Man Plans, God Laughs!

 

Honestly this is a Bob free zone!

Do you ever get the feeling that we are just a joke for the amusement for the man upstairs with the big beard, just when you think its all good in the hood, he takes another swing at you, let me explain!

My mother went through some traumatic pregnancies, we found out later although me and my brother were born under strained circumstances, she lost three girls in-between us, she picked herself back up and he laughed!

I was a sickly child for the first five years of my life, lots of medicine for little things and a couple of surgeries, I got back up and he laughed!

My parents got divorced 42 years ago, at a time when it was virtually unheard of, me and my brother took some shit for it (kids can be cruel) we went with the flow then had our revenge when the same kids who gave us shit, got it back in spades and we were the bad people (I still hold a grudge) , I got back up and he laughed!

School was a shit show some people (teachers and pupils alike) liked me some didn’t , I wasn’t the brightest bulb in the box but I wasn’t the dumbest either it might have helped if some of the teachers taught, I was slow (I still am) at maths but the teachers were crap until I got a new teacher in the third year and from being 26^th out of 30^th (I was consistent) this teacher got me to be 5^th out of 30, simply because he took the time to teach me and point me in the right direction, the next year back to the original teacher and straight back to my previous position, , I got back up and he laughed!

I wanted to join the army from the age of five, my whole life it’s what I wanted they were the best days of my life, yes you can see what was coming, medically discharged, with no plan B to fall back on,  , I got back up and he laughed!

I then stumbled by fluke into music, and I had four good years before someone threw in a curve ball, I know if I had been a tad more mature I might have survived this, however I wasn’t so I crapped out again, , I got back up and he laughed!

I got married at the age of 19, this one I don’t blame anybody but myself, I was trying to be a knight in shinning armour, more like a muppet, it was going great until we got it blessed in a church (its out there in the blogs……I think) she wasn’t honest, if she had of been we could have parted as easily as we came together, maybe god did have a hand in it, I got back up and he laughed!

My mother had a run of bad luck health wise, a stroke, and in reality her life dragged on for another 18 years, she never complained, I got bitter towards the church, a blog all in itself , a one for when I wish to vent my spleen, , I got back up and he laughed!

Then for the next five years there seems to have been a kind of truce, it would appear he was picking on somebody else for a change, but I still kept on my toes , just waiting for the shit to happen, maybe that was his plan all along, , I got back up and he laughed!

I got  a job at a shopping centre and I had to put up with a bully, to be honest nothing he did made me mad, I won every time simply because he was stupid, as all bullies are I suppose, I waited 19 years and I nailed him solidly when I became a senior manager and made him work for a living, to be truthful most of the things he did were down right criminal, so again maybe just maybe, I got back up and he laughed!

I met the wife and over the years there were multiple curveballs, which we batted away and kept fighting our way up the hill, far too many to mention in this small missive, some of them have been mentioned in some of the earlier blogs, , I got back up and he laughed!

I discovered blogging and I finally discovered something (and I have no idea why) that made me kind of happy, then I had the redneck infestation, I thought it was all over, death threats and the FBI getting involved, anyhoo we finally got it sorted without me going into witness protection, I got back up and he laughed!

The wife has always had pets, I haven’t, but I have enjoyed the babies we have had over the years, but they have all been cruelly snatched away, , I got back up and he laughed!

I turned 40 and then my body started to drop to bits, and it’s the longest amount of suffering,  I was reasonably fit, were as now I’m reasonably fat (whoops) I’m not as big as I was but I seem to be stuck at 17 stone, no wonder my knees are goosed, , I got back up and he laughed!

Friends have come and gone I rarely and I mean rarely see any of the people who were a big part of the first 26  years of my life, no falling out just we drifted, but on the plus side I have some lovely new (well for the past 32 years) friends and we both do miss them all dearly, but we have cunning plans going forward, , I got back up and he laughed!

Bad luck does seem to habit of following me around, I know there’s a song in there somewhere, as I get older I seem to be taking it in my stride, sometimes, but things seem to be consistently going wrong, I got back up and he laughed!

