Sunday, 11 September 2016

Leave a scar




So it’s a historical one you want, it’s a historical one you shall have, are you sitting comfortably then I will begin.

I have written many words regarding my brief sojourn in the music industry, within this blog and the last one in books as well, let’s hope I don’t trip over the scars of the written word of old.

I had been writing songs with friends since the age of 14 and I will be naming them over the course of this and many other blogs to come, I had a knack for penning a word or two, I also was pretty good at rewriting other people’s mistakes, some people were pure genius at writing music and melodies but could barely string two words together, I had got my start after witnessing a friends (soon to be my) friends band in Witton Gilbert club and I laughed at the naïve lyrics about a certain Lucinda sitting by a window, the amount of law suits that could have stemmed from that one song would have ham strung the individuals careers for years, the song was originally called The Knight Of La Maar, very Michael Moorcock, simply because he had written stories about said Knight, I thought I was going to get stabbed because I was howling in derision at the faux paus, I was asked if I thought I could do better, “hell yeah” was my reply, 17 sets of different lyrics 7 days later and all of them promptly rejected, however with some discussion bits from various sets soon formed into a 7 minute wonder called Crusader, with a very Diamond Head with Yngwie J Malmsteen on guitar kind of feel, it had something and it’s the one song I wish I had a copy of because it left a scar that remains to this day!

My (musical) friends then realised I could work at a voracious rate, sometimes up to ten sets of lyrics a week, for various people in different styles of rock, although I did do a number of songs in a “pop” style, now I’m not going to say they were all brilliant, they weren’t, simply the amount of songs that came off my assembly line should indicate that quality did sometimes suffer, but for a jobbing writer they were pretty damn good, I always found the longer I worked on the lyric the more I was unhappy with it, I soon wrote for a group of friends, Mainly John Case and Steve Ridley (more of John Case to come in future blogs) we were simply machines mainly writing as a threesome we soon settled into a tried and trusted formula, still the best people who I ever wrote with, we had an understanding and a short hand that only we got, others would just shake their head at the speed we worked, thankfully between the three of us our quality control was always set to the “highest” mark we could attain.

Mike Cooke thought he was Mr Blackmore and was doing Yngwie impersonation’s long before Yngwie had even released anything, a phenomenal talent but couldn’t write a song to save his life, however he could take somebody else’s music and blow it out of the water, he signed to Atlantic records back in 1982, I believe they are still waiting for his debut album, a fantastic musician who has over the years worked with and for millions of known artists who he could out play just about anybody simply by using his thumb, thankfully he learnt humility and ended up working and living for Ibanez and then Yamaha in Japan.

Gary Shaw a great talent who again thought he was Gary Moore and couldn’t write a note by himself but pair him with someone and the tunes flowed from him, he was great to work with and nothing was too precious an idea, all things would soon be worked out. Whistle something at Gary even just a simple melody and he could turn it into just about anything, Gary knew what his limits where and he worked within them, Gary did do an album which was released only in Japan, a great side man again for other artists, we used to call him the Duracell Bunny because he would just keep going and going, sadly he’s no longer with us, I still miss him, many a time we would try and get back to our flat in Hammersmith after a night out, good times!

Simon Fox who was a genius on the keyboard, who was always willing to help me out no matter what time of the day, I remember going to a wedding at a stately home where he was playing and he was ejected for playing on an antique harpsichord, and his party piece of imitating other keyboard players style was hilarious Kraftwerk playing Child in Time was a hoot! All of my big ballads were written with Simon’s help.

Phil Craig who I co-wrote every song he ever wrote (and he never held it against me) and his band Satellite who I loved but they had more line-up changes than Uriah Heep, a band who I auditioned for myself simply to help them out, when their regular singer (and another song writing collaborator Steve Newton) was out with a serious throat operation, I did 4 weeks of rehearsals then a full dress rehearsal (which was videoed and I didn’t know until the lights went up, along with a group of friends sitting quietly as I did my stage raps as though I was playing Madison Square gardens, mortified me you could say that , and they did often) with mini ramps and lights and stuff, (oh dear I hope that never sees the light of day, I’m still cringing to this day) I enjoyed every single minute of it but thankfully Steve Newton returned to save the day, it was at this point I knew I should stick to writing lyrics, although I did try again with several other friends bands, bands who were starting out at the bottom of the ladder to where my particular vocal talents were deserved,  again I can remember some auditions were I would go off into incomprehensible Prog rock lyrics, I should have been horse whipped ah bless, Phil was a great foil to write with, but to me it was simply a poor man’s UFO and he could never see that, mind you he did pay on time so I never complained .

