Short and sweet shall be the order of the day, as I prepare to enjoy the last rays of the sun as it appears there has been a weekend that has whizzed past at breakneck speed and I didn't even notice. Ok so a long day yesterday encouraged me to blink (just a tad, second night in a row) and be herded up the stairs at the ridiculous time of ....actually I have no idea, all I know is I went straight back to sleep.
Today was just another blur of activity and here I am, I'm not overly fond of missing the company of the Tee Hee Club but needs must, it just means I get to spend longer plotting and then for us to have a great night out with great peeps (tee hee).
This has been a week of plotting and consolidating some plans some issues, oh and a brief word with farcebook as I discovered someone taking my name and some of my pictures in vain claiming to be me (the cheeky bastards! you would have least thought that they would have found someone a tad more photogenic, I definitely have the face for radio). thankfully Farcebook resolved the issue in less than four hours. so you can all rest easy in your beds there is actually only one of me sleep tight with that thought (shudder). The plotting is black in nature hopefully with light creeping in, people have been trying to wheedle it out of me with little success, another first hahahahaha, go with the flow I thought some of you will enjoy the ride when all is revealed! however if you were all detectives you should all know by now as I have broadcast what the deed is!
The week has been work and reading and music and more work (no surprise there then) and a short break is required before normal service is resumed, in life not in the blogging stakes so tonight I shall lie around like a loppy dog and order my servants around (that's going to comer back and bite me in the ass but hey ho life is short) actually the house is empty and I can do whatever I want (blogging) but there is an unbelievable pull to the fridge which is full of bloody cupcakes waiting for me to.....
Get thee behind me Satan hahahahaha me myself I is in a good frame of mind (at the moment) blog numbers are up and there are one or two new readers, you can tell because the older blogs get dragged into the ratings, hey its all good if you are new here hello! enjoy the sunshine because some times the sun doesn't shine for long periods of time. all the best to all of the readers old and new and hopefully all my friends are ok, anyway back to the plotting and stuff hope you enjoyed the short version (the one I intend to print was way to libellous to publish) until next time ....Toodles!
Sunday, 28 July 2013
Saturday, 20 July 2013
Future Tense
The week started with a glorious bang the wife and me reconnecting in a positive way, no eldest in the house with the hurricane with her, we mellowed and did some stuff when we felt like it because we could! we did finances which is never good but we discovered a little wriggle room and were soon planning a trip to visit The Tee Hee Club, there was a free gig in bents park so we high tailed it out of Gimpsville to see The Honeyz and Liberty X (beggars cant be choosers) and we hooked up in the sun with all the good peeps and fed our souls, that stuff that we needed which some of you seem to call happiness, just as well really as the rest of the week was going to turn sour!
Monday I was duty dog all by myself and I wasn't a happy camper not that it unduly bothers me but my partner in crime left it too late to get cover so I was stuck and if I'm honest I just cracked on, but a grudge is for life not just for Christmas,no drama through the shift but home time was a problem, bus at 9.00 which I knew I wouldn't make, but there was another at 9.30 err no there wasn't and I had to wait nearly 90 minutes to get on a packed bus in which I nearly had to stand (fuck off) I wasn't a gentleman I grabbed a seat and tried to ignore all the arseholes which wasn't very easy, I endured a few harsh words with the wifey who wanted to pick me up but I had spent money on a return ticket I wanted my pond of flesh. the next day I raised a stink and boy did it feel good.
Still no eldest or hurricane it felt like a calm before the storm and I soldiered on at work running through treacle which seems to be norm at the moment I don't mind because it's usually the only joy in my life at the moment, I tried to continue with my cunning plan but was stopped dead in my tracks, but that's no biggie life marches on. The eldest returned on Thursday to find the wife poorly and wiped out she hadn't made it to the Kraken's and thought that it was OK after talking to her, wrong the Kraken flared up to her full height (of madness and lunacy) and yesterday was a nightmare and then not and then returned to full flame as a lunatic, the wife getting it full bore which I don't like and I know I could resolve with one sentence,but the wife loves the evil bat so I can't because it would come back to haunt me, but an abusive relationship is an abusive relationship she wouldn't take 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% of the crap of me that she gives you so soak it up and get on with it I know this sounds harsh but if she does die I know who will gladly do a jig when it happens (and no she ain't worth doing prison time for) but then again pure evil never dies it just bleeds into others!
what does the weekend bring tons of work as I had to bring a load home some chores which in itself I don't mind to break up the monotony of work, hahahaha hamster on a bloody wheel and so there's the weekly blog, I've been down but not out, I can still pick myself up off the canvas, but the body shots are really starting to be annoying I don't want a lot, just a little happiness and if the rest don't,well it might be time to saddle up and go walkabout (ah the good old days) but there will be no retreat no surrender, I feel stronger than I have for a long while and I know I'm nowhere near perfect but really I am starting to get sick of the same old shit, so here's to a brighter future and who knows there could just be a little happiness in there somewhere, so until then .....Toodles!
Monday I was duty dog all by myself and I wasn't a happy camper not that it unduly bothers me but my partner in crime left it too late to get cover so I was stuck and if I'm honest I just cracked on, but a grudge is for life not just for Christmas,no drama through the shift but home time was a problem, bus at 9.00 which I knew I wouldn't make, but there was another at 9.30 err no there wasn't and I had to wait nearly 90 minutes to get on a packed bus in which I nearly had to stand (fuck off) I wasn't a gentleman I grabbed a seat and tried to ignore all the arseholes which wasn't very easy, I endured a few harsh words with the wifey who wanted to pick me up but I had spent money on a return ticket I wanted my pond of flesh. the next day I raised a stink and boy did it feel good.
Still no eldest or hurricane it felt like a calm before the storm and I soldiered on at work running through treacle which seems to be norm at the moment I don't mind because it's usually the only joy in my life at the moment, I tried to continue with my cunning plan but was stopped dead in my tracks, but that's no biggie life marches on. The eldest returned on Thursday to find the wife poorly and wiped out she hadn't made it to the Kraken's and thought that it was OK after talking to her, wrong the Kraken flared up to her full height (of madness and lunacy) and yesterday was a nightmare and then not and then returned to full flame as a lunatic, the wife getting it full bore which I don't like and I know I could resolve with one sentence,but the wife loves the evil bat so I can't because it would come back to haunt me, but an abusive relationship is an abusive relationship she wouldn't take 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% of the crap of me that she gives you so soak it up and get on with it I know this sounds harsh but if she does die I know who will gladly do a jig when it happens (and no she ain't worth doing prison time for) but then again pure evil never dies it just bleeds into others!
what does the weekend bring tons of work as I had to bring a load home some chores which in itself I don't mind to break up the monotony of work, hahahaha hamster on a bloody wheel and so there's the weekly blog, I've been down but not out, I can still pick myself up off the canvas, but the body shots are really starting to be annoying I don't want a lot, just a little happiness and if the rest don't,well it might be time to saddle up and go walkabout (ah the good old days) but there will be no retreat no surrender, I feel stronger than I have for a long while and I know I'm nowhere near perfect but really I am starting to get sick of the same old shit, so here's to a brighter future and who knows there could just be a little happiness in there somewhere, so until then .....Toodles!
