw some more faces and I was abused by some peeps from work on a boys night out and to be honest I have seen Lizzy loads of times and I wasn't too bothered but we lasted 30 minutes (the sound was awful) so we cut and run and headed back to South shields with everybody's phone going in and out of phase because of the tunnels but G was now on a roll and had Mud in his head and Showwaddywaddy it wasn't pleasant and to be honest for a second I thought he was going to be bludgeoned to death by a seat ripped out of the metro but then I realised it was just an out of body experience (don't you just hate that when it happens) we arrived and headed to the Woody and were met by several familiar faces who had obviously been there just a wee while, we were introduced to a couple we didn't know and fun and frivolity ensued and yet again we were asked to leave as the staff wanted to go home(honestly do they not know who the hell we are) G had an early start so I did the sensible thing and escorted the ladies back to the Ship and Royal (well I needed the loo) but when I arrived back amongst everybody coats were off and bags were placed and the ladies were dancing about so we stayed a tad longer (sorry G) and soon it was time for some nose bag it was at this point E noticed her Muff (her handbag honest) was wet and dripping (please don't go there) and started to tell us repeatedly (and loudly)that her muff was indeed wet we had to endure her telling us again loudly (like the lady that she is)while we waited for our food telling us what she intended to do to sort her muff out, not really the conversation for a crowded Kebab shop early on a Sunday morning! we headed off to the Hostelry of our choosing(The Prancing Pony) and as we were finishing off our food the muff was attacked with much vigour and seeing as how it was really really late we headed off to our beds to sleep the sleep of intoxicated people.

We were awoke (or some of us were) to the phones ringing from SMOR which because of our befuddled state none of us actually got until later my phone had died by this point so I was blissfully unaware, however when he phoned and was given a  mock berating from the wife he hung up (I wouldn't have rung her hahahaha) but we soon got that mishap sorted, we then made further cunning plans for a road trip to top all previous road trips to which at this point G turned up and started to sort out his tools from his job which didn't go down to well , but again disaster was once more averted and a cunning plan was formulated it just now has to be executed which should be put into action tomorrow. We then headed back to Gimpsville weary and emotional heading back to the trial and tribulations that is the people who wind the wife up (I know how to sort it honest I do but it involves me telling them to feck off permanently) but as I sit typing this I have no intention of letting them grind me down however the wife needs a break so I won't labour the point (KILL EM ALL) for her sake as it stands I start the countdown tomorrow for the future, what for I hear you ask? well you will hear it here first (but just not yet).

My facebook addiction is well on it's way to being broken I have barely gone on and posted anything this week, I have kept a low profile and trust me it will get lower in future I will maintain a presence purely for advertising this blog and all the future books, I'm just not enjoying it at the moment it's nice to chat from time to time but it can be draining at times and it's meant to be fun works not helping but as always cunning plans are abound,and that's it to be honest, this blog contains only about a third of what went down last night but the drink for some reason kills my braincells and the longer I wait to write anything the shorter the blog gets so it might be time for the little black book to return until the one ....Toodles!