Tom Willis was just a monster on bass but could the best doom laden riffs he developed his own studio in Canterbury after getting turned down by Black Sabbath at the time they were recording the Headless Cross album. I knew so many people who were so talented and made a brilliant living in the music industry they just never made that big step to the next level, mind you some didn’t want to!

These are just some of the friends that I wrote with on a regular basis, these are the people who helped get me my first publishing deal just as I joined the army, they must have realised I was destined for other things as they kept the faith, shepherding me to follow them to down to London and sharing that flat in Hammersmith that was a palace for all who lived(dossed) there with a fab landlord, we knew we had landed on our feet, so we treated the place like a palace and as a consequence lived there very cheaply on and off for three years. We were young lads; well I was, as I was a good three or four years younger than them, many tales of drunkenness and thankfully not many of debauchery, we were well mannered and well liked in the street were we lived, the local restaurants loved us, as we all had expense accounts and we could entertain at least once a week and claim it back, so we were well fed, not like some of the people I know who went to the big smoke and ended up in Croydon and they suffered for their art, do the crime do the time (where I would end eventually), I worked plenty but there was always some down time, sometimes I temped for per diems at record companies, I rarely went hungry, there was always the promo copies that we all used to sell.

The three years were a blur if I’m honest, good times and gigs, an extended kind of family that I wasn’t really used to, these people also bore the brunt of my early dark years after coming out of the army and they held me together with love as opposed to brown paper and string. Very rarely was there a time a time when we didn’t or couldn’t get tickets to go and see who ever we wanted, Bryan Adams supporting Tina Turner, we did all 14 nights and never got to see Tina Turner once, the time I begged for some tickets to see one Stevie Wonder gig, only to be told not to bug this person anymore, only to bug them (like they said I would) for the other 5 nights LOL!

The Jaunts back north were often and I still kept in touch with my friends and family, then the dreaded females crept into the picture and then that’s when some of us started to fragment, my first wife didn’t like my working lifestyle (but loved the lifestyle and the money that came with it) she didn’t stick around too long once my musical life came to a crashing halt, but she only whinged at me and not my friends who individually she liked she thought we were a pack of arseholes when we all got together “I beg your pardon how very dare you! (I resemble that remark) a long time ago and many of the Dawn Patrol have fallen behind away from the streetlights, gone but not forgotten.

Do I miss it hell yeah I do, but thirty years down the line, I wouldn’t have lasted much longer for reasons that I will elaborate in future blogs, my time was done and I was starting to wish that I could write epics in the style of Fish, which I couldn’t, and I was getting frustrated with my inability to write a classic, ho hum me have an ego, no not really, I was simply trying to be cleverer than I thought I was. The amount of distance is bound to make me nostalgic for the good times, but life has moved on, I probably couldn’t write a decent lyric if my life depended on it, you have to know which battles or even wars to fight and win, my day was done, I don’t have the hair or the waistline to contemplate a return, I enjoyed what I did and what I had. Let’s move on gracefully, yes lets!

So this is the basis of the next few blogs I need to do a bit of research so that I simply do not repeat what I have written before (my head is a shed ………..full of shit) in blogs or the books, having said that not everybody got the books so I might recycle depending on the demand from some of the books although they will be altered so as not just to be lifted directly from the original text(sorry Dave) remastered is the term that the record companies use, so I hope that this fits the bill, numbers are roughly the same so there could be another one in about three or four days, so watch the skies, incoming , but until then Toodles!

Sunday, 4 September 2016

Now Hear This ..................Part 2.


Now here is how this works, I have been getting shit loads of questions from you the discerning reader, this is the second part, I have been tweaking this blog for weeks, time to stop sodding around and get the bugger posted, so here we go with various questions from various peeps, no names no pack drill! There are only 19 questions as I removed one as it was way too personal and the answer was way too damn bleak, we will save that for a later time altogether.

You just want to be a celebrity?

Erm fuck no, I started blogging as a form of anger management, I don’t make any money at it, I actually do it because I enjoy it, I’m not expecting to win any prizes I’m kind of surprised that you lot still read it!

Health seems to creep up quite a lot?

