Cherry B

So here is the third and final blog on how E is doing, why the final one, well plenty of people are able to get the message out, and to be honest I don’t want to bore people with my version of how the lady in question is doing, and I certainly don’t want peeps to think that I am the font of all knowledge, I’m not I’m just a concerned friend of a very special (and  much loved) person.

A very elaborate viewing programme was now in place, we aren’t the only people who wants to visit our friends and we weren’t greedy, we weren’t able to go as often as we would have liked, we had other issues to deal with and again other people needed to visit, the week had dragged and we contended ourselves with reports from G on the patients progress and the insults he was receiving on a daily basis (that in itself is a great thing) and finally Wednesday arrived.

Straight away there was a lesbian affair or so I was told, I was polishing my glasses so missed the whole thing, but I did hear the wife getting whispered platitudes from the lady in the bed, the wife was given instruction on how to do Foof Fanning (a lot more complicated than you could imagine) and then for some insane reason the ladies broke into Mary Poppins the musical…..please don’t ask just take it from me it’s a good thing……….I think!

E had a raging thirst but she was being given her regulation wall paper paste to drink (well that’s what it looked like to me) and G was being very strict as to what position she was required to be in so that it all went down the right way, cue lots of old jokes and much hilarity mainly from the patient herself and finally she informed us all that “these beds are fucking shite” I was quite concerned for another patient who was snoring like an outboard motor and was quite frankly putting me in the shade, and she seemed to be such a frail old thing!

At this point E as always was asking news of her subjects ….erm I mean friends and she was thrilled that lots of you had read the blogs and she was determined to have a read herself, unfortunately the mobile phone was proving a little difficult to read so G whipped out his big boy (that’s his IPad to the uninitiated) I now have my instructions and I have to see how I can do a spoken word version so that E can hear my dulcet tones doing my best Stephen Fry impersonation, another reason why this trilogy will be coming to a close tonight.

E had by this time be glammed up, hair brushed by…. well herself and others who wanted to help, she had nail varnish and looked almost like herself although she does look tired, well she is worrying about the world having to deal with an unfettered G! The wife and G were in full on nurse mode and me well to be honest, I just got in the way and sat looking (cough splutter) pretty! We had a patient that had suffered a number of heart attacks and was not going quietly, either move the poor woman to a more private place or provide everybody else with ear defenders, the noise was most off putting, I have no idea how E didn’t get out of bed and smother her (I’m not being cruel just making an observation the woman was in pain), we returned our attention back to E who was considering Foof platting, and my fragile constitution was shaken to the core, we fought with her to get her sassy inflatable leggings back on and G will be a qualified Anaconda wrestler after E is done in hospital, it could just possibly be E getting him back for all the mischief he has caused over the years.

G himself was as always being naughty, well not really he was just getting the patient to do some things for herself, although the cursing only went up by a modicum. We soon departed and life as always went on. The week continued and we awaited any news that G had to give us, the very next day E was moved to Cherry Burn a rehab centre, but not the preferred option, but we are led to believe that the preferred option have accepted her, so all we can do now is to wait on the bed! G again had a lot to deal with and again I can only sing his praises for his fortitude, I know for a fact that I would have been a wreck by this point, also not helped by the Halifax being total Cocks! Don’t worry a special kind of hell is being worked out for the troops who cannot deviate from instructions, I’m so glad that after the banking crisis and all that we did for them that compassion has blossomed in their hearts and they wish us all nothing but goodwill ……..continued at lyingthievinglazyarseholes.com! Go figure!

The weekend arrived along with travel documents to see E at her penthouse suite and we arrived at what is left of the old General hospital (where I had my first ever operation at the age of five and a whole blog on the nightmares that were associated with it …..Even for the shortest time us kids are resilient) thankfully the rehab place wasn’t so derelict (it was actually quite nice) again it felt strange learning how to gain access to another ward once in we found E in her own cubicle and G flashed the fact that Motley Crue had been shoved into the wardrobe, it appears they are there simply to lie on the patients “sweaty tits” her words not mine, this time I had forgot to take my little black book to make notes and there was so much that I forgot 90%, it was good to see E relax once she knew that I didn’t have my little black book and the conversation flowed and it’s great to see her start on the long road ahead, let’s be under no illusion she has a long way to go, but with G by her side she can’t ask for a better companion who will not only be a hard taskmaster but a loving husband ( I know she will set her ninja’s on me but you know what I don’t care) the message is getting out there and she knows that she is loved one step at a time let’s keep giving our love and support to both of them.

Is Cherry Burn the best place I don’t think it will be, it appears under staffed and again they can’t be deviated from instructions, making G sit outside in his car because of rules, G understands that there are certain things that need to be done when he is not there but what would have happened if he didn’t have a car  would he have to walk the grounds for two hours as instructed, I understand that there are rules to be followed, but someone who has nowhere to else to go and can basically do more for the patient than what appears to be actually happening, I’m aware that the NHS has problems, this is not a critique but if a helpful person is ejected because of the “rules” then you really are up shit creek, because essentially this person wants to support the staff and not be a hindrance, who wants to assist in the rehabilitation of his wife and is prepared to do the small things that the staff seem not to have the time to do! It’s not all good but we make the best of it and offer our support

That brings the trilogy to a close, I’m not the mouth piece for either G or E I just felt I had to let as many people know what was happening from my view point, they do need all the love and support that everybody (a cast of millions) can provided, some of our prayers have been answered but not all of them lets continue with the support for a great couple, they need every bit of love we can send them. Until the next time …..Toodles!