We lost a grandson to cancer that was a shit time, again religious nuts who I worked with avoided me as they knew how bad I would have raged at them, “its gods way” bollocks he’s up there with Rolf and Jimmy then , I got back up and he laughed!

My walking is suffering, today I have walked 21000 steps, tomorrow I will suffer, even  the little task of trying to catch a bus, something when I was fit wasn’t an issue, now I shake my head and sometimes I want to be angry, but I do my best to simply go with the flow, , I got back up and he laughed!

This isn’t about being mad at the world and everything, I was simply sat on the bus this morning and I didn’t want to lose the thread, and the thought popped into my brain, and it percolated all day so much that I simply couldn’t wait to put pen to paper, yes I still do put pen to paper simply so that what flowed through my brain that seems to be fun, I hope this hasn’t been to bad, it was better in my head this morning, I have no idea how it has translated I simply hope its better than how I am reading it now, I’m still standing, I’m not giving up neither is the wife who is still having some weepy moments but she’s getting better with each passing day! Cunning plans are abound, I have booked us a holiday, that’s the new credit card melted, more news on that in the coming weeks, it’s a big holiday, we are getting on the big silver bird, more to come soon!

 The name  game is in play and yes I am in a good place my knees aren’t, but hey ho worse things happen sea, more to come so stay safe, stay alive and spread the word, until the next one ………….Toodles!

The Clock Ticks On.

 

Well, that was a wacky week, the blog outstripped the others of the last few months, I know when I post this it will (probably) kill the last one stone dead, I can live with that, its been a good kind of week. What I have noticed is that when I post the blog after spending longer proofreading the bloody thing than writing the thing, there are words missing and punctuation is missing, I know I’m old, but I do know how to write in “Inglesh” when this one is posted I will be once again proof reading it again and again.

The week has continued to be crap, but I have my big boy pants and I’m simply going to go with the flow, life’s too short to panic about stuff we can’t control, I was going to attempt to get the wife to leave the house tonight, however we have the Hurricane staying with us, that works for us as well, different horses for different courses, its nice to have him around.

I received a surprise in the post, nothing horrific but something I wasn’t expecting, a letter to inform me I was going to be seeing not one specialist but two, its regarding my diabetes, I have promised the wife that I will be trying my best to keep my mouth shut, its not the specialists fault, my issues are with the system not the staff trying their best whilst operating within its strict boundaries!.

Reading has stopped, as I was by myself for the whole week at work, fielding enquiries that you would think educated people would know the answer too. Its quite funny as my boss has to walk away as he knows what I’m implying when I look at the educated fools footwear, I need to see who tied their laces as I know it wasn’t them, bless them, they do indeed walk amongst us!

Thankfully music hasn’t stopped if I’m in the office my headphones are in, on the bus my headphones are in, just about everywhere I go I have music on, boy does it cheer me up, It’s a little difficult in the house, as I don’t wish to leave the wife to her own devices, too much space will ensure that she goes off the track to dark places, I know she is not going to be good overnight, but she is my number one priority, so I shall be doing my dutiful husband tasks as I hopefully bring her back towards the light.

We still haven’t decided on a holiday but we are looking, we have a few possibilities but we need some quality time with each other so we can converse, agree or disagree whichever way I’m happy as long as we are both heading in the same direction, we also have a little dog (an old man) as the wife’s mum’s pooch is settling in with us even though I’m sure he sleeps for 23 hours a day maybe longer, but he’s like a little corporal with his chest puffed as we prepare his food, bright as a button then he eats it and then the little swine goes back to sleep, what a life, oh imagine how jealous I am of the little bugger!

I’m sure we need to insert a day between Saturday and Sunday, just so that we can achieve some of our little “projects” having said that we were able to locate our joiners telephone number and to get him to come and give us a cost for replacing our 60 year old back gate that was suffering more than me, price given, gate fitted, I even managed to get it stained the next day before the deluge that was forecast, two jobs done only another 4376 left to do. The lawyer isn’t helping, I know that she is simply doing her job, but its not helping the wife’s stress levels, we just need to sort out the sale of the house, we aren’t going to see any money out of it as there is debt, about the size of a small third world country, to be honest if it becomes a pain we will simply walk away, let them sort it out we had just about sorted everything out, that will teach us  to be open and honest (never again)as I said before, life is way too short, for all of their drama!

