Under The gun

Under The Gun.

The morning came so much quicker than expected and we both got up and did our morning routine and once we were of a sensible frame of mind (yeah right) we packed and repacked and double checked that there was nothing else to be packed in the case you know the little things like bed, fridge, safe the little things, my feet at this point after a week of abuse were totally and utterly shredded so there was nothing for it but to borrow the wife’s trainers as they were bigger than any of mine and would enable me to be able to put one foot in front of another. Once we were done we generally relaxed and had a bit of banter, we didn’t have to book out until eleven but there was a nagging doubt about the credit card after the issue earlier in the week, the money was there to cover the tax (robbing bastards) bill I just didn’t wish to embarrass anybody by them being associated with a pauper (well the wife is used to it) but there wasn’t any problem in the end (there is a god somewhere).

As we left we put our suitcases in storage but the guy huffed and puffed as he wanted his tip up front (in case he wasn’t there when we went back) my mind went blank as it suddenly dawned on me and I slipped him two dollars I panicked as I walked away as I thought my twenties were on the outside but thankfully I had folded my money the other way all he got was a couple of singles (and he was on duty when we went back and I certainly didn’t give him another tip as we climbed aboard) we went for a last wander up the strip and a little light lunch.

We returned to claim our bags and jumped into a taxi with the oldest taxi driver in the world (at least 431 years old) as we climbed aboard we found a wallet which we handed to the driver who radioed in to say he had it (an honest person in Las Vegas the city of sin go figure) and it felt good to see our good karma skills rise, we soon arrived at the airport and I do admit to being just a tad bugged by the fact that I hadn’t been one hundred percent health wise but I had really enjoyed my time there I could only imagine how mental it would have been if The Tee Hee Club had been firing on all four cylinders instead of just three. We got our baggage weighed and we weren’t taking back anything over the top so there was a sigh of relief over our little group, and then we headed off to see if security would frighten us with the snap of a rubber glove, we sailed through well I did the wife struggled to lift her arms high enough (it was all the class A chocolate she was smuggling.....NOT) but we got through soon enough and if I’m honest we were all just a little deflated we didn’t want to go back if truth be told honest, it was at this point E vented her spleen (one last time..Well for this day) on poor G he was only looking for his Kestrel there was really no need to go (that) atomic on his ass!

We got some seats and we took it in turns to check out the (small) duty free area the only thing I fancied was a bottle of Skull vodka (I wish I had got it now) which wasn’t as cheap as we had seen it earlier in the week, we headed to the sweetie shop (and were promptly robbed) before settling down to wait (and wait and wait) for our (late) flight home. The wife reverted to form and basically became her usual intolerant self and was once again an equal opportunities hater (she really does hate the world and everybody including me) as she sat and vented her spleen at anybody and everybody who walked past within viewing distance.

We teased E just a little bit simply because we could and listened to the tannoy announcements that were pretty garbled and mainly in Spanish it certainly sounded like something from the fast show (scorchio) so that kept me amused for just a little while at least. E started to panic all over again when the little black book came out yet again. We finally got to board and were soon on our way back to blighty and I would like to say that the flight back was memorable it wasn’t really, just ten hours of food sleep and the occasional free drink  but at least I didn’t throw up or crap through the eye of a needle (too much well I thought we had covered this already hahahaha) it was your typical not enough room with people pushing their seats back and forward and the wife as usual hating the world (I know I definitely covered this several times) we landed and went through the usual customs and once we got to the other side we got our bags and headed to the train station.

While awaiting to jump aboard the train home we all switch our mobiles on and did what we had to do and me and E (who had the least amount of calls to make or messages to check, ok so I had none I was there with my friends hahahaha) watched and were amazed at how many peeps were texting or chatting on their phones, how did this happen, twenty years ago it would have been something out of a science fiction film but now everybody cannot live without their mobile (if your American it’s a cell) I would gladly give mine up but it’s the only way the wife can keep an eye on me as allegedly I’m a naughty boy all of the time (well that’s how she makes me feel if I miss a bloody call). We were prepared after the scrum at Newcastle to get on the train and we easily out manoeuvred everybody so that we could claim our seats. I did a good deed ( I can do from time to time I’m not all bad) and we had a gentle trip back, the photographs of people sleeping with drool coming out of their mouths won’t be published (until the time is right honestly E you have nothing to worry about) for a while.

We got back to sunny Newcastle (sooner than we really wanted to) and me being the last one through the gate was able to get stuck, yes boys and girls another bit of technology that hated me, we called for a taxi when the world and his friend had descended upon Newcastle for this weekend was mother’s day but we did get a taxi quite quickly (thanks Blue line) and we said our fond farewells and were soon in the arms of our loved ones (and the Kraken) and we soon discourged all our suitcases and  presents and stuff  but what we wanted was some sleep (go figure) and we soon settled back into the mundane life we left behind when we headed off to Las Vegas.