Monday, 25 July 2016

The Devil Made Me Do It!


Time moved on as did the world spinning out there in the darkness, me I had promised another blog so I had better pull my finger out!

I thought I had discovered a great set of headphones for the plague carrier, I was unhappy with the ear buds that I had been using, I was so wrong they were too small for my petite ears (no I do not look like a copy of the FA Cup) they soon wound their way to the youngest, disappointment raised its ugly head I would just have to make do with the fabulous sport of bus seat bingo! But more of that in a while, as I had said life moved on, the yard furniture was sorted out and we tried it out at least once, the others may have tried it a bit more, hey ho that’s the summer done isn’t it?

Somewhere along the way a friend reached out, they weren’t having the best of times thankfully after we had conversed there seemed to be some light at the end of the tunnel, it’s not just me that has issues, if you can lend a hand do so you never know when you might need a friendly shoulder to lean on, then up the wooden stairs to my pit later than I normally would, but a good deed does need to be done.

The next morning, I was already at the plague carrier preparing for an Olympic effort in bus seat bingo I was attempting a six seat segue, its where you pick a seat that will cause the most upset on an early bus, a journey that people have been making for so long that they consider that seat to be their own, well seat picked it was hilarious to see that their heads nearly exploded, I then waited until that the bus was in motion and I moved seats “because the sun was in my eyes” the driver doesn’t see me make my move but he does see the six people scuttling to snatch there coveted thrones back, he slammed the brakes on and has a right hissy fit , I struggled so much to keep my giggle fit in, I’m not positive but I’m sure a little wee escaped, funny yes, however I just might need the use of the FBI to protect me again lol.

Back to work and the pace picked up, twice I went to work wearing my reading glasses this renders me nearly blind, so people who know me have to jump out in front of me, even then I know I still struggle to confirm that it’s actually me that they are waving (sorry Brother Norm) at, I can only hang my head in shame, hahaha and I do quite frequently, you really do have to rugby tackle me if you want my attention, if my own mother was still she would testify to that fact!

A duty manager shift thankfully flew over and then the coveted weekend was here, I was still reeling from the effects of the tonsillitis and to make matters worse early Saturday morning (about three ish) I experienced the worst case of calf cramps, as I pirouetted around our cramped bedroom trying to make as little noise as possible as we had the Hurricane staying, I literally cried with the pain, here we are on Monday night still in pain but the wife put on her nurses uniform on and massaged my calf’s informing me I had a huge stiffness in my left leg (down boys & girls) what a fantastic job she did, life keeps kicking me in the bollocks with all of these “Little Gifts” I do believe I have exclaimed in the past “getting old is shit”

Saturday I sulked and hobble around the house in pain, but cunning plans were afoot and they did indeed perk me up, now I need to collate weather information as a part of my job at work and for the last 6 days I was being told that Sunday was indeed going to be “Rainy” however my sources from the Shields posse were telling the wife “no come on down it will be fine”! You can see where this is going can’t you, well actually as we left Gimpsville it was actually alright however it got grimmer as we headed to the coast, it did fair up but it means that we had to change cunning plan number 3247, we went to Porters (come on boys and girls it will always be Porters) for lunch it was fab but I felt guilty as I didn’t want a pudding so I felt like I guilted everybody else, not the case, I was honestly just full, meal over we headed to the coast (I mean further along the coast) not before driving past Bents Park to see if we could get Mr Tony Hadley (as he was playing) to sing Musclebound to no avail! I thought I stood a chance, mind you if I can’t get the Buckets to do California Man without bribing them with Jagermiester, I didn’t have a burger to throw at Mr H , I kept a stiff upper lip we ended up at Marsden and we decided to have an ice cream then ended up following the imperial Japanese army as they tried to invade the caves of (Okinawa) Marsden grotto and we had another drink (non-alcoholic) because we are good boys and girls (cough splutter) the crack flowed and we ended back at the lair of the royal flight, and for some reason I was really popular with the royal hounds!

An introduction to Lucifer (oh fuck not you two again) and the day was done we headed back to Gimpsville and yes the weather actually had been good, well for the time of the year what were you expecting the sky to be split? Off to bed and then back to work today which to put bluntly my get up and go had got up and fucked right off, I di plenty I just didn’t really enjoy it, strange that because I do love my job! So that’s the blog, keep spreading the disease, numbers are good not great (they all die off in the summer for some reason) more coming soon but until then enjoy your life, this ain’t a practise you only get one go, and if you can help a soul please do you will find that it makes you feel so much better, until the next time Toodles!

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