Closure / Continuation.

You may have noticed my output has increased significantly over the last few weeks, this is mainly due to the fact I now get Christmas holidays for free, and I have no bloody idea what to do with my time, mainly I’m contemplating my navel, but the rest of the time its trying assist in helping the ideas scrabbling through my brain like rats gnawing in the attic escape, this is one of those ideas!

So as I travel to and from my place of work I have a lot of time on my hands simply because I’m dumb and have no idea on how to pass a driving test, no I’m not going there(well not today) but as rule I play an awful lot of music (most of it actually awful some good and some well, lets just call it nostalgic, because that’s the stuff I keep going back to)  the good and awful stuff I tend to switch off and concentrate on the music, but the nostalgic stuff yes I do listen to it, but I usually drift and think about the good old days, ok so some of them were the shit old days but hopefully you get the drift. There were two of us at school (seniors first year) who loved our music, funny how we gravitated towards each other, but I was obsessed then and I’m just as obsessed now.

Did this make me a good friend I’m not sure that it did, because as I have said in the past I only ever speak to one friend on a semi regular basis, and the others only if I enter their orbit, now I know I was a bit of (warning understatement coming) an arsehole but I was a kid, I didn’t know about life, I still don’t truth be told, but I do try these days, but then I used to fly by the seat of my pants and damn the consequences, I used to be really opiniated (so I’m told) but I didn’t realise this at the time which is probably as I left school why we all drifted, we drifted away from ourselves and most of them stuck together but I was allowed to drift further outside their sphere of influence, ok so I left home at 16 didn’t come back until I was 22 and then disappeared again to Newcastle at 26, when I was at home I wasn’t at home often, what with work and bands and well more bands and then some more bands thrown in just for the hell of it, if you get my drift, but again and I must stress this I was opiniated, I still didn’t realise this, how am I aware of this, well at my new place of work I was getting some assistance learning the systems and the girl/lady helping me (she’s 28 and younger than my youngest……..by about 3 days) happened to say, “ my mam knows you” oh oh what’s coming down the road, I panicked, thankfully there was no paternity damages forthcoming, but the conversation was interesting, it turns out her mum was two years below me, so when I was in my fifth and final year she was a third year, and she described some incidents that I was indeed involved in, things that I had long forgotten but they fell out of the story box once my memory had been jiggled, not startling, actually not worth writing about (yet) but the one word in her mums opinion was that I was “opiniated” .

Now bear in mind I had barely any contact with this person except within the confines of the school (a school with nearly 600 pupils) but she formed an opinion on me, thankfully her daughter informed her that I wasn’t like that now! Actually, I am, however I simply try harder to keep my mouth shut (I know me with my reputation) I got to thinking if that’s what someone who barely knows (but does remember me) think, what do the people who really did know think of me and is that why they no longer have any connection to me, it’s a good job I don’t overthink things other wise (erm excuse me) I could be in trouble!

I have to admit I did bump into a lovely person who I hadn’t seen in ages and we simply said hi whenever we saw each other, we had been friends in a similar circle and together in most of my classes and thankfully she has stayed the same friendly person she always was, so thankfully my interaction with her (however small) smoothed my fevered brow and I moved on, until the thought resurfaces 8 months down the line, the rats resurfaced one day on the bus before my holidays and never really went away, now everybody’s life has moved on in the 41 years since we all escaped that life called school and I would say the very few interactions I had were quite positive, but still my brain continues to drag me back towards (localised) insanity.

I know a lot of my behaviour could be construed because of my family life, we weren’t a problem family, well maybe the sons were but we had nothing in which to measure ourselves against, but my parents were the first to be divorced and we took some shit when it all kicked off mind you, when everybody else’s parents started to get divorced we dished back tenfold, so maybe that was why people thought/think that I was a dick, I have no idea, I just know for reasons only known to the world I don’t really have a lot of “old” friends!

