Today has been a good day it wasn't anything brilliant to start with just another day on the plague carrier , but I received a message from a friend out of the blue who was genuinely concerned about me and my mental health, I will admit to being happy that I hadn't been playing bus seat roulette, so I was sat right at the front and when I read it not only did it make me happy, I actually cried not boo hoo tears, but my eyes were moist (oo er missus) it doesn't take much, but I was a happy camper when I got to work, not exactly Julie Andrews but not Genghis khan either ( I may have got those two mixed up) isn't it surprising how such a small token of friendship can turn that frown upside down!
I know I must come across as a miserable git (ooops sorry the wife's description) but in reality I'm not, I,m usually a happy go with the flow type of person (hang on while all of the people who do know me roll around the floor laughing catch their breath) I really don't want much, and as a rule I'm generally happy with my lot. Now if I was to use a word to describe myself I would use melancholy it's something that I think suits me in general, mind you I was described as a fun loving, passionate, go to guy by my boss this morning (haven't got a clue if he meant me but he was pointing in my general direction and he was selling my place of work so why the hell use me as a symbol of hope ....oh dear) so I suppose what other people see, I don't and I get that I really do, now sometimes I have dark moods and for a long time they have stayed away from me, but for some reason they have reared their ugly heads, why I have no idea. this is why I have asked for professional help, I pay my taxes so I feel no shame in asking for a helping hand. having said that reading through the paperwork I foresee trouble ahead, which if pushed I will just walk away and say fuck it, but lets not pour petrol on the bridge in advance of setting fire to it (my usual get out of jail free card).
I'm aware that I'm not dying of some incurable disease (actually I am it's called life) and to be honest if I'm coming across as a whinging Pom (Alright Skeet) it's not my intention but after carrying this issue around for over thirty years, I want it put to bed, gone, sorted, whatever phrase suits it best I want to lead a normal life (hang on I have that nagging wife kids debt job etc etc) without carrying all of the excess baggage! some of it yes ,I have no issue there, but not for it to play like a stuck record over and over again. so once more from the heart of my bottom (nope I'm sure that right....erm) I cannot say thank you enough for all the gestures of kindness that I have received, although the one that I received this morning has struck the biggest chord (ha I made a funny sort of) although I'm not sure of the nude manly wrestling cough splutter!
I'm a better man today than I was yesterday, I know I'm a man of many colours we all, are if we were all the same we would be a boring planet would we not, what happens tomorrow is not at my beck and call! I can only play with the cards I'm dealt with at the time, but I intend to live my life to the best of my ability and I can only do that thanks to my family and friends, I thank you all especially those who hear my voice, it's nice to know that there is indeed a light out there in the darkness for lost souls like myself again I thank you all until the next time .....Toodles!
Nils the name game is still in play and you haven't got any of the last twenty or so, if you don't get this one well you aren't the fan you claim to be hahahahahaha
No comments:
Post a Comment