Tax Man

So if you have read the previous blog, you will know I was on the dole and needing to be earning some money, as I had just bought a house, paid off the debts of my first wife and had sod all left of my savings, I used to build up a nest egg and then blow it, and this time life had kicked me right in the nuts, the timing was perfect for life to teach me an important life lesson, did I learn? did I hell, I did what I always do I blundered on into the night.

I had been working at my new (menial) job for nearly a year and it paid the bills! I wasn't bothered as I honestly thought I was going to go back to doing music at some point in the near distance, so I was polite and did the job, as I always did, to the best of my abilities and I took a sickie here or there because it was just that a job low paid and crap but it kept my head above water so there were no complaints, then out of the blue I was offered another (menial) job better money and actually doing something constructive during the time I was actually at work.

I had been at my new job about 4 months when everything went pear shaped my wife whose debt I had so wonderfully cleared decided she had had enough being a regulars Joe's wife, so we split, cue a little drama and we moved on, I was gutted as much as the next person, but we both got on with it, and then about six weeks later I got a random letter from the tax man saying that they would like to go over my books (for music) not a worry I had been audited before and they had been happy, they asked me to turn up with my accountant (uh oh) so I arranged it with him and we quibbled about the fee but he was there bright and early, we were made to wait about ten minutes but they were nice and offered us a cup of tea while we waited, we declined the generous offer and kept on making plots of mass destruction and kept wondering why now all of a Sudden?

We went in and sat in the plastic seats provided and then they kicked off big style, we believe that you haven't paid enough tax, where were you working on these dates and what pay did you receive for the work?, rapid quick fire no let up the questions kept coming they left us alone while we conferred for a few minutes, marched back into the room called me a liar and my accountant worse they then said that they wanted £17,588.22  this was the money I owed plus interest, I had three years to pay it back and if I wanted to contest it they would gladly take me to court and see me in jail (gulp I'm too pretty for prison) we said that we would get back to them, we did and we agreed an easy payment settlement, I just now had to figure where the hell I was going to get the money from?

I worked every hour I could I did second and third jobs (cash in hand of course) and then I did the thing I said I would never I sold my copyrights, finally getting the tax man off my back in the three years they had said I had, phew you think! actually no I did alright out of selling my songs but one of the ones I co wrote and sold for £300 went to chart everywhere except the UK (thank fuck) if I had kept it I could of retired in 1989 (ah fuck pig), they never did ask me where I got the money from...go figure! how was I captured (do you notice I never denied doing what I was accused of) I believe my ex father in law who hated my guts found my books after I moved out and sent them to the taxman! ah well you live and learn ( I say that now but that's not how I felt at the time) it was just another nail in my musical coffin I stuck to getting paid weakly (no trust me the spelling is correct)I never had to chase people for money, it was a done deal and the taxman chased me for another ten years, why I hear you ask? well because he could.

Life didn't end I met my present wife and the third world debt that comes with becoming a family etc etc and so ends the second part of my musical malady and hopefully the third part will see me throw my ring (careful G) into mount doom or not as the case maybe so watch the skies and get used to me not being the misery I used to be but until then .....Toodles!