Crazy

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in
eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England nor French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find
that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig
is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

 And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
 groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't
 the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
 One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but
 not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all
 but one of them, what do you call it?

 If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
 vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the
 English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally
 insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a
 recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and
 feet that smell?

 How can a slim chance and a fat chance be
 the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to
 marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn
 up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and
in which an alarm goes off by going on.

 English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
 lights are out, they are invisible.

 PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"
 You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .

 There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other
 two-letter word, and that is "UP."

 It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the
 list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a
 meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the
 officers UP for election and why is it UP to the
 secretary to write UP a report ?

 We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP
 the silver; warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP
 the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little
 word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for
 tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one
 thing but to be dressed UP is special.

 And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is
 stopped UP . We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at
 night.
 We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the
 proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized
 dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about
thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a
 list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time,
 but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When
 it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out
 we say it is clearing UP.

 When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

 When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

 We could go on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP, so... Time
 to shut UP.!

can't you tell i'm stuck in the house and bored i should have called this note the work of idle hands .....can i go to work now?

Holiday Blues

Grumpiness is an art form ........allegedly!

Its actually been a while since I have posted anything (productive) and it would appear of late I have been attempting (and failing miserably ) to get in touch with my feelings, so lets go with the flow honestly there is some happiness in here!

It would appear that drink and drugs would be the most commonly used substances (emotional avoidance mechanisms can't you tell I'm undergoing therapy) that are used to mask ones true feelings! Less toxic (although in some cases just as deadly)to perform a similar function are Shopping (what with?) Sex (erm next) Exercise (erm no tried it and look where it got me ) Eating (erm yes) Travelling (yeah right please see the response to shopping) Vegging out in front of the big old goggle box (that's the TV to you lot and erm.....yep guilty) Reading (oh hell yeah....well sort of ish!) Sleeping (now this one really has me worried because it would appear that I'm really good at it) and at the top of the pile.....work (ooops..........guilty) I've only been off seven days and I know I'm going back to 412 emails (and counting) oh dear!

While I've been off, I have done sod all (and that's not what I wanted to do, but I'm claiming life conspired and kicked me in the bollocks or so I feel) I ate a bit (That was always going to be a given) I think I might have put just a little more weight on (nooooooo me with my reputation) I failed my annual blood test (now that is worrying, but I'm sure all will be explained when I go for another next week) I flicked through one or two magazines (of the music variety) tried to order some music stuff (yeah as in buy not steal)from the interwebby and again life conspired against me, but we will give it another go, well after I have calmed down from my strop (four days and counting) and with the help of my youngest I have sorted through about five months worth of mail (that my wife always seems to hide within plain sight) oh and I slept in every single day .....WTF!

I know tons of you have missed me and I have chuckled at some of the messages asking me what has gone wrong and again I ask those of you who needs a translator for English I have a funny feeling Google translate is toying with you, but its keeping me sane from time to time, however like a priest in a confessional all of your secrets  are safe with me(well until I get really bored hahahahaha). music has not soothed the savage beats of late although last night we did travel across the country  to witness Groove Train who were so incredibly (good) tight I thought I was looking at a likeness of my bank balance and hey it was sooooooooooo good, we didn't hang around as we had to get home but it was nice to interact with real human beings. (the less said about that the better)

The rest can wait as I have to admit I'm just not feeling it, I'm still loving it, just not feeling it if you get my drift, I am posting this purely to prove that I have not disappeared off the face of the earth and I really didn't want to post a whole heap of misery as I really am trying to go in a positive direction, I promise I will haul my sorry ass back to the laptop and back to (more positive) writing which in reality is the last emotional avoidance technique left for me to explore..... so until the next time Toodles.....and on a much more disturbing note did you lot know that this year is the thirtieth anniversary for Ghostbusters!..........damn I feel old!

All there is to say

So on the nicest day of the year I retreated as far back into the darkness as best as I could, for what reason…..because I wanted to, I believe I need beaten with a big stick, a week of drudgery at work and me being the happy go lucky person that we all know and love (cough splutter), yes I’m still going for my treatment, but and it’s a big but, it’s my treatment that is (in my humble opinion) making more and more issues than I previously thought I had! I was struggling with what I thought was one problem now it seems it’s got a gang and they are intent on kicking the living shit out of me!

