Thursday, 3 October 2013

Other side of me

I knew it couldn't last, work beckoned and held onto me like a python holds onto its victim, pulling me down, not because of the work just my mood was going down like a setting sun, I was /am determined not to be beaten, onwards was the order of the day, could I actually pull my finger out and do the job?

Monday slid away and the wife picked me up from my late shift, I would have gladly walked home along dark country lanes my mood was shaping up to be a bitch, hopefully externally I was a happy go lucky cheerful chappy (well for me) fed and watered I headed up the wooden hill and was grateful to pull the blanket over my head, Tuesday dawned to the same mood, I am aware that there is so much going on at work that everybody seems to be under pressure so to be moody and bitter would be just be rubbing other peoples noses in it and  that's not really my style!

The day sped away from me and I was soon heading home on a crowded plague carrier and I ended up on a broken seat with my knees in a crippling position, someone somewhere was having a laugh at my expense,once home we sorted out for a little jaunt I had forgotten about, it would just be what I needed to raise my spirits. the wife had many duties to attend to so was probably busier than she needed to be, a sickly compatriot shrunk the party to two, we had some nice grub and a quick pint elsewhere, we headed up the road to the Bodega only for it to be half full of men dressed like Ray Mears (and a couple of women too!)  all ruck sacks and waterproofs....WTF the man himself is only "playing" The Opera House they soon disappeared like grass snakes in a meadow on a summers day ( I tried to get the Survival mood in there.....I know I failed) we finished our one drink and headed to the venue, disaster ....ticket faux paus...thankfully sickly person to the rescue, the wife wasn't in the best of moods I thought she was going to pull the ticket lady through the window....ooops!

Crisis averted we climbed the mountain of stairs into one of the shittiest venues in Newcastle, we got in and into a pleasant position as the support act burst onto the stage and the first song was OK however it soon got grating I could have done the Kiss book of poses in the house if I had wanted to and I spent the first three songs finding out if I hadn't entered a lady boys show I did check for an Adams apple! Clearly a pretty thing and she could play the guitar but Lita Ford did it so much better with actual songs years ago, me thinks some one has a rich boyfriend with some cash to burn, the seven song set was about six songs too long! reckless love were due soon and although I didn't want to stay down the front I couldn't leave the wife down the front in case she had a funny turn (she did but more of that later) the gig wasn't a sell out but was full and while the last time we saw them it was chokka block with the female variety this time there were more blokes than you would find at a Marillion gig! WTF!

The lights dimmed and then the band decided to wait a good fifteen minutes before they hit the stage and then two whirling dervish's (male and female) both pissed stormed through the not so tightly packed crowd and started throwing drink and generally being annoying which (you can see where this is going can't you) was a bad turn for them unfortunately the crowd surged and I couldn't get between them and the wife to which after much tooing and froing the wife got mad (Hulk smash) and I just wasn't quick enough to stop the wife punching said man boy in the head, thankfully the surge took some of the sting out of the punch, which got him mad and was going to turn ugly until he realised the short fat bald guy was with the angry woman and I managed to get between them but it's at this moment I realised how disadvantaged I am my knees were crippling me and my hands were stuck in my pockets because of the crowd with only my elbows to work with I got my message in and thankfully before it got too silly the nearest bouncer was dispatched  and dragged man boy away this still left thunder thighs and she wasn't going without a fight (the venues policy is to remove one person at a time for the safety of their staff) the gig was still going on but by now my mood was into pissed off mode the band were great and the singer is really short sighted or into chubbies as he kept looking me straight in the eyes and smiling (go figure).

Thunder thighs annoyed  for the next half hour thankfully others more then the wife who repeatedly told said young lady to fuck off, I think if she could have got a dig in she would (oops) by this time I was taking serious hits in the back and I was wondering if they had a posse, thankfully it was just the crowd surging and the guy behind me was most apologetic mind you he had seen me and my fancy elbow work and looked shit scared of the wife! finally she annoyed everybody else and she went the way of the man boy! the gig continued and it got better once toot and ploot had been ejected, however after only an hour and twenty minutes they were gone ......!!!!!!! and that was with the encore. I don't mind people having a good time, but I do object to you being pissed abusive and throwing drink around and generally spoiling everybody else's fun (rant over) we headed back to the car and headed back to Gimpsville my knees in serious pain tomorrow was going to be awkward.

The morning came soon enough filled with drizzle and it cheered me up, the plague carrier was on time and the chauffer was even pleasant WTF had I fallen down the rabbit hole or what, I had a training course and as always with me being a luddite I had technology issues which put me on the back foot, I nearly didn't make it and was only saved by my trusty Asperger's soldier as he caught me about to hurl my laptop across the room, then with 12 new starters I was away and the next four hours was a like a rock concert for me and it was probably my best ever course, it was quite interesting to see my boss come to see who kept shouting "HELL YEAH" I like people to participate and if they don't well lets just say they soon get the message, these twelve new souls didn't have a clue what hit them and they left feeling a damn sight better than when they came in, at that moment I loved my job. it didn't take long after the course was over for me to crash and my mood was as black as it had been back in May when I decided to ask for professional help (and still waiting ya cocks!) the day ground on but I left on time.

I knew I had missed the bus  I had intended to get but I had gobbled copious amounts of drugs just to get me there, when over the hill came the Plague carrier surging into view, late but here all the same and it was a double decker so I got to sit and enjoy the journey at a height (see previous blogs/books) and it was raining good clean heavy rain, but my mood was so low, I got home and the wife was there (WTF) to greet me and all I wanted was her to hold me ...which she did and that switched my mood back to the positive (I will not let this beat me) even more so when the new Fish album had turned up .......SWEET!

So the wife made me some food we watched some goggle box and then I decided to pore over said piece of work (awesome 10 out of ten) loving it straight away and I know for a fact that it will only get better with frequent plays! while listening I decided to blog ( I know me with my reputation) I had no intention of what with my mood being so sour, but as I keep repeating, this will not beat me! I am trying so hard to stay positive, what is mind boggling that here we are in October and I have been waiting since May for some form of help, which the false hope of that first step has faded, maybe a killing spree might have got me a cup of tea and some sympathy, the NHS is a marvellous institution but my rope has unravelled and I'm set adrift on an ocean that is not all that inviting! so there you go a cheeky blog hopefully slightly humorous and if the numbers are anything to go by we are back on an upward curve, now to settle back and really try and beat the crap of this dark mood until then I will see you on the other side until then .....Toodles!

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