I will admit to being (at the moment) a poorly person, but I am doing all I can to make myself better, that’s all I can do, it’s a slow process and I’m not kidding myself, the damage done is quite severe, but with the help of friends and family I intend to beat these maladies and go on to be a better stronger person (here’s hoping) it’s my health that is slowing the writing process down because some nights I am just not physically or mentally able to write anything, my health comes before the blog, I have realised that, but the blog also helps me with my health so will just have to potter on when we can.

Music again?

It will always be based on or around music I’m obsessed with it, it starts my waking hour, I travel to work with it, if I can play music through the day I will, I travel home with it, and I sit at my laptop listening to it at night time, if I lived on my own I wouldn’t own a TV just a bloody expensive music centre!

What is your drive for life?

I got asked this question nearly a dozen times, virtually word for word, I did a bit of cyber stalking just to make sure it wasn’t just the same (nutcase) reader, it wasn’t, it appears there’s loads of you, I have no idea, if I did I would probably try and fix it, make it better lol I have no answer I tend to just take one day at a time, I like to remind myself I am an 18-year-old with over 30 years’ worth of experience, if I ever find out you lot will be the first to know.

Why do you feel the need to constantly rebuild the blog?

I like to tinker I like to try and make it better and yes sometimes I fiddle and have good intentions, sometimes I listen to what others say (not very often) as usually that’s when I start second guessing myself and it all goes horribly wrong, I soon revert too normal and again just potter on!

You mention your wife a lot are you trying to score points?

Hell no, just giving credit where credit is due, I function within this world mainly due to my wife, now it’s not always rosy in the garden and we have our ups and downs like anybody else, but if I could do anything for the wife I would, if its within my earthly grasp I would gladly do it for her, just sometimes though I wish she would listen to me because I’m not as daft as I look.


We want more Books?

I would love to do more books, however as I keep explaining I am cack handed with technology and Blurb books is not as user friendly as it once was, as I have explained in the past I feel (don’t we all) as though I have a great story within me, I have the characters, I have the plot I have a killer twist and I even had someone who was going to be my editor, but that plan was thwarted when E had her stroke and I will admit here and now that my heart isn’t in it, however the better I get the more the urge returns, so don’t give up hope because I certainly haven’t!

What are your ambitions?

Just to get through each day as it comes, I have no great plan, well not while I have to work for a living, it takes me all my time to concentrate on that, however as always there a number of cunning plans, which sometimes come to fruition but then again sometimes they don’t, we have to keep my powder dry, again as always as soon as I know you lot will know.

What’s happening?

Sod all, this is the second most asked question, life is not always a bowl of cherries, as I have just stated my health is my number one concern at the moment, I don’t have a white board with plans a hatching! This shit literally just pops up, again when it does you lot really are the first to know, my wife usually walks behind me shaking her head!

Do I have many Readers/Fans?

Erm I have no idea, I’m a tad concerned if I have “fans” I prefer to think of them as readers, and it varies, always less during the summer but it’s always three digits these days some higher than others, the previous blog used to hit four digits nearly all the time, I still write the same so maybe the site is more selective in who it lets read it, again I’m thick, I just go with the flow.

People?

Without interaction there is no blog, as I get older I love to people watch, and hopefully as I get older the blogs will get better, I know they are quite self-centred at the moment, I am trying to shift the direction just a little bit, but it’s not going to happen overnight, hopefully when it does it won’t be so noticeable, baby steps boys and girls baby steps.

Do you feel old?

Hell yeah sometimes I do, but other times (usually the good times) I still feel like that kid I was before I joined Her Majesty’s Armed Forces, I feel better these days than I have in the past, but yeah sometimes I feel like an old man. I would add as a post script that I feel more old fashioned than I do old, it’s hard to quantify it any other way than that.

What do I miss?

Old friends, and family members, I feel I have a few blogs in me regarding the old times (Mr Robinson is going to get his wish) but that’s about it, the past is the past, if we choose to live there we don’t live our lives, I have wasted far too long in the past it’s time to move forward, its best for all concerned both family and friends.

Onwards?

Possibly the most commented blog of late, I did it as an afterthought, it was no less thought through, but I did it to let the wife know how much I love her (oh dear I have said it again) and numbers wise it was triple digits within 24 hours which is rare, it must have touched a nerve both good ways and bad, some didn’t care for it, as always I write for me so if you have a complaint, I might read it I rarely take notice, constructive criticism I have no issues with, petty minded fuckwits can jog on ……….ooops I did it again (no Nils the name game is not in play for this one).