I feel as though I am sabotaging all efforts to stem the tide (I’m told I have unimaginable high standards….must be true, a Dr told me), again simply because I can, I’m not going to go into too many details here (basically because I’m trying to write a book about it……..D’oh!) let’s just say the wife as always deserves a medal. As I sit here typing doing a rain dance and praying for the good weather to go away (I love the rain) I realise that I need to give my head a bloody good shake……..pfft maybe tomorrow!

Blogging hasn’t been the top of the list(go figure) although numbers of previous blogs have gone through the roof again for some reason, so in a sad way it has brought me a little ray of sunshine, but you know that will never last, simple things this week have been the major cause for concern, that and along the gimp mask it looks like I have to have fitted, all of my health issues starting to pile up and here’s me burying my head in the sand like an ostrich, I know life is fast approaching to kick me in my petite rear! It’s like I have at some point driven the car I’m travelling into a wall and have gotten unscratched out and gone looking for another vehicle to go do the same all over again just at a greater speed, (I feel as though I should be in the running for a Darwin award) so I sit here late on a Saturday night welcoming the darkness and before I head up the wooden hill to (stop breathing on a regular basis apparently) sleep, I thought I would let slip the dogs of war and get this out into the ether just to let you know Mr Grumpy is still in residence, but I am walking with all the speed I can muster towards a happier place (allegedly) and for the time being that’s all there is to say on the matter, until the next time ……….Toodles!

A hobby that got out of hand

Ok so I’m not dead as a few people have seen fit to say, I haven’t committed suicide (WTF) won the lottery or any of the more outlandish suggestions that has been sent to me, probably to see if I would react, and to be honest I have realised I blog for me, not for you lot, I’m not a performing seal or monkey (the wife might disagree on that last one) now if you remember what I said at the beginning of the year I was just going to go with the flow, if I had something to write about I would, if I didn’t I wasn’t going to, hells bells you could get thirty four blogs this week, you never know. I have had no life changing momentous epiphany, I have just literally been reading a few books (yeah me with my reputation) and generally just flowing with the go. I was contacted yet again by Farcebook saying that yet again someone had set up an account using my photographs and the such like, urging greater vigilance another reason for not publishing my real name etc on here! I am seriously considering retreating from all forms (see how I feel tomorrow) of social media with the exception of the blog, I have been hacked so many times it’s starting to get annoying, I like making new friends whether I know the individuals personally or not but it’s turning into a drag and I’m wondering that my friends (shhh you know who I am talking about the R word) have caught up with me as they seem to have nothing better to do, maybe I’m just a tad paranoid, but the whole idea of social networking is to be social able (something I’m not renowned for ….but I am trying) what’s the point if you have to have settings set to kill!

The blog well even though I haven’t written anything for a while still has had over 200 views this week, so maybe somewhere down the line I must be doing something right (that’s a first) I had a couple of false starts with a blog earlier on in the week but they were cul de sacs and I’m glad I put myself into reverse because believe it or not I’m on a roll for being (reasonably) happy (honest I am) what have I been up to well let’s see……..

Me and the wife went to have a look at a new house ( I need to rob a bank) the cunning plan never even got us through the first line of Flak we were strafed by fighter cover and shot at by 88’s from the ground (sorry reliving my childhood) we retreated both disillusioned that we were spotting climbing over the fence on the first attempt, I actually took it harder than the wife and went straight into I hate the world mode, which the wife put up (for just a short while) then dragged me off to the birthday party of the lord of the hounds, and although I didn’t drink I pulled myself out of my funk (thank you dear) enough to converse with friends who I love but miss, simply because we hardly travel to see anyone anymore (the world hates us hahaha) we got there fashionably on time (well ok slightly late) but everybody was having a great time (I went as a white Eddie Murphy in Beverly Hills Cop….it was an eighties themed party) there was great costumes but the birthday boy was the one who excelled and won hands down, well done that man. We left around one and headed home in some of the worst fog I had seen in ages. I started to blog the next day but wasn’t feeling the vibe so left my notes to one side and carried on with life the universe and everything else.

The week continued in a similar vein as Saturday morning had and again I kept a low profile, many legal issues to deal with at work (normally not an issue I just wasn’t motivated at all) Monday I was left to my own devices as the wife and the youngest went to McBusted and had a fab time (which I’m so glad for them). I went for my treatment on Wednesday (the new book 17000 words and counting) and encountered things that I had never really considered (feelings ….I mean WTF who invented them) and there was some cracks in the dyke, a long road ahead and something I will cover in the new book not here, let’s just leave it at this exact point in time…….it’s getting interesting!

