Now Hear This – 7.

A number of you have been sending a number of things through asking bits and pieces and its one of the logjams I have been working on, the biggest problem is that not everybody’s English is their first language so sometimes I have to try and guess what they actually want, I have been waiting and collating them as although some these have been answered before by and large there is now a different answer to the questions, so here goes you all asked for it.

Numbers: People seem to think that I am obsessed (that’s such a strong word) about the blog, I just want to see what works and I then torture myself rather than obsesses what you lot want. It doesn’t always go to plan that’s why sometimes there can be gaps or I go off road, we get there in the end, if we were to add them together and then divide by the number of blogs, they would usually be high three figures, so I think I can live with that…...for now!

Same People Reading: I’m not 100% sure there are a few familiar faces that pop up from time to time, then people disappear, only to resurface four or five years later it’s a tad freaky, you can usually tell when people have come back to the blog, because there will be a huge surge in numbers suggesting its somebody catching up from where they left off, what do I know, I might just have pissed people off with my shit!

You seem to be enjoying music: That is a given, I went over to the dark side last year I got an iTunes account and I have had a huge amount of fun listening to new artists and old favourites, its where I get most of my blog titles from, if you can guess you will know what I have been listening too (not today though) today has been the entire Queen catalogue starting at the debut winding all the way through to Made in Heaven, tomorrow I intend to do all of their solo albums, that might not be as enjoyable I will have to go with the flow, as the latter couple of Roger Taylor albums are just a little humourless but I will try I feel as though it’s my duty!

What about live gigs: unfortunately, not as much as we have in the past, we have a couple of (serious) issues going on within the family and we need to spend time helping the family, that’s a blog for a different time, going to gigs though usually triggers some memory off that’s why the historical blogs are not as often as they had been, we will get back to it, it will just take a little time, Honest!

Are you enjoying life: Actually, I am trying a lot harder than I used to, I intend to be a help and not a hinderance to my wife and the larger family, the family dynamic has changed and my full focus is my wife, I want her to get the best out of every day and out of life, at the moment that’s hard, I am there for her as she has been for me, she takes too much on and then suffers the consequences, I am trying to get her to take each day as it comes, there are hard times coming down the line, we all know it, I simply want to be some help, she has been my rock for the last 31 years I intend to be hers when she needs me.

Why are you doing the Four on the floor reviews: I have tried a number of times to change the path of this Juggernaut and every time I did something happened, it was like the universe was telling me no, well I don’t like being told no, but usually it was simply because I was trying to do something too radical, it’s a work in progress they get the lowest numbers but they are still three figures, so for the time being as I’m enjoying them they will stay, yes there is a new one coming soon, not next but soon!

New Book: this is the second most asked question so it proves that some of you are older readers as its over ten years since I have done one, I have tried three different times and if I am honest with myself, I went into them half hearted and lost traction quickly, the good news is I have actually started on book number eight its provisionally entitled “Responsible Adult” and it is a work in progress I am gathering my notes, I haven’t started writing it yet, but it shall be slightly different, what’s not helping (in a good way) is that I have so much in my head that I need to get out that I am writing and collating material almost on a daily basis, and the even better news I have always wanted to write a novel and I have beavering, tinkering whatever you want to call it for over twenty years I have recently made headway on it, but I also have a bloody good idea for another one that is more character driven, once I get myself sorted I am looking forward to putting serious hours in on both books, don’t say I haven’t warned you!

Blogs: so on the subject of blogs I have been poked with a big stick since just before last Christmas, the last few weeks I have gone off piste, I have been dealing with a health issue for myself, that doesn’t mean I’m not writing, it just means I haven’t had time to polish what has been written I do not intend doing more than 52 in one year so I need to relearn to pace myself, fatigue catches up with me a little quicker than it used to, but I am enjoying my writing so here’s hoping that I can keep it up (ooer missus).

Health: to be brutal its shit, my diabetes isn’t playing the game, I am constantly trying to be a good boy and in most instances I am succeeding, there is only the occasional blip these days, my knees and hips have joined in, my body is revolting, quite literally, I am trying my best to be a better person, the older I get the harder it is, other distractions within the family hasn’t helped me, at the end of the day its down to me and I have good times and bad times, I have had a stomach condition that is still be diagnosed coming up 8 years, I keep getting passed from pillar to post, I was discharged from my last clinic after their run of tests last August  eight months after my last appointment, I was a little happy to be told that I would be seen by the new clinic (the one I asked for first because that’s where it feels like I am having the issue) announcing that I had an appointment next March (this was last October) only to be told that in January that my appointment had been cancelled, so god only knows when I will get another one, and he’s not telling, everybody I have seen says it’s nothing sinister, I know that, but its wearing me out and in June it will have been 8 years, I love all that the NHS stands for however I’m not feeling the love at the moment.

Why do you keep rebuilding the style of the blog: the only answer I can give you is that I’m a bloody idiot, what can I tell you, normally when I’m having a crisis of confidence, I will answer a little more in detail in a later question.