Thursday, 11 July 2013
Blog with no name
I don't do emotions I don't like them I like to push the little bleeders way down as far as they will go, they do nothing but cause problems, problems we don't really need any of us shame we just couldn't breed them straight out of us, anger at the moment seems to be my fave of the bunch, but no lets just bottle it up and push it all the way down. I think I should have been a clone docile and full of wonder meant at this joyous world that we live in (damn sarcasm button why won't you come unstuck) now straight away peeps are going to be going oh oh is he in one of those moods ? well yeah I probably am if I'm honest I hate the world and all the rest of it at the moment!
Why? because I want to be, not because I want to hurt anybody or myself (because I don't) I am just hating having all these emotions running through me, I have even not named the blog because that in itself will give my emotions away (GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR) they are mine and I feel this way because I can, I'm actually thinking of advertising to see if anybody would like me to come and crap in their teapot so that my next life can be as shitty as this one!
By now hopefully you might have picked up a vibe, I'm annoyed angry, etc etc whatever words that can be used to describe me please fill in the blanks, is this because I'm actually keeping my writing to a minimum (for a special reason) but I don't even think that would help me, anger is just bubbling away and apathy isn't helping, Anger & Apathy sounds like a firm of debt collectors hmmm watch this space in case they do indeed collect any debts owed!
So short and sweet (just like me) seems to be the order of the day and I intend to keep them to once a week, which shouldn't be hard seeing as how all I ever do is work come home and go to bed, I'm a bloody hamster on a wheel and I want to burn the bloody wheel down! so I leave you safe in the knowledge that I'm not a happy camper and no amount of bloody therapy will help so Foxtrot Oscar the lot you and until sometime whenever Toodles!
Why? because I want to be, not because I want to hurt anybody or myself (because I don't) I am just hating having all these emotions running through me, I have even not named the blog because that in itself will give my emotions away (GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR) they are mine and I feel this way because I can, I'm actually thinking of advertising to see if anybody would like me to come and crap in their teapot so that my next life can be as shitty as this one!
By now hopefully you might have picked up a vibe, I'm annoyed angry, etc etc whatever words that can be used to describe me please fill in the blanks, is this because I'm actually keeping my writing to a minimum (for a special reason) but I don't even think that would help me, anger is just bubbling away and apathy isn't helping, Anger & Apathy sounds like a firm of debt collectors hmmm watch this space in case they do indeed collect any debts owed!
So short and sweet (just like me) seems to be the order of the day and I intend to keep them to once a week, which shouldn't be hard seeing as how all I ever do is work come home and go to bed, I'm a bloody hamster on a wheel and I want to burn the bloody wheel down! so I leave you safe in the knowledge that I'm not a happy camper and no amount of bloody therapy will help so Foxtrot Oscar the lot you and until sometime whenever Toodles!
Wednesday, 3 July 2013
Blood of my enemies
Ok so lets get cracking, technically this is going to be four blogs rolled into one, after you read this mess of a blog I'm sure that you (might) will understand.
The first part to be honest isn't as funny as I hoped it to be, I had to go to Leeds for work and many years ago after seeing the band that sang the song of the title of the blog (yes boys and girls the name game is still in play) they turned around at the end of the gig and went "Tomorrow we ride on Leeds" those of you in the know should chuckle, the rest of you will probably just scratch your heads and wonder about my mental health (more of which later), I had a good/funny type of blog planned mainly about two women who tried to push in ahead of me on the bus (oh dear the wife dared me to be annoying so I was) which it seems to becoming an Olympic standard sport at the moment, but then I got diverted, in a good way but still diverted and I thought I would do it the next day but in reality the moment had passed and I was grasping at straws and I knew it, you knew it, the world knew it we just all pretended but I didn't mind as I was in a great frame of mind, so that in reality was a good thing there wasn't any clouds in the sky (yet).
On Saturday we went to meet some friends who had travelled up the country to see The Wildhearts so we agreed to meet up for a drinkie poo's, we did that and generally had a great time I avoided the camera (which is always a plus) and allegedly I was in good form humorous and polite (WTF me with my reputation!) which for me seems to be yet another good thing. they went off to see the gig and we took a detour, and saw another friend which was even nicer because there had been no plans the wife steered us to another port and it was a wonderful time (the drink had kicked in by then) but thankfully the manly wrestling thingy majig was ignored (phew) at some point the sunset kicked in and we headed home before we had to use the stars to guide us home and although I had had a good drink and some good company I needed food, so we headed to KFC and were soon in our place of dwelling scoffing the lot, the next I knew it was midnight and I wanted my bed, I was starting to feel a tad rough (KFC poisoning) and sleep was now the order of the day.
I awoke the next day feeling like hammered shit and tonsils like medicine balls and no not drink related, I'm old enough to know the difference, the drink didn't help, but the blog I had formulated regarding drink and a Wildhearts roadie slinked back into the ether! the day slid and the vibe as a whole was ok, we watched the Grand Prix and had a generally quiet time, a summery vibe through the day, so again I didn't object it was the boo hoo club instead of the tee hee club but worse things happen at sea ....or so I'm told!
Monday came and I was back on the plague carrier but kindle and music made me a pleasant passenger I don't think I annoyed anybody so what could possibly go wrong and spoil my day, well actually not much, but you did notice that I said I was back on the bus well if I finish at my allotted time the bus I would get is packed to the gills if I can possibly hang on until 5.15 (a who song I believe) I can get on and granted I will have to share a seat with a member of the great unwashed, so I'm sat down it's easier on my knees, well you think my caring wife would be happy that I'm taking care of my health! nope one second past the allotted time she is on my case telling I should tell work to go fuck itself etc etc now I have to admit this is starting to piss me off big style and I have tried any number of times to broach the subject only to be ignored or worse looked at as though I'm shit on someone's shoe (you can see where this is going) at the moment I feel as though I'm atoning for somebody's else's sins and although I don't mind airing my problems I tend not to share other things however if you see fit I have no problem for you getting me fitted with an ankle bracelet, if you would like to see the probation service I'm sure they will buy into your fucking paranoia, I hung up after the phone call and tried to finish the small task I was doing and because I was wound up I fucked it up and had to start all over again so consequently I ended up being later from work than I intended, so go figure, my only real gripe is that I'm sick of being a prisoner at no point have I ever told my wife what to do, where to go or who to talk (like I would have a choice) so why does she insist that every second of my movements be co ordinated by the royal protection detail so that I run on clock work, sorry but I'm getting pretty damn sick of it......OK!