As usual I come out of the treatment in a funk (emotionally exhausted is the official term) and it’s at this point I really don’t want to converse with anybody never mind the world, however SMOR had been on to the wife and it appears that we were off to see Magnum (damn I feel old I remember seeing them support Blue Oyster Cult sometime 78/79ish) so I went with the minimum fuss, I wasn’t equipped to deal with the wife at this point, my only problem the venue is a standing venue only, I knew my knees were going to bear the brunt ah well no pain no gain! We got there and the wife did a bit of skull doggery (and no I couldn’t possibly tell you for legal reasons what that was) we got there to actually enjoy the support band (Neon Fly) who were alright in a youthful kind of way but as always the sound in the venue was …..How can I describe it…..oh yes shite! I might go dig the album out on you tube at some point, a less complicated version of Dragonforce with someone who could sing and actually use the stage area, even though the rest of the band did throw in a couple of Germanic Accept poses here and there! Five out of ten (purely because I’m hyper critical) and because the venue sound is as I have already stated ….Shite!

Magnum I have seen so many times, I have lost count, but in the late seventies and early eighties it was usually a tie between them and Budgie who was the most seen support band, and since they have reformed a few years ago, I have been to see them a few times what annoys me now is that Bruce Forsyth…… I mean Bob Catley (bless him at 96 and still touring) and it now takes him a few songs to get warmed up, and because they have a new album they insist on doing forty minutes of admittedly nice (new) material but if you haven’t got the new album people get distracted and start doing Farcebook rather than enjoy the gig, it wasn’t bad but a 100 minute gig and only six……and I mean six old songs, come on give us a fecking break! Maybe why they only got 503 people in (I know somebody who works at the venue) I admire the fact that they don’t want to rest on their laurels but its ever decreasing numbers say something, people really do want to hear the classics, besides that a good gig (in a shite venue ooops sorry sarcastic button stuck in) never mind a good intro for the coming weekend!

Thursday and Friday passed in a haze again my get up and go had got up and fucked off but I made it across the winning line in an orderly fashion, Thursday I attended the Drs to be told I wasn’t as sick as I had originally thought (woo hoo) although I did ask about my snoring which allegedly is like watching Slayer in the front row…..FUCKING LOUD!  And I’m being sent to see if I need a gimp mask watch this space for further updates! Friday was well let’s just say Friday I got through the day with no mishaps  only to get home and discover that Fish had cancelled the opening couple of dates of his tour due to illness with a band member and yes you guessed it the gig I was going to was one of them (mind you this morning the whole tour had been cancelled not nice…..get well soon Mr Boult) so I was deflated over going to conquer the gig especially after what happened last year, the gig has been rescheduled already but to be honest, I have decided not to go, must be an age thing, if you are going please feel free to enjoy but I have decided to stay in and wash my hair on that night!

Then we just had to get through the weekend of babysitting the Hurricane who was really well behaved (although still a bloody Hurricane) we returned him to the arms of a loving set of parents and so not to waste the day we got our glad rags on and went for lunch, at our local spoons which thankfully when you consider it’s a bank holiday weekend was mercifully not full, the food was OK and the youngest turned up and we fed her as well (well it would have been rude not too) a few drinks for myself (in reality the first of the year) the wife went home feeling tired (erm ok) although we were only ten minutes behind her we put her to bed as soon as we got in (the hurricane catching up with her and not the drink I hasten to add as she only had one drink) and I disappeared off to listen to some more music (so far this weekend:- Clutch, Free, Big Wreck, The Pursuit of Happiness, Rick Springfield, Fishbone, Yes and some Tackhead all good stuff and the day is still young let’s see what comes over the horizon), then I read all the emails and felt slightly obligated to do something new if just to keep the Scandinavian contingent slightly happy! Me I’m Ok not happy not sad and so far (touch wood) I haven’t disappeared in a haze of over eating, now if  I could just get motivated enough to get out of the house at some point I might start living this thing we call life! So there you go I hope it’s enough to please the swarming masses, live long and eat cheese or some other kind of such nonsense, watch the skies you never know when I might have more thoughts on the life of a grey man until then……. Toodles!

Bucketmania!

The sun broke through the curtains and the morning that so many people had been waiting for had arrived, the Buckets playing the City Hall, 30 years of Bucketmania all in one place, this was indeed going to get messy!

