Month 3.

1^st. Back to the grind, work, work and then work just a little more, I’m happy for the distraction, my mind has been wandering off in black directions, I have been struggling to drag the focus back onto something positive, work has certainly helped! It might not be the perfect solution and I know I will suffer before long, the mind may be willing, however the body can no longer do the hours I used to do, I arrive home more tired now than when I was on the tools. Home for a quiet night, the wife not 100% I need to give her some love and attention she is suffering, not from me for once! (Album of the day Place Vendome – Close to the sun).

2^nd. Once more unto the breach and back into at work, many spinning plates, I hate getting up for the early shift, but it pays huge dividends in so much as that there’s nobody here to bother me, so I can just crack on, I will admit to flagging at the end of the shift, I got a lovely surprise as the wife was in when I got home, I had thought she would be a couple of hours behind me, simple things do lift my flagging spirits and thankfully another quiet night in, I needed to try and build some reserves of energy as I have the weekend in at work. (Album of the day – Axel Rudi Pell Magic Moments).

3^rd. Friday is usually the light at the end of the tunnel, not this week as I’m duty manager, so time to be a big boy and simply get on with it, thankfully there was no major issues, well until I got home, to be honest it wasn’t even an major issue then, as I discovered that the youngest was coming home for the weekend, the downfall was I had to go back to work to pick her up (AAAAAH) the weather was pretty horrific so I was very quiet when we slipped into work and slipped out again with only a few people seeing me (the look of panic is always a pleasure) we headed home on a different route as roads were becoming waterlogged this didn’t bode well for the coming weekend, bad weather = lots of people through the doors. (Album of the day – Simon Kirke All because of you).

4^th. Up with the larks and to glorious sunshine (WTF) a quick jaunt on the plague carrier to work to meet a bemused co-worker who wanted to swap the split shift only for him to screw it up completely he actually wanted the early shift however he was gracious enough to admit defeat, I did offer to cover the full day, but he is a good soul, I had to welcome the archbishop of York to work for a couple of flash mobs, there were more than a few nervous people, who for some reason think I’m quite irreverent to things like that, but I can play a nice person from time to time. Still the sun split the sky, so thankfully not a lot of ass wipes arrived (that’s the general public to you) the day flew over (with only two serious accidents both elderly people with bad falls) the trepidation that I had felt thankfully wasn’t warranted, thankfully because of the good weather there wasn’t any traffic issues, so I was able to catch a plague carrier and get home with relative ease. Once home I was once with a nurse’s uniform on (I know not a pretty sight) as the wife is in serious pain with her foot, again a quiet night I was relieved to have half of the weekend over, hopefully I haven’t jinxed myself. (Album of the day Dream Theater – Images and words).

5^th A Magpie, a dirty black and white magpie, that harbinger of doom, I knew I was jinxed from the off, and boy was I right, a day of a roller coaster of emotions with so many things of which I won’t go into details simply as it was a total cluster fuck of a day, the worst aspect of it was the general public, the greedy horrible people, those who want something for nothing, who will step over people to get what they want, there were a number of them who I wanted (to seriously punch right in the throat) to be honest the staff were fantastic and I really couldn’t thank them enough everybody stepped up to the plate, and yes they got me through the day it wasn’t going to end well otherwise, the wife picked me up and we got the hell out of dodge, a late dinner at our local spoons with the youngest lifted this old man’s spirits, the day couldn’t end soon enough I was shattered, this getting old shit isn’t the best you know! (Album of the day Tokyo Motor Fist – Debut).

6^th. Day eight of hell, I now had three days to finalise the Fire Risk Assessment for my place of work, let’s just say it’s a mammoth task, the day was relentless and I didn’t even get started with what I wanted to do, I was going to have to book a meeting room and hide myself away if I intended to make any head way. I headed home not in a good head space to find that I was home alone as the wife and the youngest were going to see some drag queens (so not my scene) the night started badly and continued all the way until I went to bed. I simply went to bed to stop myself eating anything I could get my hands on. The wife rang to say that she was on her way home however all I wanted was my pit and that’s exactly where she found me, asleep and thankfully not eating anything else! (Album of the day Jürgen Blackmore – Destructive mania, quite apt really).