Now that was just the preamble, to be honest I’m not a huge fan of myself, what can I say I simply don’t like me and I feel that’s imposed on me because of the sensations I get because my school friends allegedly don’t like me, in reality I have no idea why this should matter but it does, I do have friends (unfortunately we don’t see them at the moment because of the situation that we find ourselves in) but we do converse and for once its not me wanting to stay close to the shoreline, but we have for obvious reasons, I do try (sometimes maybe too hard) to get people to like me, I have no idea what I am doing socially at 58 I could quite easily hide in my shell(I know I have already used this as a blog title) for the rest of my life, my brother who was always the anti-social one has more friends these days then you could shake a stick at, I do not recognise the social person he has become, in fact he is friends with more people that I went to school with because of his (former) place of employment, so what does any of this waffle mean, I actually have no idea but at least I am waving and not drowning (at this moment in time).

If I won the lottery I would pay a fortune to get a trick cyclist (army expression go look it up) to peel me like an onion and to reconstruct me, people will say that I have “father” issues, no shit sherlock anybody who can abandon his family and have no further contact, well to be honest it blows my mind, that’s the reason I try so hard with my kids and grandkids, if I had to ask him a question I would love just to know WHY? but anyway, before anybody says anything i actually don't have to like myself , i would love to know the reason why i don't like myself, ok answers on a postcard to hehateshimself.com any that say "its because your a dick" will be discounted, that shou;d save me a fortune in stamps!

So there you go, another one about to enter the stratosphere and the blog is the gift that keeps on giving I have something 11 blogs fermenting, with 2 been disposed of as in reality time has got away from they were end of year things and well its nearly summer now, they haven’t been destroyed but lets see what happens when and we all know it will do the well runs dry! So watch the skies for more incoming I will need to apply the brakes simply so that numbers don’t suffer, I need to keep the quality (yeah right) consistent as opposed to just throwing out any old tosh …….hang on a minute!!!!! So, stay safe stay alive and until the next one (probably in about 23 minutes lol) …………..Toodles!

 

Yes the name game is in play but its not a song title……72 people responded to last one and 46 of you got it right!

My Sunday Feeling.

So, the year is under away, the holidays seem like a lifetime away, all the decorations came down quickly, life goes on, more work, more music more tragedy in people’s lives, as always, the world keeps on turning, the wife and I seem to have aged rapidly over the last 6 months, damn I/we feel old.

So, what has transpired this Sunday, as always I’m up like a daft person on a Sunday, awake before 5 but I managed to stay in bed until 6, I had to get up as I didn’t want to wake the wife who struggles to get to sleep at the best of times, she could sleep all day if you let her, however where as I fall asleep as I dive between the covers, she can still be awake at two in the morning! So I bimble downstairs in the dark as quietly as I can, I seem to make a lot of noise with each step, take my regiment of medication, that they say that I need to get through the day, sort out the dishes read the news( I know how old fashioned) turn my laptop on so I can listen to some albums digitally, have some breakfast ( a cup of tea this morning) sort the slow cooker out for this afternoons tea, and I am hot to trot around the 7, oops I forgot the washing machine, one less task for the wife when she finally rises from her drudgery, a number of albums some good some bad and some downright awful, with just the odd golden nugget in between, and yes the name game is in play.

I pottered some more trying not to raise the dead upstairs, a few more little tasks here and there , give the slow cooker a stir or two, from time to time, around 10.30 I hear the stirrings of the walking dead upstairs, I go to give some assistance, she’s still not 100% so I leave her to sort herself out, it works for us, its rare she lies as along as she did this morning hopefully it helped, around 11 the corpse comes downstairs, I can get on sorting some more  tasks, some that are a little noisier, I know my audience, its not worth the aggro, breakfast(nearly Brunch) sorted medication taken, she takes a lot more than me, and she doesn’t take all that’s prescribed, just enough to be functional, its not going to be a great day, I try to do my best, but its in her hands, I’m just the assistance,

Sandwiches for dinner/lunch, I bounce between tasks, helping the wife and watching a little tv, going back to stir the slow cooker (sausage casserole) from time to time, check a couple of blogs that I have fermenting add a few lines here and there just to keep them fresh, these are just ideas I haven’t started to write them yet, this includes the book, I have returned to a format that I was going to do eight years ago, just the format none of the writing, it has the working title of 12, that’s bound to change as the year goes on as I collate more and more material, a lot of tweaking along the way, hopefully something a little bigger than the previous books, I also need to do some investigating to see if I can still use my account on blurb and try to work out the technology to upload, as they had gone to a “user friendly” software (cough splutter) which stopped me in my tracks eight years ago, the new book looks promising if I can indeed get it published.