What drives you?  

Again this was asked a number of times and although I feel I have (I think) answered this, it keeps floating back into view, I really do wish I had more drive! I am envious of people who have this ability, me I just bimble from day to day. Also please see question number 4 of today’s blog!

Numbers?

Yes, I am obsessed with numbers simply because I have no idea what makes a great blog, the number one blog is “We Rock” it had over 500 hits inside three hours (WTF) I have no idea why it took off, it just did the next closest was the death of a close family member it may have taken longer to get there but its only 50 or so read behind the number one, maybe if I ever work it out the blog will not work, of course I would be lying if I said I didn’t want the blog to be successful, I do , I just don’t know how to do that!

Future times?

I really have no idea  what the future holds, I have many cunning plans, but no direct direction as to what these cunning plans are, I will continue as long as people read the blogs even if I go back to single digits (I need to be careful of what I wish for) I would like to get away from the name game in the title as it really is just a handful of people doing it these days, I will say that hopefully by next week I hope to have a rather large blog regarding some of my time in the music industry (warts and all) ready to be published.

Why do you always finish off with Toodles?

It something I have said since I was a kid, somehow it got tagged to the end of the blogs like a catch phrase, its non-threatening and I kind of like it.

Will there be more Now Hear This Blogs?

Probably, but not for the foreseeable future, keep sending your questions in I will stock pile them for later times, they seem to come in a glut and usually all about the same themes, let’s see what the tides brings to our shore!

So that’s that I hope you all enjoyed it, this should have been posted last week, but certain health issues came into play, hopefully the keel has been righted and soon there will be a steady flow of (nonsense) blogs coming your way, thank you for all of your comments kind or otherwise, keep spreading the disease until the next time ……………. Toodles!

Saturday, 27 August 2016

Onwards

This is not the blog I have been working on, this is just a brief note, a stay of execution you could say, so that I can tell the world that I love my wife, we have been together 25 years and we have been through some good and some bad times but we have always been there for each other, sometimes high sometimes low, we argue, we bitch, we moan but guess what we still love each other.

I know I have been a milestone these last couple of years and sometimes you would rather cry than smile, but you always have picked me up and this my way of being thankful,a small way of saying I will be there to pick you up, even when people let you down, you know I will be there for you, (actually that probably isn't helping) but you know what I mean.

I promise I will always do my best for you and our children and our grandchildren hell even the Kraken, I feel as though I have dragged you away from a mainstream population, but I promise I will do everything in my power to make things better.............Cliché

The next blog should be here on Monday depends on how I feel when I get up, and so as always ......onwards until the next time ............Toodles!

And yes the name game is in play!

Sunday, 21 August 2016

Telephone Line


Did I mention that the wife broke her phone, did I mention that she had to use mine for seven days and that she used it more in seven days then I had in an entire two years, we were counting down to getting a new phone, I was contemplating simply using my works phone but that would have meant that I was connected to work 24/7 365days and the wife wasn’t happy about that, neither was I, if I’m being honest, I don’t converse with a lot of people not sure why I simply don’t, I have a lot of friends I don’t think I’m very much a talker (unless you set me off about music) I only have a mobile so the wife can check up on me for 24 hours (sins of the previous husband) hey ho if that what she needs to do (get a life Mrs).

So anyway she drops her phone and the phone splits from the corner (oops) she then turns into the Pyscho bitch from hell it’s as if she has had her hand chopped off as well as her ear ripped from head (good god woman it’s just a phone) I thought she was a member of the Borg Collective, resistance was futile, after a healthy dose of Valium, I explained she could actually use mine, this brought her off the ceiling, we were going to have to call an exorcist after all.

We then went through seven days of hell, even though she had my phone and boy did she use it I checked the log, she damn nearly melted the battery (LOL) maybe that’s why I have so many issues, it’s good to talk, we spent seven days checking what she wanted, as always she wanted to be like the sheep and have a Banana (work it out I won’t advertise for them)  looking at all the packages all the deals, twisting her insides to pulp worrying over her deal, I took all of two minutes, nothing wrong with the phone I had after two years, just that’s the nature of the beast, I was downsizing my package to keep the wife as close to her package as possible, I was also going with a Microsoft phone similar to what I have for work possibly the best phone I have ever had, mind you I am a luddite, but you already knew that.