7^th. Today simply had to get better but it didn’t, the whole day spiralled away in chaos, thankfully I was in a better frame of mind, sleep had cleared my mind and thankfully I was able to crack on (mind you I think the whole world heard my scream as I merged two documents that I didn’t intend to, and no I have no idea how I saved the day, but thankfully I did) I got a lot more done than I had envisaged, thankfully this helped, I was still happy when the day ended, I only had one more day of hell left, a quiet night in with no computer switched on tonight was an electronic free night something I might need more of! (Album of the day – Unruly Child – Can’t go home).

8^th. Because I can see the finish line I let my guard slip , just a little, but I still need to be careful, I cracked on and nearly (so close yet so far) finished all the work I wanted to, although my computer skills (or rather the lack of them) got the better of me, so I missed my (self-imposed) deadline, but for once I simply shrugged my shoulders, my head was battered and I simply didn’t want to make any mistakes this close to completion. I threw my hands in the air and admitted defeat, again more issues that I didn’t need to be dragged into, so I kept my distance making sure I kept from getting swept into the maelstrom, Monday will come around soon enough I want to try and enjoy my four days of freedom, that is waving at me in the distance, thankfully home time came soon enough, I stayed booted and suited because I knew I was going to have to help the wife in, we got another surprise in the shape of the Hurricane for an hour as we did yet another good deed, just as The Hurricane headed home I gladly kicked off my shoes only to her the wife ask me to go and put some gas on (AAAAAAAARGH) the dummy was spat well over the wall, not that I minded going to do the task but it’s almost like she waited until I had my shoes off and my feet were so happy to unleashed from the demonic work shoes that I have to wear (NO not high heels ya bunch of pervs), however I’m not the uncaring beast of old I simply muttered (admittedly at higher level than normal volume) and got on with it, I nearly (notice I said nearly)ran there and back, task complete I sat my ass in the chair and didn’t stir until I was told to climb the wooden hill and go to sleep, no music today way to busy!

9^th. Old man syndrome has caught up with me in the middle of the night as I ran to the loo before I wet the bed, thankfully crisis averted I was able to climb back into my (dry) bed and go back to sleep, until the wife’s alarm clock raised me fresh from my slumber, a quick bath to get rid of the stench of death from my weary body, and then to find out that the first part of the day meant that I was again going to be home alone, not something I was looking forward to, the wife went out and I retreated to the back of the house, the dark part where I could sulk and be in easy reach of food if my mind was going to go that way, thankfully it hasn’t and the wife wasn’t as long as I thought, so once we got her in the house and up on the settee (the quacks have given her a fortnight sick note) I was able to listen to some good Teutonic metal to cheer myself up, a quiet night ahead and hopefully I can be restored mentally as I really don’t want to waste the rest of my time off, and I really would love to do something other than hide in my cave and brood, let’s see what happens! (Album of the day Herman Frank – The devil rides out).

10^th. Day two in the big brother house and I am nursing an invalid, I have no issues as she normally looks after me, hang on a second she normally tells me to suck it up buttercup, ah well I ventured out to the quacks to pick up a sick note for the wounded and I insist that while I am in the house she sits her butt on the settee and rests the bloody foot, the day slid away and before I knew it, it was time for the wooden hill. (Album of the day Tim Ripper Owens -  Play My Game).

11^th. So the weekend starts and basically its little odds and sods, my flesh eating disease is back and my beard is starting to be annoying, this won’t end well, an afternoon trawling through the loft for items for the invalid, quite enjoyable in a sweaty kind of way, then a nice long soak in a hot bath, me fall asleep, how very dare as if I would…..OK so I did just for a little bit, more nursing and a quiet night for us both, yes the beard went the distance, very little music today and nothing that I would quote as album of the day, thankfully though the day went well and not full of doom and gloom as I usually am, how the hell did that happen.