The original plan had been to go with G and E, fate kicked us all in the balls for that one, but tickets purchased we had to go through with it otherwise a certain lady would have got off her sick bed and kicked our ass big style! As always we had a few tasks to complete, little chores and in-between them I checked in on Farcebook to see who was going and to keep an eye on excitement levels, it added a great feeling seeing so many people happy and excited about some local boys doing so well. Pictures were being posted and old tracks from YouTube, all added to the buzz, I was nearly tempted to dig out my old cassette “Sex Drugs & Sausage Rolls” but time and technology got away from me. The youngest was going to attend with us, bless her, her debut Buckets gig this indeed could get messy!

The daughter headed off to meet up with her friends to enjoy the sunny day, me I was to some degree dreading the night, if you have been reading some of the previous blogs, you will see that I have been undergoing some treatment, and although I’m being told it’s going well at times it seems to be having the opposite effect! Nerves were getting the better of me hells bells it’s not like it was me getting on the stage, so I did my little mind exercises, did all      the tricks I had been taught, onwards was the order of the day.

The wife went off to sort the Kraken who was grumbling that we didn’t care (WTF) Kraken corralled and watered, the wife could then start getting ready, my intention was to play it cool and not wear my Buckets T-shirt and I was going to try and act all nonchalant, yeah you guessed it, I wanted to be loud and proud for my support of all things Buckets! One bright orange Buckets T-shirt later, All ship shape we headed off with lots of time to spare (what just happened there) and we took a pleasant jaunt from Gimpsville to the big city stopping for fuel on the way in with a slight detour to buy some Easter eggs to no avail some greedy bastard had got them all, before anybody starts saying I’m a nugget for leaving it so late, sorry but it was a late curve ball thrown at me, as it’s usually the wife who does the chocolate shopping (me with my reputation, it wouldn’t get home!) detour complete we got our usual parking space close in the heart of Newcastle and connected with the youngest. Heading towards the City Hall I had a rather large grin on my face at the sight of so many Buckets T-shirts!

We were about eighth in the queue and we were quiet happy to be there, the only bug bear was the gig was unreserved seating so I figured it was going to be a mad dash for seats, the wife went walkabout and turned up inside waving at me and the youngest from behind the entrance doors, she got the information required for T-shirts and stuff, then finally arrived back in place as the queue started to grow and grow and grow, it was almost like the Lambton Worm (ok let’s not go there) Charlotte started to take pictures from inside to the masses outside the doors (damn it was like the 70’s & 80’s all over again) doors finally opened we rushed to get our T-shirts (I was so nice I bought one for all of us) and then dashed off to claim the seats we had carefully planned to get, slight curve ball as they had been reserved for crew members, we jumped in the next row and got settled, smiling as we saw so many people that we knew and hadn’t seen for so long, it really was like old days waving to people in the balcony and all around, admittedly my eyesight is shocking these days so if I missed anybody please forgive me I wasn’t being ignorant just blind!

Now for the important part, I wasn’t sure what to expect, was there going to be a support band? We just didn’t know we didn’t have a Scooby doo (but we did get Scooby doo later haha thanks Smog) but when Kev Bucket walked on stage with the biggest shit kicking Grin anyone has ever seen we knew that this indeed was going to be a special night, am I going to review the gig fuck no if you have seen the Buckets, you know what we got nearly three hours of awesomeness, a couple of complaints, firstly where was the high wire entrance from upstairs on to the stage? No pyro? Come on boys it’s the Hall! No giant Bucket as a drum riser! well all I can say it was still fucking awesome, however I promised my daughter some Opera, I feel as though I let her down on that score, and the crowd although they enjoyed it most of the gig was sat on their ass! Even with my dodgy knees, which because of all the standing destroyed my groin, oh, that looks so wrong written down but its true I was crippled, fuck me I even danced, well ok I sort of swayed from side to side from time to time! The magic of music hahahaha, the old farts sat behind us only complained once about us being out of our seats (thankfully) I really didn’t want murder and mayhem to be the headline in the local papers on Sunday morning! As a gig it was pretty damn good and enters my top five gigs of all time with a bullet, not bad when you consider I have been visiting the City Hall since 1976! damn good boys damn fucking good! Actually not bad since I have watched various lines up since about 1988 over about 100 times! Definitely the most watched band ever for me…..go figure!

