Happiness is..........................

Who knows what the hell happiness is; I for one have absolutely no idea what it is, to each and everybody else it’s something different and for me to tackle something as huge a subject as this it must mean I have either become very philosophical or I have as usual pulled one word out of the hat that is my folder for blog ideas and have decided to just run with it, let’s see how short this ends up (there that’s me being positive)!

Although quite a few people say that I’m a miserable bastard (well ok mainly the wife to my face) I like to think that all though I know I do have that demeanour, I like to think that even after all the trials and tribulations that is my life I am indeed a happy camper, I strive everyday to wake up and be happy no matter what is going to happen through the course of the day I know I have to start as happy as I possibly can.

Now does this happen I have to admit 99.9% of the time yes it does, sometimes and this is very rarely (usually because I feel sickly or have a raging headache) I do indeed pull my weary body from my pit and start the day with happiness in my heart (what a fecking hippy) now it does depend on the general levels of happiness around me as too how long I stay happy but all in all I do try to stay positive for as long as possible. Even at work which to be honest can be quite stressful I keep on an even keel, I might not walk around with a stupid grin on my face (I really would be a hippy then wouldn’t I) but I do like to think of me as being a cheery person!

The main reason I don’t walk around with a grin on my face is well lets be blunt the stumps in my mouth called teeth, I am a child of the sixties and when I was poorly (I was a sickly child in my youth) I was given the elixir’s of the day which had industrial strength sweeteners in them too make them more palatable for us kiddies to swallow and swallow them I did as I wasn’t a fan of being sick, that I’m afraid where the problem lies as because of the toxic nature of said elixir’s they stripped the enamel of my teeth making them very hard to keep clean and as I get older it gets worse, I was told by my childhood dentist that I would be very lucky to keep my teeth past the age of forty (and here at fifty two ….cough splutter) I still have most of them however bad they may be I don’t relish the thought of all the torture that could be pushed onto to me to make them more palatable just for the sake of a photograph) and to this day although my dentist was a kindly old man, I still have a pathological fear of the dentist (so much so I ran away from home at the age of seven only to be handed over to the police by Denise Welch and her mum yes that Denise Welch because they thought I had ran away from the local Barnado’s) when my childhood dentist retired I never went to another dentist for over four years, it was only that I did indeed break a tooth  and I went to the chap at my place of work and I have been fortunate to have another kindly dentist(god knows what I will do when he retires) but I digress, I’m also not a fan of having my photograph (I like to think that I have a face for radio)taken, one because of my weight (of which I’m sure that I will cover that in more depth at some point) and two because of my teeth I have a tendency to do a Freddie Mercury and hide my mouth whenever I can, Even when I had my official photographs done for work (yes for my press release darlings I’m a man of importance didn’t you know hahahaha!) so I do intend to stay behind the camera as often as possible .

My friends make me happy I hate to see them down in the dumps (not that I can do much to cheer them up but I’m always here for them) that is why The Tee Hee Club is so important to me and everything that we do really does make the difference ( I better make an appointment with a doctor I really think I am turning into a fecking hippy) I will admit to having a black cloud hanging over me (and I hate to admit this ...not really ) the wife has pulled me out of the doldrums and pointed (kicked me in the seat of the pants more likely) me in the right direction and to her I really am most grateful to her for putting up with miserable face for so long hahaha!

I have to admit that drink does also cheer me up not really sure on that one as to why it should but I’m sure I shall keep studying it for quite a while to come just to make sure it is actually the drink and not my usual cheery disposition and I’m sure there will be plenty of students to assist me with my studies. Although my diabetes keeps me from partaking as much as I would like simply because everything tastes YUK!

Food is another thing that makes me happy (or is it) I usually feed my face when I am down in the dumps and I suppose that the guilt or happiness at the end of it takes off the glow hahahaha but it is happening less and less that’s me feeding my face when I’m down in the dumps that is, I will admit to being down in the dumps sometimes and when I am in a funk leave me be, let me drift it doesn’t take long for me to drag myself from the merry depths of hell and as I said before (although again the wife might disagree) I’m usually a happy go lucky chap.

Now there are three things do make me happy (probably a few more but these are the most consistent that I care to mention) my family for one and I know I bitch and moan about them including the eldest but hey they have given (and hopefully) and will give me more happy times to come, even the wife the lunatic that she can be (however if she keeps turning into the Kraken her arse will be out the door hahaha!) would I change anything yeah one or two things, actually things that I have done more than my actual friends or family, I still think about things that happened as far back as school which because I was a stroppy little brat things might have been different, mind you I don’t have many friends or people that I knew in school in my life, maybe I wasn’t the centre of the universe I thought I was, there’s people from school I still miss, they really were the good days, that includes the girls as well as the boys! but hey it’s a work in progress so let’s just see how the boat floats down that particular river, Music has been first and foremost the most consistent thing in my life I can remember quite vividly my brother getting Deep Purple’s Fireball for Christmas and loving it right there and then, it started there and here we are forty years down the line and I still love music it’s the one thing (and it drives the wife around the bend) that me and my brother chat about we will talk about how many times a cup of tea was stirred by the third engineer on the demo of a particular song before it was recorded on the other side of the world as an obscure b side from an obscure band that we love, we are not harming anybody and if it keeps me in touch with my brother I say bring it on. Very close behind music comes reading (and writing I know a cheeky forth but hey if you’re not happy go write your own blog) again something that I have done as a child, but at times it’s been like some of my old friends we drift apart but we always come back together, I don’t have the appetite that I had when I was younger sometimes five or six books on the go with all the legal stuff I have to read for work, I think that has taken some of the fun out of reading but because all of a sudden I have taken to writing (well if your reading this then you already know) and with all the reading that I have been doing this ( I bet there will still be about twenty thousand mistakes in each blog/book hopefully it will add to the roguish charm if I ever get a proper publisher, hey a boy can dream then an editor will certainly help) at the end of the day I’m doing this to make me happy (which is funny as I have stayed  on topic for a change) do I think the writing that I’m doing now will ever reach the giddy heights of what my first blog site did, no I don’t think it will although my new blog site (my third) is hitting triple figures I suppose I have to be happy with my lot, it might not be the cosmopolitan crowd that I used to get however I also don’t have to put up with the redneck infestation that I have had in the past.

So as you can deduce happiness is many more things to others that it can ever be for me but I don’t really care I strive to be a happy camper for as long and as often as I possibly can be, so if you do see me out an about and I look as though I’m a miserable bastard trust me I’m not as long as you don’t ask to have a photograph taken (I’m a media whore darlings) I’m ok but then again if you don’t believe me you only have to ask, mind you as I stated  earlier don’t ask the wife because she thinks’ I’m a miserable bastard at the best of times! If you are a person from my paste (male or female) say hello. I’m not being ignorant I genuinely as blind as my parents, I’m happy to say hello to anybody in my past, I carry no grudges anymore (real or otherwise as life is way too short unless your my father and then I hope you are getting buggered in some old folks home!) so until the next time…………Toodles