So, some small tasks, babysitting (bless he’s nearly 12) maybe some food and me proof reading this for 9 hours before posting and then seeing even more mistakes after the event! Thank you for the kind words from all of you lovely people, I’m not back 100% but I am getting there, I was determined to get one more blog out before the months end, so here we go 4 days since the last blog and the best-read blog of the year, here is one more missive, hopefully hitting the same heights that will tell me I am on the right track!

So as always onwards stay safe and stay alive, tonight I shall be immersing myself in the 13^th Star remixed box set ( three cd’s and a blue ray disc there’s about 8 hours of music for me to devour!) that has just been released, ordered Monday, I had it by Thursday, work got in the way, so maybe a couple of drinks and an awful lot of Fish (Why Not?), the name game is in play, only three people got the last one, loads of you said Aerosmith, but I did say I wanted the original which was by Joe Perry who is in, yes you guessed it Aerosmith! As we approach God knows how many blogs we are fast approaching 100000 hits for the page, this cheers me up as it means I am doing something right, not all of the time, but I am trying, so until the next time, as always………………………Toodles!

Let the music do the talking…part47!

 

Another day another dollar and now we have a lawyer involved so everything turns to shit and costs money, we were about 99% done and the lawyer stuck their oar in and turned it into a complete cluster fuck! Ah well life goes on …….allegedly!

It would appear that the world and his relatives have gone (to hell in a hand basket) on holiday, how do I know? Well public transport has gone kind of quiet, my knees are doing their level best to give me as much pain as they can (and they hurt) simply because of the distance I walk on a daily basis, but music (as always) soothes the savage beast, since getting the Apple account I seem to be reliving my youth with a substantial amount of the music being played is coming from the period 1975 to 1985, I do listen to “new” music usually by artists I love, but that’s not to say that I dismiss “newer” artists, I do occasionally go down that particular rabbit hole, but its artists from yesteryear (Arthur Askey rocks) and I return to my (cough splutter) youth! My grandson has no idea why I love my music so much, I asked why he loves his games so much, I simply told him Music is to me what his games are to him, it would appear that he got it!

I doubt his love of games will ever hit the intensity that I feel for music , my obsession, for B sides, the artwork, the production teams, the sleeve notes the thrill of opening something new (for my brain to devour). I was so disappointed when had to cancel his latest vinyl re- releases (they looked awesome) due to quality control issues, I have had to contend myself with CD/DVD release of the 13^th star boxset in all its glory. what he should on Farcebook was simply stunning ,I was drooling, fingers crossed it might pop up at some point (fingers crossed) the new remix for 13^th star is stunning and bodes well for upcoming Vigil in the wilderness of mirrors and Internal Exile reissues coming later in the year. I don’t buy anywhere near what I used to splurge on due to the lack of disposable income so I actually have to be selective (I know me with my reputation) if I won the lottery I would out spend Elton John and put his collection to shame! in real life it appears I have to be an adult (boo hoo).

My obsessiveness has also moved onto musical biography’s, hence the last blog(with more to come) it would appear if I’m careful I can get a lot more bargains for my pounds, me thrifty I think so. I have a wish list (don’t panic I won’t bore with it) but I will do more blogs once I have read a few more, just to warn you all………INCOMING!

Musically on the live front, its going to be limited, again purely because of disposable income or lack of it (at the present time) The prices of tickets are simply ludicrous, and the modern way of buying tickets just means  that there will be more rip offs the rich get richer and the artists get fuck all! I’m not a skin flint I will pay to see artists that I like but I wont pay three figures in a shed or a stadium, I only need three more official gigs to hit the 5000 mark I’m not talking pub bands and the such like as that would take it even higher, 4997 is not the number I intend to go out on, I believe I have seen just about everybody on my wish list (and yes I have seen Arthur Askey) but that doesn’t mean that we will not be attending gigs! Its going to be the best way to reintegrate the wife back into the support system that is our friends, we will watch and wait, slowly slowly catchee monkey!