12^th Sunday already and once again just odds and sods through the day another bath, a Sunday dinner although not horrible, I didn’t enjoy it, and before anyone complains, I do the cooking so yes I can complain, I ate it (no surprise there then) but I didn’t enjoy it, the wife did but hey ho she married me so she has to be easily pleased (it’s a joke FFS!) I can’t believe four days have slipped by and the only time I have been out of the house was to go to the quacks and to empty the bins, where did my get up and go vanish off to? Back to the grind tomorrow, oh deep joy, still not much music today again looking after the walking dead doesn’t give you much time, but cunning plans for the coming weeks, I’m off for a week soon I might even break out the turntable, mind you I have had nearly two years so I’m not going to rush into it! The moral of that tale is why the hell would anybody buy me technology I’m a sodding luddite does nobody read my blog!

13^th. Well today simply didn’t go as planned, I went for a later plague carrier, I was still at work for just after seven (WTF) I don’t start until eight, got stuck into my emails on the bus, although most get deleted, I have to check them all in case I have to do any investigations/reports, I get to work and find out I’m in a Risk Management course, something that I can’t get out of and it’s a full day thing, I answered what emails I could and rang whatever people  were up at that ungodly hour, including one ungrateful lady who is basically going to get the full legal broadside from me, I did and I mean I really did try to help, the day flew over and I enjoyed an empty plague carrier ride home, well I say I I enjoyed it actually that should read that I blinked for large portions of the journey, home again to look after the invalid, who is a worse patient than me (and that takes some bloody doing) the day as a whole has been good even if the course has my head battered, lots of cunning plans and me taking a stand, which has shocked some people, I will cut and run just at the point of chicken, these are battles I can’t win, doesn’t mean I will let the bastards grind me down, I broke technology again (or at least proved it’s still not fit for purpose) I have a cunning plan for tomorrow, hopefully that involves a slight lie in and a much later trip on the plague carrier, although I wouldn’t hold your breath on that one (Album of the day Y&T – Down for the count).

14^th. Trying to go work later, and it’s not exactly working I still go early so not to miss the bus and end up running like a junkyard dog trying to catch the earlier bus, still getting there later than normal, but still way before I’m supposed to, which isn’t helping as my get up and go has well and truly got up and buggered off, lots to do which I should plough through and well………..it’s taking me a lot longer than it normally would, and I’m not enjoying it like I normally would. A supposedly quiet night turned into a farce for the wife and then it was off to bed. (Album of the day House of Lords – Saint of the lost souls).

15^th. Another early morning thankfully caught the bus I went for, work didn’t improve, again plenty of work, just not feeling it, maybe I need some time (and some money) off to recharge my batteries, low profile and just plodding through simple stuff that I should glide through, at least I’m not down in the dumps, or am I? well if I am I have no intention of over thinking anything, just going to go with the flow and see where I land, fingers crossed, no music today, however I did get shouted at by the wife for blinking for long periods tonight……OOOPS!

16^th. The day at work is still dragging, I had a day with an apprentice doing an induction while flitting between various tasks, she definitely thinks I’m a lunatic, no surprise there then. No bait made for a very long day I wasn’t hungry and my stomach is still giving me grief from the other week nothing major but it is noticeable, maybe I should try and see a doctor, oh no we covered that one didn’t we hahaha, I will sue them when I die of something horrific! Another quiet night in with the invalid, spoke to the youngest who got her mid-term marks and she was delighted so that at least cheered me up, we narrowly avoided world war three over a damaged gas card, I’m sure we can resolve it in the morning and honestly there’s no need to shout at anybody, no music again what’s going on with that?

17^th. Thankfully the last working day of the week, and my apathy is bleeding out of me most people avoiding me so maybe that’s not a bad thing, I had a massive strop with head office, some nugget who is way above my pay grade who looked like he was going to win (or so he thought) not only the battle but also the war until fresh evidence came to light regarding an independent contractor, at the end of the conference call I laughed and called him a loser, I was given a small talking too very politely, yes I won but please don’t rub senior board members noses in it, erm ok ……NOT! issues getting home on the plague carrier  thankfully resolved on the next one in line, I have been toying with the idea of going out with my camera tomorrow morning to do some local history shots, let’s not take any money on it though as I’m still feeling a tad funky! Again, no music but I am intending to sit with the wife and keep her company rather than sit in the darkened cave, maybe that’s progress?