More bimbling along more washing of clothes and drying of said articles, more TV, a little light reading, I struggle to read paper materials unless its in natural daylight, again a visit to the opticians beckons, I shudder to think how much like Stevie Wonder I am becoming, a small snooze (honest I only blinked) for ten minutes and I’m back on my feet gathering rubbish to put in the bin, time for tea (it was lovely, the wife as I type still hasn’t had hers as she complains of a dodgy stomach) then off for a soak, ok I was in the bath all of ten minutes, then off to see my farrier as my hobbit feet are in need of some attention, its been a while but my favourite fungal infect has returned, it’s because of all the time on my feet, I have always looked after my feet it’s a habit I picked up from the army, if I look after them hopefully they will carry me to where ever I need to get to! Twenty minutes later my feet/hooves feel refreshed and again I potter on, a little more music (some of it horrific delete, delete, delete) and then time to gather my thoughts for this little missive.

The coming week beckons and its going to be a busy week thankfully, I was spared a long journey by bus and a slog by foot to carry out some work last week, so I can crack on with that, all the while I am conscious that I need to be aware of the wife’s needs, I need to be able to keep an eye on her, as at times it feels like she is drowning not waving, she has been there for me all  of these years, I am determined to be with her step by step for the coming months, there will be a couple of blogs that I need to get out (this isn’t /wasn’t one of them) in the next week or so, I keep getting side tracked , I know me with my reputation, go figure! And now tonight a couple of beers (I’m working from home tomorrow) so hopefully a little later to rise tomorrow (six would be nice) I intend to see the night out listening to a 70’s classic rock box set, some of the tracks I know some I don’t, this could be interesting!

So as Montrose rocks out, I can only bring the blog to a close, the numbers have been great, and thank you for all of the kind words after the last blog, I’m fine, it would appear that I am more fragile than I used to be, must be an age thing, keep spreading the word, click like do whatever you do as the numbers are heading higher than they have in a long time, so until the next one, take care stay alive and most importantly stay safe, until then……….TOODLES!

All Shook Up.

 

The name game is in play but its an album title so that should make it easier for you all.

Today I was attacked, sounds messy, it could have been, but the more I think about it I’m not sure, here is the tale of woe! I returned to work today, I’m a bus wanker and I expected to see lots of unhappy faces, there was three of us, so for once the bus ran on time and I even managed to get the earlier bus to my place of work, it doesn’t drop me off at the doors, like my usual bus, but I don’t mind the hike its not that far (feels like it at times).

I had a list and I literally wanted to crack on, headphones on and heads down, I cracked on until lunch time, I didn’t make small talk, its frowned upon allegedly, well only for those not in the click (I’m not in the click) Lunch was eaten, it was a simple sandwich put together by my fair hands, it was adequate, but not special, I wasn’t inspired either making it or eating it, I cracked on some more, I then headed out to catch peeps up to no good, it was sparse pickings my reputation is ruined peeps know my routine coming back off the holidays, but I enjoyed seeing people, people who help and play the game nicely, I kept walking and was soon in the centre of town, I had done more than I thought I would  have so I decided to head to the hills, back home to Gimpsville!