The night got away from me and the wife wasn't well (probably the real reason for my slagging on the phone) so I put her to bed and I was still damn angry I had intended to do a blog simply called "Poison" but I would have been looking for a divorce lawyer rather going to see the quacks today, as always just a minor blip in the grand scheme of things but hey ho it boils my piss. Tuesday I was duty dog a late start and a late finish and as I walked through the door there was chaos and mayhem all over the place and I wasn't in the mood for it, so I kicked off took charge and barked my orders like an NCO should, cleared a large section of the mall of public and called the fire brigade, problem solved there was some direction, as always the troops mustered rallied and took the bridgehead created and stormed the problem a total result and the fire brigade where very happy with the results, so a resounding result, I stopped being the professional that I am and was about to spew forth a load of technical descriptive wording (that's swearing to the non English who are reading) when out of the corner of my eye I saw my boss who then proceed to congratulate me (and the team) on a job well done ooops nearly dropped myself in it, the rest of the day passed without much problems other than the hideous amounts of paperwork that goes with the exercise that I kicked off at the start of the shift.
An uneventful bus trip with yet an other person pushing in to get on the bus, this time I didn't care the plague carrier was empty and I just wanted a seat my knee was putting like an on board motor off a boat and I sat and then it dawned on me tomorrow was the big day, damn it had crept up on me and I wasn't prepared (oh a get out of jail card erm no) I sat and contemplated an exit strategy, and I came up with a few but in the end the only loser is going to be me and the fallout would be catastrophic, as I climbed out at the end of the journey my mind was set all I had to do was walk through the doors and that first step was taken......or was it? This morning we only went and slept in (ooooh some kind of cryptic message from a guardian angel) but no it wasn't that bad only a little late so I still got sorted and a United Nations convoy was going to drop me off at my appointment (ok so the car was going to be full and I was going to drop and roll as we passed the hospital) and lo and behold the wife and the eldest only went and got stressed because the back lane was full of traffic (another sign to get the hell out of dodge) but no I fed them both 9000mm of elephant tranquiliser and it got them down to a dull roar (just). We followed the directions and I was in the drop zone and as soon as I put my foot out of the car PANIC in big capital letters I just wanted to climb back in and not go but I forced myself down the stairs, into a very foreboding clinical building the vibe wasn't there, I introduced myself and was told I was in the wrong building (how many signs do I need to tell me this isn't the way forward) I listened to the instructions and followed them to the letter and again ended up in totally wrong place this time I tried the main reception and thankfully ended up in the right direction, again to be in the wrong place, right building wrong fucking entrance I was now truly annoyed and emotionally distraught, if someone had said the wrong thing I probably would have done GBH there and then or was that the plan?
Once more I introduced myself, they confirmed my details and asked me to have a seat a much nicer environment but I was far from stable and was about to bolt, when my name was called (fuck I was stuck) the nurse had my only point of escape blocked and I didn't have the strength to throw a three tier seat through the ridiculously small fucking window, I followed meekly and sat where I was directed and then over the course of an hour spilled my guts, no I don't want medication, no I was never abused as a child, no I don't want to hurt myself, nor am I suicidal, do I have dark thoughts? define dark thoughts? erm fuck yeah painted in the blackest black there is, and bit by bit the armour that was rusted and ineffective was peeled away and I felt better for it, this lady didn't know me she listened asked questions and waited when it got just a tad emotional, thinking back she got a damn sight more information out of me than I intended, I was intending to stay aloof and then do a runner, but no she knee capped me with patience and I spilled my guts like a stool pigeon in an episode of the Soprano's! she was very good and I know this will not be resolved overnight I'm now part of a huge machine hopefully I have done the right thing!
The outcome .....well it's to be decided by others she has all she needs, she has told what he intends to recommend for me, (that's for me to know and for me to write about at length) she then went on to congratulate me for the strength of character to get through the last 32 years, WTF a total stranger and in less then three minutes she gave me more self belief in myself than I thought was possible had there been tears? yes a few misty eyed moments but it did me better than trying to bottle it up, I walked out with my head held high, how the hell did that happen? did it last? fuck no, but it has given me a much more better map for the road ahead (and more cunning plans as well) I'm sure I will comment in some way or another, I went to work did what I had to do and came home no fussing no fighting and had a lovely meal prepared by my wife (I know I wondered which organ I was going to have to be selling next) and that's the quartet all rolled into one a lot of good points mainly meeting Dunc (the aforementioned Wildhearts roadie) with some scandalous tales and happy memories, we need more people in the world like him a true gent, the hospital even took details of my blog ( I know a shameless media whore as always I need to boost ratings) just to confirm I am the loon I profess to be this is me a happier person because I took the step! I don't need rehab I don't do anything stupid (no comment G please I'm going to get enough shit for the earlier comments) as I sit here listening to The Wildhearts typing this mess up I feel the title is off the mark but I had promised a blog with that title, so as always I delivered (only a little late and you should have seen some of the threats I got ...alright Lady E hahahaha) if only slightly late considering I will trawl through my fave Wildhearts tracks and choose one for a forthcoming blog? maybe I should get Dunc to hold cards up to see what would get the best response.........ah tad difficult in this medium hahahahaha I have one straight away but I would be dead if I use it and I'm not that brave just yet! anyway I'm waffling thanks as always to everybody for the help and the support for little old me. I hope this was enjoyable in some kind of way I know I enjoyed it so catch ya all laters! until then Toodles!
The first part to be honest isn't as funny as I hoped it to be, I had to go to Leeds for work and many years ago after seeing the band that sang the song of the title of the blog (yes boys and girls the name game is still in play) they turned around at the end of the gig and went "Tomorrow we ride on Leeds" those of you in the know should chuckle, the rest of you will probably just scratch your heads and wonder about my mental health (more of which later), I had a good/funny type of blog planned mainly about two women who tried to push in ahead of me on the bus (oh dear the wife dared me to be annoying so I was) which it seems to becoming an Olympic standard sport at the moment, but then I got diverted, in a good way but still diverted and I thought I would do it the next day but in reality the moment had passed and I was grasping at straws and I knew it, you knew it, the world knew it we just all pretended but I didn't mind as I was in a great frame of mind, so that in reality was a good thing there wasn't any clouds in the sky (yet).