The wife and daughter turn up at the allotted time we go to the shop, I thought the wife was going to burst into tears she was so happy, I actually got the better deal because the actual phone I wanted wasn’t available online (where I was doing my reconnaissance for the new deal) in the shop the helpful chap said ah we don’t do that line online but we do in store, a result for a change, I’m so lucky I would fall into a barrel of nipples and I would come out sucking a thumb!

So here we are six days after the event and the wife is still seventh heaven, me I’m ok but at the end of the day it’s just a phone, I thought I would do a little blog as I’m working up to do something epic and its taking a little longer than I thought and Now Hear This 2 has to come first, the wife’s at work all day so today shall be music and reading along with a small number of chores I have a hell hound at my feet a shit load of reading materials and a boat load of music. for me that’s a good day I know I ain’t going outside but hey ho one step at a time right? So until next time watch the skies and keep spreading the disease………...Toodles

Monday, 15 August 2016

Don't Fear The Reaper




So here we are day one after seven days of hell, I think I was supposed to wake up happy, guess what I didn’t, I do think however that I did put a brave enough face on, as the wife didn’t beat me about the head and shoulders. The wife was working for most of the week (although not today) so I could feel that this was going to be another week of hatred self-loathing and generally wishing for oblivion. I trudged through the day doing general tasks, stuff that I would normally do, stuff that I have no issue with, the issue was me.  The wife returned from her hunting expedition (Monday is shopping day) and I generally just hid in the darkness of the back room I didn’t do any of the things I intended to do, when it was time to walk up the wooden hill at the end of the night I did so with general misery seeping through my bones. The wife then breaking her phone and then going into strop mode didn’t help my general hate the world mood!

Day two I awoke and to my astonishment I was kind of happy…….OK I mean in my bones I wanted to stay angry, but it simply wasn’t in me, my mood improved after I had some breakfast, did a good deed and took the youngest off on the start of her holiday away from us, I read a little I watched the news a little (I devour the news when I’m off) and generally continued on with my small chores, I ate some more but then the world went all skewwhiff on me, I was asked to go and pay a bill, by myself , all alone, I was thrown from a moving vehicle and I rolled into the post office right into the queue with the old dears, damn I even had cold hard cash in my hand, to pay a bill, I could have gone ballistic in Barry’s Bargains (please don’t ask) I stood my ground and did as I was asked and then ambled back home still in a reasonable mood, how was this happening especially after the doom laden Monday, I have no idea.

 Day three I awoke to sunlight and again surprisingly more general happiness, not wanting to break into song happiness, not wanting to skip down the street, but kind of ok with myself (WTF)  again I was given another task to complete straight away I went back into grumpy mode, but in reality it was all a show , I got on with the job in hand and then just got back on with the day in hand read a little watched a little and then ate a little something and it wasn’t head buried in the fridge eating crap type of eating it was healthy and at proper meal times, I was starting to worry.

Day four was meant to be a joyous time, I had been tipped the wink about a great little farm shop in the area, so we had agreed that I would take the wife out on her one day off for breakfast and a waltz around the farmyard, I had done all of the reconnaissance, the one thing I couldn’t find was prices (not a good sign) I just didn’t want to turn up like tramp begging cup in hand and having to use my card to hide my financial embarrassment, yup you guessed it I had to use the card it was lovely , it just wasn’t cheap, again I’m not complaining its very rare that me and the wife do this kind of thing, it was a nice change, she even got to see the little piggy’s in the sty, of course I killed the mood when wondered out loud “wonder which is next for breakfast” then a jaunt around the local country roads which confirmed to the wife she is married to a country bumpkin, the rest of the day was more of the same, reading a little, watching a little and definitely eating some more, happiness levels were at around 40 - 45% which for me is pretty damn good.

Friday came and gathered pace but I wasn’t done in the dumps, and that shocked me, I even tried to tempt myself into misery I simply couldn’t do it damn what the hell is wrong with me, we picked the daughter up from her jolly jaunt and soon we all ensconced into our happy little home.

Saturday unfortunately turned up with a bog black dog something I wasn’t happy to see, that Black dog showed no mercy and Saturday I was back to being Mr Misery, no change there then but it was something I wasn’t expecting, even the start of the football season couldn’t cheer me up I had to wait 48 minutes until Charlie Nicholas said “Situation” (again don’t ask unless you are sad and really want to know). The day dragged on and even the arrival for a visit from the Hurricane did little to raise my spirits although I do try a little harder when he’s here, he’s too young to know how shit life is when you get older (although after the hand he has been dealt with I think he already knows) once more I was glad to be climbing the wooden hill.