I had just missed the bus so decided to wait at the stop there was a few people but not tons, the line grew and then I saw the troglodytes at the base of the hill, the biggest I thought at first was drunk or off his face with something else, there were two others following in his wake but I was simply praying that they weren’t getting on my bus. They were making huge waves through people, the biggest causing chaos, the others appeared to be apologising to the destroyed masses, I didn’t think that at the time I simply thought “NUGGET”

Then around the corner came my chariot, and all of a sudden there was a lot of people crowding forward, it was like fans hiding outside a hotel as Kiss pull in to book in (ancient history maybe another blog) anyway I manged to get back to my rightful place at the front when the troglodytes pushed through the queue, to be honest I wasn’t taking any notice as I was trying to retrieve my ticket for the machine, when I was sent sprawling into the side of the bus, unfortunately I had my air buds in my hand as they were in the way of my ticket in  my jacket pocket, if I had known I was going to sent flying I would have simply thrown them in the road, save the pratt a task, they went flying and landed under the bus, my retort was a little blue, I hadn’t realised that it was the giant troglodyte, I was annoyed and slightly sore, as it was my dodgy shoulder that had been shoved, I then tried to retrieve the air buds and I was on my hands and knees under the bus, I didn’t see goliath taking offence at my witty retort, thankfully after much scrambling on the floor I retrieved my stuff, the bus driver was helpful (strange that) and as I got on the bus I saw the other two Neanderthals giving the big lad a slap (or two) and talking fiercely, on reflection I think they were trying to get him under control, as I sat down one of the ladies who had helped me said that he had been coming back to have a go at me when the other two took control and ushered him off the path towards the  garden area out of the way, I hadn’t seen this but if he had come back when I was on the floor trying to retrieve my gear he would have easily kicked me to death. Sorry but did I say how bloody big he was, oh yes he was MASSIVE!

As I reflected on the way home, was he drunk or was he on an illegal substance, there is a local gated community (prison) quite close to where I get my bus and the first thing they do is get rat arsed, but it was the other two and how they responded, it was like they were trying to  herd cats uphill literally, was he an outpatient, were the other two carers, and I use the term loosely, there is a mental health facility on the route home were they trying to get him on the bus to get him there, he definitely didn’t want to get on the bus, and he was angry, really angry as he trooped up the hill it gave me cause for concern thinking please god let me get on and get the hell out of his way, they were giving him some tough love out the public eye, maybe he needed it, again as I reflected on the ride home, I am way too old for this shit, he would have ripped me limb from limb, and these days I couldn’t fight my way out of a paper bag, actually make that a wet paper bag! I do the journey there and back every day, I hope if he is a client of the mental health facility, that he doesn’t remember me, oops!

What is actually going on in the world people are generally just so aggressive all the time, you see people all the time in the news, simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time, today that was very nearly me, beware they walk amongst us! I’m fine just a little sore, but I am most days so it’s nothing new, I hadn’t intended to write this blog as I had intended to something different, something I hadn’t done before (and still haven’t) that one might rear its head by the weekend, fingers crossed.

So, there you have it I told you I have the bit between my teeth, I have also been collating ideas, I had a great one in my head as I drifted off to sleep last night and in my head I said I would remember it, what I do remember is a voice in the back of my head shouting “DUMBASS” yes you guessed it I forgot it, ah well you win some you lose some, so once more a blog arrives like a ninja in the night I hope you enjoy it, but watch the skies for more incoming keep spreading the disease as the last one did great numbers, here’s hoping that this one will do the same, so until the next one…………….Toodles!

DEF CON ONE.

 

Warning incoming I am at DEF CON ONE!

This is a warning, I am on a roll, I am inspired, today whilst it has been an eye opener, the writing bug has been lit and is well and truly about to go off like an Apollo rocket, let me explain.

The intention for the last 12 days was to carry out a lot of small tasks (well I thought they were small) and I got distracted, the wife is struggling with life, I won’t bore anybody with the details, those close to us know and understand, there are some incredibly hard times ahead of us, and all I can do is man the tiller and point her in the right direction.

Life has been and is still incredibly shit, but my intention is to be a pillar of support, its no surprise the list of tasks that I wanted to complete, simply hasn’t happened, I have made a start but I feel like the third Reich in the middle of a bad Russian winter, I haven’t been lazy, simply I have been dodging curveballs, all for the sake of the wife, who is drowning not waving, but damn she is still fighting and has no intention of going down, bless her.

