Well sometimes you have to mix it up a tad so the song title is from a film soundtrack and like this blog some will be good some will be bad and some will be down right ugly so buckle up boys and girls it is going to be a bumpy ride!
Let's get the bad out of the way the little doggie is in a poorly way and it is affecting most in the household, which trickles down to other things, it's not good but all we can do is point the boat in the right direction and hope for the best, I have a fancy it's going to be a shit load worse before it gets any better, but that's not why you are here so lets crack on and get to some of the good and as always to the ugly!
As always we were on a schedule and for once we actually made it to sunny South Shields bang on time, yes I know I was suprised myself on the way down I had to insist that the bad vibes were stored in the boot, as we had waited an age for this night out and I wanted everybody on the happy train! we set off while the wife tried to something with technology (and it didn't work) but we managed to get to our mode of transport without any major incident (OK so G needed to pee and wouldn't use a tree but we managed to resolve that issue) we paid our pennies to get onboard (just as well as the revenue bods got on board and checked our tickets like naughty children that we are) darkness fell in the time it took to get from A to B, and we were aware that winter was peaking over the brow of the hill, we jumped into the Castle Mile and met with Lady J and had a quickie (oooer) in there, it made the Percy look like a Celebrity hangout, there were more pigs in there than they have at the meat counter in Asda! And they all looked if they had gone through the red cross bins for the clothes they didn't want, where were the fashion police when you need them? we came we saw we took the piss before heading to the venue to find out what time the band were on stage.
Time sorted we headed to The Star (which was rammed) so we remembered Rafferty's around the corner and we were soon absconced with beers and E wanting to break some young boy in the corner, just wrong so wrong hahaha, Marty turned up with others and the conversation took a worrying turn about a boat some bands and a holiday, I could see the look in the wife's eyes turning cloudy thankfully none of my organs have grown back from our Vegas Jaunt, as much as we would love to it's a firm no all the way no no no (OK watch this space....NO) drinks drunk and young boys left unmolested we headed to the venue to find that we were upstairs in the small room (damn and blast my knees have taken a beating this week) and when we got up there the room was packed, this wasn't looking good, however we managed to get our usual spot just off from the bar and settled to watch the band moving our feet every ten seconds so not to get pulled into the mire that they call a carpet! (and we all know this isn't the page for reviews.mmmmm I might do a blog page for gigs now there's an idea!) But the band played an hour of good old fashioned hook laden classic rock with a good looking singer and a guitar player (called Pepe!) who had studied the entire book of Edward Van Halen poses, trust me you do not have to play every solo with the guitar in the air and smiling like a retard! there were more males in the crowd than I thought would be, and the polite young man who pushed past us was actually the bass player (what a nice chap) the girls all swooned when (Ollie that's the singer girls as most of you didn't know didn't care and actually how many of you actually knew what the song titles were?)the singer took off his top twice although I do believe others were lusting after the drummer in a pirate and whench kind of thing and no it wasn't G! The hour was over very quickly and again I had to descend far too many stairs, we all collected together found Mr Curry and finally headed into the Star for a well deserved drink (woo hoo) The wife had to enquire on the health of the Kraken (because of the little doggie) and there were tears, Lady J came to the rescue as we headed off to Lick Your Hoop!
Once there after a forced march by Mr Curry I realised I wasn't going to be able to get up the stairs, so drinks were purchased and we let the madness begin hahahaha, G up this point had been very restrained (maybe the medication took longer to wear off tonight) more peeps turned up, many who I didn't know, but I still joined in and the crack was at times fierce, a ladies age was a competition we would normally not bring into question turned out to be 61 the usual response from everybody was F*** NO! hahahaha although I didn't get to speak to the lady directly we are lead to believe G spent the rest of the evening asking "how old are you really?" the evening took a weird twist at some point with the wife shouting at another personage "come over here if you think you're hard enough" really I have to take her everywhere twice the second time usually to apologise. At some point a well known Gambler turned up because he thought we had been to the Mini Mayfair and showed us his stamp for getting back in, which then set off the master forgers amongst us to try and replicate the design like some demented vision on programme.
In the end we went we paid our money and then sat back and watched all of the freaks in attendance and I will admit to sitting watching sad old men head banging with no hair, those that had it, had too much so could not do their full moves, did I dance did I hell I sat and then worked out how to do notes on my phone so that I would have some form of memory of all the things that I knew I would forget most of the time anyway, E as always went all suspicious on me ( I have no idea why hahaha). My main problem with the Mini Mayfair was the fact 99% of the songs played we had just listened to in LYH and there was an abundance of annoying people I had to deploy the thousand yard stare a couple of times to people who were being mega annoying! also the Ladies kept insisting on licking their phones for some reason and whenever the name Ollie was mentioned somebody (whose name begins with an E) kept going Bouncy Bouncy Bouncy, oh dear a certain welder with the body of a racing snake could be in trouble (well he was but not in the way we thought) as I continued to take notes some of the blog came straight off the assembly line fully formed and others I just knew would need a little polishing.
At this rate though I was going to end up with Carpel Tunnel Syndrome with all the writing I was doing on my phone (oops) I very nearly missed watching ( I wish I had thought of whipping out the camera) Skinny Dave drinking bottled water (WTF) I had to drown my eyes in Jack as I wasn't certain as to what I had seen. the night drew to a close and some of us (you just know this is going to get ugly) headed for the exit, G didn't he had been at the petrol (his wife's words not mine and if anybody should know it really ought to be her) it took some deft mastering to get him outside (oh and some loud shouting) we tried to get a taxi for five but were foiled at every turn, we finally managed to flag a cab down but had lost our resident gambler so piled in and headed for the harbour of home! at this point G scrambled in to the front seat and then our problems really started because you could see that that the driver was wishing he had jumped out at the Tyne bridge and dropped and rolled as he had to endure about twenty five minutes of G in full drivel mode which to me and the wife as always is hilarious because he means no harm, but if you don't know him lets just say its like being in a Salvador Dali Painting .....slightly surreal! we arrived at the Hotel Jagermeister (or the Prancing Pony if we wish to offend our hostess) we set off for bed but I was disturbed to find a wet suit hanging in our room if I had discoverd a gimp mask on the pillow I would have been sleeping under the bloody van!
As I drfited off to sleep I did hear G being told off(yet again) by the lady of the house and her pussy being spoken to in a stern voice oh the joys of good friends and strong alcohol, the night as I knew even with the tribulations as always was a resounding sucsess a few teething problems along the way and the wife in a "lets Kill em all" kind of mood was just what the doctor ordered, and a certain melancholy sort of crept over us as we drove home knowing that it could be a while (depending on our cunning plans) before we are able to do what we did this weekend, I do know that I had a tremendous time with all the people I connected with over this weekend (some new friends some old friends)and just wish it could continue on a regular basis because it really does stop me being a misreable git! the week ahead is filled with toil and trouble and I fear for the wifes sanity hopefully I will be there to pick up some of the slack in a troublsome time for her.
A great weekend with only a few hiccups it doesn't take too much to cheer me up but lets flow with the go and I know two biggies in two days is a drain on that muscle I call a brain. I will do a smaller version in the midweek (I do have some thoughts but we shall see) I think I need to find a good looking female so that I can lick my phone like the ladies do (thats sounds just wrong ) until the next time watch the skies.....incoming Toodles!
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