Can U Deliver

Traditionally I didn’t work a Monday, musically I worked Tuesday to Sunday, but Monday you had to be in the office to put your expenses in, which you got paid the following Monday, sometimes you lived off these expenses especially if there was no work due, me I wasn’t proud I would prostitute myself to any part of the business that paid, I occasionally humped and dumped at various venues for a daily per diam, I worked for various record companies temping in the pool doing all the work the regular Joes felt that they were far too important to do, I preferred to keep busy as the devil was in the details, if I wasn’t working I would be drinking, if I was drinking and everybody else was working that would be me stood in a boozer with deep dark thoughts running through my brains(not a good place) that’s why I usually worked, worked,  worked and if I could I would work some more.

If you didn’t get your expenses in on time you had to wait a fortnight, and unless you had some savings well that really did impact on your lifestyle, musically I got a task sheet and received my well-earned dues every 12 weeks, if you were lucky you were out of the office by eleven, I was always an early riser so I was usually sat on the door step waiting for the office staff to arrive, they all thought I was a lovely well-mannered young man, (WTF) no I just knew if I treated them with respect they usually did the same for me, it was also a sure fire way of getting any additional work, it’s amazing what a cheap bunch of flowers will do to cheer someone’s Monday morning up, Sunday was usually a day when we would (if not working) be on the lash from the word go, a spot of lunch and then more drink I always disappeared around 5 o’clock so I could get some beauty sleep.

Up first and in the shower, if you are sharing with up to 8 blokes trust me you don’t want to be number 8 in that queue, down to the launderette to pick up your weekly service wash, a quick full English at the café, back to the flat to put on your clean attire then on the 8.10 into central London, no traffic you could be there by half past, with traffic you would be there at about ten to, still before the ladies arrived, expenses in, tax book filled in, royalty book signed and then the job cards, again because I was in first I used to (and everybody knew I did it, I made no secret of it, you snooze you lose!) check all of the job cards, I didn’t drive so if there were any jobs too far out, I would swap them, even if they were a better paying job (one of the reasons nobody complained because they usually got more money for it) I would take the jobs I wanted, there were some people I hated working for, they were crap, just horrible people who thought they owned you! poor wages which were never paid on time, jobs sorted for the week I would put my requests in (any gig for the forthcoming week always had a guest list and again you guessed it first come first served, or a request for a promo copy of a forth coming release)then expenses in hand I head for the open road and the local record store to see what I wanted to buy (or what would end up on my wish list for the following week for a promo …..cough splutter) a spot of lunch usually with a friend or two usually John Case and Steve Ridley, then we would decide on the rest of the week, we would check to see what was booked (they were in constant demand) and we would work around our schedules as we wrote together whenever we could, then to do any chores I had to do, pay bills, pay money into one of my many (cough) bank accounts, then possibly early evening meet up with everybody for drinks and an evening meal on expenses and then onto a band, it didn’t matter who, a good band is a good band you may not like the band or the music but they were fellow family learning their trade, the same as you and I always learned something good or bad, if you don’t learn something your brain dies, if your brain you become stunted and then you become a horrible person, I don’t like horrible people.

Monday night was never a late night you were usually fed and watered by midnight and tucked in hot to trot for the next day, Tuesdays were usually the days when you always struggled for work so we might play football, squash or something else to try and keep our bodies in shape, Tuesdays was when I usually got all my many notebooks into order, delete the stuff already used, I wanted no point of reference, there’s nothing worse than writing the same song with someone else days down the line! (yes I have done that a couple of times) Again out for drinks and food and hopefully another band (in 1984 I saw 310 gigs that was a great year) up ready for the following day, I had a taxi account so I would simply pour myself into the taxi and motor off to work, if it was a writing day, it would be to meet the person you were going to be writing with, many times I never met them before that day and I never met them again (go figure) by this time I would do stuff for cash and no credit so I wasn’t invested in it, I did my job professionally, I simply wasn’t going to wrestle on the floor with somebody over some English syntax! And yes I have done that in the past, words could mean the world (or a royalty lol) sometimes it was in a flat or a studio, in a publisher’s office, I can say I have written in Tony Visconti’s house (admittedly he was on holiday in Italy at the time) and so many other distinguished venues, but to me it was just another working day.

Wednesday was usually the only singular day, if you were going to get a single day task then it would be then, the world woke up on Thursday and then marched relentlessly on, now so far it sounds like a glorious fun filled time of my life, but I’m not telling you about the times it was me against the band (4 or 5 guys who hate you because the record company think you can sprinkle fairy dust on their dog shit) the people who were obnoxious, the older people who hated me because I got so much work and did it better than them, I always had a work ethic, be the first there and leave last, work always came first (I’m from up north did you not know) I could also be a major pain, and when they found out you couldn’t play an instrument, well that went down really well. The people who didn’t want to pay (that was most of them) the music business is awash with many but many people don’t wish to part with what is rightfully yours! Shower of shit the lot of them.

