Asylum

Ok when I was a kid I was probably like all kids a major pain in the ass, I certainly didn’t intend to be, but times weren’t the best for the Irwin family on a regular basis, as always we got on with it and we were probably sheltered from a lot of it by our mother, me and my brother worked as well as doing the usual kid stuff and we usually gave half of our wages from various paper rounds and other stuff  to our mother to help pay the bills. We had no problem with that and the rest we usually spent it on music related items albums or gigs, things certainly did not cost as much back in the day (damn I hate that expression) and we were frugal so that what we had could go as far as possible.

If I wanted to go see a band I usually had to tag along with my brother, thats if it was a band that he wanted to see and sometimes if it was a band I wanted to go and see and he didn’t he wouldn’t, you know typical brother stuff sometimes I could tag along with friends safety in numbers that kind of thing and my mother was ok with it (actually there wasn’t much my mother didn’t object to we had a pretty good upbringing that way) so I was able to see some bands that I would never have got to see thanks to my brother the Stranglers Judas Priest and Blue Oyster Cult to name but a few.

1980 was a different kind of year, it was the year I spread my wings and starting doing what I wanted, and sometimes just sometimes my brother tagged along with me for a change, again nothing big just a boy starting to have his own identity (allegedly) and once or twice I went to see bands by myself and claimed to be staying at friends homes that kind of thing, not far from home but I would have to hang around in Malbourgh Crescent bus station dodging the patrolling police cars, in case they thought I was up to no good, that only happened two or three times and thankfully when the weather was good, I was quite lucky in catching last buses home and then sneaking in late, when my mother who slept very lightly would choose to ignore my supposedly quiet entrances.

At school there were actually only two of us who were into rock music 99.9% of the rest of our friends like football and some liked girls, so we were looked at as though we were seriously damaged, bringing records to school so we could disappear at lunch time to play these obscure bands, hells bells I remember Iron Maiden before they even had tattoos hahaha I was still influenced by some degree by what my brother listened to whether he bought it or borrowed from his friends, with him being three years older, I was a few steps ahead of the game, I can still remember certain albums that we respectively bought (UFO Obsessions being one of the most vivid ones that sticks in my mind) Kiss Alive was a favourite and in a time before MTV and the such like it was usually the album covers and indeed the music that kicked serious amounts of arse, Wishbone ash live dates,I could go on but the blog has to be under four thousand pages hahaha and although I hate to say it now Pink Floyd Animals I loved it at the time (I have played it since and have realised hormones really do screw you up big time) and on the strength of it I went out and bought The Wall  on the day of release and here’s the naughty thing I bought a ticket for their concert at Earls Court in the August (I have no idea, why I just did) I bought The Wall at Ten o’clock and sold it by four o’clock  I hated it with the exception of one song (Hey You) I thought the album was absolute Cack.(still do by the way)

The bug bear was I still had the concert ticket, and I knew I wasn’t going to able to off load that to anybody who I knew so I was stuck with it. The plan was a classic “I’m staying at Ath’s” (my best friend) and I knew that this wouldn’t raise too much suspicion so the plan was I was going to stay at Ath’s on the Thursday night as we had a school trip that meant I had to be there earlier than normal (we did have but I wasn’t interested in the trip so I took the paperwork home and said I would pay for the trip which technically wasn’t a lie hahaha) so the plan was put into action I didn’t know that the city hall did a trip so I even booked a trip on the national express I even paid for the ticket by postal order (the good old days) and had it sent to Ath’s house.

I was going to have to get to Newcastle Gallowgate bus station as it was an overnight bus to London that would get me to London at about eight in the morning and it wasn’t too far from the venue and if I was quick coming out the return was on the overnight bus back to Newcastle stopping off at all manner of places that I hadn’t heard of before this was going to be my biggest adventure I had only been to Newcastle by myself about a dozen times, I was really a fecking carrot cruncher, so the lie in motion I said goodbye to my mother and set off, not knowing that as I left the top of the street (can you see what’s going to happen now) Ath being the dingbat and scatterbrain that he was came up the street and came through the door as I was climbing on the bus out of Hicksville! Oops busted but this was the days before mobile phones and we certainly didn’t have a car so my mother couldn’t haul ass and kick mine back home.

