No More
Lies – Yet another cunning stunt.
1st
September.
Yet again I
was up early, actually I was up even earlier than any of the previous mornings!
So, I did what I do best I mooched around the house with some headphones on
gazing into space listening to music and then listened to just a little bit
more music, I felt like running through the house banging a drum, but I needed
the bride of Dracula to be in a good mood and rested as she as always is the
designated driver. By the time I got to The Electric Boys absolutely every
chore (downstairs) had been done, I had even prepped the breakfast, I was like
a coiled spring, well more like a slinky but you get the picture!
I had my breakfast
(two Kit Kats just in case you need to know) and a mug of tea, by this time I was
sat watching the news, well it was on in the background however I’m not so sure
I was actually paying due care and attention to anything but the weather,
finally she who must be obeyed was awake,
while she had her breakfast I busied myself upstairs beds stripped bathroom
polished to within an inch of its life all that was left to do was to put
bleach down the loo’s , she was just about ready.
We had a
couple of bits of last-minute packing, mainly for the hand luggage we then just
had to throw the baggage into the car and were under starters orders, we set
off and decided to travel to Manchester using Google Maps (WTF) talk about the
long way there, the holiday would have been over if we had followed it to the
letter of its instructions, let’s just say it was the scenic route, just a bit!
Even though we took matters into our own hands and it was a pleasant drive
(just not the way we expected) we could have flown to New York in the time that
it took us, we definitely won’t be going home on the same route!
We found
the hotel and then discovered that the car park was built in the 60’s and it
wasn’t designed for modern cars, we got into one slot but would never have
gotten out, you actually would have struggle to get a sheet of paper down
either side, eventually we found a spot nobody else wanted and slung it in it,
took our bags down to reception, thankfully the staff were nice and pleasant, the
hotel had definitely seen better days (down at the heel probably best describes
it). The room was ok and we freshened ourselves up to go and have some tea as we had payed for a three course nosh up,
well guess what, we did eat, just not a lot, starters was soup of the day (tomato)
the main was pork chop and cold veg, and I didn’t fancy any pudding (I’m sweet
enough) but the wife fancied some cheese cake, well a brick more like as it was
still frozen, to say it wasn’t a success would be an understatement, we
retreated to the room to read for a
little and to rest after the loooooooooong journey down.
At some point,
a lot earlier than the wife would normally suggest we decided to hit the hay,
no sooner had our heads hit the pillows, we both wondered if the car was safe,
we both couldn’t settle so after 20 seconds of panic I decided to get dressed
and head down to check, through the warzone that was the ground floor of the
hotel, people who were pissed but needed to be early the next day, I’m so glad
that I came down to check as we had left a window down as I had been directing
the wife into the slot, window fully engaged, which was a drama as I had never
started the car before and wasn’t sure if the car would fly off the car park to
the street below like something out of a fast and furious script, crisis
averted by the expert tutelage of the wife I was soon back in the room, once
again in bed and I was soon fast a sleep dreaming of a holiday that literally
was just around the corner!
Airport –
Yet another cunning stunt.
2nd
September.
Only three
hours sleep I should have warned the world I was fragile and I could get just a
tad grumpy!
Overall for
the hotel, I would give the staff a 7 /10 the food 2/10 and the hotel and
parking 4/10, it did the trick, if we do this again, we need another cunning
plan, we avoided breakfast, purely on the performance of the evening meal, we
were soon outside ( I was wishing I had bought some chocolate) awaiting our
trusty chariot to take us to the airport, the driver was like Eeyore from Winnie
the Pooh that was until we slung a fiver into his hand, it certainly cheered
him up and his thanks was quite effusive.
At the
airport well it soon descended into chaos, the check in was fine but the security
was simply bedlam, Thankfully before we descended into the seven rings of hell
we decided to grab a breakfast and thankfully it was lovely, it wasn’t cheap but
it set me up ready for the flight, then we entered what could only be described
as hell, the staff were fine but the number of foreign passengers who had a lot
of banned items in their luggage and they simply couldn’t understand why they
were being taken off them, erm the food processor looks like a bloody bomb,
food stuffs, a family with a tub of some cream (origin unknown) was simply all
they could fit into the bag, erm that will a hell no then. Honestly, they were
educated people just as mad as a box of frogs and their children were brain dead,
they had to be told everything three times and they got really upset when half
a water buffalo was denied (only kidding) actually I’m not sure that I was, we
finally got through and waited to be called, boarding as usual was a ghastly
nightmare.
We thought our
baggage for the plane was big until we discovered everybody else were bringing
small suitcases on as a carry on (you could have fitted me into one of them) the
whole process was held up by over 30 minutes and we still don’t know why,
people crowding in the tunnel to the plane I was a happy camper once I was in
my seat, there were a large amount of weirdo’s on the plane me and the wife were
the most normal on the plane…..Honest! thankfully the flight went relatively smoothly
the food out was quite nice (for airplane food) the pick of the bunch was a
chicken and rice, even the wife enjoyed it, I had intended to read but I simply
wasn’t in the mood so I sat and watched old classic films including “Casablanca” it was one of the better flights I have
endured.
We landed
at a new airport (at least for us) we usually land at Sanford and then it’s a 30
minute drive to our destination this was a 90 minute drive and boy has
everything just got BIGGER, thankfully the airport was navigated very quickly
the rental car was a little bit of a hitch as it wouldn’t take our credit card
(a frequent occurrence on this trip, more of that later)but once sorted we were
on the road in our Nissan Altima, it was lovely and comfortable and we endured
the 90 minute drive with just a little consternation as it had been 16 years
since wife had drove on the highways of Florida!
We arrived
at the Disney resort of our choice (Movie All Stars ) its (not) cheap and
cheerful the staff were super friendly we bought our tickets for the parks
using the credit card that had been refused (go figure) I didn’t care this was
a holiday to try and lift the wife’s spirits and I didn’t care what it actually
cost ( I could regret that last statement), we had a little smooch about and
then some food at the resorts food court(chicken and chips it was delicious) and
then headed back to our room for an early night (it’s been a very long day)
lets just hope I don’t wake up on English time!
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