What a week, work as always has been........busy, but now I am attempting to have some holiday time to myself (if you remember I cancelled March's due to a lack of interest) this will be short and hopefully sweet, these batteries need to be recharged, I have a game plan, but its mine not yours so I will keep it to myself if it's ok with you lot!
This will also be the last time I address the rumours that I am indeed suicidal, I'm not, I have been before, but although I do have darkness out there on the perimeter, this is me as happy as I get without a lottery win! after the last blog I was again inundated with emails and even bumped into a few readers at work, who were concerned for my health, if it's coming across that I'm a demented loon, I can live with that, however a suicidal demented loon couldn't be any further from the truth!
Am I generally unhappy? yes I suppose I am, but today I am ok, I would love to get off the merry go round of debt and drama, but it is what it is, I do have a cunning plan, but as I said before it's mine and when it comes to fruition you will all be the first to know about it, today shall spent in the company of some dear friends and off to see that rather large Scotsman Fish. The rest of the week we shall see, Whitesnake for at least one date and my plan for happiness is to try and go back to work for Thursday depending on my state of mind, because it does appear that there is actually a clarity there that doesn't exist at home which I like.
The drama is the main contention that is getting me down, some people can't draw breath without wanting an argument, and so if it continues then I will be back to work as quickly as my little legs will carry me, I'm not getting any younger and I have bit my lip for far too long I can feel (the hulk's) rage building and I really don't want it to blow, because the fallout affects everybody, I'm feeling selfish, is that wrong of me? instead of thinking of others I want to think of me, myself, I. but it's me time that I crave, I like the solitude and the silence (no drama basically)I'm getting to the end of my rope Kowtowing to people who actually mean nothing to me at all, and they never have done! I have bit my lip for the sake of others and well let's not go there this is meant to be a happy blog!
Reading and writing is the order of the week, I have some seeds to be planted and not of the dark variety I'm hoping to do a few short happy ones this week, so be prepared for incoming rapid fire I feel I need to shake off this cloak of darkness that has seeped into everything, hey if people are coming to see me at work because they are worried hahahahaha, although one person (with a camera)who I don't get to see anywhere near enough, had some very kind words that gave me hope for this blue spinning pearl.
So that's me done and dusted for now today a walk would be nice, some better weather, some good friends some good drink and a bloody tall Scotsman, what more could I ask for. OK for me to be happy, but that's what I'm striving to be (today at least) once again I thank you for all of the kind thoughts and salutations, I'm fine it's you lot that's fucked until next time, watch those cloudless skies........Toodles!
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