Then there was the crap food, the number of times I wrote lyrics sat on the pot simply because of eating suspect food, trying to get a taxi at silly o clock in the morning, explaining to random policemen what I was doing walking the streets in the pouring rain at three in the morning, the really long unsociable hours, it wasn’t unusual to work four days straight, with no sleep, little food, but plenty of cans to get you through. Sometimes we were all like the walking dead, I’m so glad that there weren’t mobile phones, because I shudder at the thought of some of those photo’s! Some friendships male and female frayed for days or even weeks at a time, then we would realise how dumb we were being and make up in a drunken haze at some after-hours pub. If you had to go and work in another part of the country, you had to get hotel expenses receipts (my fave trick was to turn up and see the night porter and get a written chit, give him a tenner and then claim £40 -50 back, trust me they were never the best hotels I was always glad to be staying at the studio) again you got per diams for food usually a tenner which you saved and scrounged food at the studio or if you had a way of stealing food from the vending machines, honest I didn’t have a master key! It’s not a job (for the faint hearted) that you could do for long, I did it for nearly four years and if I’m honest I was a wreck and glad of the rest when my career came to a screeching halt in early 1986 (yes all those years ago).

I would occasionally head home to visit family and friends, many who didn’t have a clue when I wasn’t around I was working or what I was working at, they just thought I was pulling a moody lol! Bennett my publisher loved me and my work ethic, he always said I was his pension fund (more of that in another blog because it did end in tears for all concerned) he would always try and keep me sweet, his wife said I was the son he never had, I’m not sure that was a good thing or a bad thing, thankfully we had a good working relationship, he had got into Publishing while doing national service in the army (I have no idea how or why) but he knew my tale of woe, I honestly thought he had only given me the contract out of pity, once I had proved my worth on some menial tasks, he soon started giving me better work to which I simply excelled at, I really was his pension, by the time our working relationship had ended I was producing a little under of 60% of his company’s profits. He always asked me when I picked up my work like some kind of wrestling promotor “Can you Deliver?” to which I always replied “fuck no” which always got a chuckle, sometimes a nervous chuckle, but he knew I would always try my best, even if I was working with knob jockeys! What I liked about working London at the time was the anonymity, nobody knew me, I had a good working relationship with most people, but that’s all it was…………Work!

It was a good time usually surrounded by good people listening or playing good music, I remember The Riddle (Steve Ridley’s band) playing the marquee and Steve falling off the stage as he was so happy to see me, I believe the paying audience was 14 that night with about 40 friends and family! There was obviously The Dawn Patrol (see blog of the same name) and we probably burned a few too many bridges, but you only get one life and it’s not a rehearsal, if you didn’t get a block of days for work you had to turn up to the office, like a glorified cattle market, everybody was there early on those days, if I didn’t get picked (and there were some days I didn’t, allegedly I rubbed some people up the wrong way…..me with my reputation! I ask you as if! the guy who ran phonograms office hated me for some reason so I never got work there) I would hang around hoping something might come in late, I needed a minimum of two days’ work to pay my way the rest I could sort of wrangle!

The back end of the week and no work would simply have meant my service wash was put in early, it still cost me between £4-7, the little old lady who didn’t speak much English (yeah right) never had any favourites she, would say hello give you your ticket then say goodbye, if not working a leisurely lunch and then out on the lash, it meant it was going to get messy, I only ever fell asleep on the Tube once and that’s because we were going to a party in Seven Sisters Road and I was pissed and I didn’t know where we going, the flat belonged to  a member of Little Angels and the place was later immortalised in a song by Dan Reed, I doubt it was the night I was meant to be there, however we will never know as I awoke in some fucking train depot at 5 in the morning, that was a lost weekend, because as soon as I had found a greasy spoon to have breakfast I soon discovered an out of hours rock bar still going strong and then onwards until dawn, one of too many weekends like that, I really did burn the candle at both ends and then I would take a flame thrower to  the middle …………..go figure!

So there you have a historical blog of a kind, one that I have been toying with for months, the original a little over 7000 words, this comes in at around 2500, this one is nowhere near so dark and the rest will be used albeit in a split up kind of way, some will be improved and some (just a little) will be disposed of, sometimes even the cocks deserve some level of secrecy, let’s see how this one does, let’s see where the numbers take us, the old blogs are still available here online for you to enjoy, however the books although are still promoted on Blurb.com they are now deleted, I have a couple of copies which I will gladly sign send direct to you, however I only have a couple of the title left the most popular “restrooms of the strip” is long gone, I may serialise it in November, again not the full book but enough of it to give you all a taste, let me have your thoughts on it and we will have a bit of fun, so that’s the blog thanks for all of the kind words enjoy, and keep spreading the disease, keep watching the skies and until the next one comes along ………………………….Toodles!