Whirlwind.
The wife and I very rarely go on holiday
at the moment purely a financial thing I don’t earn enough to do everything
that we would like to do, bills and the such like keep getting in the way you
know those things like council tax and electricity bills, food you know the
ones we all have them! On top of that being a one wage family and many years of
paying school fees for our children to have the best start possible (the
ungrateful whelps hahaha) and yes we couldn’t afford it but hey ho the money
would have only been spent on pies and something of a similar nature.
The last holiday we had was another
cunning plan a trip to Rhodes where we basically needed a holiday so we stuck
it on a credit card (fools) and went away with everybody’s blessing (not) but
then you learn by your mistakes (hahahaha) or so I’m told, for the last few
years (well as long as The Tee Hee Club has been in existence ) we have had a
number of cunning plans for trips and we always fall at the first hurdle (money
being the said stumbling block) lofty ambitions we have but the actual deed is
always a bridge too far, we have lots of genuine intentions it’s just I
struggle to regenerate my organs after they have been harvested on a daily
basis (and I’m not complaining the wife does but you go with the flow as far as
I’m concerned) and although most of the plans have been pipe dreams one that
has formulated and stuck in me and the wife’s brains has been a trip to Las
Vegas, we nearly had the money sorted to go last year. Then my company was
taken over and the money that we had saved was used to cover a bill that my new
medical insurance wouldn’t (pre existing medical condition the bunch of robbing
bastards) pay for, a scan on my knees which indicated the need to get my
problem resolved as quickly as possible. So the bill was paid and willing
accomplices did their thing (and why shouldn’t they) and I was lost in a sea of
pain 14 weeks of rehab after surgery and a pipe dream that was burned into our
collective brains.
Life carried on and we had a whole load of
shenanigans, which if you have read the previous books and even my blog most of
the time life is good, family matters are the biggest blight the eldest just
wanting her own way all the time and the Kraken well actually that’s just more
of the same, just magnified a billion times (it’s like they are North and South
Korea and feck the world) unfortunately
the world just happens to be the wife and I’m the moon because allegedly I’m
lifeless and basically just a satellite. Now I’m not the heartless person some
people think I am and I do have to admit to feeling either helpless or I feel
as though I’m the hulk! There is no middle ground for me and if it had indeed
been a member of my family attempting to blackmail the wife she would have had
to get behind me in the line telling them to jog on, but this indeed different
and they pull every dirty little trick to play my wife’s heartstrings like
Status Quo playing Big Fat Mama as an encore.
But I do have to take a back seat and bite
my lip (twenty years and counting) some would call it emotional abuse (most of
the world) but the wife stands still amongst the whirlwind of emotions that are
hurled at her and I will admit to being unhappy at the way she is treated and
sometimes she can appear to be so weary what with her family and her health
issues (which I insist are linked but what the hell do I know) and to be honest
the more I saw her getting worn down the more a cunning plan had to be devised.
Me when I’m down I hide in food it used to
be drink with food thrown in as a side order but now it’s mainly food, the wife
well she just gets on with it and sometimes she will snap and take it out on
me, you know the usual stuff 12 hour working day an extra 2 hours for travel
working my butt off without a break through that 12 hour shift and then having
the audacity to fall asleep on the settee ( I still say I just blink for long
periods of time) but most of the time we plod on and are happy with our lot
well the good bits. I had to rearrange our mortgage at the end of the year the
previous term coming to an end I even arranged a new bank loan to save money
(borrow more pay less who could argue hahaha) and with some wheeling and
dealing there was a small sum left and then the cunning plan was back in play!
The intention was to go later in the year,
and basically try and save some more for spending purposes and have a bloody
good time (instead of me doing my usual sitting counting the foreign currency
at every given moment), the plans were discussed and everybody was initially
invited and it seemed like it was a cunning plan about to hatch but then it all
fell silent, people had other ideas, relationships drifted and again it seemed
like we were yet again cast adrift with no captain to steer the boat our
holiday plan floundered and the wife was back in the doldrums.
Then like a spark to a touch paper the
idea was floated late one night and it burned brighter than a thousand suns
this time it wasn’t to be a damp squib, we had focus we had direction and it
actually looked as though this was actually going to happen. The idea was
trimmed back to just four of us and if you read the blogs for Glasgow and
Manchester for our Motley Crue road trip this was indeed going to fun with a
capital F. We didn’t plunge straight in although we had a rough idea (ok so we
sat there and nodded) meticulous strategic planning had to swing into action it
was as if we were planning a small invasion of the United States of Gimpsville!
Life though had to continue I still had to continue my punishing schedule of
inspections at my place of work, but I had a dream one that didn’t involve
selling my soul at the company store each and every day. The wife actually got
some life back into her face and although there was some fancy foot work ahead
it was worth the risk and the abuse to do what we intend to do. Actually it’s
never worth any of the abuse but until the wife tells me I can go atomic on
their sorry arses I will yet again stand in the background and bite my lip!
Then all a sudden like a fumbled sexual
teenage experience it was sorted the holiday booked something to look forward
to the only thing that would stop it now would probably be a death ( on the
wife’s behalf! me sod that I’m still
going even if it’s me who has died) and I have to admit I might look lonely
sitting in the airport with my Netto bag but hey life isn’t a rehearsal the man
has been paid me and Ma Clampett are Vegas bound!
At times we have looked at each other and
thought “hell’s bells it’s on” and at the time of typing this everybody and his
nephew is off to see Rammstein blowing the living daylights out of Newcastle I
have (yes I know I’m cheap) hatched another cunning plan, my writing has become
a tad stale of late and virtually everything I’m writing I haven’t been at all
happy with so here’s the deal! I had intend to blog about the trip anyway, take
my little black book with me make notes and write my little cotton socks off,
and hopefully I can come up with enough material (come on G is going what could
go wrong ooops) for a whole new book and if you are indeed reading these words
then this indeed either a new book totally dedicated to the mother of all road
trips (how the hell do we top this fecker!) or it’s a few chapters in one of
the multitude that I seem to permanently have on the boil, I don’t know read on
and see what happens I can but try and if I’m honest I have a rejuvenated sense
of wanting to write something and by golly nothing is going to stop me (apart
from the wife abusing me again or I do indeed blink again!) unless I’m struck
by apathy which would hopefully bounce right off my shield of hopefulness (can
you tell how excited I’m getting already).
So let’s (as always) go with the flow
let’s see where the currents take us and hopefully you will enjoy where the
river transport takes us!
There's the start of the book properly, so many views and good comments already, thank you all so much until tomorrow and the next chapter Toodles!
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