Choices.

It would appear that I am being spoilt for choice in just about every department of my life, this has come as quite a surprise, for once in my life it seems that I get to choose, when did this happen? And why did I simply stumble onto the fact by mistake?

Ok so this isn’t the blog I intended, I had a great musical one percolating, then a couple of others popped into circulation and I worked hard at them all and they will see the light of day sooner rather than later, this one won out, I have no idea why it just did! The last blog did great numbers and as always thank you for the kind words, they do help make a difference.

I am back on my own two feet, quite literally, it’s a glorious feeling, but its still quite painful, I will live with it though for the sake of my mobility, I’m still not firing on all cylinders but I am trying to keep an even keel, I’m having good days more than bad, but I still feel like hammered crap, the NHS is great but damn this taking ages to even get anywhere near a first step. Having said that I don’t intend to be beaten as always, its onwards.

I seem to be making lists of things to do from blogs, books, music, food, jobs I need to do, Jellybeans (yes jellybeans) time off, people I don’t like (only kidding……. I think), work and so many other things some I will go over here some I won’t, ha me with my reputation!

Blogs, well I’m trying to tie these ones up and get ready for the next phase, it’s a bit of a struggle as I want to have all the good ones done and published and the rest of the ideas tied up in a box and then buried, me weird who knew?

Books, well finally I’m back to reading non work material, at the moment I’m sick of reading current legislation, standards approved codes and all the other things that go with the job, maybe I’m just feeling a bit burnt out, I think (hope) that its an age thing and after some rest I come back brighter and stronger, I’m reading mainly biography’s, musical ones its simply awesome to be able to switch off and enjoy a read of historical fancy about stuff I seem to have a great handle on already, who knew  I knew stuff, its worthless but dammit I seem to know one or two things.

Music, well I’m simply letting it wash over me, I am 11 albums into it today, I’m currently listening to Nick D’Virgillio Invisible, I am enjoying all of it, but I am trying to be eclectic, and so far I am succeeding and enjoying myself most of it is virgin territory  for me and I will go back to most of it, one or two although enjoyable I doubt I will (The Revolutionary army of the baby Jesus I certainly won’t) but its not all encompassing I am still trying to fit in with the family and be part of it, so we do watch tv and other things, I simply get up before them so I have more time on my hands!

Food, Again because of the bland days whilst being ill, I have to make sure that I don’t over do it and be a glutton on some of the nicer things, I’m finding that whilst I’m finishing my meal I’m already planning my next one I made a curry for me and my daughter last night and as I was plating it up, I was already  plotting what I was going to have for my breakfast, I’m trying to convince myself I’m being healthy but I have my doubts!

Jobs I need to do, well there are a number of tiny tasks that I have set myself to do, I simply need some get up and go to do them my ill health has knocked my self-belief and confidence, I have never been so lethargic in my life the spirit is willing but the body keeps telling me no, again its good days and bad days, my good days I can do everything, today I got up made breakfast for everyone, did the dishes and then faded, as I type this I am not long out of a soak in the bath but my get up and go has definitely gone into hiding, I’m sure it’s an age thing LOL!

Jelly beans, well I am obsessing over gourmet jelly beans and how to eat them (its my one treat) separating the flavours and then seeing if I can guess the flavours by the colour, me weird hell yeah! It’s not as easy as it sounds!

Time off, damn it I was on furlough for 78 days I really don’t want to be off, however I realise I do need some time off as I am suffering, just a tad!

People I don’t like, is actually a very small list and getting smaller by the day, life is way too short, I want a life, they certainly will not be thinking about me, why should I waste my time on them, not that I really ever did, I simply had a few good sound bites (a grudge is for life not just for Christmas and a few others) trouble is its all bullshit, as I already said life is too short, the one person who I really should hate ( you will have to guess) I don’t even think about them at all, I simply want to be the best person I can be and I don’t want hate to be part of my make-up, that’s not to say I won’t be hateful and petty at some junctions of my life I’m simply hoping that they won’t last, after all I am only human.

Work, I love my job and most of the people who I work with but it is all encompassing I really do need to try and break the chains of self-confinement (of my own making) work is not the be all and end all, if I don’t give my head a shake there is the potential for me to burn out and lose what I have about my job which helps me tick, about the only positive thing that I have, for me with no other involvement, I know what I mean you guys might not, this is definitely an age thing!

The lists go on and on and I seem to make my choices, so far so good (not) I’m not perfect but more of a work in progress ( a little like this blog) one foot in front of another, and one day at a time good times and bad moments all rolled into one.

So, there you go another blog another slight detour, however I think its getting to the end game and no amount of pleading (from all over this small blue pearl) is going to change that, there will be the odd blog to keep you the discerning reader up to date with goings on, and trust me I want the Tee Hee Club to rise up like a phoenix (although the wife and my working rota needs to line up like the planets) life is what it is and always I want to thank the people that help get me through my day at work and outside of work most of these people may not have a clue but you do keep me on the straight and narrow, if not for you lot I would be a bitter and horrible (more than I am now) person.

Watch the skies for incoming, I’m off for 13 out of the next 16 days so there will more incoming, lets get the written word out there, until the next time…...Toodles!