18^th. Up early but didn’t go out with the camera, it was damp (I believe there had been one rain drop just after midnight) up early enough to sit and brood over nothing, finally the wife gets up and hobbles (that foot isn’t getting any better) we intended to do a few chores however the eldest turned up with the Hurricane so we lost a few hours there and then the day ground to a halt, the day was lost we will have to transfer the chores to tomorrow (honest) I’m typing this up full of Chinese food and Mexican beer, it’s a great mix, honestly you can trust me on this one, the night is nearly over, I have tried to play some music but nothing stuck at all nothing getting past the first track, so off to lie around like a loppy dog and to cheer the wife up.

19^th. Another day of sloth however a day of watching films, it was actually a good vibe to the day, so what we didn’t do a lot, we enjoyed each other’s company! We didn’t fall out with each other, that has to be a record, off to bed on the final countdown to a week’s holiday, bring it on.

20^th. Still up early even though I’m duty dog, the wife is in poor shape because of her foot, a slow walk to the plague carrier the day wasn’t going well as the journey had a number of halfwits on the bus, I prayed all the way that they didn’t get off at my place of employment, thankfully a great day with virtually no hassle, I didn’t get any of the work I wanted to do, that was the least of my issues, the duty dragged, my get up and go was still missing in action, I got the hell out of dodge as soon as I possibly could, I got the last bus to Hicksville, I didn’t stay up long as I had to go to work tomorrow early! (Album of the day Krokus – Headhunter).

21^st. Old man’s bladder (which I don’t normally suffer from) had me awake long before the alarms went off and even though I was trying to go in as late as possible I was still at work a little after seven, I dragged myself through the day, keeping out of the way of most meetings and just trying to tie up any loose ends so that I could enjoy my coming days off. As soon as the starting pistol was fired I was off through the door as soon as I possibly could, thankfully the plague carrier was virtually empty, no nuggets and then a very quiet night, no electronic devices to hand, a social media profile lower than a snake’s belly was the order of the day and if I could be honest for just a moment I thoroughly enjoyed it! (Album of the day Heath Green and the Makeshifters – Debut).

22^nd. I awoke to it being bright white with the first decent snow fall of the season, a mile down the road and it was just rain, mmmm I wasn’t complaining! Back to work and I still wasn’t firing on all six cylinders, I had a lot to get through, I had to do more than pay lip service, I had to be an adult and behave, thankfully I managed to get through the day without much controversy, well I say that, lets save that that thought for another day and another blog, let’s just say I got away with that particular thought by the skin of my teeth! Another journey home another sleep on the top deck of the plague carrier, I awoke as we were coming to the stage coach drop off point with not a drop of the white stuff in sight, yet another quiet night with the wife (I’m starting to panic here) off up the wooden hill at a sensible time (WTF) and I was soon in the land of nod. (Album of the day ELO – Out of the blue).

23^rd. I started the day in a much more positive state of mind, it didn’t last long, but at least I tried, the day dragged and I didn’t help myself as I was offered and I took it with both hands, a bottle of Lucozade, as a diabetic I might as well just shoot myself in the head, it crippled me, I just wanted to get home, I arrived to an empty house as the wife was getting her foot looked at by professional men, I mean professional! Joy of joys she arrived home with Chinese food, which was superb, but yet another bad move on my part, I headed to bed soon after as I didn’t want to be beaten around the head and shoulders for blinking for long periods of the evening while I was supposed to be watching the TV with the wife, heaven forbid. (Album of the day Coney Hatch – debut).

24^th Up at silly o clock (04.30 am) had a bath, had some breakfast (well some Jaffa cakes) the day wasn’t starting off at the best point, but I struggled on and got the first stage coach and was again at work well before seven , I jumped straight in at the deep end, convinced I could climb the mountain of work and complete it all, it would appear that I was giving off a vibe, people steered clear and the day went quite well, I was only stroppy a little bit, which got worse as the day went on, the pay rise letter came out and I might have just had a small bile attack, well you have to vent your spleen from time to time, I felt better for it, and then we all got on with our lives, and then off to home, nobody but me on the plague carrier (that helped) and now I start to contemplate what I intend to do with my 9 days off and the big money is on me doing fuck all, let’s see if it’s the right bet, I shall be doing my best to endeavour to be a happy soul, I didn’t say that I would succeed, I did say that I would try! (Album of the day Motorhead – BBC the sessions).