The three hours were all over way to quick, a cracking end to a cracking gig and a fantastic touch for Malcom (you really had to be there) it was great seeing Trevor sing again for the boys, but was it just me but did his eye brows stand out for anybody else or was it just me that thought they looked like some kind of special effect or maybe it was the lighting, I didn’t mind though because he sang all my faves Caledonia and Red Hot, still no California Man I think I shall stopping hurling abuse…..I mean requesting it. We finally met up with G who was sat at the back with some of the Shields Bunch and it made me feel even better seeing them, but we didn’t hang around for the after show although G asked us, it just didn’t feel right and the wife would have upset one or two people who kept well out of our way (wonder why) the wife was starting to sink with a bad headache not helped by a couple of the white lights aimed at the crowd, we said our goodbyes or should I say au revoir as we did to Charlotte’s mum who was taking in all of the atmosphere as everybody streamed out of the venue, surely there has to be a proposal from a certain lady to a certain bass player I know just the right band to play the wedding hahaha!

A quick call in to work on the way home (I know I’m a sad bastard) brought about the expected mayhem as people went into panic mode as I turned up at around 11.30, so funny to find a body sprawled on the floor as he simply couldn’t get out the way quick enough, really do you not like the mischief that normally follows my presence at work, tee hee, deed done we headed back to Gimpsville and deposited the youngest back at the Kraken’s lair , we got the hell out of dodge before she went into full on twist mode, and got back in time for the wife to just want to crawl into bed and die…..quietly!

This morning the world tilted and any cunning plans were thrown out the window, I got up late and the wife didn’t, but when she did she was like the walking dead, another visit to the Dr’s and hopefully some bloody answers, as I type this up I look back on a great gig with some wonderful people, and even though we were not able to get to the Big Ginger Git’s and Bluebeards Easter Bunny Hop, I’m sure it will be a great day, now just to pick up the pieces do the dishes and veg out, I’m not back to work until late Wednesday all I can say is that the Buckets made me do it! Until next time……………..Toodles!

Return of Broken Hoop

Ok so a low profile has been kept purely because I have been so ill with squirty problems,  the hoop was well and truly broken! so today we return as lords of this world and go and meet peeps in a public house to have a beer or two with various peeps from around the country!

The ten days that I have been laid low has curtailed my interaction with anybody, mainly because I was so scared that I was going to infect the world with my bad case of Bottom Ebola, I have been like a loppy dog, and no I haven't enjoyed it at all, weak as a kitten and generally feeling pap! What little contact I actually have with the outside world has been curtailed to such a degree I feel quite light headed as I head out into the big bad world later today.

A return to work tomorrow (with the exception of my knees it's been my first sick leave in 22 years and tomorrow  is my 28th work birthday, not bad for some place I was only going to stay at for 6 weeks admittedly not in the same job, although it appears clots do rise to the top!) and a whole list of cunning plans which will crash and burn more than likely, but hey ho it's going to fun (watch this space). A return to writing, as I haven't done any since taking poorly is a must, as a run up to the Buckets 30th anniversary gig, number one on my list now that I'm not infectious is to see G & E, we both feel as though we cut adrift their lifeboat, but we couldn't or in actual fact wouldn't put E through what I have had, even if she wasn't a patient at Cherry B! there is one or two peeps I wouldn't have minded giving it to though!

As for Chaos and mayhem well I think it will be a slow build up to the coming weekend, but there is the potential for a epic blog coming your way next week, that's not to say that there won't mayhem today but chaos will be curtailed as I want to break myself in gently if you get my drift, I'm gutted that I won't get a Buckets T shirt next weekend, but we all have to live with disappointment in our life ack ack ack!

Now that's this is done I'm not expecting huge numbers but please be aware I have a number of items on the boil, so watch the skies  there is a lot of work coming your way, I'm not quite sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, I will let you lot decide so until the next time .....Toodles!

Cherry B

So here is the third and final blog on how E is doing, why the final one, well plenty of people are able to get the message out, and to be honest I don’t want to bore people with my version of how the lady in question is doing, and I certainly don’t want peeps to think that I am the font of all knowledge, I’m not I’m just a concerned friend of a very special (and  much loved) person.

A very elaborate viewing programme was now in place, we aren’t the only people who wants to visit our friends and we weren’t greedy, we weren’t able to go as often as we would have liked, we had other issues to deal with and again other people needed to visit, the week had dragged and we contended ourselves with reports from G on the patients progress and the insults he was receiving on a daily basis (that in itself is a great thing) and finally Wednesday arrived.

Straight away there was a lesbian affair or so I was told, I was polishing my glasses so missed the whole thing, but I did hear the wife getting whispered platitudes from the lady in the bed, the wife was given instruction on how to do Foof Fanning (a lot more complicated than you could imagine) and then for some insane reason the ladies broke into Mary Poppins the musical…..please don’t ask just take it from me it’s a good thing……….I think!