Music has played a big part of my twelve days holiday, and no you don’t have to guess, the name game is a band not a song, although I have used their song titles in the past for the blog! I played their music and that set the ball roll bouncing down the road, although my preferred music is melodic, AOR, Prog type of stuff I do have a dark past dating back all the way to 1977 when punk exploded and I like some thing loud and fast, anyway one of the tasks I set myself was to log and give a short description of the blogs, I’m trying to avoid duplication of titles and subject matter, however I have to read them and try and work out what the hell was going on in my mind at the time and to work out were the titles come from (about 95% are song titles) the rest are plucked from god knows where!

As I started pulling the ideas together for this, I am playing the only Signal album (Loud and Clear)  and drinking copious amounts of Buffalo Trace ( I don’t do small measures) because I have had to read the blogs to do a summary, I have fell back into good times and bad, recollecting some fab times (and not so fab times) with some awesome people and one or two bullies (they know who they are) a job I thought would take two to three days has so far taken two full days and I am only up to July 2012, talk about falling down a rabbit hole. What it has done though has inspired me to set down a number of plans writing wise, firstly I do intend to complete a new book at some point this year, with all new material, you heard it here first, I might even resurrect my original story that I still tinker with although I am stuck in quick sand as I do feel at times that it is generic(it’s not I just keep second guessing myself, damn where’s my editor when I need her, she’s a lady you know) I do intend to blog more frequently (sorry peeps) and no this isn’t alcohol induced, I have realised how much blogging has helped my state of mind, so I do intend to crack on.

I had intended to do a couple of minor blogs before the end of the year but life stepped in and kicked our arses, the intention is too still do them over the next couple of days so watch this space, they might come thick and fast over the next couple of days, but hopefully will settle down to one blog a week, just like the old days, to do this we need to have a social life so this may prove awkward, but with a willing heart the intention is to keep to my promise, the tee Hee Club will rise again dammit! the first couple wont do fantastic numbers because of the subject matter, but I feel I need to get them out, so don’t say that you haven’t been warned!

So,have the holidays been any good? To be honest I have no idea, we have been mired with the shite we call life, but we are here, medical matters from all corners are the order of the day at least I’m not top of the list for once, so watch the skies, spread the disease/word, the blog is back and hopefully biting, yes there will be some historical ones, I have the bit between my teeth and feel the desire to write and then write some more, musically and historically I do believe there is a rich vein of material to be recovered, onwards  and hopefully upwards and not sidewards, can I just say I know this is going to be our toughest year, its going to end in tears we know this, but its how we conduct ourselves through those tears, it indicates the strength of purpose and the type of people we are, we will not be beaten, we will crack on, no matter the shit that is going to come our way, and I will indeed blog about it, “Bob” withstanding intend to be the rock that helps the wife through these dark times ahead,  so until then stay safe stay alive and until the next one…………………………..Toodles!

Four on the Floor – Christmas Special Volume 1.

These will be slightly shorter versions of what you normally see in these blogs, and not what peeps expect from me! And its actually 5 this time around.

 

A Merry Axemas – A Guitar Christmas Volume 1 – 7/10.

Originally released in 1997, this a little beauty has 12 awesome players having some fun with a yuletide flavour, the only track I don’t care for is the Joe perry track, nothing wrong with the playing it simply doesn’t float my boat, there was a volume two but this is my preferred playing, go on have some fun over Christmas!

 

Twisted Sister – A Twisted Christmas – 3/10.

I’m a huge fan of the band but not of this album I have a friend who loves plays it on the morning of Christmas day, I think he does it to annoy his family, I played it, I didn’t hate it but its not for me or is it for everybody’s taste, at least they did it with a sense of humour but no thanks……NEXT!

Jethro Tull - The Jethro Tull Christmas Album – 8/10.

At last someone not taking the piss, some original (new) songs mixed with classics and not done tongue in cheek, this definitely wont be everybody’s cup of tea, but if you feel the need for some festive cheer this is a good place to start, I ignored it first time round 19 years ago but it does creep back in usually at this point in December, fill yourselves full of Christmas cheer.

 

Blackmores Night - Winter Carols – 9/10.