25^th. The start of 9 days off and I’m keeping busy trying to sort blog stuff, trying to keep myself busy, the Kraken is having some surgery today, so it looks like I’m home alone for at least the first 24 hours, not off to a great start, anger and bile is the order of the day, whenever the wife gets in touch she keeps asking what’s up? It’s great she can spot when I’m pissed off, now if she could just the spot the signs of me being annoyed by being asked that bloody question! It’s nothing she has done so just drop it, it’s purely me, hating life and just about everything in it, I get like this sometimes, music is the order of the day and lots of it, but the darkness stays with me, into the evening and onto bed, alone in the dark I just lie there and brood, for once it takes me a long time to go to sleep. (Album of the day Big Wreck – Grace Street).

26^th. The clock has moved forward but I’m still up at silly o clock, Anger has risen to the surface like an oil slick its being damn hard to shift, once I got the blog posted my spirits were lifted simply by the numbers, back to more music and attempting to read something musical, the wife finally arrives home and we get on with the day, I’m still prickly but at least she has backed off to a safe distance, my mood levels out, it’s still not fantastic, I wanted to delete this blog and walk away, thankfully common sense prevailed (allegedly) we shall see, I’m not loving anything at the moment, these funks are few and far between thankfully however they roll in like an old London town fog from all those old films, damn hard to shift! The walk up the old wooden hill simply can’t come soon enough. (Album of the day Nightranger – Seven Wishes).

27^th. A slight lie in although I was awake, but no matter how I felt, I needed to give my head a shake as I had “adult” things to sort and I was on a strict time table, the mood was lighter than the previous 48 hours, still not on an even keel, but the bilge pumps were working overtime and hopefully this ship wasn’t sinking at this moment in time, more music and I got to reading some historical stuff and the afternoon got away from and thankfully for once this wasn’t a bad thing, before I knew it was early evening, the day had ran passed me without hitting me on the back of the head, the mood was lighter if only for a little while, the wife came home we ate and then we vegged, tomorrow I intend to venture out of the house for the first (and probably) the last time of the holiday, I don’t know if you have realised I seem to stay in the shadows of the cave, like I’m tethered there serving some kind of prison sentence, for what I have no idea, I wish I cut the cord and get the hell out of dodge, everything is starting to crowd in again bile and bitterness not far from my shoreline, heading back up the hill here’s hoping for a  better tomorrow! (Album of the day Free – Tons of sobs).

28^th. Early to rise, even though I did try and go back to bed, bile was in my head, so I did the next best thing a long deep bath, I felt a much better person for it, after a great soak I then had to get the wife onto her two feet as she has been going through hell with her foot, a quick breakfast, we then had to get going as we had a number of tasks to do out in the big bad world, a number of places to visit out there in the big bad world, in broad daylight as well, we did all the tasks and didn’t fall out with each other, a good day for recharging our batteries, before we return to our normal boring usual selves, I have to go and join a trial for some diabetes treatment, the fact that I have volunteered says a lot for me but that’s the only reason I will be venturing out, the next monthly blog will be slightly different, I’m only going to blog if I have something positive to write about, I ventured off the lit path this time around, too much darkness, and that’s not what  this is all about, people are responding in a positive manner, so that’s a good thing, a few complaints again these are from people who are not regulars, I have been posting on Tumblr and that has been slightly different, but it’s all a learning curve. Tomorrow will be the halfway point of my holiday, I believe I have had far too much sunlight, I think its time for some rain! Thank you for all the (kind) responses keep them coming good or bad I don’t mind I simply won’t publish them………the power of the pen. Keep spreading the disease, normal service should be resumed sooner rather than later. So until then all I can say for now is ………………………Toodles!