On Saturday we went to meet some friends who had travelled up the country to see The Wildhearts so we agreed to meet up for a drinkie poo's, we did that and generally had a great time I avoided the camera (which is always a plus) and allegedly I was in good form humorous and polite (WTF me with my reputation!) which for me seems to be yet another good thing. they went off to see the gig and we took a detour, and saw another friend which was even nicer because there had been no plans the wife steered us to another port and it was a wonderful time (the drink had kicked in by then) but thankfully the manly wrestling thingy majig was ignored (phew) at some point the sunset kicked in and we headed home before we had to use the stars to guide us home and although I had had a good drink and some good company I needed food, so we headed to KFC and were soon in our place of dwelling scoffing the lot, the next I knew it was midnight and I wanted my bed, I was starting to feel a tad rough (KFC poisoning) and sleep was now the order of the day.
I awoke the next day feeling like hammered shit and tonsils like medicine balls and no not drink related, I'm old enough to know the difference, the drink didn't help, but the blog I had formulated regarding drink and a Wildhearts roadie slinked back into the ether! the day slid and the vibe as a whole was ok, we watched the Grand Prix and had a generally quiet time, a summery vibe through the day, so again I didn't object it was the boo hoo club instead of the tee hee club but worse things happen at sea ....or so I'm told!
Monday came and I was back on the plague carrier but kindle and music made me a pleasant passenger I don't think I annoyed anybody so what could possibly go wrong and spoil my day, well actually not much, but you did notice that I said I was back on the bus well if I finish at my allotted time the bus I would get is packed to the gills if I can possibly hang on until 5.15 (a who song I believe) I can get on and granted I will have to share a seat with a member of the great unwashed, so I'm sat down it's easier on my knees, well you think my caring wife would be happy that I'm taking care of my health! nope one second past the allotted time she is on my case telling I should tell work to go fuck itself etc etc now I have to admit this is starting to piss me off big style and I have tried any number of times to broach the subject only to be ignored or worse looked at as though I'm shit on someone's shoe (you can see where this is going) at the moment I feel as though I'm atoning for somebody's else's sins and although I don't mind airing my problems I tend not to share other things however if you see fit I have no problem for you getting me fitted with an ankle bracelet, if you would like to see the probation service I'm sure they will buy into your fucking paranoia, I hung up after the phone call and tried to finish the small task I was doing and because I was wound up I fucked it up and had to start all over again so consequently I ended up being later from work than I intended, so go figure, my only real gripe is that I'm sick of being a prisoner at no point have I ever told my wife what to do, where to go or who to talk (like I would have a choice) so why does she insist that every second of my movements be co ordinated by the royal protection detail so that I run on clock work, sorry but I'm getting pretty damn sick of it......OK!
The night got away from me and the wife wasn't well (probably the real reason for my slagging on the phone) so I put her to bed and I was still damn angry I had intended to do a blog simply called "Poison" but I would have been looking for a divorce lawyer rather going to see the quacks today, as always just a minor blip in the grand scheme of things but hey ho it boils my piss. Tuesday I was duty dog a late start and a late finish and as I walked through the door there was chaos and mayhem all over the place and I wasn't in the mood for it, so I kicked off took charge and barked my orders like an NCO should, cleared a large section of the mall of public and called the fire brigade, problem solved there was some direction, as always the troops mustered rallied and took the bridgehead created and stormed the problem a total result and the fire brigade where very happy with the results, so a resounding result, I stopped being the professional that I am and was about to spew forth a load of technical descriptive wording (that's swearing to the non English who are reading) when out of the corner of my eye I saw my boss who then proceed to congratulate me (and the team) on a job well done ooops nearly dropped myself in it, the rest of the day passed without much problems other than the hideous amounts of paperwork that goes with the exercise that I kicked off at the start of the shift.
An uneventful bus trip with yet an other person pushing in to get on the bus, this time I didn't care the plague carrier was empty and I just wanted a seat my knee was putting like an on board motor off a boat and I sat and then it dawned on me tomorrow was the big day, damn it had crept up on me and I wasn't prepared (oh a get out of jail card erm no) I sat and contemplated an exit strategy, and I came up with a few but in the end the only loser is going to be me and the fallout would be catastrophic, as I climbed out at the end of the journey my mind was set all I had to do was walk through the doors and that first step was taken......or was it? This morning we only went and slept in (ooooh some kind of cryptic message from a guardian angel) but no it wasn't that bad only a little late so I still got sorted and a United Nations convoy was going to drop me off at my appointment (ok so the car was going to be full and I was going to drop and roll as we passed the hospital) and lo and behold the wife and the eldest only went and got stressed because the back lane was full of traffic (another sign to get the hell out of dodge) but no I fed them both 9000mm of elephant tranquiliser and it got them down to a dull roar (just). We followed the directions and I was in the drop zone and as soon as I put my foot out of the car PANIC in big capital letters I just wanted to climb back in and not go but I forced myself down the stairs, into a very foreboding clinical building the vibe wasn't there, I introduced myself and was told I was in the wrong building (how many signs do I need to tell me this isn't the way forward) I listened to the instructions and followed them to the letter and again ended up in totally wrong place this time I tried the main reception and thankfully ended up in the right direction, again to be in the wrong place, right building wrong fucking entrance I was now truly annoyed and emotionally distraught, if someone had said the wrong thing I probably would have done GBH there and then or was that the plan?
Once more I introduced myself, they confirmed my details and asked me to have a seat a much nicer environment but I was far from stable and was about to bolt, when my name was called (fuck I was stuck) the nurse had my only point of escape blocked and I didn't have the strength to throw a three tier seat through the ridiculously small fucking window, I followed meekly and sat where I was directed and then over the course of an hour spilled my guts, no I don't want medication, no I was never abused as a child, no I don't want to hurt myself, nor am I suicidal, do I have dark thoughts? define dark thoughts? erm fuck yeah painted in the blackest black there is, and bit by bit the armour that was rusted and ineffective was peeled away and I felt better for it, this lady didn't know me she listened asked questions and waited when it got just a tad emotional, thinking back she got a damn sight more information out of me than I intended, I was intending to stay aloof and then do a runner, but no she knee capped me with patience and I spilled my guts like a stool pigeon in an episode of the Soprano's! she was very good and I know this will not be resolved overnight I'm now part of a huge machine hopefully I have done the right thing!