I love this album, I am a huge fan of the group, I like what Mr B does in almost all bands he has played in, but this seems like fun, the album has been issued a number of times since 2006, the best version is the 2021 version as it’s a double disc, again if you don’t like the band this wont do anything to fix that its more of the same, quality music well produced, a nice fire a large glass of something slightly alcoholic and a book to read with this in the background you maay be pleasantly surprised, I know I was, me being a carbon copy of the grinch well I was until I heard this album!

 

Glenn Hughes - A Soulful Christmas – 0/10.

Avoid avoid avoid, I love the guy and out of all the albums he has released this is the only one I hate,  that’s as much as I wish to say about it, I actually prefer the Twisted Sister album to this, thankfully the only blip in a glorious career!

A Day in the Life, Part 21170.

 

It was all going so smoothly, that was until “Bob decided he was going to pay me a visit! Thankfully he was scared away by my bravado and a certain amount of bad attitude. I had been happy as a rule, for the last couple of weeks, not giddy as a school girl, but my mood and demeanor was “up” the blog on all fronts was motoring along, work was ……”Meh” could be worse could be better, life at home was, slightly difficult due to certain things going on in the background, but I was there to offer support to who ever wanted or needed it, medically life was as crap as ever, again I was simply going with the flow, there isn’t a lot I can do until I finally get my first appointment to the new clinic for my issue (ahem lets not go there) I was discharged from the broken hoop clinic in August 2022 and pushed to another clinic and I finally got my first appointment at the weekend for …….wait for it ……March 2023, WTF! Anyway there’s nothing I can do about it (admittedly I was giving them until January and then I was going to unleash the wife on their asses) to be honest by the time I get to see the new clinic and Dr’s it will be exactly eight years since the condition started, so no I’m not going to lose any sleep over it, I don’t think they will find an answer for it and I believe it’s something I will simply have to live with or its so serious and rare its going to kill me! Although to be brutally honest I think it would have finished me off by now, my arse is like a rag mans trumpet most days but at least the uncontrollable burping has been brought to heel with yet more medication, I seem to rattle when I walk/hobble!

I didn’t get upset, I didn’t wail, I simply shrugged my shoulders and went with it, I was still in an all-right frame of mind, the last blog was doing slow numbers but still climbing that rocky hill called statistics, the grandson had returned home, we were finally getting the passage and bathroom painted by a professional (my weak body simply couldn’t cope, why struggle for hours when I can get a professional to complete it in under 12 hours over two days). We set about sorting the rooms out (how much crap do we have) and getting it stored in the two bedrooms and the dining room (again how much crap) I should really just hire a skip, the wife would kill me, actually with the way that my body is behaving that might not be a bad thing! As it happens it was painted a lot quicker than we put the house back to shape (6 days and counting ….baby steps) the weekend came and went but on the Sunday night there was a gloom hanging over me and I had no idea why, sleep did not arrive as quickly as it normally does, when it did arrive I was restless and was woken a number of times and I did doze off back to the land of nod, so unlike me, while still being restless, once awake I rarely go back to sleep, this time I did and after around 3 and a half hours sleep (I’m sad I keep a record for which ever clinic I end up in, as apparently it all matters) I got up feeling decidedly grumpy, not unusual after a crap night’s sleep.

Bob stalked me through the house, not making direct contact but looking for a weakness some way that he could drag me back down in to the depths of my own stupidity, I put my coat on and headed off to be a bus wanker, I decided once on the bus that I was going to play some music and I started with the Queen discography starting with the debut and going through it chronologically (I know I’m sad) 3 songs in and “Bob” was left behind as if he had never been there, never underestimate the power of music, I worked all day and got through to The Miracle before calling it a day, as I got off the bus home I bumped into an old work mate (who retired a few years ago) and he said he hadn’t seen me so happy for ages, music really does indeed sooth the soul, the thing that worries me just a tad is how silently “Bob” crept up on me with great speed, the good thing though is how fast he was banished, by the time Great King Rat kicked in I was happy, I think the reason that I have been happier of late is simply the amount of music I am playing, I did enjoy the day, unfortunately I can’t play music all day every day, as much as I would like to.

