Dignity

Here we go again, although this one will be considerably shorter than my previous blog, but E has asked me to try and keep everybody in the loop regarding her health.

E had been moved to a ward and we spent Tuesday trying to work out where it was, thankfully my wife had left with tons of free time purely so that we could indeed find it in the maze that is the RVI, that's the thing when you build super hospitals you need to be super to find your way around them! We arrived before G and his Sis and we finally met A who E keeps insisting is a brother from another mother, we hunkered down in the corridor as this ward had a strict policy on visiting, I wasn't going to get to see E on this visit as I said in previous posts I was just glad to see that she was getting better, and my intention was purely to try and support G, everybody else did the deed and at the end of it we headed out of the area, me and the wife went with G for a coffee and G had biggest Jaffa cake in the world and a cup of that foul American brew (not that I mind Americans I just hate the smell of coffee)as they drank I people watched for a while and had to shake my head a few times.

Once we finished G said he would walk us back to the car as he had some time to kill before heading back to the ward, as we were parked on the wrong side of the hospital it was going to be a hike, we set off in a northerly direction (you really did need a bloody compass) I noticed that the wife was getting just a tad flush, just as she did one of her world famous "now would be a really good time to collapse" routines thankfully both me and G noticed and grabbed her as she went backwards faster than a tanker getting launched on a Wallsend slipway, cue lots of young doctors rushing to see if they could help, they were all quite impressed (as was I) when I gave them a brief medical history and they saw I knew what I was doing, thankfully she came around just as quick as she hit the ground and we were able to get her up off the floor and onto a seat so she could compose herself, when we noticed she had fallen right outside the Falls and Syncophy clinic who said they couldn't do anything for her.

We were then escorted by a concerned G back to the car and once he was satisfied we headed home, we had new concerns for E mainly that she was on a new ward but that she was surrounded by old dears, we found A on farcebook and connected and G text late on in the day to see how my good lady wife was doing, even in amongst all the shit the guy has time to be concerned for others, that's why we love him, we arranged to visit on Friday and get radio contact through the week with some terse texts with just enough information bleeding through the lines G was concerned and rightly so.

Friday came and we had learnt our lesson, we parked closer with only a little swearing (which was good considering) and again we were first there (so we bloody well thought) and claimed our seats we thought that G was already in and we hadn't been there more than a minute when a bed came crashing out of the ward being rushed (and I mean rushed) down the corridor now I didn't get a good look, but the wife was sure it was E! I said it couldn't have been as there was no sign of G, who then appeared from the ward but G himself, looking concerned and not too happy, it appears E had nodded off to sleep as G had been leaving the afternoon visiting session and when he arrived back, she was in exactly the same position, he wasn't happy cue much talking and a dash for a CT scan, we then listened to G's concerns and I have to admit he was so level headed about it all I have to admire and give kudos for his restraint.

Lady A turned up and saw three very unhappy bunnies sat outside the ward and she was concerned straight away, thankfully E soon returned, G trailed after her like a submarine hunting a trawler he was now a man on a mission, and nothing was going to stop him. he returned and seemed happier and he dragged the rest of us in to see E and fuck the two people policy! thankfully E was waking up oblivious to the horrors that our imagination had us all thinking, and her words "have you come to see the spacka?" greeted us like a wave of happiness, now at this point if you are of a nervous disposition step away from this busted ass blog straight away, as it's getting naughty straight away and those easily offended ....well you obviously don't know E that well, although tired the old E was there softer spoken, as you would be if you had had tubes rammed down your throat for a fortnight, but she was so happy to see us and in reality this was my first time speaking to her for any length of time, the previous Saturday she was shattered and I hadn't wanted to tire her out as there were lots of people wanting to see her.

I was immediately given instructions for the next (this) blog she was most insistent that I tell everybody how she is doing and was being instructed in that way only E can do, she had titles for the blog The Spacka Wifey erm no, The Cripple Botherer (directed at G and his attempts at rehabilitation) and many more that were even more cruel than I could think off, I will admit the joy of her being there in such fine form had me close to tears a couple of times, if she had seen me she would have just told me to" man up or fuck off " or some other subtleties, we discussed everything (in turns) from cunning plans to her dignity (hence the title) holidays, Tee Hee club road trips and beyond, this is the fighter we all know and love. there was concern that Foof Fanners has the potential  to be an Olympic sport, and the search has begun for a Nikki Sixx Tommy Tipper cup, ask me next time you see me hahahahaha again E had concern for peeps not close to home asking how SMOR was doing, the lady is lying there suffering a major issue and she asks about others, she was glad that me and the wife had finally met A after all this time, E kept trying to whip lash me with her piss pipe (her words not mine) asking me to stop eyeing up her home brew (definitely Stella and it looked like 6 pints of husband beater to me) and fighting off the lavish attentions of G who claims  that copping a feel is indeed an affective therapy, thankfully because we reasonably quiet (hahahahaha yeah fucking right) we weren't rushed out even after everybody wanting to pictures of the lady in her bed/throne (all pictures covered by a D noticed and embargoed at the request of G) the two hours flew by and although we aren't out of the woods I felt buoyed by the fact that E was there, right there trying to organise a window lickers competition, as only she would!

The road is still long and hard and thankfully she has the love and support of so many people close to home and lots of people including a couple in the best village in the world! including and they will both hate me for saying it but the best person for, her real best friend and husband the one and only  G! the love between them just shines out and I hope that this gets sorted quicker than any of us can pray, why does shit always happen to good people (rant continued at Ihatescumand theyshouldalldieslowpainfuldeaths.com). we left the hospital with a little bit of a spring in our step, actually mine was a limp, I just hoped that nobody noticed. I fell off the tall kerb and nearly broke my ankle, but at least we were in the right place if I had, we got home and headed to KFC so we could tease G and send him pictures (the threats we received were not from a gentleman oh no)of our supper!

I had intended to post this yesterday but when I got up I felt like hammered shit and I had to ease myself into the day and I lay around like a loppy dog, writing other stuff (the new book) after receiving instructions from E the night before, the wife did her tasks and while I felt better she slipped the other way and I put her to bed at 7.00pm ....go figure. E has instructed me to get the word (she who must be obeyed) out to let everybody who knows her, so spread the word, the lady is a damn good fighter! if you read this on Facebook I have no objection for people clicking the like button, but please click the share button to share it on your page and give it a brief description to let people to know it's about E.......and if you have wandered into the blog and haven't worked out who E is well tough shit!

So another week comes around more cunning plans and prayers being said if I could do anything else for them I gladly would I love both E and G with all my heart and if just a few more of you do (and I know lots of you do) the good vibe will get to her lying in her throne with her home brew strapped to her faithful iron steed, if I know anything I will post in a blog (as I have the lady's permission .....ooops I will get so much shit for that hahahahaha she will have to catch me) until the next time spread the word.............Toodles!

So much for a shorter blog!