The outcome .....well it's to be decided by others she has all she needs, she has told what he intends to recommend for me, (that's for me to know and for me to write about at length) she then went on to congratulate me for the strength of character to get through the last 32 years, WTF a total stranger and in less then three minutes she gave me more self belief in myself than I thought was possible had there been tears? yes a few misty eyed moments but it did me better than trying to bottle it up, I walked out with my head held high, how the hell did that happen? did it last? fuck no, but it has given me a much more better map for the road ahead (and more cunning plans as well) I'm sure I will comment in some way or another, I went to work did what I had to do and came home no fussing no fighting and had a lovely meal prepared by my wife (I know I wondered which organ I was going to have to be selling next) and that's the quartet all rolled into one a lot of good points mainly meeting Dunc (the aforementioned Wildhearts roadie) with some scandalous tales and happy memories, we need more people in the world like him a true gent, the hospital even took details of my blog ( I know a shameless media whore as always I need to boost ratings) just to confirm I am the loon I profess to be this is me a happier person because I took the step! I don't need rehab I don't do anything stupid (no comment G please I'm going to get enough shit for the earlier comments) as I sit here listening to The Wildhearts typing this mess up I feel the title is off the mark but I had promised a blog with that title, so as always I delivered (only a little late and you should have seen some of the threats I got ...alright Lady E hahahaha) if only slightly late considering I will trawl through my fave Wildhearts tracks and choose one for a forthcoming blog? maybe I should get Dunc to hold cards up to see what would get the best response.........ah tad difficult in this medium hahahahaha I have one straight away but I would be dead if I use it and I'm not that brave just yet! anyway I'm waffling thanks as always to everybody for the help and the support for little old me. I hope this was enjoyable in some kind of way I know I enjoyed it so catch ya all laters! until then Toodles!
Wednesday, 26 June 2013
Good Morning Judge
So there I was down but not out, I had a date to appear in court for my alleged (cough splutter) plagiarism, I knew I was screwed! but I wanted to see how screwed, so I scraped up the cash for a big money consult and he suggested I should buy a new arse! because the one I had at the time was about to be ruined, hell for £700 I wanted better news than that, my mates told me that in the pub and they at least bought me a pint for the privilege, the only good news I was given was to go to court without a lawyer, (and they expect to get paid for that kind of advice fuck me) hells bells I didn't have the money for one anyway, I actually expected the cheque I paid my fee to bounce all the way back to me, so for once I did as I was told, actually he said play for time, so not to turn up with a lawyer, so he could prepare the case, I cheekily asked a conservative price for dealing with the case and he said two years and at least £200000...WTF the cheeky bastard! so I turned up to court without a lawyer because I didn't have one, I had sacked him.
It was a sunny day (maybe that's why I hate sunny days so much) and we were the first case in court number 2 (I giggled childishly at that one, because the day was just going to get shitter as it went on) and I sat at the back because I didn't have a clue, the judge came in and asked where I was, I politely put my hand up and was asked to sit at the front, then I was asked "where's your lawyer"? "I don't have one your honour" to which he looked at me as though I was certifiable, hahaha at the time I probably was! I was asked to accompany the judge to his chambers (can I just take this moment to let the world know that at no time did he interfere with me or my body) he asked me a few questions and listened to my answers, to paint the picture at the time I was a long haired (lover from Liverpool ....ooops Ok maybe's not) lout who hadn't wore "proper clothes" in about four years. I hadn't seen a shirt since the army, but on this day I had my hair cut to a respectable length, shaved and I was wearing (gasp,shock,horror) trousers, not jeans and a shirt with a tie (I looked a right clip I can assure you) I looked a tad respectable, the guys who dragged me to court to sue my sorry ass had come up in the lift and not given me a second look it was so funny. I gave the judge a sob story I had just bought a house, I wasn't able to work in my profession etc etc and he bought it he gave me some advice, free of charge, I pretended that I was an innocent in a sea of devils, and he took it in hook line and bloody sinker, hahahaha so we went back into the court room and he adjourned the case, he moved the case to Durham so that I didn't have to travel he even awarded me costs for my travel down to London for the day, as I told him I had a return ticket as I didn't have the money to stay anywhere as I expected (ahem) for the case to be found against me and I would just suffer the consequences, the two guys who had brought the case sat there as though they had been kicked in the nuts the day had cost them about £1500 and me about £45 for my train fare which I got back hahaha.
The next date was set six months down the line and I set about preparing my case along the lines of what the judge had said, I declined the legal aid solicitor because I was a screwed pooch anyway my intention was to fight a war of attrition and to cost them money, I was there on time on the allotted time and their guy wasn't he was stuck on a train somewhere south of Derby hahahaha another £1500 + for them less than £3.00 bus fare for me, the case was put on the back burner for another date in the courts calendar 8 months down the line, to which I turned up again with my plastic bag of papers this time they were two of them and they had travelled up the night before, How did I know this? I sat behind them in the café while waiting to go in, it was fun we had the same rigmarole about where was my lawyer, I told my tale in court this time and they kicked off saying I was stalling (me with my reputation) I just sat there looking innocent, they complained so far that the case had taken nearly two years at a cost of nearly £70000, shocking was my thought it had cost me next to fuck all haha, we sat through the day of evidence and then I claimed that some of the things that they had claimed were new to me and that I couldn't possibly answer without checking my facts first, the judge agreed and gave me another six months on account of the fact that I was now working a menial job on minimum wage, they were fuming as they left the court.
The next date was nearly two years after the initial start of the case and when I went to court this time I asked for it to be dismissed, as I was now getting screwed by the tax man (see last blog), I was told that they couldn't dismiss it (I knew that I was doing what I do best and that is too play dumb) as it had gone on for so long, then the dumbass's discovered that they hadn't brought the relevant paperwork, the case was moved for four weeks and then I missed the court date as my mother had had a stroke,A genuine case I was there three months down the line and we were fast approaching the three year mark, we all sat down in the judges chambers to discuss how we could get the case solved, the lawyers sat and again whinged that heir costs now exceeded £90000, and that they were no further forward, I explained that they had hounded me out of my chosen profession that my wife had left me because of it and that my mother had had a stroke because of it, how could you put a monetary cost on that,(I could have written a country and western song about it hahahaha) the judge only went and agreed with me hahahaha we were given a further 12 weeks to sort it out amicably, I ignored the first letter and claimed it hadn't come through, when the second letter arrived I had to sign to say I received it, I signed in my brothers name and then sat on it for three weeks , well I never saw my brother that often as we worked opposite shifts hahaha, we finally got to court and my final play was that I was working a number of menial jobs just to keep my head above water, that I was being prosecuted by the tax man who was now looking at the business practices of the people who dragged me through the courts, the bounders, I had lost my house in the divorce, and my family were suffering I wouldn't be able to pay any money back and would have to declare myself bankrupt, I went on and on like this for nearly twenty minutes. the court found in their favour , but because I had suffered because of their maliciousness when they could have had a lump sum of money off the major wanting to sign me, they got all they deserved case dismissed, Their lawyer got done for contempt of court and left the court head hanging low.
