The Downward Spiral

This week has been swings and roundabouts and this is actually blog number 4 (lets see if I print this one) everything has been fine in the world ...except me, and for once I could not put my finger on it I just couldn't make headway and to be honest this morning I still can't but I'm not going to sit around and mope, so it must mean that I feel better in my self purely because I'm sat here typing and not howling at the moon!

As usual technology has conspired against me book number two is hot to trot but for some reason (please remember I am a bloody Luddite) I can't get it to upload so that it can be printed, then there's the fact that the photographs I want to use for the front and back cover simply don't want to fit I have to admit it hasn't helped, work has been hyper busy which if I'm honest it's what I prefer, but trying to stay focused and on top of stuff is incredibly hard thankfully the wife and I have only clashed two or three times this week (thank you dear) and she has generally left me alone in my stew which again helps when people keep asking me what's wrong I usually get grumpier (I know even I find it hard to believe) the previous blogs which didn't get published I always delete them so that if they are indeed infectious they won't pollute what follows as I really do try to be a happier person when I'm doing these things (it does help hahahaha) I have also avoided music for most of the week which quite a few people at work have mentioned (am I so predictable....probably) and although outwardly my appearance has been one of total happiness (yeah right) the downward spiral has been one the worst in recent months, thankfully I do have the right equipment to deal with it (friends and family) but trying to kick start myself out of my funk has been so bloody hard and do I know what started it? I have no idea but the chain reaction that goes with it was all there and the baggage that it brings with it was oh so apparent the over eating (on a night time) the lethargy the general lack of interest in anything especially myself I have also been trying to break my facebook addiction well actually that was the easiest thing to do I still check to see if people message me (Broadsword calling Danny boy) but as for actually posting I think I only did it once this week and I have actually hardly bothered with my laptop at all I have sat with my family and done family type things (yes I think they were worried hahaha) I do know the messages of support from people reading this (drivel) has been really welcome so again hopefully the blog is indeed moving in the right direction and I am starting to get more people on my twitter feed (didn't I tell you I'm a media whore darlings) who are being attracted (drawn to the dark side) to the blogs so keep spreading the disease.

So what plans for the future I hear you all scream? well I intend to spend at least part of the day getting the book sorted and off to the publishers (keep everything crossed) and once that is done my wife can do with me as she see's fit although I do believe I have to keep my grumpy face on with the youngest who has all of a sudden developed a personality trait of mine (being grumpy go figure) which doesn't suit her so for maybe only the third time in her 17 years DR Stern will be sat waiting for her to come home, although I will admit not too stern as she usually gets the picture straight away and does something about it (something her father....yes that's me you doofus, can't do) so that painful task won't be too painful.

What has troubled me this week and if anybody does understand this let me know what you think, when I have slept I have no recollection of dreaming at all I do feel rested and I know that have slept but I have no recollection of any dreams whatsoever and that's not like me I have some the stupidest dreams ever which could be part of the problem the last decent dream I had was G refusing to get in the car for a lift home after he discovered the wife had passed her advanced driving test. I honestly think that's why I am usually a happy person when I wake up purely because of one or more dumb-ass dream, just a silly question but I would love to know if somebody has an opinion about it! The other thing bothering me has been my tonsils which it feels like my throat has been gargling glass (no this doesn't normally depress me as it happens quite often) as I get older it happens about the same amount of times but it does affect my speaking voice and the fact I was teaching on Friday didn't help, the time could be drawing near for them to go the distance (they will be better next week and forgotten about...again!) and that's the blog and yes I do feel better for doing it (thanks for asking) I'm sure that the next one will once again be about freaks and knuckledraggers and not me whinging on about oh whoa is me hahahaha until the next time Toodles!