And so to a new week work is still the same, today I decided to go through Ozzy’s discography although I skipped over The Ultimate Sin, there are some nice tracks on it I’m simply not a fan, one day I will work out why( because its cack) the day has passed uneventfully I was cooking before 8 (slow cooker delight for tea) at my desk in my little office space for just after 08.30 and kind of pottered on, an early night tonight as I have a very tight schedule tomorrow so the only time for music will probably be on the journey to and from work, as it stands it really is all good in the hood, and you all thought that this was going to be doom and gloom, it wasn’t it was just how I felt at the time.

There will be a couple of blogs quite quickplay irrespective of numbers (I do have a tendency to still follow how this does) the numbers will probably run into each other but it is what it is, they will be quick fire type of blogs, those who have followed me will recognise the formats, I don’t intend to stray far of my beaten path! So, while this one has arrived later than expected there will be about three over the next fortnight or so, the weekend beckons and I have as always, many cunning plans to resolve before the next blog arrives, the games afoot, I’m in a good frame of mind and am actually looking forward to “The Holiday” maybe I might simply blog about that, some research before I pull the trigger on that particular scab! So, until the next one stay safe, stay alive, do whatever you need to do to enjoy this time of the year, watch the skies for more incoming and keep spreading the disease, the blogs are picking up speed at a pleasant pace, lets go have some fun, until the next one……………Toodles!

Oh yes and while I remember the name game is in play and is really simple nobody should have to google it I have used it before, it’s the number that’s the complicated bit, let’s see how clever any of you are, I doubt that you will be able to get an answer from Google this time!

 Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Old Money.

So yesterday I awoke early (as usual) to have a lazy day, I had some breakfast, played some music (actually played tons of music)I read some emails and then decided to see how the great unwashed were doing, imagine my surprise when I clicked on Farcebook to see a number of birthday greetings……for me …WTF, I’m not against people enjoying their birthdays, it’s just that I don’t celebrate the day, if I am at work I always take the day off so I don’t growl at people wishing the best wishes for the day, since the age of eight I have probably celebrated it maybe five times, its complicated but for good reason, not that it happens often, as its meant to be a closely guarded secret, if you know, you are supposed to sign the official secrets act, the penalty is instant death for the well-wishers, Farcebook strikes again, I will have to double check my settings (again) to be honest I wasn’t too bothered and after reading the messages from all of the lovely people,actually made me happy……ish. So, I will let you all off this time, any more of these shenanigans and there will be some severe punishment for all of the repeat offenders.

So its official I can be classed as “Old Money” and yes the name game is in play, what has come to mind is how tired and wiped out that my body feels like, my knees are shot, I have a hip that’s playing up, and generally my diabetes is still kicking my arse on a daily basis, not to mention the gut and arse issue that has been plaguing me for over seven years and then the aches and pains from my fall earlier in the year not to mention the other falls that I have had in the last eight weeks, damn I must be old as I keep falling over, it’s not all assassination attempts by the wife and family, as I was contemplating my naval yesterday I realised that I had been working in some way or another for nearly 50 years (damn I feel so old).

My father left the family home when I was seven nearly eight, my brother three years older than me got a paper round and gave all the money to our mother to help out the household, not that she wanted to take it, as he proved his worth he took over more of the rounds and made more and helped more, aware that I was a drain I went to the same shop and asked for a paper round, Alan Wilkinson took pity on me and said no, but if I was interested I could help the ladies in the shop humping and dumping, little tasks that I got 50 pence for the Saturday he soon realised that me and my brother were good workers, we went from there, I was soon organizing the cellar storeroom to be honest it was a tiny space and I loved it I sorted out all of the stock, doing it by Best before dates, even by the age of the ten I was organized, as I got to eleven I started doing afternoon papers, again doing more than one round, I know my mother hated taking money from her children, but we had to help, there was very little help for single mothers in that day and age,.

