Sunday, 6 January 2019

Gates of Delirium



A new year starts and I am so full of positivity it’s unbelievable, ok so I’m full of crap but you lot knew that anyway. but I have to try and put a positive spin on it lol!

The new year started with everybody except me succumbing to either food poisoning or people turning into some kind of snot monkeys, myself I was unaffected, I simply bimbled on. I have been trying to be a good boy weight wise (a loss of 5 and a half stone in just over two years means I must be doing something right) and although I wasn’t a naughty boy over Christmas, I still felt guilty, I have no idea why as I have been positively bloody angelic, while everybody else had been  gorging and stuffing themselves silly and heading off into the realms of a gluttonous overload, I tried (being the operative word) to be sensible, all the things I have been trying to do finally has been successful and the weight is starting to come off, its keeping it off that’s the hard part, and trying to climb back on the healthy horse has been (or it seems to me to be ) bloody difficult.

Not that the weight loss has given me any additional mental clarity, I went to bed last night and just before I nodded off I had a massive dose of inspiration for this blog, or was I dreaming? because although I have wracked my brain this morning I simply remember that I allegedly had a fantastic idea…...D’oh! no surprise there then. I will thank you all for keeping any sarcastic comments to yourselves than you.

The new year also came with some very interesting questions from you lot, mostly regarding the coming year, and to be honest I have no cunning plan, I never have had I usually just waffle, you may have noticed, the only thing I have planned is that the 500th blog should be my last one, as I have indicated that’s still a way off so don’t panic, the intention hopefully is too do more historical ones, again as indicated I’m hoping to avoid miserable musings simply to annoy those of you the discerning readers so that you don’t get what you want…….go figure! The main question and you lot do seem to take notes, is what do I intend to do with all of my notes and collections of unpublished works, I would like to think some of them will be used in some form or other, its simply getting all of the dots to join together, oh and to take as much of the bile and depressing ideas out of them! All I can do is try, watch this space.

Life isn’t a bed  of roses ………wait, maybe it is because  I feel as though I’m under tons of shit at any one time (see what I did there, see I can do humour……allegedly!) the blogs will be whatever inspires me for the coming week people, work, family and most of all friends,  as long as I keep notes when inspiration does actually strike. We have a number of cunning plans (allegedly) going forwards as to what we intend to do, I just need the wife to join in and accept some of those plans, I know I need to offer her as much support as I can, as her health has been decidedly crap in the  last 12 months, the food poisoning certainly didn’t help, it seems its one step forward and then two steps back for her, she is stronger than me though so I know that she won’t give up or will driven under the heel of certain toxic people!

As for me it’s onwards and……………sideways, isn’t it always the same, I need to concentrate on everything at the minute and my bile spewing consciousness has not been very conducive for a productive  life, so I know I need to dial it back just a tad, me with my reputation go figure. I’m hoping everybody got what they wanted over the holidays, I’m hoping that all like minded people continue to have a harmonious time in their lives (can you tell I have been listening to a load of…………..well I cant tell you other wise the name game would be obsolete)  so here’s the deal you keep reading and I will keep writing them, even great blog inspirations like Mick Wall and Dave Ling go missing in action from time to time, so here’s hoping that I can keep the pace up!

I do feel as though I’m on the edge of a spinning plate  of late (look at that I’m a poet) and although I do feel as  though I have more control in my life than I have had in over 30 years, its still not comfortable, I know though that I will ask for additional help if I feel I need it, how adult do I feel at this moment in time, not very if truth be told but I am trying, I know you all think that!

So that’s the first one of the year over and done with not as exciting as some people probably thought it would be, still longer than I thought it would be, but you have to start somewhere, again it will be governed by the ratings, if a blog is still generating good numbers the next one will not arrive until the last one has stalled, I don’t wish to dilute the pool so to speak, going forward year on year we (and I’m including you the discerning reader in this) have improved with viewings, I’m hoping to finally break the 40000 barrier for the year, I seem to be doing something right if you lot keep coming back to read the bloody thing, go figure! let’s see, so keep spreading the disease, passing the baton and all the rest of the rubbish I usually spew at the end of such blogs (not simply to raise the word count as some of you seem to think) watch the skies for incoming, the next one might be here sooner than you think.

Toodles!

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