I got to Newcastle in plenty of time then boarded a nearly empty bus that set off just after 11.00 at night and I was like a kid (hang on I was a kid) on Christmas eve and I stayed awake through all the stops watching people getting on and off, snoozing and generally witnessing life for the first time without the aid of a safety net. We got to London just after seven to a lovely sunny day (that didn’t last) I found a cafe and had my first ever encounter with a full English, I wandered the streets, not to far I just wanted to find my bearings and I enjoyed my first ever Friday in London, the day I have to admit was quite uneventful, around dinner time I joined the queue for the gig so as not look like a fish out of water (which I was) and thankfully had a canny day with people who I don’t remember their names although I do remember them, they could have been a bunch of miserable twunts but they weren’t and we were soon let in and sat through the gig, which if I’m honest I didn’t really get! As a spectacle it was great, but I was bored and was thinking of the travel back to the heathen lands in the north. I left just before the end and was the first person on the bus and I was asleep before we hit the suburbs, the trip back was nothing, the thrill was gone, I arrived back in a wet and windy Newcastle to be shook awake by the bus driver, I made my way to Malbourgh Crescent to get a bus home and bounced through the door to be met by my mother who bounced me straight back out as I didn’t have time to lie to say that the trip was great etc, I was busted bang to rights and she read me the riot act I was grounded for the weekend, I promised I wouldn’t do it again and we got on with our lives.

The problem was I had bought a ticket to see Kiss at Wembley arena in four weeks time how the hell was I going to do this, I mean a promise is a promise and to my mother too! It was decided I would do the only honourable thing and ....LIE!

Nearly four weeks after the Floyd gig I was laying the ground rules with Ath because we were going to use the same lie except I was actually staying at Ath’s on the Sunday night, Because both Ath’s parents worked and were out the door before we got up they didn’t see me get the bus to Newcastle and wander up to the city hall as I had realised that it was easier to go with the City Hall. Again it’s at this point I should have paid more attention to the manager of the City Hall getting interviewed about the amount of people going to see Kiss in London or the fact that the Look North camera actually had me in view as I climbed the bus in the days before videos I would have loved to see the evidence, unfortunately for me my mother who watched Look North religiously say me in plain view and she prepared her punishment for my arrival home.

The journey wasn’t too bad full of older people who at the time I didn’t know but as the years went by I would recognise them stumbling around the same pubs and venues, I grabbed a window seat and was sat in amongst a group of older Scottish people who again were pleasant and took me in to the fold, one of the guys Bob asked me if I had seen Kiss before and I said I hadn’t and he advised me not look at the stage when they come on as it can get quite bright (why do I never fecking listen) the rest of the journey was good fun but I stayed in the back ground especially when the drink was being passed around I needed a clear head for the day ahead, we got there about five in the afternoon and this time we all just trooped straight to the venue, this gig was different people jumping about making lots of noise and all though I missed the support band (Girl) because of the queues to the toilets even there I could hear the boos when they did their cover that Kiss classic “Do you love me?”.

I sat in my seat with various people off the bus and then it all went black (for a few seconds) and like an idiot I stared at the stage and wallop they set off so many flash bombs I was blinded for a good five minutes (total panic) thankfully I calmed down by about track three which if memory serves me right was Strutter and the night was over in a flash, was it any good I would like to say yes, but in actual fact I never really got over the shock and awe and most of my memory is probably pieced together by the memories of the people on the bus on the way home, although I do recall that I was happy that they had done the opening track off the new album “Is that you?” again I got home on the Tuesday morning managed to get to school and  relive the previous twenty four hours and by the time I headed home I was pretty much shattered, as I got off the bus at the top of my street I knew something was wrong because I could see my mother looking for me out of her bedroom window, I hadn’t told my brother and Ath hadn’t gone to the house, how the hell did she know, all was revealed when I got through the door and she went ballistic (which in truth she deserved to) and it was also the last time my mother ever hit me.

A sorry end to a great trip away and one in which I never repeated while I was at school, my mother had a long word with Ath’s mother and she monitored my every move and for a while took me home every time I stayed (which was a lot) I only found out it was the way of proving that I stayed there and not buggered off to see some band. We got over it and finally settled into a better relationship, it was the last time I ever lied to my mother and the last time I travelled away for a gig unless I went with friends and there was a group of us, it wasn’t the fact that I had gone to these gigs , mind you she would have gone through the roof if she had ever found out that I had gone by myself, it was the fact that I had missed a couple of days at school (as if two days would have helped hahahaha) so we agreed to be (ahem) more honest with each other and we got on with our lives.

Did I ever go and see Pink Floyd again erm that would be a big fat no, but Kiss hahaha as many times as I could there’s only a few times since that I haven’t been to see them and I have never travelled out of the area again ...go figure!