E had a raging thirst but she was being given her regulation wall paper paste to drink (well that’s what it looked like to me) and G was being very strict as to what position she was required to be in so that it all went down the right way, cue lots of old jokes and much hilarity mainly from the patient herself and finally she informed us all that “these beds are fucking shite” I was quite concerned for another patient who was snoring like an outboard motor and was quite frankly putting me in the shade, and she seemed to be such a frail old thing!

At this point E as always was asking news of her subjects ….erm I mean friends and she was thrilled that lots of you had read the blogs and she was determined to have a read herself, unfortunately the mobile phone was proving a little difficult to read so G whipped out his big boy (that’s his IPad to the uninitiated) I now have my instructions and I have to see how I can do a spoken word version so that E can hear my dulcet tones doing my best Stephen Fry impersonation, another reason why this trilogy will be coming to a close tonight.

E had by this time be glammed up, hair brushed by…. well herself and others who wanted to help, she had nail varnish and looked almost like herself although she does look tired, well she is worrying about the world having to deal with an unfettered G! The wife and G were in full on nurse mode and me well to be honest, I just got in the way and sat looking (cough splutter) pretty! We had a patient that had suffered a number of heart attacks and was not going quietly, either move the poor woman to a more private place or provide everybody else with ear defenders, the noise was most off putting, I have no idea how E didn’t get out of bed and smother her (I’m not being cruel just making an observation the woman was in pain), we returned our attention back to E who was considering Foof platting, and my fragile constitution was shaken to the core, we fought with her to get her sassy inflatable leggings back on and G will be a qualified Anaconda wrestler after E is done in hospital, it could just possibly be E getting him back for all the mischief he has caused over the years.

G himself was as always being naughty, well not really he was just getting the patient to do some things for herself, although the cursing only went up by a modicum. We soon departed and life as always went on. The week continued and we awaited any news that G had to give us, the very next day E was moved to Cherry Burn a rehab centre, but not the preferred option, but we are led to believe that the preferred option have accepted her, so all we can do now is to wait on the bed! G again had a lot to deal with and again I can only sing his praises for his fortitude, I know for a fact that I would have been a wreck by this point, also not helped by the Halifax being total Cocks! Don’t worry a special kind of hell is being worked out for the troops who cannot deviate from instructions, I’m so glad that after the banking crisis and all that we did for them that compassion has blossomed in their hearts and they wish us all nothing but goodwill ……..continued at lyingthievinglazyarseholes.com! Go figure!

The weekend arrived along with travel documents to see E at her penthouse suite and we arrived at what is left of the old General hospital (where I had my first ever operation at the age of five and a whole blog on the nightmares that were associated with it …..Even for the shortest time us kids are resilient) thankfully the rehab place wasn’t so derelict (it was actually quite nice) again it felt strange learning how to gain access to another ward once in we found E in her own cubicle and G flashed the fact that Motley Crue had been shoved into the wardrobe, it appears they are there simply to lie on the patients “sweaty tits” her words not mine, this time I had forgot to take my little black book to make notes and there was so much that I forgot 90%, it was good to see E relax once she knew that I didn’t have my little black book and the conversation flowed and it’s great to see her start on the long road ahead, let’s be under no illusion she has a long way to go, but with G by her side she can’t ask for a better companion who will not only be a hard taskmaster but a loving husband ( I know she will set her ninja’s on me but you know what I don’t care) the message is getting out there and she knows that she is loved one step at a time let’s keep giving our love and support to both of them.

Is Cherry Burn the best place I don’t think it will be, it appears under staffed and again they can’t be deviated from instructions, making G sit outside in his car because of rules, G understands that there are certain things that need to be done when he is not there but what would have happened if he didn’t have a car  would he have to walk the grounds for two hours as instructed, I understand that there are rules to be followed, but someone who has nowhere to else to go and can basically do more for the patient than what appears to be actually happening, I’m aware that the NHS has problems, this is not a critique but if a helpful person is ejected because of the “rules” then you really are up shit creek, because essentially this person wants to support the staff and not be a hindrance, who wants to assist in the rehabilitation of his wife and is prepared to do the small things that the staff seem not to have the time to do! It’s not all good but we make the best of it and offer our support

That brings the trilogy to a close, I’m not the mouth piece for either G or E I just felt I had to let as many people know what was happening from my view point, they do need all the love and support that everybody (a cast of millions) can provided, some of our prayers have been answered but not all of them lets continue with the support for a great couple, they need every bit of love we can send them. Until the next time …..Toodles!