They disagreed with the judge and tried to appeal they were knocked back and nearly four years after denying me the job that I loved (ahem cough splutter whoops) they were told to wind their collective neck in, they didn't pay their solicitors and got dragged through the courts for that as well, I believe they owed £104,000 for the case against me, they then had costs for the second case etc etc I reckon they lost £200,000 when they could have made £10,000 for fuck all, but no they got greedy and saw their cash cow moving onto pastures greener, it cost me I reckon £50 at most for bus fares, the moral of the story is don't fuck with me I don't care if I lose, in my mind I will always win and I really don't give a rats ass what it costs the opposition! because I have sod all to my name way.
And that concludes the historical trilogy that I promised you, about my past life in the music industry, was it better than the usual miserable waffle I post ? I suppose it depends on the numbers (and they have been so good) for those of you who care (and there does seem to a few of you) about my general mental health issues, I'm doing OK at the moment no silly moments the wife isn't shouting at me (well no more than normal) thanks for the comments and watch the skies there will be more soon as I seem to have hit a purple patch I just need to see how I organise the stream of consciousness that I have been writing of late, until then Toodles!
Thursday, 20 June 2013
Tax Man
So if you have read the previous blog, you will know I was on the dole and needing to be earning some money, as I had just bought a house, paid off the debts of my first wife and had sod all left of my savings, I used to build up a nest egg and then blow it, and this time life had kicked me right in the nuts, the timing was perfect for life to teach me an important life lesson, did I learn? did I hell, I did what I always do I blundered on into the night.
I had been working at my new (menial) job for nearly a year and it paid the bills! I wasn't bothered as I honestly thought I was going to go back to doing music at some point in the near distance, so I was polite and did the job, as I always did, to the best of my abilities and I took a sickie here or there because it was just that a job low paid and crap but it kept my head above water so there were no complaints, then out of the blue I was offered another (menial) job better money and actually doing something constructive during the time I was actually at work.
I had been at my new job about 4 months when everything went pear shaped my wife whose debt I had so wonderfully cleared decided she had had enough being a regulars Joe's wife, so we split, cue a little drama and we moved on, I was gutted as much as the next person, but we both got on with it, and then about six weeks later I got a random letter from the tax man saying that they would like to go over my books (for music) not a worry I had been audited before and they had been happy, they asked me to turn up with my accountant (uh oh) so I arranged it with him and we quibbled about the fee but he was there bright and early, we were made to wait about ten minutes but they were nice and offered us a cup of tea while we waited, we declined the generous offer and kept on making plots of mass destruction and kept wondering why now all of a Sudden?
We went in and sat in the plastic seats provided and then they kicked off big style, we believe that you haven't paid enough tax, where were you working on these dates and what pay did you receive for the work?, rapid quick fire no let up the questions kept coming they left us alone while we conferred for a few minutes, marched back into the room called me a liar and my accountant worse they then said that they wanted £17,588.22 this was the money I owed plus interest, I had three years to pay it back and if I wanted to contest it they would gladly take me to court and see me in jail (gulp I'm too pretty for prison) we said that we would get back to them, we did and we agreed an easy payment settlement, I just now had to figure where the hell I was going to get the money from?
I worked every hour I could I did second and third jobs (cash in hand of course) and then I did the thing I said I would never I sold my copyrights, finally getting the tax man off my back in the three years they had said I had, phew you think! actually no I did alright out of selling my songs but one of the ones I co wrote and sold for £300 went to chart everywhere except the UK (thank fuck) if I had kept it I could of retired in 1989 (ah fuck pig), they never did ask me where I got the money from...go figure! how was I captured (do you notice I never denied doing what I was accused of) I believe my ex father in law who hated my guts found my books after I moved out and sent them to the taxman! ah well you live and learn ( I say that now but that's not how I felt at the time) it was just another nail in my musical coffin I stuck to getting paid weakly (no trust me the spelling is correct)I never had to chase people for money, it was a done deal and the taxman chased me for another ten years, why I hear you ask? well because he could.
Life didn't end I met my present wife and the third world debt that comes with becoming a family etc etc and so ends the second part of my musical malady and hopefully the third part will see me throw my ring (careful G) into mount doom or not as the case maybe so watch the skies and get used to me not being the misery I used to be but until then .....Toodles!
I had been working at my new (menial) job for nearly a year and it paid the bills! I wasn't bothered as I honestly thought I was going to go back to doing music at some point in the near distance, so I was polite and did the job, as I always did, to the best of my abilities and I took a sickie here or there because it was just that a job low paid and crap but it kept my head above water so there were no complaints, then out of the blue I was offered another (menial) job better money and actually doing something constructive during the time I was actually at work.
I had been at my new job about 4 months when everything went pear shaped my wife whose debt I had so wonderfully cleared decided she had had enough being a regulars Joe's wife, so we split, cue a little drama and we moved on, I was gutted as much as the next person, but we both got on with it, and then about six weeks later I got a random letter from the tax man saying that they would like to go over my books (for music) not a worry I had been audited before and they had been happy, they asked me to turn up with my accountant (uh oh) so I arranged it with him and we quibbled about the fee but he was there bright and early, we were made to wait about ten minutes but they were nice and offered us a cup of tea while we waited, we declined the generous offer and kept on making plots of mass destruction and kept wondering why now all of a Sudden?
We went in and sat in the plastic seats provided and then they kicked off big style, we believe that you haven't paid enough tax, where were you working on these dates and what pay did you receive for the work?, rapid quick fire no let up the questions kept coming they left us alone while we conferred for a few minutes, marched back into the room called me a liar and my accountant worse they then said that they wanted £17,588.22 this was the money I owed plus interest, I had three years to pay it back and if I wanted to contest it they would gladly take me to court and see me in jail (gulp I'm too pretty for prison) we said that we would get back to them, we did and we agreed an easy payment settlement, I just now had to figure where the hell I was going to get the money from?
I worked every hour I could I did second and third jobs (cash in hand of course) and then I did the thing I said I would never I sold my copyrights, finally getting the tax man off my back in the three years they had said I had, phew you think! actually no I did alright out of selling my songs but one of the ones I co wrote and sold for £300 went to chart everywhere except the UK (thank fuck) if I had kept it I could of retired in 1989 (ah fuck pig), they never did ask me where I got the money from...go figure! how was I captured (do you notice I never denied doing what I was accused of) I believe my ex father in law who hated my guts found my books after I moved out and sent them to the taxman! ah well you live and learn ( I say that now but that's not how I felt at the time) it was just another nail in my musical coffin I stuck to getting paid weakly (no trust me the spelling is correct)I never had to chase people for money, it was a done deal and the taxman chased me for another ten years, why I hear you ask? well because he could.