Blog numbers have been good (four figure good) and last month alone the blogs got four times as many hits as normally get, now if only I could get that every month I could retire off to the Maldives……..oops sorry I fell asleep for a second there, its strange whenever we get a big lift like that its always a massive lift!

So as always its onwards, I need to get back to a level I’m happy with and to do it consistently, I was hoping it was going to get easier now that life had given us a kicking (it appears that life’s not finished kicking us just yet) hopefully it should return to some kind of order, its what the wife needs as she has been hit really hard in the last 6 months or so, we have to move on with life (that’s easy for me to say) we have to re-engage with the outside world i know it’s going to be hard, but I will be there to hold her hand for all of the screaming and the tears, as she has stood by me in my dark times, I’m trying to plot a holiday even if its just a short one, as always more cunning plans, so yes onwards!

The name game is in play but let’s have the original artist and not the remake he made with that band, try not to google it as it is kind of easy!

So that’s it for this missive I hope it hits the mark like the others seem to have, so stay safe and stay alive and play tons of music , until the next time……..Toodles!

Four on the Floor – Books – Volume 1.

And now for something just a little bit different!

I will read a musical biography; I don’t care even if it’s the Spice Girls individual missives I do like a historical musical book so here is the last 4 that I have read!.

Into the void – Geezer Butler – 6/10.

An easy read (under 5 hours) but it didn’t really go into tons of details, there was nothing that I didn’t know, apart from his early life before Sabbath, I don’t dislike it, but a bit more detail would have been good, I would like to have seen what the publisher actually cut out that might have been juicer!

Lonely Boy – Steve Jones – 3/10.

God this was boring again an easy read and started off quite well, but it basically repeated itself, bless me I’m thick, I was abused, I stole , I became an addict with everything! And then repeat, again quite crap on the details it started off really well and then well let’s just say this has been the biggest disappointment of the year, like school he could do better!

The Storyteller – Dave Grohl – 8/10.

I like the man, not a huge fan of any bands he’s played in, I could listen to his greatest hits no problem, but I do like his passion, and he comes across really well, lots of details, you can tell he’s a fan of music and he has actually put some effort into this, if you like these kind of biographies I do recommend this book!

For Facts Sake – Bob Daisley – 9.5/10.

No matter what I read for the rest of the year this is the book for me, to be honest I have been trying to get a copy for the last couple of years, but it always seems to be sold out, well I have it, and its Fab, simply crammed with tons of info cracking pictures and loads of stuff I kind of knew but this gives all the gory details, not salacious jut the actual facts, I can’t recommend it highly enough, why the reduction in the score well he’s a David Icke fan and has been involved with Scientology for some courses, I don’t mind either whatever floats your boat, however having read a number of books from both sides of these particular fences well let’s just say as a person who I have met the man and he is a lovely chap I just don’t care for his reading choices, but this for me definitely book of the year!

So, there you go a short missive as I get my life back into gear, something coming down the track again soon, until then ……….Toodles!

Where Have All The Good Times Gone!

And just like that the deed was done, the Kraken passed (God Save The Kraken)  it came so quickly but it as always comes as a shock, I was able to be by the wife’s side in just over 15 minutes thanks to my fave bus driver who literally just drove me there, if she had actually gone down the street it would have been called a taxi! Another tale for another blog.

The family gathered they said their goodbyes (in truth said so many times in the weeks before) and the wife was so much better than I thought she would be, I was the shoulder to cry on, and there were tears, theirs was a symbiotic relationship that even after thirty plus years I could never figure out, through the good times and the bad the woman was a constant, she didn’t get me, simply because I’m not like others I cant be bought or swayed no matter what people try to do, she didn’t get me, we were both fine with it. She knew I loved her daughter and I think that’s all that mattered.

I was glad to have the wife home even in her saddened state of mind, we also had a new passenger the Krakens little dog, an old man who was just as poorly but we swept him off to the vets and all was good with the world, he is brighter with each passing day, he’s still hasn’t a clue with what’s going on, but we are spoiling him and its nice just to have a dog chuntering on in the background!