Sunday I opened one eye in the vain hope that there would be no black dog, thankfully there wasn’t, there must have been some kind of residue as the wife was concerned enough to ask me if I was alright, and she wanted to enjoy her day off with her melancholy husband, once the Hurricane had been returned home and the Kraken had had some face time the wife decided that because we weren’t doing a good deed for the youngest (plans change on a minute to minute basis with her) she would treat me to lunch! We opted for our local spoons and the wife got an alcoholic drink for a change, me I went for lime & soda, I suffered for it soon afterwards, we had forgotten that spoons don’t do a traditional Sunday dinner and there was over a dozen places to go but that meant taking the car, so we tucked into steak and kidney pie with chips and peas and it was quite lovely, as always me time with the wife makes me that little bit happier.

Arriving home and declaring to the world that I intended to blog as the Lime from the lime and soda went through me like a freight train (I like it strong but I think there might have only two or three drops of actual soda water in the glass) I spent the rest of the afternoon being reminded exactly what my arse is actually for, thankfully by early evening it had died down but I felt like a shot puppy for the rest of the day and was glad yet again to hit the hay.

This morning I woke up kicking myself that the blog hadn’t been done and that I hadn’t won the lottery so that meant I had to go to work, thankfully the wife was getting her new phone tonight and hopefully that will make her once again (I doubt that……..coming dear). So that’s the blog and it wasn’t the ball of misery I thought it was going to be, I’m generally miserable because we are living on the bare bones of our pants (I know do the crime do the time) but I don’t work as hard as what I do, just to get as little as what I actually get, the wage is ok it’s the paying of bills and buying food that I’m not exactly happy about, my next holiday and I’m determined not to be writing another blog of general unhappiness and being stuck in the house I want at least one out of body experience, so until next time ……Toodles!

Monday, 8 August 2016

Doctor Doctor


Another week rolled into town and as always with a week from hell (7days in a row) things soon turned too poop, things that technically were out of my hands, but shit has to roll downhill and this time it stopped at my front door!

Because work (for once) was so crap I’m simply going to try and forget it I now have seven days leave, I intend to try and relax (yes I know virtually impossible with my posse) right in the middle of last week I had a hospital appointment, I think it’s that particular day that I will try and describe, not a particularly good day but better than the rest.

I had gone to my doctor with an issue (non diabetes related) and he had prescribed some medication and it worked, simply cleared up the issue, woo hoo I hear you all cry, I knew it wasn’t meant to be a permanent fix but hey ho with everything else in my line of sight it was soon forgotten about, take the tablet issue has gone……. well not quite! Earlier in the year it reared its ugly (and allegedly it is very ugly) head again, so off I went expecting to have my dosage upped, however the doctor I saw was the one who had been missing my diabetes for eight years, so instead of just upping the dose, “I want some tests done” he declared! Now I wasn’t happy at all.

We waited (me and my wife who is my social secretary and the person who deals with all of my appointments and social gatherings) and a letter finally arrived giving us a choice of 4 places to attend one being over 30 miles at one end of the spectrum with another one being literally a mile from my door (you can see where this heading can’t you) yes that’s right even though I requested the closest hospital they sent me to the furthest, I then unleased my mini kraken (the wife) and thankfully got the appointment that I required, although I was put to the back of the queue and made to wait 8 weeks, the day finally came and I left work to head back to Gimpsville to arrive on time for my appointment, with a cascade of crap going on around me I knew what was coming but I was grateful of the reprise.

I managed to get home earlier than expected a quick wash and a change I checked the time table for my preferred plague carrier of the day I had a choice get there really early or get there just on time I opted for the earlier option, seven minutes later I am walking through the doors of the hospital, directed to a huge waiting area within seconds I was whisked away to another smaller area, where  upon I had the usual little things done (Weight Height etc) and then I waited, and then waited some more, all the while watching as all of the staff did sponsored walks, have you ever noticed how all of the staff just walk in circles they must cover miles, there was a guy who must have been a porter and holy crap he was of Olympic standard. Then there was a person who I thought was my doctor who scuttled off and didn’t reappear, however the nursing staff kept on walking and walking.