Life didn't end I met my present wife and the third world debt that comes with becoming a family etc etc and so ends the second part of my musical malady and hopefully the third part will see me throw my ring (careful G) into mount doom or not as the case maybe so watch the skies and get used to me not being the misery I used to be but until then .....Toodles!
Tuesday, 18 June 2013
Kiss like Judas
Ok so I can never remember what I have written or not in previous blogs (from the other site) but a question I keep getting asked is how if I can't sing or play did I ever get involved in music? well that's dead easy, I just hung on in like gunga din, I hung around musicians, people who were very technically proficient at playing instruments, but in the writing department they couldn't string two words together! I was cheap, I was available most of the time and I worked sometimes freakishly quick, it was a great time I was young and dumb ....lets just not go there, I loved it, silly hours, silly goings on lots of travel and lots of gigs I loved it, one of my usual co writers got me a small deal with a small collective which actually got me published at the age of 15, which helped!
I was soon brought to the attention of another small publishing company (small but very professional) and I soon had a deal to produce 32 pieces of original work, not much but with my skill set, work was few and far between, thankfully my friends kept throwing me a bone here and there and I soon had a good reputation for my work ethic I would turn up on time I would work hard and I wouldn't make (too many) waves, now it wasn't always plain sailing and sometimes it was more than cross words and I soon found out who I liked working with and who I didn't, one of my mates once commented that I could spot a cock at 900 paces, I really do hope he was being complimentary.
The biggest pain was getting a credit, fine with my mates but other (ahem) artists were generally out for themselves, that was the name of the game I don't blame them if I had been in a stronger position I would have done exactly the same, I wasn't too pushy and I was really young to be doing the line of work I was in, I never worked with A list stars hell I probably managed a few Z list performers, but I enjoyed the work and at the time it was like taking candy from a baby, I soon realised I could do re writes like a demon and although I never got a credit I got paid better, so my publisher got a bigger cut £600 in the hand was £60 for him and I made a lot of money (and I mean oodles) I also spent it rather quickly! on what? well going to see bands and the such like, the odd house from time to time, well I would have them for six months and then sell them because I never stayed there more than three or four times, I got a load of work in Edinburgh lived there on and off for 18 months then when I started looking for a flat the worked dried up! I bought a flat in Croydon I had it 9 months slept there 8 times ....go figure, work and watching bands was the order of the day and I never took it too seriously, until one day when my contract was up for renewal and the guy who owned the company offered me a very good deal, a substantial rise and a better all round contract and then when he hooked me, he took my legs away and said that a major publishing house had seen my work and wanted me to work with young bands (as in illiterate) and what they were offering was double what he was ....ah bugger he gave me 8 weeks to think about it and he was more than happy for me to take their deal, he wouldn't stand in my way, the fact that they had offered him a rather large signing on fee helped but he kept that to himself (for the moment) it was all up to me.
I was confused at the time, for about ten minutes and then I said that I would sign with the major, he then told me everything that would happen, he didn't want to release me early as I was his biggest earner, although I wasn't publishing many originals his percentage of me doing the assists to these bands amounted to nearly 40% of his company's profit, I set the ball rolling, I went to the new plush offices of the new company, i was shown who I would be working under, it all seemed very civilised! what on earth could go wrong (you can see where this going can't you) two weeks later my publisher died of a heart attack, an honest man working long hours trying to do the best that he could for his loyal band of workers and sometimes times were lean, sometimes the company was on a sticky wicket, which is why he was glad to have me on the books, at the time there was outstanding VAT and although the money was there it wasn't ready cash and his wife wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with all the goings on ( I have recently found out that she bought the company back a few years ago and its once more a thriving independent) she got a great offer and all the liabilities off her back so she took it.
The company changed almost straight away some people laid off, others contracts were (ahem) renegotiated, mine wasn't they seemed keen to keep me, but this was the straw that broke the camels back, things then turned nasty they refused to release me until I completed all the works owed under the terms of the contract (ah bollocks) I had been labouring away doing all the re writes I hadn't taken due care and attention of my contract and although I had done above and beyond the call of duty, they were simply holding me to ransom (wanted my copyrights etc etc) now at this point I should point out I will gladly cut my nose off to spite my own face and I was worse when I was younger, so I went into stroppy mode (oops) and it didn't get me anywhere, so soon we had gunship diplomacy, neither side talking except through lawyers and I was hurting badly, the major was shrinking in the distance and I did the stupidest thing in the world, I completed my contract in just under eight days, something was rotten in the state of Denmark and the new owners were aware of it, I had produced just over 35 completed sets of lyrics in that period of time, even me at full speed ahead, this was a completely erroneous state of affairs, problem solved I cleared my desk and waited with baited breath.
Seven days later I was hit with a writ that claimed breach of contract, fraudulent accounting methods and worse of all plagiarism, I was sunk the major ripped up the contract up I was holed below the waterline with those charges against me nobody would touch me with a barge pole I knew that I was fucked but I wasn't backing down (hindsight is a wonderful thing) the urge of youth or whatever you want to call it I went down all guns blazing, the why and the where fore isn't for this blog (another time yes) the upshot in reality I should have resigned for another year gone with the flow and walked away and they couldn't have done fuck all, I counter sued loss of earnings etc etc etc and then fired my lawyers, and turned up in court with just little old me to defend myself, I had just bought a house and pumped everything into the house, I was penniless so I took a temporary job (27 years I'm still there ) the trials and tribulations I will blog about another time.
Were the charges correct? actually yes and no, yes I was in breach of contract but it had been agreed (with a handshake) with the previous owner and that's why there was the signing on fee, had I been fraudulent actually that would be a no, hells bells I was scared of my own shadow did I rip off the taxman? yes! did the taxman catch and rag me with a rusty trumpet your darn tooting he did, again a story for another blog! did I plagiarise anybody.........yes I did I was so pissed of like a dumbass I went home and trawled through every obscure (not that obscure as it was) album I had and I pulled a line from here and a line from there until I had the required number to sell my soul! they simply employed a musicologist and he nailed my sorry arse to the wall (the bastard) bang to rights etc etc. the jig was up and the rest is history mind you I did drag the court case on for six years and it cost me nothing as they had "deprived" me of earning a living at my trade, again another blog as I feel this one is starting to spiral out of control.