We have many mountains to climb, thankfully my sister in law has been involved with close relatives deaths (figuratively speaking she’s not related to Fred West) in the last couple of years, so has been a huge help in wading through the minutia that goes with the process, there has only been once company that’s been a pain, but its better than expected, The only major bump in the road is our solicitor who has recently been diagnosed with Dementia which is causing his law firm major issues, hopefully they will get it sorted sooner rather than later.

The main issue is now trying to reintegrate the wife back into what most people call life, Hence the title of the blog (and yes the name game is in play)  it will be a slow process, but you will start seeing us just that little bit more out in the street of life, that is the plan, I thought it was just me, but it turns out the wife has retreated much more than me, the most painful I think I have seen is when the wife went to phone her mam, something she did everyday multiple times, the tears were heartbreaking.

So that’s it, normal service will (hopefully/allegedly delete as you consider) resume in the next couple of days, allegedly, I have a number of ideas percolating, there will be a few Four on the Floor blogs just to get away from the darkness that the last couple of blogs have been, many people go through this its nothing new but when it happens to you nobody is ever prepared for it, many thanks to everybody for the kind words, strangers in the darkness reaching out across the world, thank you, than you, Thank you! So now onto the next adventure and hopefully we will see old and new friends along the way, until then we will travel along the way and wish you all well, until then……Toodles!

Castleside.

This is a kind of historical blog, not really the kind of historical musical one that some of you crave it does start with a musical start but it doesn’t stay, bear with me, here goes. About 40ish years ago I sang for a friends band in Durham, nothing serious just for fun we would take songs we liked and, to be honest we bastardised them, think of a song with a destination in its title we would just make it fit to our locale, little changes we were usually pissed and we all picked a song each, I wasn’t there often so I only got one song, and I chose Abilene a B side by Yes, me obscure hell yeah!

 Something's goin' on, I don't know what it is

But my phone just rang and I didn't get no call

No call, just waiting here

Castleside, it's got a lot of what you don't need

It's got lots of space, still nothing seems misplaced

You've got a face, you are spacey….

Now nothing major simply, the location, but hey I was a teenager and a Yes fan! We had fun and drink was usually in play.

What has brought this to my mind, well and this is why its not really a historical blog, The Kraken is coming to the end of her life and the wife has been by her side every step of the way, I have stayed away so that her mum has had some dignity, I have been there when called upon, but now we are getting to the business end of life and the wife needs some moral support so I have been heading over after work to give a couple of hours support, the kids have been in attendance and its going slowly, the end is in sight but when exactly only the Kraken has the answer and she’s not telling, we have had some testing times over the years, but there has been mutual respect and a cease fire for a longtime I think she realised I love her daughter and I wasn’t a waster, and though I didn’t always  agree with the support she offered but it was always done with the family’s best interest at heart!

What has this got to do with the title, well its where the Kraken lives, and it’s a big part of my young life, I went to school close to it, I dated girls (yes real girls) in the summer I hung around the countryside, I had a lot of friends in the area, I liked the place, I still do, I wish I could afford to live there, I can’t so I will go with my memories, sometimes I get the bus home, the bus route has so many happy memories, friends houses, seeing older people who I didn’t know personally but I “knew” them and its been good to see them, especially when I realise they are probably only 6 or 7 years older than me WTF!

My old school doesn’t exist anymore, it’s been demolished and I had many happy memories, there friends, lessons (yes, I enjoyed school I wasn’t very good, but I enjoyed it) music the list goes on. The bus journey continues into The Grove where my second family lived, as did I as often as I could, and yes, I could write a book on some of the things we got up to, it would be explosive, quite literally! Pass the Club, along to Mutton Clog and back and through the old steel works site yes it glows in my mind, but they were good times with great people, obviously I really must have been a dick because I have so little contact with people I went to school with, sad but true, maybe that’s a blog for down the road, I’m soon brought back to Earth/Gimpsville town centre is full of little cherubs who basically act like scum, a big stick would be so much fun, I despair for the youth of today, I understand that times are hard, they were when we were the same age, but we were simply not as feral as these little brats.

