Coma

You would expect one of those earth shattering experiences that come round once in a blue moon to be imprinted into your brain for it to be fried with such intensity that you can/should remember every single second....it’s not always that way, some gigs I could even tell you what colour socks the road crew were wearing (OK so a slight exaggeration) and others I look at people with complete shock when they say that I was actually there, OK so those are few and far between. The gig I’m going to write about here is supposed to be an epic (I do have the bootleg somewhere and I still don’t remember half of the bloody thing) it is the one and only Guns and Roses (or Buns and Toasties if you are in the know) on 4-10-1987 at Newcastle City Hall, The only thing I could remember about the gig was it was a Sunday night and I had split from my first wife on the Friday oh and I felt like hammered shit!

The wife had bought the tickets as a surprise for me (a total surprise as I hated the band with a vengeance an overrated version of Aerosmith mixed with Ted Nugent’s guitar sound, go figure I was a critic even then) But life had got away from me and just when you think everything is fine and dandy, Life comes along and kicks you right in the nuts, my life had spun completely out of control, I didn’t have a clue as to what was going on or what was about to hit me and my mind was reeling with what had just happened. It’s not so bad if you see the train coming down the track and can see the wreck as it hits, but for me and everything that was going on in my life, what with my court case regarding my music publishing, and having to work a dead end job to make ends meet long days short nights you all get the picture it’s what most of us do for a living.

I also felt like shit I had been working so hard to keep a roof over our heads that and with all the travel on top of that, I just never realised how wound up I was, I guess having a husband who had become just a regular working Joe with a regular wage just didn’t cut the mustard anymore. I left with a bag of clothes and all of my Vinyl (well you have to have your priorities right!) on the Tuesday night and went back for my incidentals on the Friday (paperwork and other sundries) and although I thought I was doing the “adult” thing in reality I should have kicked off, but I didn’t, well not until I served the divorce papers which landed on Valentine’s day (but I’ m getting ahead of myself) I headed back to my mother’s house who graciously accepted me back into her house(even though the council were a major pain) and lay this weary body down and went into survival mode, everything caught up with me and that’s when life really kicked me in the nuts, I came down with “man-flu” totally wiped out and I stayed in my pit for all of the Saturday (WTF has this got to do with Buns and Toasties I hear you ask ...well hang on I’m getting there) on the Sunday I struggled downstairs had something to eat (toast) and climbed into a lovely warm bath and washed my sins away, clean clothes and feeling clean in yourself is one of life’s little luxuries I don’t know why everybody hasn’t clicked onto to it!

I decided to sort out the paperwork I had picked up on the Friday night and the first thing that was spied were the guns and roses tickets (ooooh a chance to make some money and get back at the wife) so I headed into town and headed into Trillians, I soon sold the tickets to a couple of meat heads who gave me twenty pounds for the two tickets, not bad on an initial investment of nothing! I bumped into some friends who I hadn’t seen in a while who were on the guest list and there was a spare ticket, I was now at a loose end so I thought “why the hell not”   we headed in while the support act Faster Pussycat were already on the stage and I lasted all of one song, heading downstairs to the bar and having a bit chat, it was at this point life ran up behind me and kicked me once again right in the balls! With what had been going on in my life, no food for three of four days and then about six pints on top of all the crap running through this tired little body (and it was little at the time I weighed all of about nine stone ah the good old days) well you can imagine the rest thankfully I was aware of my impending doom. so I was soon in the toilets, when everything came back up (not good I can assure you) it was over as soon as it began, I made my way back to the gang and people could see I wasn’t in great shape my mate Bob said he would take me home as  I was in no shape to get on public transport, the only problem, Bob was taking another couple home at the end of the gig, so I would have to find a hidey hole away from the general population, thankfully another friend managed to get me in upstairs as the balcony wasn’t open, so as he sat there taking photographs (he did have a pass as he was taking pictures of the whole tour for the record label) I lay on the floor and felt like shit. So what should have been a momentous gig (and I feel I have seen one or two) was a pretty shitty night, which did have one or two pluses to it.

What was hilarious was the singer of Faster Pussycat having a hissy fit because he was wearing beetle crushers the type of things teddy boys used to wear and people in the crowd kept pawing them a truly hilarious moment, but when the future of rock n roll hit the stage I was flat out on the floor, even the staff were a little worried (probably thought I was a junkie by the look of me hahahaha) so much that they kept checking on me and bringing me water every now and again, we stayed for nearly an hour then thankfully Bob and his passengers had had enough, we left before everybody else did, what were the pluses I hear you ask, well I stood on my own two feet and went back out into the big bad world, I reconnected with some old friends and I made twenty quid selling tickets which probably, technically in a court of law were not mine (ooops) the down side was I puked my guts out for about twenty minutes (there’s nothing worse).

So when people reminisce about the night guns and roses destroyed Newcastle and tell the tales of Waxy sweating on them or whatever I really didn’t give a rats ass because I was upstairs in the balcony sweating like a malaria victim having nothing but a good time! But you get bad moments in your life this wasn’t one of those times believe it or not I still had a great time even though I lost the contents of my (skinny) belly! Did I ever feel like going to see them again no as a band they still leave me stone cold good luck if you like them, they just aren’t my cup of tea, oh and the ex - wife never missed the tickets at all so that was a result all around, a hollow victory with what she won from me but at the time that twenty pounds felt like the world at the time!

 

And so the blogs keep coming thank you for all the kind comments and shares, the numbers are through the roof and for some reason are heading back into the territory of the old blog (consistent triple digits) so thanks for that and as always the name game is in play and oh so easy! and thank you to Noya from Japan who wrote a 3000 word email as to why she loved the blog (the poor girl) ah well a long weekend ahead lets see what trouble me and The Tee Hee Club can get up to, so until the next time Toodles!