By now I’m annoyed (because I was early) at the world and everything else, and the little waiting room is starting to fill up, and my paranoid angry head is starting to fill my head with notions of running for it! and the nursing staff kept walking around, sometimes with bits of paper and other pieces of hospital paraphanalia, all the while my paranoia was feeding itself, no back up support I was there by myself and I wanted to get the hell out of dodge, still I waited (the curse of turning up early) punctuality is a disease with me, then the anointed hour was upon us and still no sign of my appointment being called. More staff walking and at this point I really was getting ready to bolt, then I had to put up with “it’s a lovely day isn’t it?”  “no” was the reply to which they reversed course muttering how horrible I was, out of the corer of my eye I saw the person who I thought was the doctor skulking back, late grrr and still I waited, I was watch watching and giving myself just 5 more minutes, then the most handsome doctor in the world walked in and he knew it, if he’s my doctor I was going to blast him for being late, literally I was called soon after to find out it was skulky boy, I won’t go into details I had the appointment and was nearly out the door just as the consultant asked “for a full raft of tests” just to be sure (the bastard) I then got called back for a blood test (with a needle that could have been used in Zulu it was so bloody big) I then trotted (yes you read that right this little piggy trotted)out of the hospital and hopped back onto a plague carrier (empty thankfully) and 7 minutes later I walked through the front door, still wondering why the nurses did all that walking.

The wife returned from work not very well (it was later discovered she hadn’t taken her medication in the morning ……. silly woman) life wasn’t a bowl of cherries at that moment, but I cooked for everybody and we enjoyed a nice meal in our own little way, me brooding over life the universe and everything, the wife in her poorly little ways and the youngest in whatever mood she was in, you can never tell she is so much like me she runs silent and runs deep!

I spent the rest of the night bopping from point to point and not really relaxing, I wrote the salient points of the blog to be worked on over the weekend, I read a little and eventually ended up watching Iron Maiden live at Wacken, back to work the next day and then the weekend which I was dreading simply because I hate dealing with stupid people, thankfully none turned up until I was literally walking out the door, they were given short shrift although it did grumble on when I got home it was nothing to worry about as I did my usual impression of a zombie in a chair!

Today is the start of my 7 days off, the wife is at work for most of it and I can already see that I’m going to fester, broke already at the beginning of the month and certain people don’t seem to care they just keep piling on the pressure, yeah it’s probably best if the wife is at work and the youngest goes off on her little jaunt, I have the seeds of destruction in my pocket, its times like these I used to go walkabout so not to upset anybody, I don’t have that option anymore so I have to suffer the consequences, hopefully I will turn the corner and the black dog will have fucked off, here’s hoping  until the next one Toodles!

Saturday, 30 July 2016

Blind


The blog has gone quiet (again the summer malaise is upon us) numbers are still evident , just slow on the uptake (no not like me) it doesn’t mean that I’m not going to blog, it just means that I’m not going to get upset on the those (damned) numbers, Now Hear This 2 which is planned  should maybe be with us next week , I’m trying to be (too bloody clever for my own good) extra careful  on the questions because I don’t want a repeat of the first session and it’s amazing that some people have sent through the same questions as the last time (Nils I ignored them for a reason and I did answer two so why send the same list?).

Work has been kind this week still busy; I simply took my foot off the gas and kept as low a profile as I could, I again was blind to some people who saw me, but I didn’t see them ( I told you I was blind) but it was nice to have a little chat and even to be questioned on the blog as it would appear they both read the bloody thing (WTF) word does spread, Wednesday I was off , my usual  appointment to have my eyeballs photographed for my diabetes, I forgot to take some sunglasses with me, so when I came out I turned into the white Stevie wonder, well ok I can’t sing as well as him and he  has more dress sense!  The day turned into a comedy of errors as the youngest kept walking me off kerbs and then telling me far too late ….”Ooops kerb” what have I done to deserve these trials and tribulations?

A nice lovely meal (although the chicken was as dry as boot leather) it was still good to get out and about with the family, the day in reality was a welcome break in mid-week. Back to work on the Thursday, tipping the wife out of bed to get me there slightly early, as I had a training course to rewrite (for the specific audience) literally 30 minutes before they arrived, thankfully all went well, and to a responsive audience. The day continued on in a good mood until I had to leave, then I had to endure a pack of rats that were being thrown out of my place of work, which plague carrier did they get on, yes you guessed it mine, thankfully they weren’t too bad and they only stayed on a for less than half of the journey. I had made a rookie mistake in so much that I had not taken my MP3 player so I had to endure the sounds of the great unwashed!