So, over the coming days I shall enjoy my time on the bus being homeward bound, remembering a time when things where so much simpler and better times, to continue to support the woman of my life who has supported me every step of the way, in the time I have been with her. She will need all the help the family can give the hard times start afterwards, when we try and reintegrate back into a life in the big world, after Co Vid and the Kraken’s illness, and reintroduce ourselves to those people we call friends!

So, there you go, slightly historical, I intend to spend some time with some Yes (even now I can’t help myself LOL) not the blog I promised, but although I polished two, I prefer this one over both, that’s not to say that won’t appear soon! So, stay safe stay alive, keep spreading the word someone has done a good job as there over 300 views just yesterday, until the next time be nice it costs nothing……………Toodles!

Something's goin' on, I don't know what it is

But my phone just rang and I didn't get no call

No call, just waiting here

Castleside, it's got a lot of what you don't need

It's got lots of space, still nothing seems misplaced

You've got a face, you are spacey…

Might as well smile.

Yes the name game is in play and no this isn’t a blog about “Bob” I thought I had better make you all aware, as this is a little weird, simply as I didn’t know how to word this one!

As per my health has been weird and to be honest its pissing me off, I am literally trying just about everything I can, to do the right thing (and I know I’m not perfect but I do try) life just seems to be about chaos at the moment, the world keeps turning and it kicks me on the way round, I was at my diabetes clinic appointment earlier this week and I always bounce through the door, putting my best foot forward, a big false grin on my face, this time I didn’t and I think they were shocked, “what’s up”? They asked, and I was honest, told them I’m sick of feeling crap, sick of them simply putting up my medication in the vain hope that it will make me better (guess what it doesn’t) and sick of generally trying to make them happy, its about me not you, like I said they were shocked and not happy but guess what I haven’t been happy with anything you lot have done for me in the 9 years, all nice people but I have done everything that you have asked me to do, to no avail, I’m not a happy camper.

What’s not helping me is my knees and now my hips have joined in to help, by the end of any day I am in agony, I am tempted to turn to drink (I haven’t, but I am tempted) it all rolls itself up in a ball and runs over me, I don’t think the fact that I have been alone in the house since January has helped, but with only small forays from the wife to make sure I haven’t turned our home into a pigsty, small islands of happiness and joy i will take them whenever i get the chance, she is shouldering the burden of looking after her mother as she enters the end of life, I have great admiration for the sterling job she is doing in giving someone at the end of their life dignity and peace, its not good but I am with her every step of the way in the final part of this journey, I know I have a had plenty of differences of opinion with the Kraken on a number of things, but I honestly wouldn’t wish what she is going through on any person!

It would appear I don’t do as well as I thought I would on my own, my get up and go has got up and fucked off, I sit in the dark not wanting to put any lights as I wander through the house like a water buffalo attempting not to graze on all food groups, again I’m trying, I’m not always successful but I do try, it appears to that I have discovered TV  and I veg out in the dark some times festering sometimes not. I am trying to be invested in the house but its hard, I’m not looking for any sympathy, I’m a big boy, I just need to refind the spark, something that will kick me in the seat of the pants in a positive kind of way, I don’t want anybody turning up at my front door offering to do the kicking!

The last blog did well and the others are pottering away, but I need to find the spark that I had at the beginning of the year where I was firing on all six cylinders, I am writing but its dull and uninspired at times the initial ideas I like it’s the execution of that idea that fails in my standards. The next blog will be a four on the floor blog and it will be sooner rather than later (allegedly) honest I just have to pick one of the ones I have done and give it a light polish! I’m missing the wife her mischievous ways, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it comes with a large supply of heartbreak.

So there you go I am trying to be positive, its hard and I’m not helping myself, but “Bob” isn’t anywhere in view so that’s a positive as far as I am concerned, so onwards we go, normal service will resume as soon as I can be normal (yes I know you all think that that is a pretty tall order) so thank you for the kind comments, they are not needed but are appreciated. Watch the skies as the next one will be a tad quicker than this one was, stay safe stay alive and until the next time …………………………Toodles!