Do I miss it? actually the honest answer is no! it was starting to be bloody hard work, the fun was going out of it, was I any good? yeah sorry I was fucking really good, but the shine was off the apple and I love the job I do more! it just took twenty years to get to the good bit! the wife would love me to go back to it, but I'm not as dumb as I look it's a younger person's game now, someone up with technology skills (so not me) and can multi task (again so not me) I like doing my blogs and the occasional book, ask me to write a song now would be like pulling a tooth using an egg whisk.....nigh on impossible, so don't live in the past live for today as tomorrow may never come, there I can still write like the old days and there is the potential for at least another two to follow on not morose (although it bloody well should be) hopefully a witty (WTF) take on a time long long ago, so watch the skies for the next thrilling episode of..........Toodles!
I was soon brought to the attention of another small publishing company (small but very professional) and I soon had a deal to produce 32 pieces of original work, not much but with my skill set, work was few and far between, thankfully my friends kept throwing me a bone here and there and I soon had a good reputation for my work ethic I would turn up on time I would work hard and I wouldn't make (too many) waves, now it wasn't always plain sailing and sometimes it was more than cross words and I soon found out who I liked working with and who I didn't, one of my mates once commented that I could spot a cock at 900 paces, I really do hope he was being complimentary.
The biggest pain was getting a credit, fine with my mates but other (ahem) artists were generally out for themselves, that was the name of the game I don't blame them if I had been in a stronger position I would have done exactly the same, I wasn't too pushy and I was really young to be doing the line of work I was in, I never worked with A list stars hell I probably managed a few Z list performers, but I enjoyed the work and at the time it was like taking candy from a baby, I soon realised I could do re writes like a demon and although I never got a credit I got paid better, so my publisher got a bigger cut £600 in the hand was £60 for him and I made a lot of money (and I mean oodles) I also spent it rather quickly! on what? well going to see bands and the such like, the odd house from time to time, well I would have them for six months and then sell them because I never stayed there more than three or four times, I got a load of work in Edinburgh lived there on and off for 18 months then when I started looking for a flat the worked dried up! I bought a flat in Croydon I had it 9 months slept there 8 times ....go figure, work and watching bands was the order of the day and I never took it too seriously, until one day when my contract was up for renewal and the guy who owned the company offered me a very good deal, a substantial rise and a better all round contract and then when he hooked me, he took my legs away and said that a major publishing house had seen my work and wanted me to work with young bands (as in illiterate) and what they were offering was double what he was ....ah bugger he gave me 8 weeks to think about it and he was more than happy for me to take their deal, he wouldn't stand in my way, the fact that they had offered him a rather large signing on fee helped but he kept that to himself (for the moment) it was all up to me.
I was confused at the time, for about ten minutes and then I said that I would sign with the major, he then told me everything that would happen, he didn't want to release me early as I was his biggest earner, although I wasn't publishing many originals his percentage of me doing the assists to these bands amounted to nearly 40% of his company's profit, I set the ball rolling, I went to the new plush offices of the new company, i was shown who I would be working under, it all seemed very civilised! what on earth could go wrong (you can see where this going can't you) two weeks later my publisher died of a heart attack, an honest man working long hours trying to do the best that he could for his loyal band of workers and sometimes times were lean, sometimes the company was on a sticky wicket, which is why he was glad to have me on the books, at the time there was outstanding VAT and although the money was there it wasn't ready cash and his wife wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with all the goings on ( I have recently found out that she bought the company back a few years ago and its once more a thriving independent) she got a great offer and all the liabilities off her back so she took it.
The company changed almost straight away some people laid off, others contracts were (ahem) renegotiated, mine wasn't they seemed keen to keep me, but this was the straw that broke the camels back, things then turned nasty they refused to release me until I completed all the works owed under the terms of the contract (ah bollocks) I had been labouring away doing all the re writes I hadn't taken due care and attention of my contract and although I had done above and beyond the call of duty, they were simply holding me to ransom (wanted my copyrights etc etc) now at this point I should point out I will gladly cut my nose off to spite my own face and I was worse when I was younger, so I went into stroppy mode (oops) and it didn't get me anywhere, so soon we had gunship diplomacy, neither side talking except through lawyers and I was hurting badly, the major was shrinking in the distance and I did the stupidest thing in the world, I completed my contract in just under eight days, something was rotten in the state of Denmark and the new owners were aware of it, I had produced just over 35 completed sets of lyrics in that period of time, even me at full speed ahead, this was a completely erroneous state of affairs, problem solved I cleared my desk and waited with baited breath.
Seven days later I was hit with a writ that claimed breach of contract, fraudulent accounting methods and worse of all plagiarism, I was sunk the major ripped up the contract up I was holed below the waterline with those charges against me nobody would touch me with a barge pole I knew that I was fucked but I wasn't backing down (hindsight is a wonderful thing) the urge of youth or whatever you want to call it I went down all guns blazing, the why and the where fore isn't for this blog (another time yes) the upshot in reality I should have resigned for another year gone with the flow and walked away and they couldn't have done fuck all, I counter sued loss of earnings etc etc etc and then fired my lawyers, and turned up in court with just little old me to defend myself, I had just bought a house and pumped everything into the house, I was penniless so I took a temporary job (27 years I'm still there ) the trials and tribulations I will blog about another time.
Were the charges correct? actually yes and no, yes I was in breach of contract but it had been agreed (with a handshake) with the previous owner and that's why there was the signing on fee, had I been fraudulent actually that would be a no, hells bells I was scared of my own shadow did I rip off the taxman? yes! did the taxman catch and rag me with a rusty trumpet your darn tooting he did, again a story for another blog! did I plagiarise anybody.........yes I did I was so pissed of like a dumbass I went home and trawled through every obscure (not that obscure as it was) album I had and I pulled a line from here and a line from there until I had the required number to sell my soul! they simply employed a musicologist and he nailed my sorry arse to the wall (the bastard) bang to rights etc etc. the jig was up and the rest is history mind you I did drag the court case on for six years and it cost me nothing as they had "deprived" me of earning a living at my trade, again another blog as I feel this one is starting to spiral out of control.
Do I miss it? actually the honest answer is no! it was starting to be bloody hard work, the fun was going out of it, was I any good? yeah sorry I was fucking really good, but the shine was off the apple and I love the job I do more! it just took twenty years to get to the good bit! the wife would love me to go back to it, but I'm not as dumb as I look it's a younger person's game now, someone up with technology skills (so not me) and can multi task (again so not me) I like doing my blogs and the occasional book, ask me to write a song now would be like pulling a tooth using an egg whisk.....nigh on impossible, so don't live in the past live for today as tomorrow may never come, there I can still write like the old days and there is the potential for at least another two to follow on not morose (although it bloody well should be) hopefully a witty (WTF) take on a time long long ago, so watch the skies for the next thrilling episode of..........Toodles!
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