Gimpsville

What can I say that’s not short and sweet, I love the place I was born; nowadays I don’t care for the pond life that dwells there!

My Family are all from The Dene a little suburb off to one side of a small village called Medomsley, The Dene is just two streets and for a while it was mainly older tenants, then people started to die and scum where moved into those properties(you know how well local councils are for looking after elderly communities). Medomsley is actually in the doomsday book and back in the day it was a one street village, in the seventies they built a council estate but thankfully put a good mix of people in them. Medomsley is where my family church is weddings funerals that kind of thing, I do like the church but I don’t visit it very often, it never gives me the solace that I crave from a church I’m usually steeped in melancholia after a visit.

The centre of Gimpsville is typical of an old fashioned working town as it was until the early eighties and I lived there until I was about six, we then moved to the out skirts of the town to Delves Lane (originally called devils lane by the predominantly German people who lived there in the late 1800’s (depending on which version you believe) as it’s said it was a road used supposedly by the devil himself and yes it has a crossroads) and I loved it! there again a predominantly older population, but  at the bottom of my street was the open country side and us kids used it to the fullest, hiking to the Gill Caves, Bluebell Wood, up to the Four Lane Ends(the really scary crossroads of the area where the moss troopers used to hide out don’t worry I don’t intend to bore you with too much local history) and beyond, the best years of my life down to the river at Allensford through the summer, good times we would walk for miles have no mobile phones and we didn’t whine about how far we had to go!

There are loads of little suburbs Rowley, Castleside, Moorside, The Grove, Shotley Bridge, Bridgehill, Blackhill, Blackfyne, Leadgate, Pont, Bradley, and if I wanted to push it you could say Iveston and Hurbuck are as well but they are off the beaten track in the wilds!  It used to be a bustling thriving little place where everybody knew everybody or at least somebody in your family did, It was divided by religion badly but again I will cover that in another chapter!

Then the Steel Works closed closely followed by all the Pits and all we were left with was an industrial estate which had a crisp factory which was never on Medomsley Road no matter what the advert said, it was always on Werdohl Way!  It just backs onto Medomsley Road people from Gimpsville get annoyed by the littlest things. At this point, most of the people I knew got the hell out of dodge myself included; the only good thing was there were plenty of pubs, which even as I speak are dwindling away. The point I’m making I suppose is that my wife hates it here (I’m not overly happy to be back I can assure you although we came back at her insistence ….a long story for another blog) and often goes into full on rant mode claiming that its populated by retards and junkies (tend to agree with you there as is the whole bloody country) and it was in this fair town that the wife first came across the phenomena known as The Diagonal People (a bit like the walking dead doing “dressage”) for the first time, those special buck nuts who instead of crossing the roads at the crossings provided they have a tendency to walk across as it says in the description “diagonally” now unfortunately you do indeed see them in every corner of the land as in the past year I have seen them from Glasgow all the way to Manchester and beyond, but the wife holds a special pouch of venom for the ones in my hometown. But the problem that the wife doesn’t seem to see, is that they are everywhere they are just open your eyes! Everywhere  is exactly the same, the same buck nuts, Knuckle draggers etc etc all over this green and pleasant land and it doesn’t matter where we end up they are everywhere and unless the government go on the rampage and make use of the final solution it’s unlikely to change in our lifetime.

Am I nostalgic for the old place in some ways yes! But back in the day it sure as hell was one unhealthy place to live. But then in others (more practical ways we live out in the sticks for fecks sake the stage coaches don’t travel that often) certainly not. and when I do finally win the lottery I will visit only occasionally to visit family graves, and we will be able to drag out scrawny arses out of here!  I get a sneaky feeling we won’t be missed in Gimpsville!

Short and sweet is what I promised and that’s exactly what you got just my little twisted view on my hometown, there are probably still plenty of people who I used to know still kicking around, but to be honest if they are then they have exceptional field craft skills and their camouflage is perfect! I think I have seen about four people that I used to know, and very enjoyable it was too see them, the fact that they remembered me.  Even old friends have stayed away, does that say more about me then them? I’m not the man to answer that but if anybody has a four bedroom detached house in South Shields that they don’t need and would like to “donate” it to my charity I would very appreciative, I can give you the use of a Kraken.... Free to a good home she doesn’t eat much! Until next time Toodles!