Intruder

I know, what you think, I steal your thoughts, I know, how to leave my mark, I know how to disturb, I know what works for me and doesn’t work for you. Like a thief in the night

 Dark thoughts can be like the intruder within the title!

Many people at some point suffer from the “Black Dog” of life with issues that affect them mentally, be it by being Bi Polar or suffering from PTSD or any one of a number of maladies that can affect people / individuals in their everyday life, you are not alone, many people at various points in their life suffer from this issue, dark thoughts through the ages have been with us since the dawn of time (allegedly) but now that we all have become touchy feely thankfully people can express their feelings and have a better understanding and a much better quality of life than in the past, life is not perfect but it hopefully  is getting better, as the saying goes (HOPE) Hold On Pain Ends!

Most mental health issues go all the way back to childhood, you have absolutely no control what your future holds, something that happened in your past no matter how innocuous it could be, can raise its head like a Kraken and decimate you in later life with no say what so ever, now the intention of this little missive is not to degenerate anyone who is suffering ( I do myself, you might have realised after some of my blogs) there are more people with issues than you realise.

Now some issues are self-inflicted and some people are just so self-absorbed its unbelievable (oh no I broke a finger nail- I kid you not) there is also the rise of the “brat” / “the deserving generation” who are the most entitled in the world, believe me I deal with the public on a daily basis most of these people just need to give their heads a shake, they may have issues, however you would define them as mental, as opposed to having mental health issues, there is a huge difference!

Some/most people tend to use alcohol to mask their issues, god knows I did, thankfully I realised (with the help of some very good friends) the damage I was doing, to the point I wasn’t waving I was drowning, what a difference 20 odd years does last year I had 6 yes that’s right 6 pints of Guinness for the whole of last year and a couple of bottles of Bud at a friend’s bash, yes you read that right! total, how decadent have I become, I am trying (I know this because the wife and just about everybody who I work with keep telling me) to have an alcohol free year, simply to see if there is some correlation to my mental health and drink, I improved last year (well I thought I had) it’s not to say that I will never drink again, I do love a pint I love going to the pub, it’s a great pastime, and believe it or not I bloody miss it! but if you have issues alcohol is not the answer, why? Well because you think you can cope all on your own, in many cases you can’t, if you have issues ask for help, you will be surprised how much friends and family want to help!

Try to have clear thoughts and its easier said than done, I know this but if you can focus on the positive no matter how small it is, it’s so much stronger than the negative, that little chink of light has more strength than you realise, it’s that power that saves you in the long run, the sooner that you realise this the quicker that your pain will end (damn I’m starting to sound like some new age guru) I’m only saying what I have experienced, everybody is a work in progress you will have good days you will have bad, but that’s what’s life is all about and if you have the right tools in your hands then you can achieve whatever you need to, it’s not a magic wand but baby steps and one at a time as opposed to trying to run away from it, it depends on what you want in life, me personally I simply want to be happy, have good health, surround myself with my family and good friends and I know I have some good friends.

Set yourself positive goals, start small don’t reach for the stars, if you do you will fail, and the black dog will devour you, you lose it wins! We need to win, it’s what life is about, do not think that you will win every time , so savour every single win it is vital, the potential for dark days ahead is always within us, no matter who you are, no matter if you are rich and famous or simply Joe Public, there is always something that could take you down that rabbit hole with Alice!

This idea formulated as I published the last blog and it was fresh and bright in my mind, I notice that since it percolated and it has become stronger and darker so I have had to get it out of my mind, the intention is that this is meant to be a hopeful message, I’m hoping that somebody who has had or is having issues can take some kind of positivity (there’s that bloody word again……….hippy)  I know that I am not the perfect being ( I know you all think I’m pretty damn close) I am still a work in progress, but I would say that I’m about 80% better than I was this time last year and that’s simply by taking baby steps, I’m not a hugely competitive person, I normally couldn’t give a rats ass if I win or lose, but in this instance I will not be beat, I will do one step at a time, I now I will fall, I know I will slip and I certainly know I will stumble, however what I do know is that I do intend to win.

The opening and closing paragraphs of this blog are a kind of riff on the original lyric from the song that I’m using as a title for the blog, it is not the original lyric and to be honest I’m using a free form jazz version of the music…….in my mind! I’m playing the album to death at the moment and although it’s painted in dark overtones, it’s not a depressing album and it does empower me to strive to be a better person (maybe you should play the album more often then, I hear a lot of people in my sphere of influence mutter under their breath), and that’s me done, not what peeps were expecting I bet, but that thought struck and I had to get it out of my damn brain, otherwise it would have festered  and eaten away until I  wrote a bile infested blog!

I know, what you think, I steal your thoughts, I know, how to leave my mark, I know how to disturb, I know what works for me and doesn’t work for you. Like a thief in the night.

 Dark thoughts can be like the intruder within the title indeed!

Toodles.