The night disappeared quickly as I once again fell asleep in my new throne which I had a premonition that it would help curb these sleep addictive nights, what a surprise I was wrong and yes literally 30 minutes after eating my head is drooping, thankfully I have stopped the drool running from my mouth, but I feel so annoyed (mainly with myself) that I am wasting daylight, as always I have a number of cunning plans, going forward let’s see if they come to fruition. I know I haven’t had enough music in my life something I intend to correct this coming weekend if the hurricane will afford me some time to have a waking moment to myself.

Back to work today and I am in deep meditation mode because people have let us down and the people I am helping feel terrible (no need to) as the arranged it, not a problem I will have revenge when they finally turn up, then it will be a mad scrambled to complete everything that need to be completed by close of play and then some taxing and exploration of Mordor as the wife has to go and work there over the next week, cunning plans and the such like to put into action and then hey ho into a weekend before another seven days of hell!

Mental health training is being offered at work and I have volunteered to be the champion hopefully some of my issues will give me an insight to being able to help others, it’s something I’m actually looking forward to doing. Friday struggled on and if I’m honest it was annoying, annoying tasks, annoying people and me generally starting to fixate and hate people, I was over the moon when the wife rang and said “get your arse in the car, we are out of here” we drove home to collect the youngest to take her to a friend’s birthday party , while we were there the wife opened some post and went atomic, I won’t bore you with the details other than a bill that’s been paid they say we have then they say we haven’t then they say we have it’s all done and dusted we receive a letter to say that it’s done and dusted and then yesterday we receive one that states nope you still owe us a gazillion pounds, thankfully the wife couldn’t get through even though she tried for 30 minutes, maybe it was just as well, hey ho I come downstairs this morning and she’s at it again only to find out that yay they have lost the money, yep that’s right the money we paid into a bank to pay the bill, at least she was calm and level headed and an absolute delight, a lady is going to investigate and ring her back on Monday ………watch this space!

After dropping the daughter off me and the wife decided fish and chips were the order of the day we headed to the best chip shop in Gimpsville and can I just say it was AWESOME! We both sat and ahem cough splutter blinked for long periods of time just in time to go and collect the youngest from the party and drop here off at the krakens, just as well as the kraken was poorly but wasn’t going to tell us, why well that’s just the way she is, again another story for another blog. Back home well after the witching hour and I was so jealous of all the posts on Farcebook of all my friends who had gone to see BOC in London, yes you read that right I so jealous, but in a strange way happy that they had enjoyed themselves.

Once more to climb the wooden hill and it didn’t see more than a blink in the eye before the cock crowed (behave) and we were once again in the land of the living it was then and only then that the wife dropped a bombshell, telling me that I had to go and pick up my own prescription ……wait for it ……….by myself……………...WTF! believe it or not I was indeed shell shocked, I was trying to think of any excuse not to do it, to no avail she swept out of the house to go to work, my dilemma was I now just had to argue with myself, unfortunately I lost, but I was determined to be there and back as quickly as possible three minutes there, one minute at the chemists, three minutes back, hopefully I won’t make eye contact with anybody and I will be safe in my shell in under ten minutes!

I couldn’t win an arse kicking contest versus a one-legged man, I left the house, got to the chemist “ah the Chemist would like a word” why? what for? what have I done? can I leg it before she comes over? all this running through my mind in a split second, too late she asked me to follow her to a little room, panic mode not sure what to do, I was going to leg it but a mum and her stupid triple sized buggy got in the way , can this short fat bearded cripple jump the buggy? Of course I can’t I’m not going to brazil for the Olympics what a moron! then in the room only to be told it was a simple review of my medication to make sure that there’s no side effects (what like rampant paranoia you mean?  where the hell did that come from) once calm I became the cool casual gentleman that everybody thinks that I am (allegedly)I then walk briskly back from the chemists all in 15 minutes, those additional five minutes took years from my life I can tell you!

There’s the blog and that seems to be the mood of the week laid back as much as possible, thank you for all your kind comments and Dave Robinson we have our eye on you being nice to Mick Wall we know your game, oh hang on a second you were very nice about my books as well ooops until the next one, enjoy the summer I think it’s due on a Tuesday this year…………….Toodles!