Dum, Spiro, Spero!

 

I may have mentioned I am not in the best of health; well, the title of the blog is Latin for “while I breathe, I live” well it would appear that at the moment I am struggling to do both things!

This is not a woah is me blog, this is a wake-up dumb ass and give your head a shake, I realise that I am burning the candle (life wise) at both ends, I am also taking a flamethrower to the middle bit, let me explain, I have been carrying a couple of injuries for more than the last 20 years, knocks here and there, but by and large just little niggles,

A torn rotator cuff and yes I did go and see about it however back in the day the recovery time was over four months , at the time I couldn’t afford the time off (this was pre Management role) so I did the pyshio and then soldiered on, and to be truthful  there is probably way too much scar tissue to resolve the issue now, I still do the exercises the DR prescribed for me and simply get on with it., although as I now carry a pack that at its heaviest is 24 KG’s at it’s lightest its around 15KG’s, I have to carry it with me everywhere, I don’t drive so can’t just dump it in a car, I could leave it on the bus, but in this day and age it might simply be blown up as a suspect device!

I have had a number of broken bones and so consequently they hurt when they feel the need to, I have a fractured bone in my hand from when I was 15, didn’t hurt then, I wore a cast, now I can barely hold anything in it, copious amounts of painkillers when it decides to kick in, a fractured skull, eye socket, the list goes on nothing major and all healed (trust me the list is longer) but every now and then they flare up,  my knees are well documented and its beginning to wear me down.

The one that’s bugging me more than anything is the thick coating of phlegm that I try to expel from my throat and chest every morning isn’t helping, with a slight niggle in the top left side of my chest all at the same time! What’s that Blue Oyster Cult song again?  I’m not going to go near a quack (not that I can get an appointment) as my holiday is in 10 week’s time and I need some RNR, the old irritable me is returning to the surface, generally because of my health, I sleep when I shouldn’t, and then sleep for around about 4 to 5 hours a night, I learnt in the army to eat while I can and sleep while I can, I have a normal size meal then I’m out like a light, not good.

I have been the wife’s crutch during the time after the Krakens death and I knew this would be hard and long I simply didn’t understand how long and how hard, and I’m there for her every step of the way, but I am getting slower and slower, soon I might not be of any use to her, and that’s not what I want, I have realised (better late than never) that I need some me time, I need to chill and relax and recharge my batteries, I mean god help me if I had any form of social life at all as well, we are fine on that front!

So I am not stopping this is not a goodbye this is me simply saying I need sometime for me and the wife, nothing else, nothing more, I need to take stock and get some answers from a DR for a change, so I may be missing in action for a couple of weeks (fingers crossed) we are too close to number 600 to stop now, I’m 60 this year and I really do want to reach 61, I only have three things on a bucket list , make the wife better, get myself better and finally reclaim my social life, so don’t panic, the earliest you might see me is the 1^st of October, either way I will keep everybody in the loop, don’t panic I’m not about to shuffle from this mortal coil just yet, however the engine could seize on me if I don’t do something about it soon, I would hate to my timing belt go twang at a most inopportune time, so until the next time, stay safe, stay alive and for now its………….. Toodles!