My brother and I soon cornered the market for all of the Sunday papers in our village and then helping a family friend with minor building works, small demolition works and the such like, we were  quite industrious, maybe it also caused me to have a small (cough splutter) chip on my shoulder that I didn’t notice at the time, but looking back, damn I was so annoying, I discovered music and girls and so the shop  work and paper rounds came to a crashing finish, me petulant, damn right I was, I figured I was been taking for a mug, in reality I wasn’t I was simply approaching burn out and something had to give and it wasn’t going to be either music or the girls! So, I then left school on the Thursday and went in the army on the Friday, I had my placement from the age of thirteen (I was keen) well that went belly up, they got me a job with a local firm which didn’t last more than a couple of months as they really were taking the piss, I got a great job with the National Coal Board in their Forestry department, which I loved but again shenanigans ended that job, nothing to do with me, simply budgets and skull doggery on the managers part, he simply wasn’t honest, I wish he had been as I prefer that, it’s a theme that runs through my life, funny that!

I then did a number of jobs some declared, some not, and in-between I started my short but illustrious career as a songwriter, well ok lyricist, well ok wordsmith at a push, but I had some fun made some money, saw tons of bands and generally was in a better place than I realised, considering all of the shit that had gone on before, I then met my first wife and I got a job working with my future father in law who was gobsmacked when I told him I had taken a significant pay cut to work with him, that shut him up, and then the “plagiarism” raised its ugly head, I was twenty one and dumb I have told the story before so won’t rehash the story, go find it in the old blogs, I soon had no income and had bought a house, so I jumped at the first job I could, I was there for 35 years and went from being a grunt at the very bottom to nearly making it to the top of the tree(well top five and then I hit the glass ceiling). I also had some part time work if there was no overtime, and I roadied for a couple of local bands, mates and the such like, at my main place of employment I worked hard over seventy hours a week, again I have told the tale, read the old blogs, I simply wanted to do my best, I was then discarded as I was costly, they got rid of all the old timers as our T&C’s were too good for the administrators, cue panic, three interviews later I got a new job and I know simply go with the flow, I don’t love it like my last job but that’s the way life goes, as always the world keeps spinning.

So, now I have been in my new position for nearly two years, I realise that my body probably wont last into retirement , that is the main reason I simply do my hours and no more, well that and the fact that the wife isn’t too well, her mother is in a worse condition and the grandson has issues, there is only so much I can do to help, I wish I could do more but those days are done, I really am old money, at least my mental health is a damn sight better than it was, I miss my friends and yesterday made me realise I actually do have friends, I don’t ride the wings of solitude, I probably don’t help myself as I am terrible at keeping in touch, I feel as though I will just be a burden, people have enough issues without my (perceived) issues being added to them, as I alluded to earlier in this blog we have some issues ongoing so its best that we keep to ourselves, it wont last forever, but family must come first.

As a treat for my special day me and the wife were going to go to a record fair, however it got cancelled for the bloody world cup, I have no idea when it will be rescheduled, more than likely we will be in our own insular bubble, as it happens we did some food shopping, did a care visit to the mother in law, then came home and chilled, more music, some tv and a late night, we climbed the wooden hill, as usual I was asleep before the wife even got sorted out, and as usual I was up with the larks yet again, I think the longest night sleep I have had this year is about seven hours as I usually average between four and a half to five hours , even when I am not at work, I tend to keep the wife company as she is a night owl and suffers with sleeplessness, anyway this isn’t me bitching this is simply my observations from an unusual weekend, a friends band was playing and we really wanted to go and see them but as always family has to come first as we have the grandson staying with us.

So, the world keeps turning, we are alive and well and I have partaken in my fifty eighth journey around the sun, who knows I might even celebrate the next one, it was a lovely warm feeling for so many people to take time out of their busy days to wish me the original grumpster a hiccy burpday, thank you one and all, I don’t think I will get another 58, but here’s hoping though, and there you have it a slight detour from the blog I was thinking about, well only slightly, so watch the skies for incoming, keep spreading the disease numbers are consistent so we are doing something right, until the next time, stay safe and stay alive, until then Toodles!