Has there been a high point in the blog: I had a long hard think about this, only two people asked this question but it’s the one that intrigued me the most, I would like to think that I can get better and that the best is yet to come, if I didn’t think that, then what’s the point, the most consistent I would say would be 2016, there seems to be some consistency there, I didn’t reread the blogs just looking at the titles and the numbers that does seem to be the sweet spot, for me, no doubt I will get some “feedback” where people will disagree, what do I know I simply write the bloody stuff!

Any Regrets: Yes, the fact that I haven’t been consistent, and that has been my fault, health issues usually both Mental and Physical have had a big hand in all things that have screwed me up, my lack of confidence at certain points of my writing life, all I can do is put one foot in front of the other on a daily basis.

BOB: a lot of people understand the image of the black dog that seems to haunt modern life and I have had my issues, I have written about it in the past and its likely I will again in the future, I am probably at the best I have been in over 40 years, I’m not perfect it’s a longer road to better health, there is no quick fix, I’m not a whole person, yet! But I am trying to be a better person than I was yesterday, I have good days and really good days, but I also have my bad days, nowhere near as many as I have had in the past, Bob is my black dog, he haunts my waking and my sleeping moments, he will never leave me I would be foolish to think otherwise, I have been taught some exercises to help me, and most of the times they do work, but I am not “cured” it’s a day by day kind of thing, this last fortnight has seen him getting closer to the house as I go to work and then come home and see my wife for an hour before she heads back to help her mother, I slink back into the darkness and wait for him because I know he’s there, my confidence in myself has actually taken a battering in these two weeks, but I am working at it, it’s all I can do and as long as I wake up happy I can take everything else that comes my way, I have to keep telling myself that, it’s the only way it works, I rarely drink these days (social life what’s one of those) I think that helps, I do still like a drink, but lets not drink in the house as my head will be in the fridge and then problems start, as long as I can keep Bob at arm’s length, it will be a good day, here’s hoping!

Historical Blogs: Again, no social life, no historical blogs, it’s as simple as that, my memory can be quite crap, I need something to trigger something, I have written a couple but they didn’t sparkle, and if they don’t meet my standards then they don’t see the light of day, will there be more? of course there will be, just watch this space.   

What is the most asked question asked about previous blogs: that’s easy, name the girl who stole your heart and buried it out on the moors in the blog “Girls” and the answer is still no! this was brought up in “Now Hear This 3” look my answer up, it hasn’t changed, I wish her all the best in life, it was my issue, I was a dick, hell I was a kid, I would love to be able to say sorry but she would probably look at me and go what the hell!  That’s if she even remembers me (who could forget me lol everybody) So, let’s leave my heart where she buried it, it deserved to be buried, learn the lesson and move on, I seem to have an issue with that, ha me with my reputation!

Most Read Blog: I’m going to say “Intruder” and I have no idea why, every now and then it pops back up with a read here or a read there, and it starts me thinking what has that got, and I haven’t got a bloody clue its obviously hit a note with people, its things like trying to work it out that colours my waking hours, oh to suffer for one’s art LOL!

Do you still enjoy writing: I think we can agree that’s a big YES! And again I have no idea why, I have written words, Lyrics Poetry and other shit since I was about 8 most of it crap but every now and then something pops up that I know is good, you can simply see it shinning from the distance, its not all the time but writing is a muscle if you don’t do it you lose it, I know this for a fact I couldn’t write a lyric or a poem even if I tried, I simply don’t have that skill set any more, I know because at various points I have tried, I can offer opinions on something that has been written and I can jump in with a line here and there but my song writing days are over, and I have sat and typed that last line a great idea for a historical blog has popped into my head….watch this space!

Do you have problems with people after writing stuff: Not like when I had issues on Myspace, thankfully, I do however get people (who don’t know me personally) who argue the toss about something that’s happened to me, I don’t engage and by and large I simply block them, I learned my lesson some people simply like to sit behind their keyboard, and argue the toss, good luck to them and all who sail with them, not my circus not my clowns, see I can grow as human being, shame they can’t!

The Black Book: this is a couple of questions rolled into one, as there were a few that sort of hit the same mark, do I still have it, hell yes I rarely go anywhere without some materials to write on, I haven’t got round to keeping my notes electronically, I love the thrill of trying to capture some intangible thought that can disappear as quick as it appeared, believe I’m on black book number 29, with scribbles, notes, ideas and general crap in this book I have as of tonight idea for 7 blogs, one which popped into my head about an hour ago, as always watch this space for INCOMING!

Cunning Plans: I need them, without them life would be shitter than ever, only one in about three hundred ever get to fruition, and I really do try, what can I say, life is shit but it could be a whole heap worse, I am not tempting fate we are all one day away from shit in our lives, so those cunning plans help me believe it or not, we all need something to help us get out of bed, otherwise what’s life all about!

So there you have the longest blog in over a year and the first Now Hear This in such a long time, keep the questions coming in you never know when they might come in handy, I know I rarely interact with you the discerning reader, its easier to get a meeting with the pope, honestly I intend to go with the flow, I hope you have enjoyed it, the name game is in play but the fact that I have explained it previously, its relatively simple! So enjoy keep spreading the word, lets see how well this one does, keep watching the skies, stay safe and stay alive and in the case of one discerning reader get well soon “Broadsword calling Danny boy, Broadsword calling Danny boy” until the next one………. Toodles!