Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda!

Shoulda , Coulda, Woulda!

So with the big plan finally in motion we then had various plans of action to sort and place gently in the stream before us, I will admit to being like a school kid on Christmas eve waiting for a fat man in a red suit to appear and I have tried (quite successfully I feel) to be on my best behaviour and (hopefully) have only asked what appears to be pertinent questions about our actual destination, I have to admit if we had been going to Skegness (well maybe’s not on reflection) I would be just as happy just me and the wife no kids (although I do feel guilty that the youngest is stuck with the Kraken) and some warmth on our faces.

The wife went into shopping mode it seems I can’t take my underwear into the US of A it seems that they have a statute of limitations on how old underwear is (not quite a teenager I think....actually I don’t know) so it was shopping mode for her (which makes her happy...most of the time) and I didn’t complain (much) well it really does makes her happy and I don’t normally get clothes bought for me, it appears that I’m going as a style consultant for that well know clothing firm based in Las Vegas WELD!

Work just droned on as always with brief interludes of happiness and drinkie poo’s with certain individuals (family wise) trying to rain on the parade (it’s ok I brought my Pac a Mac!) and although the wife has had a few dodgy moments it’s like she has been given a new lease of life (so that’s a good thing) E even had T shirts made for us for the trip with tour dates on the back of them ( I really was like a kid on that special day) and a bag tag.

The t-shirts have three skulls (and hopefully the cover of the book should be said t-shirt) which are like the see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, we even managed to squeeze in a birthday bash for Mr. C and much drink was consumed with only a little chat and pornographic pictures of naked VW’s but we behaved and I blogged about it so I won’t bore you again with it but the holiday is drawing ever so quickly towards us and I know it will be here and gone so fast like my hairline but I don’t care I have the feel good factor!

That is until the wife starts stressing while babysitting and taking crap off the eldest, and the Kraken has come down with Wugga Bugga disease, a strange ailment that only rears its head when the wife might actually might be having that strange thing called fun! We went and did a little more shopping and I got some new underwear and socks and tried various other items and watched amused while the wife tried to work out some semblance of a schedule to sort our cases (which are out of the loft and are sat at the top of the stairs) we really just need to fill the bags and weigh them (I even brought my scales from work to weigh them) I just need time to throw some medication into the wife’s throat to bring her down to warp factor five.

The only item that really does need to be sorted is in actual fact is our spending money into that lovely green cotton currency called Dollars, G always carries ten dollar (hey sailor) he says he never knows when he might get called away on diplomatic business. We hope to do the deed at the weekend (we will have to as there isn’t a spare moment in our days Monday or Tuesday and we go Wednesday (way hey) sorry a moment of joy I have to be careful apparently it’s highly addictive and I’m not sure I could deal with happiness on a regular basis! (Go on I’ll have to give it a try)

Today was a challenge at work but knowing that I’m going on my holidays is helping immensely, although I was about to go on a killing spree when somebody else went off on one and because they did it saved me big style as one of our senior managers went totally atomic (and to be honest I didn’t really blame him) but I was so blinkered and I hadn’t seen the warning signs thankfully crisis averted, I got down to the business of my busiest day of the year with eight inspections a prelude to next Monday when I have twelve to  do, I will be the person sleeping on the train on the way to Manchester.

My intention to be witty and urbane as I write a classic (it’s ok I have been drinking) means that I really should be carrying my little black book everywhere as I saw so my possibilities today just so much potential but just not enough time to write it all down, so many freaks and just not enough ink and paper to be had at the right moment.

One good thing that has happened is that I now have three assistants to help me make sure all the naughty boys and girls are being compliant I can see lots of interesting times ahead and even with the legal obligations I foresee rich pickings ahead, all three have identified the biggest dick on site correctly so it’s not just me who hates him (what do you mean you all thought it was me the cheek of it!) ah deep joy!

So although I have stated my intention of running silent running deep I do indeed intend to try and do a chapter a day until the end of the holiday and beyond ( or at least try and sketch a broad outline) so that I can actually get the book printed in top secret fashion as I’m not telling anybody about this (not even the wife) particular project until it lands on my doorstep hahahaha I feel like an obscure mad European professor screaming at the top of my lungs “IT’S ALIVE” and with the process well and truly started we can only just crack on and hope that we do indeed hit a rich vein of happiness and humour and plenty for me to write about in an interesting way! People are under the impression that I am indeed doing research for the occasional blog oh if they only knew I would probably be in so much trouble right now!

The only different thing that happened at work today that caused me to chuckle was somebody from the arena where a well known pyrotechnic Teutonic marching band were playing tonight one of the crew came on a shopping trip firstly to go to Timpson’s as the singers boots had had a buckle malfunction , but then he had been tasked to get three knuckle dusters (erm pardon)which are a banned object, but the shop I was in had some as belt buckles which were fashioned in the shape of Knuckle dusters and with some engineering they would indeed be what the band required they also wanted eight leather belts no more than 4 centimetres wide so they could be cut up, I thought he was going to ask for a gimp mask after that little lot but thankfully he didn’t , I could have knocked him out for the roll of twenties in his hand mind you but me being a good boy I decided against it.

At this moment I have to stop as I have actually done the first two chapters in one sitting and if I don’t stop now I will try and second guess myself and start deleting stuff and I really don’t have the time to do that I can edit after the main event and not before, so I bid you goodnight and shall be off to my bed to wait for Santa to pop down the chimney with dreams of Vegas baby.....hell yeah!